“Welcome back everyone, it’s your favorite V-Tuber Gaia, and todaaaaaay ... well, fingers crossed, I am finally perfecting my sub two run of Firby and the Korgotten Lands.”
And with that, I went online to almost a hundred viewers.
[Hi there]
[Woah, still there? Was kinda bummed to miss last stream, but maybe today I’ll witness your victory]
[Did you see that new 1:40 record?]
I was assaulted by a slew of custom waving emotes among those messages.
“Wow, there’s still so many of you guys. This is, what now, the third stream where I attempt this? In case any of you are new here, I am going to try to beat Firby and the Korgotten Lands any% in under two hours. I already got so close, but always just about mess it up during the finale.
“Also yes, I’ve seen the 1:40 record. That is absolutely insane, I am never going to do that. If I manage a sub two, then I will leave this game be for a looooooong time. But, speaking of which ... actually, let’s take a look at this video together.”
I opened YouTube on a separate screen and typed in “Firby Speedrun WR”. I located the video and, upon clicking on it, was immediately assaulted by happy music too loud for my ears.
“Woopsie, hope I didn’t accidentally kill you!”
I had forgotten to turn my volume down.
“Alright, let’s take a look,” I said, as my mouse hovered over the video timeline.
“I watched it, all of it, because there are some glitches that might be of use to me. I’m not going for a world record run, so I have made peace with messing up the final area, but I thought I could try to buy some time early on ... like here.”
I skipped to a certain moment in the video.
“So, as it turns out, he managed to incorporate some massive skip during the boss rush level? And I did some serious digging, and it turns out, this could save us around two minutes, using the space jump glitch. It’s kind of tricky to pull off, but I did some practicing and am fairly confident I’ll be able to do it!”
I moved my mouse outside the screen to my second monitor with the streaming software on it, and switched scenes. The menu of Firby was already waiting for me.
“Okidoki,” I cracked my knuckles in front of the mic and picked up my controller.
Ding.
“Shame that your Avatar is not responsive enough for the knuckle cracks,” a robotic voice spoke from my headphones.
“Lol, what’s with that timing. How creepy.” I pushed the button to start the timer as well as the game. “Anyway, thanks for the donation I guess, hahah.
“Now, focus! Don’t want the donation sound to startle me to in-game death again.”
After skipping the intro cutscene on almost the first frame, I let Firby slide over the ground over and over again.
“Thankfully, I got the level layouts in my blood by now, so I can pay a bit of attention to you guys. I’m not much of a multi-tasker, so playing and talking is a bit hard for me. Though, recently, playing games in private, I noticed I started commentating on my playthroughs, even though no one’s around. Not sure if I’m going insane, or ...”
[Yeah, happened to me too, after I started out doing Let’s Plays. My channel is dead now, but I still do it ...]
“Oh boy, I did not realize streaming would give me brain damage when I started out a few months ago, haha.”
The run progressed smoothly and after about an hour I finally arrived at the level in question.
“And we’re here.”
I entered the level.
“I’ve practiced this glitch on my 100% file, but honestly, I don’t know if I’ll manage to do it first try. Okay, let’s set up the glitch.”
[This glitch is so random]
[It’s not a video game if it doesn’t have a moon jump glitch lol]
“So, basically what I’m going to do is moon jump and then use my copy-ability to skip all the boss fights at once.
“Okay, let’s do it.”
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
“I can hear the blood rushing through your temples. Let’s go girl!”
“Thanks for the creepy donation.”
I triggered the moon jump ...
“Okay, buttonmashingggggggg.”
... and used the ability ...
“And ... shit.”
... and I messed up.
[Noooooooo]
[Come on try again]
[You can still get some time out of it]
“Ah, crap, and we’re behind on time already ... but I’ll have to try again.”
I set up the glitch a second time and immediately started button mashing again.
[That poor controller]
“Don’t try this at home kids, it’s gonna give you arthritis.”
Suddenly the camera shot upwards.
“I did it!”
I steered ahead and skipped the entire level in a matter of thirty seconds.
“Haha, yes!!! What was that, a one-minute save? Well, if I don’t mess up now, I might be able to do it.”
[NICE]
[Crush me with that biceps like you crushed that controller]
“Here’s money for a new controller.”
“Jeez, what’s with you guys. I know my avatar says otherwise, but I’m not that strong. I’m a gentle giant. Anyway, with that the rest should be a breeze. Get it, because I’m playing Spring Breeze Mode.”
[No thank you.]
[There she goes with the bad puns again]
[Didn’t you say this one last time already?]
The rest of the game was a breeze, actually. Mostly just sprinting (or rather sliding) through the game, right until the final level.
“Okay, guys, now here’s where the fun begins. For those who don’t know, this level consists of a boss, another boss and then another boss, and then another boss and then ... or was that in the after story? Anyway, it’s boss rush time! And we can’t afford to die, nor can we skip this.”
As I said this, I had already beaten the first phase of the first boss.
[No damage, nice!]
[Could this be it???]
[Less than 7 minutes??]
[Do you know how long it took me to get through all these bosses lmfao]
[Why these games always amp up the difficulty towards the end like this]
After this first boss came an unskippable elevator sequence, so I used the time to stretch and roll around my wrists a bit.
“Phew, okay, now let’s get to the real deal ...”
Beating bosses and skipping cutscenes filled the next minutes, alongside chat messages of encouragement and the odd donation every now and then.
“Okay, we got four minutes left and have taken no damage so far, that’s good!”
I glanced at the chat when a notification sound from my streaming software caught my attention.
“A raid? Huh, BIG-TUBER-SAN?!”
[NO WAY]
[LMAO GETTING RAIDED BY THE BIG TUBER]
[COLLABCOLLABCOLLAB]
[Wow, was your viewer count ever this high???]
“Holy crap, that timing is perfect. Now let me show your viewers the damage these muscles can do, Big-Tuber-San!”
With a keyboard press I let my avatar flex her biceps.
[Yoo, there she goes flexing!]
[Now she won’t lose for sure]
“Waited the entire stream for your muscles. Thank you, m’lady.”
“Lol, what’s with that message, don’t want Big-Tuber-San and her viewers think my community is full of incels.”
Despite getting distracted by everything that happened, I was more focused than ever before. I dodged most of the attacks perfectly, and did max damage to the final boss every time there was an opening.
“Okay, guys, I think we got it!!!”
[YOOOOO]
[LET’S GO]
The game music ramped up as Firby went for the final strike. With probably the easiest button inputs in a while I dodged the obstacles, did the quick time events and then ...
I spun the joystick under my palm as fast as I could and finally ...
“DID IT!”
A most un-lady-like scream erupted from deep within. But that was fine, my avatar was a buff muscle lady after all!
[FINALLY]
[THAT WAS AGONIZING]
[SO CLOSE]
“Oh crap, the timer,” I said as I paused the timer, a few seconds too late.
“Still 1:59:52 though. Ahhh, was hoping for a better time, but that’s fine. I’m a casual speedrunner after all.”
[That gives you a place in the Top 100 though!]
“Oh my god, I need a break.”
“Well done, here’s some money for ointment for you palms.”
“Lol, thanks Big-Tuber-San and viewers! Oh my god, my notifications are bursting, so many new followers, and even a few subs. Thank y’all for watching.”
I stared at the screen where the credits started playing and started humming the theme song.
“Oh, also I forgot. Victory!” I shouted, as I made my avatar stand up from her invisible chair and flex both her arms above and below.
[Karaoke stream when?]
[Victory!]
“I’m sweating. In any case, Big-Tuber-San, to what do I owe this honor?”
[Viewers decided to pay you a visit]
“To get raided by someone from an agency ... wish I could make this kind of money sometime.”
[There is a contest, you know?]
“A contest, really?”
[Yeah, check it out on the LolHive Website]
“Sure, why not check it out together? I need a break, really.”
LolHive was the V-Tuber agency and Big-Tuber was the V-Tuber of the agency. All of this happening was crazy, but a contest?
“Hmm, to be eligible I must stream multiple times a week, have a following of at least a thousand ... well, that’s all still a bit away, but not impossible, right? And I have to be ’my most authentic self’. Did they not get the memo what being a V-Tuber was all about?”
[Lol, Gaia going professional?]
[Multiple streams a week? Heaven!]
“I mean, I’d have the time to do that, but I can’t be speedrunning all the time, right? That’s just too exhausting.”
[If you don’t mind, we can chat about it some. Just join my Discord.]
“Awww, Big-Tuber-San. Heart-Emoji. Don’t mind if I do?”
Another notification sound notified me of another raid happening.
“Woah, a rare event, a double-raid! It’s Crush! Hello, my love, how are we doing? Oh, oh! Guess what I’m going to be famous!”
[Lol, here comes the husband.]
[Famous?]
“Yeah, I’m going to try out that LolHive contest!”
[Good luck with that]
“Sadly, you just joined in time for the end of the stream. I am beyond exhausted, but so glad I finally managed to do a sub two hours. I have no plans for the next stream yet. But considering the contest, it’s sure to get crazy. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter for all the updates, and we’ll see each other sometime soon. Bye bye!”
With one last flex, I ended my stream.