It’s been a few days since Yuudai revealed his history with Miyu to his clubmates. The crew has been helping Yuudai to avoid Miyu, and distracting her from finding him. Today the Dean has announced a mandatory assembly for the entire school with an appearance by a famous American chef. Now, they find themselves in the gym, hoping they can still avoid Miyu while waiting for the assembly to start.

The club members are all sitting in a row, talking between each other. Yuuri stretches and says, “It’s weird we have a mandatory gathering after school, but at least we’re not missing any classes.”

“I didn’t know America had chefs! My daddy said American cuisine is derivative of other superior culinary nations and inferior in every way.” Kirika proudly states with her hand on her chest.

Yuuri absentmindedly replies, “Of course they have chefs, who do you think cooks their burgers?”

Kansaku taps the microphone to get everyone’s attention. “Students, students, please give me your attention.” He waits for the clamor to die down. “Today we have a special guest brought in! Coming all the way from America, it’s celebrity chef Nutmeg John!”

Music blares through the PA system as the chef walks into the room, the students politely clapping for him as he enters. He takes the microphone from the dean and begins to talk excitedly. “Hey Miyafuji! Are you ready?” The students continue politely clapping. He continues. “Today we’re gonna make some hot Chili Con Carnage! It’s so hot-” The clapping slowly dies down as he realizes nobody in the audience can understand him, the sea of confused faces causing him to reconsider his choice of language.

Kansaku walks over to John and begins to translate for him, causing the audience to get excited. “It’s so hot that it feels like Carnage in your mouth!” Kansaku continues as Nutmeg John does.

The speech continues as Mayumi turns to her clubmates, more excited than the rest. “No fuckin’ way, Nutmeg John? Me an’ my dad crashed at his place when we were in America!” Her friends only return blank looks and quizzical stares. “He’s famous, guys! Never heard of the Eat’m All Meatballs? Or the Triple Under Dutch Burger? Not even the Sitting Pretty Under the Bridge donuts?”

The stares continue, except for Yuudai is holding his stomach. “Man, I really shouldn’t have skipped lunch…”

Kansaku’s intro finally ends with him saying, “So, who’s ready to try and tickle Nutmeg’s taste buds!?” As he does, he removes the cover on a nearby object with a flourish. “Alright, students! We’ve brought in these mobile kitchenettes for you to cook up something that will make the flames on Nutmeg’s shirt really blaze!” The two men chuckle, then continue. “Your ingredients are already set for you, so you only need to worry about cooking!” He pauses for effect, then finishes up “Now, there’ll be a 15 minute break as we determine who will be the club to face the cooking club in this fierce culinary battle!” The students begin murmuring amongst themselves as the Dean and Nutmeg take seats at a nearby table.

Mayumi shoots up out of her seat, and in English yells, “Hay Nutmeg! It’s me, Asuka Mayumi!” She runs down through the crowd to meet him face to face.

Nutmeg seems surprised behind his sunglasses. “Oh, hey! It’s my favorite flame-grilled girl! Are you ready to go on a culinary journey of flame broiling, fire roasting, and extreme eats?”

“Aww fuck yeah I am!” She raises her arms in excitement.

Back in the bleachers, the others are still confused. Yuudai perks up, saying, “Wait! If he only speaks English, then how are we gonna ask him for food?!?”

Yuuri replies, “Well, just ask him in Japanese, but really slowly! He should be able to understand that!”

“Or maybe we could just have Mayumi translate for us, she seems to be- “ Katsuki stops as she realizes Mayumi is waving her hands, calling them down. “Speaking of, Mayumi’s trying to get us to come down there with her, everyone!” She hops down the bleachers and the others follow. “Haalooowww. Myyy naaaaameeee iiiiisssss Kaaat-Sooooo-Kiiiii!” She smiles and gives a bow.

Nutmeg replies “Oh, hey, how ya doin!?” and gives a thumbs up in response, not fully understanding what she said.

Katsuki continues, “So, are you gonna cook for us or just judge the food?” Nutmeg still looks confused before Mayumi begins translating for him.

She relays back his response. “Glad you asked, fiery-headed girl! He’s going to pit two clubs against each other in a cooking contest. And since he knows me, he'll pick us as the other club in the competition!” She then does a double take. “Wait, what? Us? Cooking?”

The members look amongst themselves worriedly, except for Akina who seems confident. “Stay out of my way. I could handle the entire cooking club one-handed.”

Yuuri looks shocked. “It’s not a fight Akina, it’s a cooking competition. You’re not allowed to beat them up!”

Akina looks at Yuuri with a hint of anger in her eyes. “What makes you think I didn’t know that?” Yuuri shrinks away after the glare she gets from Akina.

Nutmeg tries to keep up with the small bits of Japanese he knows, but he gets so engrossed in it that it surprises him when Kansaku taps him on the shoulder and tells him the time is up. John asks him to call the Cooking club over, telling them to get ready to face the Paranormal club. The dean goes to them and calls them over to the center with the Paranormal club. “Okay, if you guys could all line up and face the cameras we need a shot of you all together before we start.”

The two teams line up on either side of Kansaku and Nutmeg, each striking a mildly aggressive pose, save for Akina, who looks ready to cook more than just food.

Just before the competition begins, a teacher rushes up to the stage and whispers into Kansaku’s ear. He takes his microphone and announces “Everyone, there’s a small incident in the Science classroom. Nothing to be worried about! But, I do need to attend to it personally. While I’m gone… umm, Oh! Miss Alcott since you’re fluent in both English and Japanese, could you translate Mr. John’s instructions for the cooking club?”

Cerys grins and gives a thumbs up. Kansaku hesitates for a moment, but not knowing any better options, gives her the microphone and hurries off with the teacher. She hands the mic over to Nutmeg who begins talking again. “Alright, Let’s start our journey to Spiceville with a radical wallop of heat! First will be an appetizer, and both teams will have 30 minutes to set my mouth on fire. Now, let’s get fired up!”

The cooking club president walks over to Cerys and asks, “So, what did he say?”

Cerys holds off her grin as she replies, “Basically, he said to make something traditionally Japanese. And not spicy, he hates spice. We’re making appetizers now, and we got 30 minutes.” The president nods and smiles before thanking her and returning to his team’s side of the battlefield. Cerys hides a chuckle behind her hand before returning to her clubmates’ sides.

Already Mayumi and Akina are bickering over who will take point in the kitchen.

“Ain’t nothin or no one that knows spice better than a gyaru, short bitch!” Mayumi yells directly into Akina’s face.

“He wants it in his food, not in his pants you slutty bitch. And I doubt he wants any of your diseases, either. “Akina cooly responds.

Yuuri raises her hand and meekly says “Hey guys, I know how to cook too, guys…”

Mayumi and Akina turn to her simultaneously, Akina just looking pissed and Mayumi saying “We don’t need to serve him cat food!”

Yuuri slowly lowers her hand, tears beginning to form in her eyes as Cerys gets between the two bickering girls. “Alright, enough you two. Mayumi’s stayed with John in America, so she’d know what he likes best. She’ll be the head chef, you’ll be the secondary chef, and the rest of us help out where we can. Got it?”

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Akina looks at Cerys, then back at Mayumi. “Fine, but if we lose this I’ll cook your ass.”

Mayumi smirks, responding “That’s usually 5,000 yen, but for you I’ll do it for 10,000. Not that we’re losin’ to these losers, anyway.”

The club takes up their places in the kitchen area, as soon as Yuudai arrives at the miniature refrigerator he suddenly perks up and turns to Mayumi. “So, captain, what the hell are we even going to make?”

Kirika stands next to the can opener, suggesting “We could probably make anything and cover it in that spicy red sauce. He should love it!”

Katsuki thinks out loud, “He might be expecting that. We could twist it on him by using wasabi!”

“The kid’s got a point, red.” Mayumi says. “You could probably feed him his own dick covered in siracha and with some bacon on it.”

Katsuki suddenly slams her fist into her hand. “Oh, I know! Wasabi balls! And cover them in hot sauce!”

Mayumi stares at Katsuki for a moment before deciding against asking her how she came up with that. “Nah, we gotta make it more American to really impress Nutmeg. We’ll make one of his favorites, Buffalo Potato Croquettes.”

Yuudai shakes his head. “A potato what? Whatever, just tell me what to do.”

Cerys pops up “I already regret making you lead, Mayumi. You’re too good at eating shitty food.”

Akina says “At least we don’t have to eat it. Whatever.”

Mayumi roots around in the cabinet until she finds some instant mashed potatoes, some hot sauce, some panko and some blue cheese dressing. She flips off the two as she does so. Katsuki asks “So, what do you want us to do? Anything besides making fire puns and doing stupid poses?”

“I'm gonna need someone to boil some water, someone else to get some peanut oil, someone to whisk some eggs and lolibitch to shut the fuck up for the duration of me cooking.” Mayumi finishes putting out the ingredients on the table in the middle of the work area. “Before I fry her face along with the croquettes.”

Cerys smirks and grabs a chair. “I’ll do just that.” Everyone else begins to take their places and helps Mayumi cook, each member taking care of whatever task Mayumi assigns them.

The members quickly work together, gathering ingredients then in turn turning them into what will eventually be the completed dish. Soon, Mayumi is cooking the croquettes with only a little bit of time left on the clock.

As the one minute warning alarm sounds, Mayumi begins plating the food. Yuuri watches her, asking, “How are things looking, Mayumi?”

“Pretty damn good, Vice Prez,” Mayumi replies.

Yuuri drools a little. “When do we get to eat? They smell fantastic!”

Yuudai adds “Yeah, this is making me hungry…”

“So much for me being good at eating shitty food, huh lolibitch?” Mayumi snarks just before the buzzer sounds. Cerys begins to giggle at Mayumi.

Both captains bring their food up to John’s table, where he sits vaping like a maniac. He sets his vape pen down as the food is set before him. First he takes a big bite out of the Paranormal Club’s croquettes, chewing with his mouth open and making an exaggeratedly happy face. After he swallows, he turns to the Cooking club’s cold soban noodles, grabbing them with his bare hand and shoving them in his mouth. He makes a pleasured sound as he chews, soon swallowing.

“Paranormal club, this succeeds on spiciness, but was very predictable. Also the small child didn't seem to do anything. Cooking club, this is so anti-fire that it circles around and becomes fire. My taste buds are refreshed and ready for true spiciness!”

The clubs kind of look at each other in confusion before Cerys facepalms and yells out, “HE SAID THE COOKING CLUB WON.”

“Darnit!” Kirika snaps her fingers as she hears the news.

“That’s some of his favorite stuff, though! How the hell’d we lose?” Mayumi nearly yells at Cerys

“He said it was too predictable, while the Cooking nerds surprised him,” Cerys answers mockingly.

“Well at least I tried,You didn’t do anything lolibitch!” Mayumi snaps back

“You told me not to, tallbitch.” Cerys responds dryly.

Before anything can start up again, Yuuri steps between them. “There’s still two rounds, you two. Let’s bring it back instead of tearing into each other, alright?”

As the kitchenettes are set up for round two, Yuudai gets a text on his phone. “I hope the principal likes my surprise. I got something even better for you, Yuu Yuu <3”.

Yuudai almost drops his phone, sweating bullets. “How the hell did she get my number?” he mutters to himself.

Katsuki notices him being shaken up, and steps over to him and clasps her hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Yuudai? Did you try eating one of those things?”

He jumps again at the contact, quickly grasping his phone and pocketing it. “N-nothing, just nervous f-for the rest of the competition! I th-thought we had that one, darn, haha!” He fakes an angry stomp.

“Well, don’t worry too much, we’ll get them next round, Yuudai! Let’s get back to it!” Katsuki flashes him a smile and returns to her station, the break time almost up.

John rips a huge vape cloud as the buzzer sounds, alerting all the competitors that the next round was about to begin. Cerys goes to join the Cooking Club President in front of John to receive the instructions, but Mayumi pushes her backwards and rushes up. “Alright fiery guys and fiery gals, next up is the main course! Gotta have something filling before a huge desert, so give me something Big, something hot, and somethin’ sticky. Make sure it’s edible, too!” He adds with a laugh, taking another dab from his puffer.

Mayumi turns to the Cooker, then relays the instructions perfectly. Both return to their teams and fill them in. Kirika perks up as she hears it. “Oh! You know what’s spicy? Mustard! And horseradish! How about we mix those together!?” She smiles.

Mayumi ignores the clearly inexperienced rich girl, “He wants something big, hot, and sticky…” She snaps her fingers as an idea comes to her. “Barbecue Katsudon could actually work.”

“Can we cover it in mustard? Or horseradish? Or sriracha? Or maybe them jalapeno peppers that are super hot!”

“Short stuff, I don’t think any of that’s gonna work.” Mayumi says to Kirika.

“Just grab a hunk of meat, throw in it some oil, fry it, and cover it in a sauce and I'm sure he'll love it. It's what Americans eat everyday anyway.” Cerys says while still leaning in her chair.

Yuudai’s phone buzzes again, a small jingle playing to alert him to a new message. He pulls it out to check it quickly, it reads “I’m close enough that I can smell the food! Which dish is yours? I can’t wait to taste your cooking with you alone <3!” He gulps and quickly stashes his phone as the crowd begins to count down to the new round’s true beginning.

Mayumi notices him panicking, trying to decide whether or not to ask him the problem, but decides against it as the horn blares, she quickly grabs the meat and starts molding it into shape.

Kirika starts grabbing random spices and condiments out of the spice cabinet and mixing them into a bowl. By the time anyone notices, she already is mixing them with a hand mixer, little bits flying out of the bowl. They are powerless to stop her from creating her own Kirika sauce, which she offers to Katsuki to taste test. Not wanting to be rude but not without a grimace on her face, she sticks a finger in then tastes it.

“Aww, this is…. Not bad, actually.” Katsuki’s face now shows a more pleasant yet surprised face. She calls Mayumi over, who also tastes it.

“Wow… you somehow managed to make something amazing here, shorty!” She gives Kirika a quick head pat then takes the bowl back to the meat zone, waiting for the meat to finish cooking so she can spread the sauce on it.

“New message, big guy!” Yuudai’s phone lets out, the buzzing in his shorts also indicating a new message. “It sounds so lively in there, maybe I should join in the festivities too! I’ll make a grand entrance to cheer you on, YuuYuu!” A chill goes down his spine as he puts his phone away again and instead focuses on chopping some onions for the side dish.

The main part of the main dish done, they now focus on the complimenting dish. “Where’s the onion Yuudai, I need it yesterday! Can’t have Spicy Onion Rings without the onions!” Mayumi calls out. Yuudai brings over what he has. “Eh, it’s enough. Get your head in the game for the next round, Gachi!” She quickly grabs the onion, dips them in batter, and pours them into a pan, sauteeing them up in a light reddish sauce.

He sits back and watches the others scramble to finish, which they do just before the buzzer. Despite moving less than they have, he’s sweating just as much as they are. “Hey kiddos, it’s time to let me taste victory for round two! Bring your grub to the hub so this schlub can show his love… to the best team!”

As Mayumi and the Cooking Pres begin to bring their food to John’s table, Yuudai gets another text. “I heard you lost the first round, YuuYuu. I can’t believe that! Maybe I should make the next judgement for this two bit hack of a Chef!” He looks up and begins to call out when the lights shut off. It takes him off guard just enough that he chokes on his words.

Through the murmur of the crowd, he suddenly hears a thud, followed shortly by a manly scream of agony. The lights quickly turn back on, just in time for John to fall over with a knife in his back. Miyu stands up from the ground, blood splattered across her face. She grabs the microphone from Nutmeg’s grasp. “Here’s the winner of this round, the YuuYuu club, tee hee~!” A bunch of smoke bombs go off, engulfing the stage in smoke.

Miyu slips on a gas mask and walks to Yuudai. Both club’s members are coughing and gasping for air, one by one falling to their knees, then their stomachs. Yuudai tries to fight it off as best he can, but he too is losing consciousness. The last thing he sees is Miyu standing over him. “How do you like my pass out gas? Made it myself~!”

“Why… every...one…” Yuudai manages to choke out before slipping into darkness himself.