The day after the baseball game, the club is gathered inside the common area of the girls dormitory, after Yuuri and Katsuki called them here. Raidou enters, groaning and complaining. “Why the hell do we have to walk all the way over here to meet up with you guys? Why don’t we just meet somewhere in the middle?” Yuudai nods in agreement as they step over Mayumi, who’s curled up in a ball on the floor.

Yuuri scoffs at the two, “I guess chivalry really is dead.”

Mayumi bolts up after Yuudai brushes her on his way past. “What the fu- oh, it’s you guys. What the hell happened last night?”

Yuuri responds. “Oh, you passed out during the competition, silly. You were trying harder than anyone else.”

Akina grunts. “Yeah, I had to carry you back. Ever heard of a diet?”

Mayumi leaps to her feet, taking offense at Akina’s rude remark. Some of the furniture starts rumbling before she calms herself down.

“W-we took care of you though, Mayumi-senpai!” Kirika stammers out, preparing to dodge chairs and tables.

Akina turns towards Katsuki. “President, will we do stuff like that again?”

Katsuki sighs. “I hope not, but if that much weirdness is the norm around here...” Katsuki looks to Mayumi, hoping for a reply.

“D-don’t worry, Senpai got weird too.” Kirika tries to defuse the situation further. Yuuri ignores this.

Mayumi perks up. “Like, cat pun weird?”

“Well, if I tell you will you promise not to make anything of it, Asuka?” Yuuri hides her face after saying that.

Katsuki interrupts her. “It was a hairy situation. It was a real catastrophe, but Yuuri really dug her claws into the problem and now she's feeling feline.”

“Next person to make a cat pun gets punched into next week,” Yuudai grumbles.

Cerys looks stone faced at Yuudai. “If you’re gonna start punching people, start with the vice president in retaliation for those awful puns.” She then grins mischievously, leaving Yuudai unable to tell if she’s joking or not.

Yuuri bolts straight up. “W-what? M-me? Why punch me?”

“I want to see your cat thing again. That was funny to me.” Cerys keeps her smirk up.

Mayumi turns her head towards Cerys. “Wait, cat thing? What the fuck happened while I was out?”

Kirika speaks up adamantly, “Nothing happened! She just got too into cheerleading!”

Yuuri grabs a book and hides her face with it. “Ex-exactly! T-there is no cat thing! I don’t know w-what you’re all talking about!”

“You’re bullshitting but I don’t about what, because this whole thing sounds like bullshit.” Mayumi scoffs.

Cerys appears behind Yuuri with a muffled cracking noise and starts patting around her head. “Tell me, how do you hide those ears, huh?”

Yuuri turns around and swats at Cerys, who snaps away with a ghostly chuckle. “I did not give you permission to touch me!”

Mayumi laughs to herself, then makes a cat paw gesture towards Yuuri. “Mrow, vice prez. Someone got pet the wrong way~.” She ignores the glare from Yuudai with another chuckle, then does a dismissive hand wave. “Anyway, who knocked me the fuck out?”

Yuudai speaks up. “You did, asshole. We got down to the field after the game to celebrate the victory with you guys, I was tossing you in the air when you threw your bra on my face. I couldn’t see you, so you fell on your face so hard Kirika thought we’d have to call an ambulance!”

Kirika protests. “Nuuh-uuuh, Mayumi-senpai! Yuudai did it on purpose, he made you hurt yourself on purpose!” She stands up and points at him.

“Oh, it was the beefcake motherfucker. Always knew he was a switch hitter.” Mayumi has her hand on her chin in the classic thinking pose

Akina asks out loud, “So, does vice prez go cat every time she gets punched hard enough?”

Yuudai grumbles in the background at the continuation of the of the other topic, but Yuuri sighs and finally decides to come clean. “...I don’t know what lets the cat out of the bag, Gedou.” Yuudai groans loudly at yet another cat pun. Yuuri pouts in her chair. “It’s all strange to me, I can’t control it…”

Katsuki butts in with, “Why control it? I think it’s cool.” Yuuri tosses her book at Katsuki after hearing her say that. The book hits with a soft thud and a loud yelp of pain comes from Katsuki.

Yuuri shakes her head. “Absolutely not! I'm fine with the ears and the tail, but the separate personality is nothing like me!”

Kirika frowns watching the book hit Katsuki. “Senpai no! If you do that then you’re no better than that big brute over there,” she says, pointing to Yuudai again.

Yuudai stands up clearly tired of the nonsense Kirika is spewing. “If you’re going to tell someone what happened at least tell the truth!” Kirika cowers at the anger in his voice.

Mayumi stands up and matches Yuudai’s tone to get him off of Kirika’s case. “If you want the truth to be told, stop shouting and tell it boy.” she stares him down not fazed at all by his anger

“Did those pills kill your hearing?” Yuudai spits out at her. “I said you blinded me and I couldn’t catch you.”

Mayumi takes a deep breath trying to bring the tension down “Gotta be more to the story than that,” she says, her face still fairly serious “Even though you have a really punchable face.”

Katsuki looks at the ceiling and puts a finger to her lips. “As I remember it, it was you who jumped on him first, Mayumi.”

“Well I don’t remember any of this, which is why we’re having this talk, Pres.” Mayumi says, clearly tired of the back and forth.

Yuudai clicks his tongue. “Whatever. You did this to yourself, if you’re looking to try and shift the blame onto someone else then I’m sorry for you.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Mayumi scoffs. “Whatever. It was probably your first time touching a bra anyway cherry boy.”

Yuudai tenses up and glares at her before letting out a sigh, shaking his head, and sitting back down.

Silence then washes over the room as the two decline to argue any further, only Raidou’s loud snoring is audible. He shifts slightly, turning to face the wall. The magazine he was reading slips off his face and onto the floor, revealing its contents, ”MY ENCOUNTER WITH A SEX DEMON IN THE ARCADE.”

Kirika breaks the silence, walking to Mayumi’s side. “D-don’t worry Senpai! You certainly didn’t deserve any of that!” She blinks, then continues “I-I think, I was distracted by s-senpai…”

“If he put me on my ass, I probably did. You don't hit a lady but you make sure to beat a bitch.” She cracks her neck “Had to beat a few myself.”

Akina is the next to speak up from her chair, “Yuudai, next time you need to beat up a druggie, let me know. I can do it better than you.”

Yuudai turns to Akina and raises his voice “Would you get off my case with this shit already?!”

Mayumi says, “Just weird that you’re talking shit about me throwing my bra at you when usually men pay me for that. I feel like I’m owed something.” She smirks as she says the last bit.

“No, you really should shut up. Both of you. Are you insane? Still going on about this dumb shit?” Cerys nearly shouts at the two, her ears ringing from the incessant yelling.

“Pretty sure you have to be insane to be in this club!” Katsuki proudly states.

Mayumi, still grinning, responds. “Of course the occult-obsessed conspiracy theorist girl loves the insane.”

Akina drops her pen and notebook and begins stretching her limbs. “Anyway, sitting here listening to everyone bitch at each other is boring. We should go bitch at each other around the conbini or something. Anywhere but here-”

The PA speaker screeches to life, fading to a low hiss after a minute.” The sudden eruption of sound causes Raidou to jump from his chair, crashing to the ground in a rude awakening. “Arrrgh, fucking shit! Fuckin’ shitty shithole of a school!”

Finally, the noise clears out and a voice comes through. “This is Kensaku Numata, formerly the Math teacher. Due to the circumstances of yesterday's baseball game, Dr. Ryouhei Mikami has been put on administrative leave. As we are still dealing with the incident, I am now the acting Dean. On lighter news, since is the middle of the week it's time to post the popularity polls and merchandising deals. The Student Council will update you all with this information shortly.”

Raidou is the first to yell once again. “Aw fuck, Numata’s in charge? What shit news to wake up to.”

Yuuri suddenly realizes what was said and turns to her clubmates. “W-wait, why would the Dean be put on leave?”

Mayumi laughs. “Probably tried to get frisky with one of the cheerleaders.”

Yuudai chuckles, “Actually, you’re on the wrong side of the field, Mayumi.” Before giving her a chance to respond, he continues. “I caught him rigging and betting on the baseball games.”

Cerys responds with mild surprise. “What, you? By yourself?”

Yuudai’s smile fades as he realizes his mistake, “No, Raidou, Saito, and... the Drama kid were with me. We ended up getting the police to arrest him for it.”

Cerys giggles, “If I didn’t know you, I’d be mildly impressed.”

Yuuri is just as surprised as Cerys. “Saito? He helped too? What did you do Sait-” She looks around the room, only to realize Saito hasn’t been there the whole time. “W-where did he go? He didn’t get hurt, did he?”

Raidou rubs his temples. “Nah, he texted me that he’d be busy today, and he’d catch up later. Dunno what that’s about.”

Yuudai resumes. “None of us got hurt, either. It was a little tense, but we got video of him confessing to it and showed it to the cops. Nothing he could do about it.”

Akina leans back in her chair. “Standard procedure, fire the guy on top and then pretend everything is fine now.”

Mayumi rolls her eyes as she puts a cigarette in her mouth. “Man, looks like everyone in this school is a crazy fuck, not just the students.”

Yuuri leaps from her seat with cat-like reflexes and knocks the cigarette out of Mayumi’s mouth. “Hey, No smoking in the dorm! It’s not good for you! Or us! Or anyone!”

Kirika turns to the two, “Yeah, t-tell her Senpai! We need to care about her health! … and the others too!”

Mayumi sighs as she leans down to pick it up. “Fine, fine.”

A different voice pops over the PA system this time. “Hi everyone, it’s Socho-nee of the Student Council. I'm sure all of you are still stressed out from the previous announcement, but there is some good news! We have the results of popularity!” A party popper can be heard exploding over the intercom. “Coming in at number one is the sassy, salacious, Drama Club! Coming in at number two are the spooky, scary Paranormal Club! And rounding out the top three is the good old Racing Club!! Next up is merchandising, which I'll hand over to Komoku over here.”

The sound of chairs ruffling is transported over the mic as Kirika asks her clubmates, “Merchandise? We have merchandise?” She thinks for a moment, then continues “I wonder what kind…. I hope they sell figurines of senpai!”

Raidou gets to his feet, finally smiling “Hey, maybe they have a badass jacket with my mug on ‘em!”

Yuuri waves her hand. “No way, I bet Akiyama is the most popular of all of us.”

Yuudai grunts. “Me? The most popular? Pffft.”

“That shrimp? As if.” Raidou stands and begins to flex and pose. “If you want the champion of the club, then look no further. I even put a man in jail.”

Yuudai stands and begins to pose as well. “You couldn’t beat me even on your best day.” Yuudai grins clearly thinking he is the better one.

Akina stands up and quickly unbuttons the bottom half of her top and pulls it open, showing off her rock-hard abs. Without even a grin she simply states, “I could beat the both of you easily.” She glares at the two without a hint of humor.

Raidou scoffs. “Good thing I don’t fight girls.” He points his thumb towards Yuudai. “I’ll leave that to this guy over here.”

Yuudai is immediately taken aback, yelling out “HEY! I thought you were on my side! I didn’t do anything! She fell and hit her head, that’s all!”

Kirika brings the conversation back to the PA’s announcement. “I-I wonder if they made anything with me on it? Like a postcard!”

Mayumi puts another cigarette in her mouth. “They probably made ridiculous stuff with my picture on it for lonely guys to cuddle at night.”

Yuuri turns to Mayumi, saying, “I don’t think that’s legal to do that to high schoolers, Asuka. And didn’t I tell you not to smoke?” Yuuri grabs this one and keeps it much to the chagrin of Mayumi.

Katsuki chimes back in, “Actually it is! We had to sign merchandising deals during the application process!”

The wonderment doesn’t last much longer, as the PA sparks back to life. Komuko comes back on, and starts to list off the items bearing everyone’s likeness. Kirika listens excitedly at first, but as Komuko goes the list and the items become more and more unsavory, her face falls more and more. By the time the list finishes with Mayumi’s semi-legal items, Kirka is visibly shaken.

“I-I-It’s in th-the contract, w-we g-grant the sc-sc-school the right to u-use our … our… “ Kirika tries to finish while holding back tears. “Our likenesses.”

Mayumi pats Kirika’s head. “Don’t worry, ain’t nobody gonna put your mug on anything worse than a postcard.”

Kirika calms down a little and smiles, “T-thank you, Senpai…”

She’s cut off by the PA system finishing it’s duty for the day, transmitting Komuko’s voice one last time. “Finally, would the Paranormal Club please report to the Dean's office? Thank you. That’s all for today’s announcements, have a good day!”

Yuudai immediately gets up, grumbling as he grabs his jacket. “Alright, now that we’re all disturbed by whatever they put our pictures on, can we get going?”

Yuuri agrees, but adds “He probably wants to interrogate us about what you did to the last Dean.” She frowns as she rises from her seat. “It’s been such a stressful week, we need to do something to unwind.” She collects her own jacket and gets ready to head out when she suddenly perks up with an idea. “Hey, everyone, how about we go to the beach once we’re done with the Dean? It’s the end of the week, so we can stay as long as we want!”

The others look at each other and talk a bit, then excitedly all respond positively. Mayumi chips in, “It’ll finally give me a chance to wear that bikini that’ll get the broadcast in trouble.” She grins, then her face falls a bit as she realizes “...and be part of the next round of merch.” She says this with a hint of bitterness.

The club members all get up and gather their jackets and personal items, then prepare to leave the room. They all proceed towards the acting Dean’s office.