It’s a warm spring afternoon in Japan, the new school year has begun and the classes have just ended. As the bell rings, the students empty into the halls and begin looking for their clubrooms for the first meetings of the year. Two girls in their bright orange school uniforms head down the school halls, beaming with confidence and looking forward to their after school plans.
Katsuki Kusaka, a messy red haired 2nd year girl, has a broad grin across her face as excitement fills her chest. She has finally achieved her dream of establishing a paranormal club, just like her mom had when she was in high school. It would be the kind of club that would focus on investigating paranormal events and the supernatural. She finally reaches the classroom door, where she finds her childhood friend Yuuri Sayamura. Katsuki gives her friend a confident look before swinging the door open.
Excited to see their new members, Katsuki proudly exclaims, “Welcome to the Paranormal club!” To her dismay, the students within don’t seem very into it. A group of mismatched uniforms and disinterested faces litter the room.
Yuuri smiles and steps in front of the stunned Katsuki, “Yes, welcome! I believe it’s time we got introductions out of the way!”
A girl wearing a green uniform jumps out of her chair and speaks up first. “Hii~ I’m Yui and I’m super excited to join the Baking club! Let’s make the tastiest cookies!”
Katsuki looks at her with a questioning expression, her finger under her chin. “Uh, this is a different club…”
Yuuri elbows Katsuki gently and whispers in her ear, “Katsuki, she counts as a roster member though, at least for the day. Let’s accept it and move on, okay?”
Katsuki nods, then motions towards the next member, a petite girl with curly hair. She’s slightly shaking, but has a small smile on her face. “H-Hello! I am Kirika K-Komori, of the Komori clan! I-I'm a... good girl from Kamikawa! P-Please take care of me... Senpai!” She shoots up and bows towards Yuuri. Yuuri waves with a gentle smile, causing Kirika to smile bigger as she sits down. As she does squeaking can be heard coming from her pocket, she pats the pocket and the squeaking ceases.
The two then turn towards a blond guy in headphones and a plain t-shirt with jeans. He’s leaning back in a chair and seems to have something hanging off his back. He offers a weak handwave. “Wassup, I’m Saito Naoyuki. Don’t expect me to do much work.” He then puts his hands behind his head and turns his attention back to his music.
Katsuki goes to ask him what he’s carrying, but decides it would be in her best interest to just ignore it for now. She looks towards Yuuri and they each give each other a shrug, before moving on to the next girl who is a prim redhead with a irritated demeanor. She bows politely, but then sneers at the two.
“I am Cerys Alcott,” she says with a noticeable accent. “I’m from Britain and I guess I’ll be with you all this year.” She sits back down and glares at the two.
Yui looks up in confusion. “What’s a Britain? Can I bake one?”
Yuuri perks up in interest, “Oh? Did you just come to Japan this year?”
Cerys rolls her eyes as she turns her head away from Yuuri. She grumbles out, “Yes, my father works in Japan now. He is friends with the English teacher at this school so she recommended that I join this club for whatever reason.”
Yuuri clasps her hands together and smiles. “Well, we certainly hope you don't regret your decision!”
A very tall white haired boy stands up from his seat, a big smile on his face. “Hey, I’m Yuudai Akiyama. I kinda arrived late and all the other clubs were full!” He says this in a way as if to imply this is a good thing. “So, I joined this one as a last resort! I hope it will be interesting!”
Katsuki resists the urge to turn around and walk out of the room, instead trying to fake a smile herself. “Well, no matter how you joined, I’m glad you all did. We can always use more members…at least until the budget clamps down on us.”
She looks around the room one more time quickly spotting someone she somehow missed. She sighs and droops her shoulders as she realizes it’s just another girl sleeping in the back. “Hey, anyone feel like waking up the drifter in the back? She looks pretty rough.”
Yui pops up with her hand raised, yelling, “I’ll do it!” She whips around and moves behind the sleeping girl, pulling out a stun gun. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead!,” she says as she attempts to taze the girl awake. As she leans in, though, the gyaru snores in her sleep, surprising Yui and causing her to fall over flat on her face.
Katsuki can’t help but start laughing hard, a few other chuckles joining in with her until Yuuri elbows Katsuki in the side and glares at the rest. She shakes her head as she goes to help Yui up quietly asking her if she was okay. Yui is beet red, quickly returning to her seat and hiding her face in her palms. “I’m so embarrassed…” she mutters as she leans forward.
Kirika looks around very nervously, glancing between the different people, she squeals slightly then speaks up, “P-please… Please don’t fight!” This causes the laughing to cease and everyone to look around in confusion as they wonder what fight she’s referring to.
Yuuri breaks the silence with a warm smile and a few pats on Yui’s back. “Now, now, Yui. We don’t have to solve everything with violence! We should gently wake this tired-looking girl up!”
Yui is able to look up at Yuuri’s warm smile, crying slightly. “Uu… please forgive me, Vice-President…”
Yuuri pats Yui on the head in forgiveness before stepping away to nudge the sleeping girl’s shoulder. “Miss, you should please wa-”
The gyaru suddenly shoots up, her chest heaving as she does, while a nearby chair inexplicably catches on fire. “YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, BULL!" she yells in shock.
Yuuri stumbles backward, barely catching her balance. “O-Oh, hello there sleepyhead!" she says as she regains her composure.
Katsuki and Yui, almost simultaneously, scream after seeing the burning chair. “Oh no, the school’s on fire!” Yui yells, followed by Katsuki yelling, “Someone, quick, put that out!” Yui can do nothing but pray to the heavens while Yuudai quickly jumps to the rescue, stripping off his jacket to try and smother the fire with it. He successfully puts the fire out, but his uniform is slightly scorched around the collar.
The blonde haired girl looks around the room, still half asleep until she realizes others are present. She takes a breath, turns to the crowd, and questions, “...Why are there people in here? I thought this club room was abandoned.” She looks over at the burning chair and Yuudai wrestling it, then looks back at the group.
“This is the room for our club meeting, silly!” Kirika says with a smile.
“The what?,” the blonde says as she ruffles her hair and checks her pockets. “I don’t have any stuff on me, if that’s what you’re wanting.”.
“Stuff? Wanting?” Yui looks confusedly at her.
Kirika brushes the comments aside and replies, “The paranormal club, of course! And the only ‘stuff’ we’re ‘wanting’ is more members!” There’s a gleam in her eye as she finishes talking.
The gyaru just stares dumbly at the overly-cheery long-eared girl. “Paranormal? You mean like nerds playing RPGs and trying to summon demons and shit?”
Katsuki scowls slightly “No, that’s actually the tabletop club you rude bitch.”
The blonde girl slowly rises from her chair and trudges across the room until she’s directly in Katsuki’s face. “Who the fuck are you, dorkass?,” she says while staring directly in Katsuki’s eyes.
Yui pops up and says “H-hey, don’t use mean words like that, you two!”
Kirika pops up behind her and adds in, “Y-yeah, also please no fighting!!”
Yuuri pops up next to them, putting her hands up. “H-hey, let me handle this, Katsuki!”
Katsuki ignores Yuuri and leans into the girl. “I’m the president of this club, and it’s way too early in the school year to be dealing with your attitude right now.”
Yuuri firmly clasps Katsuki on the shoulder. “That’s why I said I’d take care of it, Katsuki.” Her expression becomes firm as she continues. “Nobody wants a grumpy Katsuki, riiight?”
As the three bicker, Cerys grimaces at the trio. “The Japanese are so unruly,” she says in a droll tone. The rude girl whips around, almost smacking the other two with her hair, and yells in her best English something obscene-sounding, assisted by a upturned middle finger. Cerys barely reacts at the fuming gyaru, simply remaining unamused at the display in front of her.
While the gyaru is distracted, Saito slides in and tries to calm the other two down. “Yo, prez and vice, no need to get worked up like that.”
Yuuri takes a breath, then turns to Katsuki and helps calm her down. “Katsuki, please just breathe, we have the situation under control”. She then turns back to the angry girl’s back and loudly yet politely says, “A-Anyway, miss, I am Yuuri Sayamura, the Vice President of this club. Here at the Paranormal Club we plan to do many things like discuss and learn more about supernatural oddities. What is your name, if I may ask?”
The gyaru turns and flips her hair back. “Mayumi Asuka.” She then stares right at Yuuri, and with a smug grin says, “You nerds do realize the supernatural doesn’t exist, right? It’s all some mass hysteria bullshit. Just people getting crazy like they did PCP or something.”
Yuuri keeps her smile despite the insults, she instead cheerily retorts, “O-Oh, how peculiar! Do you have any proof that there are no supernatural lifeforms out there?”
Mayumi huffs, “Well, there’s more evidence that there isn’t than evidence that there is. Like UFOs and shit? Swamp gas and low flying planes.” She rolls her eyes. “Kuchisake onna? That crazy slasher bitch who got copycats.”
Katsuki is clearly more irritated but keeps her calm enough to respond, “Have you ever witnessed any swamp gas looking like ghosts, or do you just believe everything the government tells you? Don't forget they went bankrupt by trying to force inflation.” Her voice gets more intense, “And they tried to fix it with the whole high school reality show bullshit!"
As the three stare each other down, Kirika speaks up, saying, “She’s right! Daddy says that there are things in the world we can't understand.”
Mayumi keeps her glare on Katsuki and blurts out, “Yeah, that’s because people are dumb as a whole.”
Yuudai puts his finger to his chin, thinking out loud. “I never thought about the government lying to us. Do you think they’d really do that?”
Mayumi looks at Yuudai, then turns smugly at Katsuki. Katsuki growls a little, then says, “People are dumb yes, that's one way to look at it, but who are you to determine what's true or not? There's conspiracies all around us. Paranormal things happen all the time. Like that chair catching on fire when you woke up. How do you explain that?”
Mayumi scoffs. “I didn’t set anything on fire… not today, at least.”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Katsuki points back at the charred chair. “Then explain that. There was nobody around it, we were all up here, Yuuri was waking you up, and you were asleep. As soon as you shot up, the flames began. And Yuuri has nothing to set anything on fire, right?”
Yuuri turns the pockets of her uniform inside out, showing that she has no lighters or matches on her. “Nope, I wouldn’t need anything like that!”
Katsuki continues, “There. See? None of us could have done that. None of us can explain it. It’s paranormal, isn’t it?” She takes a breath. “Also the other clubs are full of dumb people like you said.”
Mayumi has a slight look of confusion, looking between the club members and the chair, obviously curious and trying to find an answer. Suddenly, given the break in Mayumi’s hostility, Kirika squeeks, “Excuse me Miss, why are you in our clubroom if you aren't a member?”
The gyaru ruffles her hair. "...Probably because I was doing delinquent things. I honestly don’t remember the last few hours."
Yui pipes up, “You really shouldn’t do too many of those wicked poisons! They can send you to the bad place!”
Kirika adds in, “They’re bad for your body and soul! If you don’t explain yourself, I’ll have to report you to a teacher, for your own sake!”
“I’ve been doing these things in this room for a year now. If they didn’t get me now, they won’t.” Mayumi says cocksure.
Cerys narrows her eyes with a dismissive grunt. “I'm glad you aren't going to be a member, I'd hate to be part of a club with a Japanese druggie like you.”
Mayumi looks around, ignoring Cerys. “Who’s this sassy little bitch, and would someone stop me if I punched her in the face?”
Yuuri steps in front of Mayumi again. “I thought I said to tone down the violence.” The agitation on her face is more visible now.
Saito and Yuudai look at each other, rise from their chairs, and slowly back away towards the door.
“Look. I was calm when I was unconscious. Now I’m not. Cause and effect. As far as I’m concerned, you brought this on yourself. Now, if you’ll excuse m-”
She’s cut off by the PA system crackling to life with a loud screech of feedback. “Hello everyone, I hope you've all had some time to get to know each other. The time is now 5PM and all students that are not currently in a club will be free game for the other clubs starting after the first class tomorrow. And as always, smile for the cameras!"
“Cameras?” Saito asks. “Are we being monitored or something? Dude, that sucks.”
“Cameras,” Mayumi says. “Like in the locker rooms. Or the restrooms. Or everywhere else you don’t want them.” She lets out a small laugh, her voice betraying that it’s not a joke.
Yuuri smirks at Mayumi. “See? Looks like you’re forced to join our club, missy. Unless you want to be ‘free game’.”
Yui puts her hands to her cheeks. “F-free game? What do you think that means? D-does it mean people will get hurt? S-so scary… I’m glad I’m p-part of this club, a-at least!”
Mayumi scoffs. “Eh, I’m already part of a club. The Fakk Yuu club, president and founding member.”
Kirika says, “Please be reasonable, Mayumi-senpai! T-the school wouldn’t count that as a club, it has profanity in the name! If we leave you alone you'll just be abused and hurt! Please, let us help you.”
Mayumi chuckles. “Kid, I pick fights with useless Yakuza punks and dealers. Getting abused and hurt is basically what I do.” She looks at Kirika, but the concerned look on Kirika’s face is enough to melt Mayumi’s resistance away. With a sigh, Mayumi says, “But fine, I'll join your dumb club. If only to debunk every half assed bit of cracked out bullshit you go into."
Yuuri returns her face to a more relaxed smile. “I’m glad, welcome to the club Miss Asuka! You’ll add an interesting flair to our club, for sure.”
Katsuki stands up and pulls out a sheet of paper. "Well now that we finally have everyone settled in, somewhat, the first order of business is securing funding. Since this is a new school year, all the clubs start with no budget, and we'll have to get it somehow. I know the Anime and Manga club is trying a fundraiser or something, I saw them planning it while filling out the paperwork. An option is to just beat them up and take the money."
Mayumi perks up. “Oh, we need money? Well, I know a few guys…”
Kirika says, “T-thank you for the offers, b-but I don’t want money made that way…”
Yuudai adds on “Yeah, I’m sure we can do better than just mugging people.”
Saito speaks up. “Well, there’s only two options, obviously. Either one of us is rich and pays for the club, or we borrow from the other clubs.”
The PA system screeches one more time. “Oh, before we forget, NO OUTSIDE FUNDING. Good luck, students!”
Yuuri turns to Saito, saying, “Well, I guess that first idea doesn’t work anymore.”
Kirika turns to Yuuri. “Senpai, you have an idea, right?”
Yuuri fidgets slightly. “Well…”
Saito perks up slightly. “It's like the school is trying to set everyone against each other for the money.”
Cerys’ head droops. “Congrats, you've solved the mystery. It's not like that’s the whole point of this school or anything.” She looks back up with a sneer and speaks in a deadpan tone. “Let’s just sell videos of ourselves talking about paranormal things. Or finding mysteries. That's easy enough.”
Yuuri ponders the suggestion, then gives a small shrug. “Well, we aren’t actually sure what counts as ‘outside funding’. It’s not a bad idea, so please hold on for a second.”
The PA system bursts back into life for the third time. "GIVE ME THAT YOU IDIOT. Dang it Gomezu you moron how are they supposed to know what they are supposed to be doing?! ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS, this is Jikoku of the student council. Since SOMEONE couldn’t do it, we need to clarify what ‘outside funding’ means. Fair game for funding includes: other clubs, the student council, the teachers, and the faculty. BUT DON'T YOU EVEN DARE, ask anyone not related to the school. You better secure the bare minimum before the club signup deadline."
Saito reclines. “We can’t even ask outside sources at all? Maaan, that sucks, I wanted to chill out and talk about ghosts, not fight the other clubs so we can get money.”
Yuudai turns to him and says, “Dude, I know. And look around, it’s like we’re the only guys in this club.”
Saito turns his head. “It’s not ‘like’, we ARE the only guys here. You'd think paranormal events would draw in more dudes.” He shrugs. “They probably all went sports or something.”
Yuudai sighs. “I can’t believe I had the wrong day for club sign-ups, I was really wanting to join the baseball team. This was the only club with slots left open I was interested in.”
Yuuri continues to ponder, but then her eyes light up as if she had an idea. “Hey, Katsuki, isn’t what the otakus are doing with their fundraiser outside funding? How about we go beat up those cheaters!”
Katsuki says, “They’re probably selling their collections to the other clubs. It’s legal to get money from other students.”
Yui gulps. “I-isn’t that… stealing, Yuuri? That’s wrong!”
Kirika tries to diffuse the situation another way, saying “How do we know they'd have enough money if we don't have enough money? We can’t beat them up if they don’t have money, right?”
Yuuri thinks for a second, then sighs. “Well, you all make good points here. Are we going to assume the other clubs have already started making a decent amount of money? We wouldn't want to waste our time speaking with a club that doesn't have a single cent on them.”
Saito snaps his fingers. “Yo, what even are the other clubs? There’s a music club, right?”
Katsuki pulls out another piece of paper with a list of all the club names on it. "There's Baseball, Tabletop, Video Games, Drama, Cooking, Anime and Manga, Racing, and us. So no, no Music club.”
Saito sighs. “Oh man, no music club? That’s lame.”
Katsuki ignores him and continues speaking, “Considering that we only know about Anime and Manga club’s fundraising, they seem like the best to rough up."
Kirika looks lost, trying to figure out something. “How can they fundraise if there's no money...?”
Yui fidgets nervously. “C-can we please not do any stealing? I honestly don’t know if my heart could take it.”
Yuuri chuckles. “Okay, hold on a second. We’re not going to steal anything unless we desperately have to, okay Yui?”
Before Yui can respond, Katsuki does. “Look, we have no money, and no other way of getting money. We need it by the deadline.” She stares at Yuuri. “We desperately have to.”
It’s Yuuri’s turn to fidget, trying to think of anything else. Mayumi gets a chuckle out of this and smirks at Yuuri. Finally, she gives up. “Fine, then we should probably take a few consoles from the Video Games club and sell those.”
Katsuki pats Yuuri on the back while Yui starts to sob into her elbow. “That’s the spirit!” She then turns towards the door. “By the way, by WE I mean YOU, I have to go fully register our club and deal with the mountains of paperwork. Report back to me by the end of the day, but until then you are in charge. Good luck!” She then walks out the door with a wave.
Saito tries to stop her, yelling, “Dude, prez, wait! I don’t want to do any of the work!” She ignores him, and he drops his shoulders in failure.
Yuuri pouts and waves off Katsuki. She sighs and turns to her clubmates. She tries to put on a cheery face, and says, “W-well, looks like I’ll be in charge here for the moment.”
Kirika raises her hand. “Hey Senpai, what if we give tarot card readings? And charge by the minute?”
Yuuri ponders it. “Well, Miss Komori, how do you plan on doing the Tarot Card reading? Are we gonna charge the faculty or other students? I don’t think the members of the other clubs would be willing to give us their money.”
Kirika thinks for a moment. “Well… what if we have a really good sign?”
Yuuri sighs. “Does anyone even know how to read those cards? Do we even HAVE a tarot set?”
Kirika shakes lightly. “I-I have some of them.. a-and I can kinda read them…”
Saito pipes up with, “Well, we could just ask the teachers. I’d rather have someone play teacher’s pet for a while than to have to beat someone up myself.”
Suddenly there’s a rustle in Kirika’s jacket pocket. A wing pops out, followed by another, and then a full-fledged bat. “Ah, Kokoro!” The bat flutters around her squeaking happily. She grabs the bat and holds it in her hands. “What if I have my bat do tricks? I’ve trained it very well!”
Yuuri jumps back at the sight of the bat, which is giving her goosebumps. “W-well, I’m sure we could get a set of cards easily! We even have a bit of time before the teachers head home, we can ask them if they could use a fortune telling!” She looks happy for a moment, then suddenly yells, “Aw shoot!,” as she snaps her fingers. “I forgot to ask how much money we needed.”
Yuuri tries to look through the paperwork Katsuki left behind to see the amount they need. Yui gasps and runs over to Kirika, asking to play with her bat. “Awww, it’s so cute! You said it’s name was Kokoro?” Kirika nods and smiles, but Kokoro looks slightly worried. “Oh, I’m not going to hurt you, little guy!” She reaches her hand out slowly, finally reaching the bat. Kokoro’s nervous, but allows her to touch him, but then lets out a coo and a smile as he’s petted. Yui also coos and smiles.
Yuuri then turns around holding a paper. “Ah, it says here we need 2500 Yen.” She counts on her fingers “We have around 6 teachers, so if we ask each for 500 yen, we’d only need 5 of them to take us up on it. I think that sounds fair!”
Yui asks, “Oh, should we split up then?”
Yuuri goes to respond, but before she can, Saito blurts out, “Dude, uh, really? That’s ALL we need is 2500 yen?”
Yuuri responds sternly with, “Mister Naoyuki please, you can call me Vice-President or Rii. But, yes. We only have 1 day to reach this amount, of course it isn’t much of a hassle.”
Saito puts his hands behind his head in a relaxed pose. “Sure, man. As long as it’s that easy.”
Yuuri smiles at him, barely hiding her annoyance this time around. She distracts herself by instead counting up the members in the room. “Well, there’s six of us, so we can split into two groups of three and ask three teachers each.”
Mayumi rubs her runny nose. “I call the History teacher. He’s got a thing for blondes.”
Yuuri says, “Oh, you know how to read fortunes, Mayumi?”
Mayumi chuckles. “Fortune telling is just playing on people's need to have patterns in their lives. Just bullshit something and draw some cards. Just another paranormal thing that doesn’t exist.”
Yuuri barely contains her anger, but she somehow conceals it well enough that nobody notices. “Er... Okay, we'll have Miss Komori and Miss Asuka do the readings.”
Yui turns around with excitement. “Oh, let me go with Mayumi! Maybe if I do she'll teach me how to read tarot cards!”
Yuuri says, “Well, if you think so. In that case, Saito and I will go with Kirika, Cerys and Yui can go with Mayumi.”
Yui grabs Mayumi’s hands and says, “Let’s do our best, Mayumi!”
Yuuri asks Mayumi, “Well, Miss Asuka, you already claimed Mr. Saruta, but is their anyone else you want to go ask?”
Mayumi thinks for a moment, then says, “I'll ask Sacchin. She’s pretty chill and bad with money.”
Cerys is somewhat surprised. “You’re close enough to the english teacher to give her a nickname?”
“Of course,” Mayumi says. "Haau duu yuu fink ei knou engrish werr enough to caru yuu a beech?"
Cerys fumes at Mayumi but before she can say anything Yui steps between the two. “Hey, no fighting, we have work to do!,” she says with her arms crossed.
Cerys thinks for a second and then sighs. “The over excited girl has a point, let’s try to get along.” Yui jumps for joy at what she hopes is a budding friendship.
Yuuri says, “Okay, then! That leaves us with Ms. Mizuno, Mr. Numata, and Mr. Itawashi, and you guys can get Ms. Tokidi as well.”
Yuuri looks around the group again, suddenly spotting Yuudai. “Oh Mr. Akiyama! I forgot you were here, you can come with our group.”
Yuudai sighs. “If I must.”
Yuuri turns to the other group. "I'm trusting you all with this okay? If you can't get the money it shouldn't be a big deal though, just report back here before curfew so I can think of a back up plan."
Saito heads towards the door. “Hey, Vice-Pres, let’s jet.”
Yuuri smiles as she turns to Saito. "I was just letting the other group know the plan. Now that they know, yes, let’s!”
The two groups say their goodbyes and split up, hopeful to get the money for their club.