It took me around 20 minutes to arrive at the location and find the cafe. I was familiar with the area, but never went to this particular cafe.

I pushed the door open to the sound of a ringing bell, which immediately alerted one of the workers to my presence.

“Ah, welcome back, Master!”

Wait, what.

Before me stood a maid. No beating around the bush. It was a full-on maid, with a soft round face. Her hair was a blue bob, obviously a wig, with a couple strands covering one of her eyes. She reminded me of one of the twins from Ze:Rero.

“May I bring you to your table?” the maid asked politely, as expected. Still, I was taken aback by all of this.

What on earth did Big-Tuber-San think, meeting up in a maid cafe? Was she an otaku? Well, considering her username ...

What if SHE was a guy too! And a creep at that!

“Master? Is everything alright?” The maid asked.

“Oh, yeah sorry. Um, I am meeting a friend, she told me to ask for table ...” I looked at my chat with Big-Tuber for a sec, “table ... 69 ...”

Okay, now this was the perfect set up for a prank, what the heck!?

“Ah, of course! She hasn’t arrived yet, I am afraid, but I’ll gladly lead you to the table.”

Was Big-Tuber-San a regular here? Or what prompted this response?

“Thank you.”

I felt inclined to bow in response. I don’t know where that Japanese sense for politeness came from suddenly.

The maid stretched out her arm in the direction of the room and motioned for me to follow her. She led me to a table in the corner. Couches lined the walls, and facing the corner, were two big armchairs in front of a table. The table was rather low, so you wouldn’t be able to comfortably rest your arms on it, but high enough for you to be able to reach for your drink, or cake, or whatever.

“Please take a seat in the corner. Normally, I wouldn’t say this, master, but our mistress prefers to sit on one of the armchairs.”

“O- of course,” I answered, as I sat down in the corner.

“Is she a regular here?”

“Well, of course! She usually takes this table. It is rare for her to invite friends though. Usually, if she has company it’s just the same woman. But I do hope to welcome you as a regular, master. If you visit the next time don’t hesitate to ask for Erika.”

Wow, she had that roleplay down to a T! I wondered why I never visited places like this?

“Would you like to see the menu?”

Ah, right.

“Of course,” I said, mostly out of politeness. I’d probably just take whatever was the cheapest.

“There you go, Master. And don’t hesitate to ring the bell, if you’d like to order, or if you just want some company.” The maid handed the menu she fished out of thin air to me, and with a cheeky wink, she left the table.

Gulp.

Well, that place certainly had its charm.

Now, let’s see what this menu was all about.

Otokonoko Cafè

“Bwuh?!”

I spit out my non-existent drink. Look, my Japanese was barely enough to understand why Takashi accidentally stood up Mary in my Genki textbooks, but I knew that Otokonoko basically meant femboy.

Oh my god, I was at femboy hooters.

What was wrong with that V-Tuber!?

Absolutely flabbergasted, I took a look at the menu. It was a menu for the femboy maids.

This situation stressed me out enough that I just wanted to put down this menu and leave. But on the other hand, I was curious.

As I looked through the menu of guys dressing up as girls (and recognizing at least two I had hooked up with), I had a horrifying premonition: She knew!

I put down the menu and elected to stare at the wall for a bit.

“Hey, you creep! This table is already taken!”

I barely managed to utter a “huh?” in response.

Before me stood a small girl, with a cute blond bob, that was so bright, it must be dyed. She had a slender frame and she was a good head or two smaller than I. She had to be a few years younger than me, probably still in school.

“Pardon me?” I was just so tired.

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“We’re here to meet someone, so beat it!”

We?

I looked around and my gaze stopped on another girl close to us. She looked much more my age than the other and looked at us timidly. I can’t believe I didn’t notice her before. This small girl really filled the whole room with her presence.

“Well, I am also meeting someone at this exact table.”

I tried to remain calm, but the audacity of this white girl ...

“Ah,” the shy one said. “You aren’t by any chance ... Gaia ... kun?”

And then it clicked.

Her voice.

“Big-Tuber-San?”

“Ah, so it is you!”

The change in attitude! Big-Tuber-San suddenly spoke a few dozen decibel louder. Her hair didn’t cover half her face anymore! She went from Sadako to Sawako in an instant!

“Huh?!” The other bratty girl exclaimed, no, outright screamed.

I wonder what it looked like when a group of polite, subservient maids had to throw out a customer?

Wait a second ...

“Val, is that you?”

At this simple question she tore her eyes wide open.

“You gotta be shittin’ me ...”

“Well, this is a bit of a surprise, but we are going to make the best of it, right Val?”

Big-Tuber-San clasped her hands together, like the good Onee-sama she was.

...

Pardon my French Japanese. It seems the environment being an “Otokonoko”-Cafe has rewired my bureinseruzu.

She took place in one of the big armchairs, resting her hands on both sides, and crossing her legs.

“So, uhh, why did you bring her, exactly?” I asked Big-Tuber-San about Val, purposefully ignoring the elephant in the room.

“I ... didn’t!” She looked at Val with an unwavering smile. “I wasn’t planning on bringing anyone, but somehow she must have smelled it.”

“Huh?” I asked with confusion, and a tiny bit of disgust.

“I hacked into the mainframe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!”

“It’s her superpower, or something,” Big-Tuber-San casually explained.

“Anyway, don’t you have some explaining to do as well!?” Val, who had taken place on the other armchair, exclaimed.

I felt like I was being cross-examined.

“Umm, well, I know, it has become obvious by now, but ... I am a dude?”

“No shit!”

“I’m not a creep, I promise!” I blurted out.

God, I hope, this doesn’t have the opposite effect of what I intended ...

“And how did that happen?” Big-Tuber-San asked curiously, pointing her index finger at her chin.

“How did what happen? I was born and I was a guy?”

“Well, yes, but about you V-Tubing as a girl ...”

“Oh, that ... happened on accident.”

I quickly explained the story behind my whacky career.

“Wow, you really do have a tendency to make a mistake and see just how you can make it even worse!” Val now talked a bit more quiet, but nonetheless sternly. Looking at the past weeks of my life, however ... yeah! That checks out!

“Does anyone else know? Besides us now?” Big-Tuber-San asked.

“Well, a couple of irls know, but that’s it.”

“Huh, so what about your work husband?” Val put some special emphasis on those last words.

I clenched my jaw hard, as I cringed at that.

“Oh yeah, Crush. Hhhhhhhh.”

“Oh, he doesn’t know, but you desperately want him to know, don’t you?” Big-Tuber-San said, with a knowing smile on her face.

These two are reading me like a book!

If I had known, how unpleasant this meeting would be ...

But there’s no leaving now. I bet Val could throw me over her shoulder, and I was pretty sure I’d have to battle an army of femboy maids on my way out. I don’t know how they do this, but these two girls seem to be scaring the shit out of those poor employees.

“Anyway, let us put all that aside,” Big-Tuber said, “I forgive you for lying and think we should try to remain on the steady path to friendship.”

I gulped comically in response.

“I already told you, that Val is the only other V-Tuber I’ve met irl?”

I nodded.

“So, you are number two! Collecting them like Mokepon! Only, they are really hard to come by and don’t just hide in the grass ...”

“What about you?” I asked Val.

“Same here,” she answered with a low voice.

“By the way, is it okay, if I just call you by your usernames? Or do you want to use our real names, when we are meeting in private?” I asked.

“Well, I go by Val irl, as well, so same-same.”

Huh, she really is not that different from her online persona, is she? Big-Tuber on the other hand ... The only similarity lies in her big ... online ... following.

Jesus she must be having a world of back pain, packing like that.

“My real name is Nadeshiko, but that is kinda cringe, so just call me whatever.”

What’s with all the Japanese stuff today. That being said, I didn’t know what to do with that information. Is there any feasible nickname for Nadeshiko? Should I just call her Big-Tuber-San?

“I assume your real name isn’t Gaia,” Nadeshiko said, prompting me tell my real name.

“Oh right, your gonna laugh at that, I go by Guy.”

“Heh, there certainly is an irony to that ...”

“Now, that you mention it,” Val said, “Your voice when you stream is awesome, how do you do that?”

“That’s true, right until meeting you for real I never would have suspected you to be a guy, right?” Nadeshiko nodded in agreement.

“Heh, thanks. I mean, I don’t need a particularly, high-pitched, feminine voice, since Gaia is a muscle-lady. But, um,” I really wasn’t sure if I should relay this information to strangers, but it was a valid question. “Well, my older sister is trans. When she started transitioning she watched a lot of tutorials on how to make your voice sound more feminine. So I picked up a bit from that.”

“Hahah, that’s so cool!” Big-Tuber-San seemed genuinely excited. “Does you sister know?”

“Oh no, she’s not into all that nerd stuff. She has used me to give feedback on her voice though. We ... kind of did the training together I guess.”

“Awwwww, isn’t that just the cutest stuff?” Nadeshiko looked like she was having sugar shock.

“The ’being an ally during your sister’s transition to becoming a cross-playing V-Tuber pipeline’ is not something I expected to learn about today,” was Val’s only comment.

“I bet your stories aren’t as cool and exciting as mine though, are they?” I asked the two of them.

“Well, I started streaming because of ...” Big-Tuber-San said.

“... the pandemic ...” Val finished.

“God, same,” I answered with a chuckle.

“You know, it’s so weird, sitting here with you two,” said Big-Tuber-San. “Our little community seems to be growing, little by little.”

“Well, it has always been growing,” I added. “Is only, that we happen to live in the same city, and also the government decided that the pandemic is over, so we are meeting in a ... femboy cafe.”

“Hmmm, in a way, you are a femboy too, aren’t you, Gaia-sama?” Val said, bitterly.

“If you are trying to make me insecure in my masculinity, that’s not working ValGal. Also, it’s not like my Gaia character is a femboy. At least not that the audience knows.”

“Do you plan on revealing yourself to your fans someday?” Nadeshiko asked.

“Nah, not really. Really don’t want to deal with all that mess.”

“Mhm, I get that,” Val said. “To be honest, it’s for the best not to reveal your true self to the audience, and just keep doing your little roleplay.”

“You literally look the same as your avatar!” Yeah, I couldn’t hold it at that moment.

“No, I do not!”

“Jesus, can you two quit the bickering! I was really hoping, it would just be a stream thing between the two of you ... Ah!” Nadeshiko’s defeated gaze shot up, as if she just had an idea.

“You good?” I asked.

“Did I just have an idea ... What would you two think about doing a Coop stream?”

“Huh? We already did a collab,” Val retorted.

“Yeah, but you did a competitive stream! What I want from you is a cooperative stream. One where you have to work together!”

“Huh, no!”, exclaimed Val.

“Sure, sounds cool!” I said at the exact same time.

“The fact that you both have different reactions to this ... the comedic potential ... I am so sorry, but I will have to force you two to do this. Management can go to heck. This is too perfect of an opportunity!”

And just like that, a new stream idea was born.