My day was actually going quite well. Well, until me and my friend were yeeted into the Abyss to be punted by a bear that did not take any shit. So, all in all? A completely normal day. But maybe I should start from the beginning. Yeah. That sounds fun.
~~~
I yawned and sat up to be greeted by the face of my snake, Mia, who seemed a bit annoyed, as evidenced by her light hiss as I woke.
“What? Are you hungry already?” I murmured, patting her head. “I fed you five days ago though…”
Mia was actually a pretty large snake, but a gentle giant, as one would call her. She had dozens of blue and yellow scales that were annoying to pet, yet she seemed to like it when I pet her, even if it was backwards. I didn’t actually know what type of snake she was (though I had my suspicions she was some sort of boa constrictor), seeing as I’d found her egg randomly at a pet store that I used to work at, and decided to just take her in.
Mia hissed again and I groaned as I threw my legs off the bed. “Come on, you hundred pound menace.” I pulled her onto my shoulders with a grunt and walked over to her habitat, letting her slither in as I went over to the garage and pulled out a decently large dead rat, and tossed it to her as I arrived back at our room. A form at the top bunk of the room began to stir as Mia wrapped herself around the rat, slowly swallowing it.
“Ung…” The girl muttered, still tired. “Why are you awake Jason? It’s barely seven.”
“It’s nearly eight, you idiot,” I said, hitting her with one of my pillows. “Now get up.”
“Go to hell,” she grumbled, though she pulled herself up and jumped down.
Leah shook out her purple-tipped black hair and looked at Mia, frowning. “Didn’t she eat like a week ago?”
“Five days, though she’s a bit oversized for her age; nearly ten feet at age three and still growing.”
“Jesus Christ,” she said, her voice a bit muffled since her face was half in our closet. “I call the shower first.”
“Dammit.”
~~~
Leah yawned, walking next to me. I barely restrained myself from yawning with her and forged on, grabbing Leah before she walked into the street a few times. Sighing after the third time, I held onto her backpack to make sure she didn’t do it again.
“Come on, you,” I grumbled, pulling her along. “Don’t kill yourself now.”
“But what if I wanna?” Leah whined. “There’s nothing to do in life! It’s sooooooo boring!”
I sighed. “Mia exists.”
“You care about Mia more than you care about me. And that says a lot about you; I’ve known you for years longer than her. And she’s a snake!” She then gave me a suspicious look. “Do you have a thing for snakes?”
“WHA-”
She smacked my arm. “Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”
“No I do not. I like snakes, but you’re trying to take that to a whole ‘nother level,” I muttered. “Plus, she’s nearly an adult. Weirdo.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t put it behind you…”
I snorted. “Me? I think we should be talking about you there, bucko.”
“EXCUSE ME? Now look here, you, I will get a boyfriend that lasts for more than a month. I guarantee!”
I began to laugh uncontrollably. “Like you have said. The last four times. I think you just get bored of them.”
“NO! It just… doesn’t work out.” She looked down at her feet. “Am I really that bad at dating?”
“How would I know? I’m just the guy you forced to be friends with you.”
“AHA!” She exclaimed. “How about you go on a date with me?! Then you can give me pointers! Imma genius! HAHAHAH-OW!”
I grabbed her ear as she nearly ran into the street again. “How about we start with paying attention to our surroundings, eh?”
She gave me a meek look. “Ah.”
She then forged ahead, spouting all sorts of nonsense, as usual.
Leah and I had an interesting relationship. One, we had to live in the same dorm, mostly ‘cause Leah was uncomfortable around other girls, which led to all sorts of nonsense that I had to put down, which was quite the endeavor. It also helped that her parents paid a crap ton of money (which, if I’m being honest, they probably didn’t notice) to even allow it.
Shaking my head, I looked up to our school that loomed in the distance. Not much to say about it, seeing as is, and here’s the oh so typical fantasy story beginning: We didn’t even make it there.
***
Waking from her slumber, the System creaked… well, at least in the body she was currently in. She yawned, causing even more creaks, and looked around to the Void, wondering how long she’d been absorbing the Mana required for the next bunch of integrations. She was mildly surprised when she saw the time had only been about a hundred million years.
Normally, that takes longer, she muttered. Maybe this next bunch is a bit smaller?
She checked and…
Nope. Of course not. Even being the System, things have to be hard. Amazing luck I have.
She churned, thinking, for a bit before zipping across the universe and popping into existence to see her manager dead asleep. Scowling as well as an unemotional robotic face could, she poked him a few times. He didn’t stir.
Wake up, you dimwit, she hissed, poking his cheek a bit harder.
“Go away, stupid robot,” he muttered in his sleep. “Can’t a man get his beauty sleep?”
No.
He groaned before opening his eyes and looking straight at her, something she still wasn’t used to. “Look who woke up from her nap. Have fun?”
Hurry up and tell me how a few billion mana is supposed to allow me to integrate a group of 3000 planets?
He gave her a strange look before shrugging. “I dunno. Maybe do like fifty of ‘em? Then go back to bed? Wait, no. I would love to see you become Mana Deprived again; it was like you were drunk. You even took on a human form and tried to-”
DO NOT REMIND ME.
The man grinned and spun back around. “I’ll just compile a list of the 50 I think will be quite useful. I wonder what’ll come of it…”
***
Congratulations! Your planet, Earth 728G, has been selected to be Integrated! Due to your Planet’s low Tier, you will be integrated with the Planet Aurora.
Integration commences in 12 System hours (16 Earth Hours)
15:59:57
Yawning, I ignored the screen at first, dismissing it without realizing what had happened. Leah, on the other hand, stopped in her tracks, gaping.
“J-Jason? Do you see this?” she asked, grabbing my sleeve.
I turned to her and frowned. “What?”
“‘Congratulations! Your Planet, Earth 728G, has been selected to be integrated!’ That!”
I blinked before the same screen popped into my vision again. “Uh… Huh. Maybe this is a joke?”
“A jo-” she shook her head like I was insane before gesturing in the area around us.
As I looked, I realized that people around us were looking into the air in confusion, some even in terror. “Oh.”
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“‘Oh’?! The hell is this? And why aren’t you panicking?”
I blinked, wondering the same thing before just waving the screen away again. “Well, who cares? Maybe this’ll be interesting?”
“You are so stupid,” Leah muttered, still holding onto my shirt. “What the hell even is Integration? And is this some classified government crap that puts us under their control?”
“What do you have against the government?”
“I dunno, maybe that my life was ruined by the government in Spain?” She hissed. She then went on about something to do with deportation in Spanish.
“Sure…” I looked ahead, shrugged and continued on.
~~~
“Huh. 8 hours and thirty seconds left.”
Leah hung upside-down from her bunk and glared at me from above. “Panicking yet?”
“Nope. I still don’t really care,” I responded. “I mean, should I?”
She tossed herself off her bed and flipped in the air, landing on her feet to face me. “Did you see how everyone was acting? They were all twitching and nervous. How do you not notice these things?”
Ignoring her, I let Mia coil around my arm and rest there for a while as I looked back to Leah. “Well-”
I was then rudely interrupted by a splitting headache that made me nearly fall off my chair. Mia writhed and let go of me, racing to her habitat as Leah tripped, falling into me. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute, I was facedown on the ground, panting.
You have been successfully integrated into the System!
Time taken : 1:34 Earth hours
Say or think “Status” to begin!
For a few moments I ignored this, groaning. Finally, I sat up and shook my head before looking over to Leah, who was still writhing in my bed, though she was starting to calm down. I then looked over to the screen and frowned?
Say or think Status? I thought septically. Uh, Status?
Another, more interesting screen appeared.
Status
Name : Jason Andromeda
Level 1
Race : ???
Health : 150/150 (15 Health/Min)
Mana : 150/150 (15 Mana/Min)
Class : None | Tier 0
Stats
Strength : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Dexterity : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Endurace : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Vitality : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Mana : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Intelligence : 15 (Base : 10 Effectiveness : 150%)
Titles : The Top of Humanity…?, Unknown Racial Bonus
Skills : None.
“Woah,” I said in awe. “That’s interesting. Though this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.”
Leah groaned behind me and I looked over to her, remembering that she existed. After a second, I sat down next to her and waited for about a minute until she sat up, shaking her head like she was waking up from a bad dream. Unfortunately, this dream wasn’t ending anytime soon.
“The heck is a ‘Status’?” She muttered, clearly disoriented.
“I haven't a clue, my friend, though ‘friend’ may be an overstatement,” I said in a sullen tone.
This woke her up, seeing as she turned to me with a glare. “I’m gonna guess you already opened it.”
“Yep. None of it makes sense whatsoever,” I echoed myself. “I mean, I know the definitions of the words but I don’t actually understand what they entail.”
She sat there, brooding for a moment. I took that as a time to think over whatever was going on.
So let’s start with this “integration”. Clearly, it’s something all beings on earth are going through, so I’ll assume that it’s a necessary function, I began. Why is it necessary? This “Status” is probably to help us understand what we are and the limitations of ourselves. But, we don’t get much information on it, so I’m going to assume it’s going to give us a tutorial or drop us off in some random place, where other people are going to explain it to us. (Not sure what’s more likely there. Knowing my luck, probably the random place theory.) If it is the random thing, I’m gonna assume that we’ll either be well watched over, meaning that we’ll be given a chance to grow or we’ll be watched with high security to make sure we don’t get too strong and usurp whatever control they have… Hell if I’m gonna let them mold me into what they want. I’d rather burn myself alive. Either way, I don’t think I want to be around anyone if we are put into a situation like that.
So first things first, I thought. Find a place far from society to get strong enough that people won’t bother me. Hm. I have the strange feeling that I should be panicking far more. This Integration is probably helping me process this stuff.
I looked over to Leah, who seemed to be deep in thought. I shook her shoulder, making her flinch and look around rapidly. “Huh? Wha-?”
She blinked and shook her hair out like a dog ridding itself of water. “I’ve never been so deep in thought. Jesus. Okay, what exactly is going on?”
“I dunno, but…” I relayed my thoughts to her, watching as she nodded.
“I think you have a point. Staying away from people may be a good choice. But it could also be a bad one,” she responded, a thoughtful look on her face. “I mean, if this is anything like those LitRPG novels we read all the time-”
“Then they might have things that improve cultivation, if we can cultivate; remember, not all LitRPG have cultivation.”
“True, but…” She frowned. “Wait. I feel like I should be losing my head over this. Not acting like it’s a normal occurrence.”
“I feel the same way. I think Integration is messing with our thought process.”
She nodded and we began to talk it out for a while.
~~~
I woke up, disoriented. “Woah. I’ve never had such a good sleep in my life.”
I felt great, like I’d just woken up from a twelve hour rest, though, according to the timer, it’d been nearly seven hours.
1:22:42
Damn. Was this what this was gonna be like? Perfect rest? I will take it all, no questions asked. I blinked away my thoughts and glanced over at Leah, who was dead asleep above me, though she was beginning to stir.
“Ung… that was the best sleep I’ve had in ages, gods,” she muttered. “Oh, hey, there’s an hour and a half left until- oof!”
Leah had rolled over and fell off the bed, hitting the ground with a thump. After a moment, she popped back up.
“Wow. That didn’t even hurt! I’m invincible!”
I reached over and grabbed her ear, causing her to yelp in pain. “Not so invincible now, eh?” I said smugly.
She wrestled my hand off of her and gave me a rude hand gesture. Then she sighed. “You think that if something happens when the timer hits zero, we should pack some stuff?”
I groaned. “Oh no, my worst enemy! Packing!”
“That’s a yes.”
“Oh come on!” I said as she dragged me out of my soft, soft bed.
Over the next hour, we collected what we thought would be necessary into our two backpacks, albeit a bit nervously. If nothing happened, I know we’d feel like gigantic idiots. But if something did happen?
“Hehehe,” I giggled as I picked up a notepad, earning myself a strange look from Leah.
She rolled her eyes and threw a pencil at me. I snapped it out of the air before it hit me, just to be hit by another pencil.
“Bullseye!” she cackled.
I shook my head and grabbed a Swiss Army Knife and studied it closely. If I wasn’t mistaken…
New Skill Acquired!
Identify - Leve-
Skill, Identify, is evolving due to Racial Passive!
Evolved Skill from Identify:
All Seeing Eye of the Abyss - Level 1 | Tier 0
This skill works like the [Identify] Skill, allowing you to glean information about items. This is an improved skill, giving you more information and blocking all attempts of most [Identify] type skills regardless of Level difference.
Cost : None
Identify Requirements : 2x (Your Level) + 3x (Skill Level)
Swiss Army Knife - Level 10
A worn down, multi-use knife with no special additions other than the stickers and memories. Your trusty companion, especially since it helped your snake shed multiple times when she got stuck.
Base Damage : 15 Physical Damage
“Ah. Leah, if you just study something hard enough, you’ll get a Skill called [Identify],” I said, holding back the fact that my Skill had just “Evolved”. Something about that made me feel a bit… wary.
“Oh?” She looked at me and scrunched up her face. After a few moments: “Ah. Nice. Though, I can’t use it on you. It just says ‘Identification Failed’.” She said the quote in a higher voice. “Can you use it on me?”
Leah Bane - Level 1 | Tier 0
Demigod
Your childhood friend, who has an attitude sometimes. However, you find her quite reliable. She has been your longest lasting friend to date. However, you wonder how she’s a Demigod…
“Yeah. It’s a bit personal too. I think it has something to do with having a connection to you,” I told her. “Though… Demigod?”
“Yeah, I’m a bit confused about that; how am I… whatever that is?” Leah said.
“Well-”
! Warning !
Planet Integration commences in 1 minute! Scanning for threats…
“Oh hey. It’s about to start!” Leah said over me. “I wonder where we’re going to be put…”
“So do I, but I hope it’s somewhere nice-”
! WARNING !
Threat detected! Analyzing threat…
I felt a very strange feeling go up my spine and I had a very, very bad feeling.
“I swear to our Lord and Savior, if I’m this ‘Threat’...” I began.
Leah waved her hand dismissively. “Of course you’re not the threat! Why would you, an inconspicuous guy, be a threat to this thing?”
Naturally…
Threat identified!
Abyssal detected! You are in close proximity to Abyssal Jason Andromeda!
Changing destination…
New destination : The Abyssal Planes
Good Riddance.
I was quiet for a moment and looked over to Leah. “You were saying?”
Then the world darkened and I lost consciousness.
***
The Manager chewed on a “licorice rope”, which he had to admit was probably the best creation of Earth 728G, other than their strange cheese, “cheddar”, if he remembered right.
The Manager laughed silently, knowing that the System’s android behind him probably realized that he was enjoying the taste of food, which was something she couldn’t. He could practically feel her scowl at his antics.
“So, uh, how did you miss an Abyssal exactly? ‘Cause I know you have a grudge against them for destroying a few thousand planets?”
It was 576,923 planets they destroyed, approximately 1.56-
“I really don’t care how much time it took you to make them. Just wondering why you didn’t outright kill the boy.”
The System looked at him as if she was baffled that he’d interrupted her. She then scowled deeper, if an expressionless face could. Because. I think he may have a… different path. By the way… why did you replace that snake’s memories? And turn her into a-
“Shhh. It’s a surprise,” the man reprimanded, waving his head. “Who knows where that boy’s mind is now?”