If I hadn’t been living on the road so long I was sure my feet would have been sore after repeatedly going through the same dance at least a dozen times as the sun approached the horizon. Blood red light filtered through the window bathing the walls in its color. The amount of times one of the women in waiting stepped on my feet while trying to learn how to subtly lead their partner with even a modicum of Urist’s grace.

My shoulders were stiff from holding them in the proper position while dancing. Supporting my arm’s weight so that I wouldn’t droop down on my partners. There were more than one whisper asking for my attention in the dead of night and where they could be found in the castle should I desire a midnight visit. I never would have guessed how raring to go these noble women were at the slightest of intimate attention from who they saw as a hero. No doubt the king’s speech at the great feast had sparked more than a little interest.

I slowed down as that feeling of being watched filled me. I turned around to spot whoever was trying to follow me. Keeping my nose sharp, I tried to smell whoever was out there. I could smell nothing over the amount of perfume that had rubbed off on me during the dances. Feeling that it would be better if I wasn’t in such an open place I started to walk towards the chambers I had been given to keep myself in while I was serving the court.

There was an entire team of seamstresses going over plans for the coming project and who they should choose to also wear the new outfits they were designing. One cobbler amongst them was trying to clarify how important the boot was going to be. That it was actually the most important thing since it should look both tough and functional enough to dance but he was vastly ignored. Wine was passed around as they watched Georgina furiously working on patterns for each of them to work on in the coming days.

No one noticed me in their frenzy as I picked out some food to sate some of my hunger. The crowding of the area as the gaggle of women looked on in fascination. Georgina spoke the exact words that Urist had used when describing what was most important about the fit of it and how it would accentuate the male figure. Next to her, probably her second in command was working on drawing up the undergarments and this gut sucking belt that the larger individuals would need.

That same persisting feeling of being watched was on the back of my neck as I went into my personal room and stripped off my clothes. Sitting there I listened to the world around me and tried to discern anything with my senses over the din of conversations and smell of perfume. I felt a sneeze coming on and let everything dull once more. Something was bothering the more animalistic part of me and it was maddening.

Slinking down in the bed I did my best to still myself, instead of sleeping I would go into a half awake trance. Just a half step away from a slumber that would threaten to run away with my time in this place. It was risky what I was doing but it would save me if there was anything that would try to harm me in the middle of the night. I pulled the blankets over myself and felt my mind separate, one half into the restful state of sleep, the other staying awake to keep an eye on everything. Ready to turn my body into hardened scales to defend myself at a moment's notice. I let my brain become much closer to that of my dragon self.

I couldn’t dream in this state, it was not real sleep. I could maybe keep this going for a few days before I would have to relent and revert my mind much closer to the human side of myself. My heart slowed to a crawl and my breaths became deep as I slowly slipped away. Riding the edge of a true Slumber.

Time slipped away as I looked on. My mind barely holding on to the thin edge of my willpower. Then it was time to wake up. I started to bring my mind to wakefulness and it was like pulling a horse free that was chest deep in swamp mud. My mind warred against itself as I began to sweat. I had done something so risky and the part of me that had stayed awake begged to sleep with the other half as I forced my willpower to fill me.

I could feel my hands, I began to clench them tightly. Squeezing the still sore wounds of my missing fingers. The pain would be my weapon against the sleep that was trying to come. My body shook and sweat beaded on my forehead. The struggle was deep and eternal in that moment that stretched to eternity. My eyes were slowly closing against my will as I tried to keep them pried open. If I slept now it would be for years or, with where I was, until I was killed.

Thoughts of all those dead dragons I had taken part in raising. The brothers and sisters lost to time poured into my mind. How many of them were killed in their slumbers? Trapped for eternity in rest. I held on to the rage that came with the sorrow and fought off the sleep that was threatening to overtake me. With an internal scream that would shake the castle I pulled my mind slowly free of the grasping Slumber.

Stolen story; please report.

With a gasp I sat straight up in bed throwing the blanket off myself as my heart hammered its displeasure in my chest. I gasped my breath going ragged as my mind raced with what had just happened. I had hoped I would be able to do this again but now… I don’t think I could risk it. The tiniest slip up could cost me my life. Sweat dripped off my nose down onto the blankets that were gripped tightly in my hands. Blood seeped from my bandages, the clenching of my fists having torn open the scabs that had formed. I looked at the seeping wetness of the wound and thanked it for the pain.

I stood, my body shaking like a fresh born calf. I reached over stumbling to grasp the jug of water left in my room and pressed it to my lips letting it run down my throat and spill out the sides of my mouth. Greedily I drank half drowning myself to step away from the sleep that threatened me.

My plans to keep this up for a few days crumbled like an ancient page left to rot in the damp waters of a swamp. The very swamp that had mired my mind in its siren’s call. I looked around the room, my eyes clearing off the fog in my mind. I looked at the clothes I had worn yesterday. Deciding to wait I poured some water onto a rag and began rubbing my face and hair pressing the cold into my face.

I pulled out the other set of clothes that had been brought to me expressly for today and slipped them on. They were the bright yellow and red that the lower city seamster had recommended. Though with this sudden change of fashion I felt foolish for spending so much money on this outfit. It was loose and breezy though so if it came to a fight I would have some way to defend myself.

I stretched my body from its heaviness and stepped out of the room. Maybe the tea that was served with breakfast would keep me going throughout the day. The room was quiet. I had no idea how long Georgina and her gaggle had stayed up fussing over everything and what that might have done to the two scholars. Though there was a spread of breakfast food to pull from there was no one. I tested the side of the pot of tea and felt it was still scalding hot. Perfect.

I dished myself up a large plate of everything my heart desired and a large wine cup of tea. Skipping the dainty little cups usually provided for such a thing. The struggle of my morning left me famished for sustenance. I couldn’t help but shove more and more food into my body. Two, three servings later I sat there and finally satiated my hunger. I could feel the bones in my body desperate to revert back to my true form. Having put my mind so close to its true form had awakened the feeling of being whole again. Instead of the constant feeling of something missing that being human brought onto me.

I closed my eyes, it had been a mentally draining morning and I had a whole day to survive ahead of me. I sat up pulling the cloth I had used to protect my outfit free of my neck and noticed my hands had shifted to that of a clawed set of fingers. The long black talons were almost shredding through the cloth. I took a moment and forced control back over everything.

Another cup of tea later I was ready to leave the living area. Without Paetor I wouldn’t be able to get into the library. If I had access to his clothes I could always pretend to be him but that was a dangerous prospect now. I would also have to take the time to plumb his memories and learn exactly how to act like him for every interaction with others. Too many times I had tried to do so without forethought and been caught for the slightest of mistakes.

Finally feeling in control I decided it was time for some fresh air. I had been trapped inside the castle all of yesterday and maybe I could finally catch whoever was watching me if they had to step outside. Resolved to go forward I slipped from the communal room and used my mental map to get back outside of the castle. The garden stretched before the walls in all directions. A veritable maze of shrubberies making a pattern that only those from above could see. Navigated reliably by gardeners that had spent years shaping it.

I took a deep inhale of the fresh air as I stepped out into the garden. That feeling of being watched niggling at the back of my neck. If confronted now I didn’t know if I would kill them. I hadn’t presented myself as someone able to take a life in the eyes of the nobles and to do so might tarnish what I was trying to accomplish.

I moved slowly to one of the many seating areas in the predawn light in the garden and sat there. The cool air of spring morning caressed my skin and sent shivers down my spine. It was such a delightful feeling when I would usually be stuffed in a few layers to make sure I wouldn’t catch a cold or anything. I did my best not to appear watchful as I sat there. A shadow moved along a window high up in the second form as the barest form of a silhouette could be seen. I kept an eye on them, I was too far for any arbalest or bow to hit me reliably without me noticing the window breaking but still I kept myself ready.

I sat there being watched from afar. Some person I could not see no matter what shape I put my eyes in from my seating area. The darkness of the room they were in cloaking them from sight. As I watched dawn light slowly working its way down the castle towards the window the figure slipped away from view. Never being fully revealed to me.

Finally that feeling of being watched faded and I was left there to relax in the dawn light. Warmth from the sunshine started to spread through my back as I stared at the castle. The light blue sky stretched above me, vast in all directions as I soaked in the peaceful moment. So many balls in the air to juggle. So many things I had to keep an eye out for and make sure to manage properly. All of it was testing my abilities to maintain my place in life.

That same deep sense of tiredness filled me. It called for me to go back to bed, or climb some far mountain and rest for a hundred years and damn the consequences of my own actions. Still though, I had a gut feeling that I was on the path to finding another dragon to live eternity with. Someone I wouldn’t dare abandon for the rest of time eternal. I rubbed at my face as I stared at it all. The castle that was slowly growing into some deep trap of time and effort. The dance I would have to do to keep in the minds of everyone around me but not so important that they would obsess over monopolizing my time.

Finally I could stand the cold no longer. Standing up I put my hands on my hips and stared at one of the most dangerous places I had willingly spent time in.

“Time to get to work,” I said into the dawn.