That late January morning, Kyle was actually the first one to leave the shack, when it was most often Lili’s springing from the covers that woke him. He went about his usual morning activities up to and including posing their breakfast selection on a spit above the fire. After he had finished all his other tasks that morning, while still waiting on the meat to cook thoroughly through, he glanced back at the still closed door.
With a slight sigh, he headed back inside and to their sleeping area, where Lili was still wrapped tightly in the heavy pile of covers, “You’re not getting up?”
She just sighed heavily, not really looking up from her pillow, “For almost three months straight I was forced, against my will, to get up at ungodly hours. Now that the puking has mostly stopped, I think I’ll just stay right here.” she mumbled.
“Well, now you at least have the option to get up out of your own free will, right?” Kyle attempted a smile, “Wouldn’t that be a nice change?”
“Why bother?” she returned in an even quieter mumble.
“Sorry?”
With that she finally rolled over to face him, though still didn’t make much eye contact, “Get up, shiver and stare at the river all day, thinking and worrying, then go back to bed just to get up and do it again? Yeah, that sounds appealing.” she scoffed.
Kyle narrowed his eyes at her statement before speaking, “Lili, you’ve barely gotten out of bed at all these last couple weeks, other than to just eat a few bites, before crawling back under the covers again.”
“See previous statement.” she added emotionlessly.
He then sighed once more, before making another attempt at lighthearted prodding, “But Goatess and Goatette miss you. They always liked you better than me, remember?” he smiled weakly.
“Now you suddenly believe they have feelings? That’s new.” she scoffed weakly.
“Hey, I didn’t shoot them, did I?” he attempted to hold the smile, despite her own obvious mood.
“Great, you can go keep them company, then.” she mumbled as she rolled back over.
Kyle let out a heavier sigh then, “Ok, I give. I’m gonna ask the question no guy should ever ask, but, what’s wrong, hon’?”
She let out another scoff rather than any sign of the amusement he had been aiming to elicit, “Isn’t the shorter answer, what’s right?”
“Ok, so what’s right?” he decided to play along, instead of press for the original answer, just yet.
“Not a whole hell of a lot.” she mumbled again with a slight sniffle.
“Lili.” he began, though his difficulty with the very idea of showing any emotion or weakness of his own, also precluded being able to show much empathy, either. Instead of finishing the sentence, he sighed once more, not even sure how to deal with her obvious depression. It was true that it was an understandable depression, but he had somehow let himself believe, up until that point, that once she had started feeling physically better, it would also make her emotional state better too, at least in some small way.
He then allowed in another thought: He was assuming that she was physically better simply because she had stopped waking up with the morning sickness each day. Then he thought on her behavior since the nausea stopped. She did barely get out of bed at all, which might not be only a symptom of depression. After all, the few times he had seen her out of the covers since her second trimester began about two weeks earlier, she still hadn’t noticeably gained any weight at all yet, either.
He found himself seriously wishing Jared was there then, as well. Right now, he could only guess at what her behavior meant and what he should honestly expect of her physical state. But that’s all they were; guesses. He then allowed another slight sigh as he watched her closely as she continued to stay wrapped in the covers, facing away from him, and swallowed a bit as he began to weigh the choice that had begun tapping at his brain since he had let himself start down this mental path.
With another deep breath and a glance outside at the still cooking meat, he turned his eyes back to Lili. As she remained laying there silently, he finally gave in to his own combination of curiosity and even worry. He allowed himself to finally peer into her head, despite his misgivings about using his gift for non-emergencies, but if her health was truly an issue, he convinced himself that that would still qualify as an acceptable excuse.
After another moment, he allowed a slight gasp which he quickly tried to stifle before swallowing again as he tried to put some order to the thoughts that were racing through her head at that moment. He finally decided on a question to try and start with, though he knew any he asked would most likely upset her, considering why he was asking at all.
“You’re having dizzy spells?” he asked worriedly.
His question easily caused her to turn back to him as she pushed herself up to her elbows, “Excuse me?”
“That’s why you don’t wanna get out of bed? You’re getting dizzy spells almost every time you do?”
“What….” her expression then darkened, as she growled her next statement, “Stay out of my head, Kyle!” she ordered angrily.
Kyle then looked down with the slightest trace of guilt before responding to the reaction he had already expected anyway, “Well, you won’t talk to me. How else am I supposed to know if you’re ok?”
“The way the rest of the world does: Wait ’til I tell you if I’m not!” she continued in the same angry tone.
“The rest of the world. That’s pretty funny.” he mumbled, then continued, “And exactly when was that gonna be, Lili? When it gets even worse? I mean, you already think that…” he then forced himself to stop mid-sentence, quickly deciding against telling her of the other thoughts that he did stumble upon inside her overly crowded brain.
“I already think what?” she asked him, her eyes narrowed in a glare towards him.
The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“You want me to tell you what you think?”
“Well you already started, now didn’t you?” she retorted.
“You think there’s something wrong. I got that much, and now I’m asking for the rest.” he gave her the summary of those truly dark thoughts he had already stolen from her brain on his own.
“Everything about this whole fucking life is wrong!” she exclaimed, “Of course that’s all I can think about! And I really don’t need you in here quizzing me about it, ok? So like I said, stay the fuck outta my head!” she repeated angrily.
Kyle sighed sadly, “But if something is wrong, physically, I mean, then I need you to tell me, so I can tell Jared. That was the deal, remember?”
“Jared?” she scoffed.
“Yeah, our doctor. Remember him?” Kyle returned weakly.
“Yeah, I remember him abandoning us, me, two months ago. That’s all I need to remember.” she sniffled again as she curled back down into the covers once more.
“You know it’s not like that…” Kyle attempted, though weakly.
“Do I appear to want to continue this conversation, Kyle?” she shot back.
“Do you really wonder why I had to look inside your head on my own? Really?” Kyle finished in the same defeated tone as he headed back outside once more, his head cast downwards as his own worried thoughts now had the permanent company of Lili’s bleak, if not tragic, fears to compound them that much more.
----------------------------------------
“What the…” was Ian’s first reaction as the two took another cautious step closer to the discovery they had somehow come across amidst their previous conversation that late afternoon.
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Jared agreed as he took a second step forward as well.
There in the clearing before them was what appeared to be what was left of yet another pod, similar to the one they themselves had come to the planet in, though with a few marked differences already obvious from their spot at the edge of the trees.
From what they could tell on first glance, it seemed to be an only slightly less advanced version of their own. It was obviously weather-worn with the finish faded, as if it had been there for years, possibly even decades, judging by the growth of weeds and other plant life surrounding it’s landing gear. And on the side, where their own had had 0728E clearly stenciled upon it, this one wore an almost completely faded 0008E.
“Ok, I know it’s been months, but I’m pretty sure we’re not just really lost, and that’s not actually ours, is it?” Ian stated, already knowing the answer, honestly, as his hand had already moved to one of his guns.
“I think it’s safe to say, we aren’t actually the first people who came here, after all.” Jared breathed his answer as he followed Ian’s next cautious step toward the small craft.
“It looks abandoned, doesn’t it?” Ian asked with forced hopefulness as they moved a few more slow steps closer.
“Seems like…” Jared agreed weakly.
“But?” Ian asked, easily catching the wariness of Jared’s tone.
“Only one way to find out, really, isn’t there?” Jared managed a response.
Ian then took a breath and cleared his throat before speaking up more loudly, “Hello? Anyone in there?” he called out, his hand held up in a gesture for Jared to stay behind him as he took another step. After another moment of receiving no obvious answer, Ian glanced back toward Jared while still staying keenly vigilant, “So, judging by how shocked you also look, I’m guessing this wasn’t featured in any of your freaky vision-fests of late?”
“You could say that, again.” Jared agreed with his own shaky breath.
Ian took another breath, “Ok, I guess we look inside, then?” he asked Jared warily.
“You’re actually asking for my approval?” Jared asked with a bit of surprise, as if it was possible to be any more shocked by the whole of the day, anyway.
“Well, are you getting any freaky ‘impressions,’ or whatever?”
“My visions don’t really work like that.” Jared reminded, though quietly.
“Odd, I thought you said they kept changing.” Ian told him smartly.
Jared just scowled slightly before answering, “I’m freaked out by finding this at all, but I’m pretty sure that would be true, even if I never had any visions of anything, wouldn’t it?” he pointed out.
“So helpful.” Ian grumbled as he took another step.
“Wait.” Jared stated, causing Ian to quickly stop in his tracks.
“Oh so now you are getting freaky impressions?” Ian complained to cover his own worry over that being the actual case.
“No, I wanna take a picture before you break it open.” Jared answered as he began digging for his computer once more.
“Are you fucking serious?” Ian scoffed, “I didn’t realize we were out here for sight-seeing.” he added.
Jared just scoffed as he retrieved the computer, “I meant to send it to Kyle. He is still the tech guy, isn’t he?” Jared reminded as he set up the camera option.
Ian just shook his head, but posed no further argument to the statement as he stepped aside to let Jared aim the camera, “We ready now?” he asked impatiently a moment later, after Jared had snapped a few pictures from different angles.
“I guess.” Jared stated with a deep breath as he tucked the computer into the more easily reachable pocket of his jeans, and came to wait a few feet behind Ian once more.
After nearly twenty minutes of using the tools and strength readily available to them, the door still didn’t seem to want to budge, “It’s fucking rusted shut!” Ian complained in frustration as he tossed away the large stick he had been attempting to use as a crowbar, to no avail.
Jared just sighed heavily as he glanced back down at where Kyle had yet to respond to the pictures he had sent, “Should we keep looking for bigger sticks, or rocks…to open the spacecraft?” he added, allowing a bit of a wry tone to seep through at the irony of the statement.
“Well, we need to get in there!” Ian returned in the same annoyed tone, “Who knows what supplies might be in there? We’ve gotta find out.” he reiterated.
“I don’t know, maybe when Kyle responds, he’ll have a better idea on how to get in?” Jared offered with a slight shrug as he took a resigned seat on a nearby fallen tree.
“Yeah, and Kyle might not even look at the fucking computer ’til tonight, when he expects you to send the map!” Ian pointed out the flaw in the theory.
“You really have a problem with patience, don’t you?” Jared returned, trying not to smirk.
“Patience?” Ian bit out the word like he couldn’t even believe it was leaving his lips, “This right here is the most significant thing we’ve found on this whole goddamn planet, in nearly six months! And you want me to be patient? Are you serious?” he scoffed loudly.
“Well, what other choice do we have, Ian?” Jared sighed slightly, “I can’t get a message to him any sooner than when he looks at his computer, whenever that’ll be. He’s the one who can come knocking at our brains unannounced at all hours, not the other way around.” he reminded.
“We could blow it up?” Ian offered with a lack of seriousness.
“Which I’m sure would really help preserve whatever supplies might be left inside, huh?” Jared pointed out the obvious flaw in the older man’s less than serious suggestion.
Ian sighed heavily once more as he began his pacing yet again. After several moments of him pacing, and Jared shaking his head as he watched the computer screen, Ian finally stopped dead once more.
“Yes?” Jared asked warily as he looked up at Ian.
“How fucking dumb are we?” Ian exclaimed.
“Got an idea, do you?” Jared asked with the same wariness.
“How much do you think that door weighs?” Ian pondered out loud.
“Um, I don’t know. A couple hundred pounds?” Jared shrugged again.
Ian just shook his head down at Jared, who had apparently not followed him completely on his latest train of thought, “And how much did the bear weigh?”
“The who?” Jared asked, a little caught.
“The fucking bear. The one that tried to eat you and Kyle, by the river…before your vision about the ship…any of this sound familiar?”
Jared just scoffed as he moved his eyes downwards with more than a bit of discomfort, “That was different, Ian.” he managed, though barely audibly.
“How?” Ian stated simply.
“Our lives were in danger. The adrenaline alone is probably why I even could….” Jared just shook his head and looked down again as his eyes caught Ian’s look of obvious disapproval.
“So, you’re still being a little pussy about all of this, huh?” Ian retorted bluntly.
“Excuse me?” Jared managed.
“Oh don’t look so fuckin surprised. You’re still doing it. You say you’re so fucking worried about keeping Lili safe, and you still won’t do fuck all to help her, the way you honestly could try to. If only you weren’t such a damn coward about it.”