That afternoon, Delilah couldn’t concentrate on any of her classes. She was too distracted by what she had witnessed during lunch. From time to time, she would quickly glance over at Sebastian to see him taking notes. She took in his cute looks, remembered his light and raspy voice, and how everything about him was so docile, kind, and warm. She would have never fathomed that he would say the things that he did to what were seemingly his former friends. As she sat there, one thing that he had said echoed in her mind.

“... depends on whether or not she turns out to be a piece of shit like you. If she does, I won’t hesitate to bury her where she stands… just like I did to all of you.”

She thought about those words carefully as there was so much to unpack from them. On the one hand, she learned that Bryce, Kayla, and Shiloh did something to Sebastian that broke their friendship. What that ‘something’ was; however, was unknown. Whatever it was, it was terrible enough to cause Sebastian to lace his words with harsh venom.

The other part of Sebastian’s words is what bothered her the most… the fact that he would not hesitate to do the same to her if, and only if, she pulled something with him on the same level as they did. When she took away the face value and tried to rationally think about it, it made more and more sense to her. If she did something so terrible to break his trust and hurt his feelings, then he would have every right to ‘bury her where she stood. She would no longer earn the honor of being his friend.

So far, Sebastian had always seemed happy when they were hanging out together. She figured that if she were a bother to him, there would be no way that he would have ever accepted her. That mere fact alone told her that she was safe around him and had nothing to fear. Plus, Sebastian was cornered by three people who openly ridiculed and pressured him. Anyone in that situation could blurt out something they wouldn’t necessarily mean out of anger.

She wondered if she should talk to Sebastian about it after school or let it be. She knew that it wasn’t any of her business but as his friend, she wanted to be there for him and support him through whatever was bothering him… even if it meant sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.

As the day wound down, she glanced over and noticed that he was staring out the window. She wanted to say something but he seemed lost in thought. She figured that he, too, was replaying the incident over again in his head. She could only imagine how everything made him feel. After all, she felt terrible about it and she was just a bystander. With the way he looked now, she questioned whether or not asking him to walk home together would be such a good idea as there was a high chance that he would want to be left alone.

On the other hand, there was also the chance he would be open and talk about it. The desire to be there for him as a friend nudged her in the direction of taking that chance. She figured that if she was going to talk to him, she might have to get a bit crafty. She decided that she was going to do it but she wasn’t going to ask him to walk home with her. Instead, she decided she would follow him at a distance at first, then quicken her pace to catch up. This would take away his option to say no. The plan was a bit on the devious side but, at least, this way she could slowly ease herself into the topic. She only hoped that Sebastian could see that her heart was in the right place.

The day’s final bell rang and she saw Sebastian quickly gather his things together. He stood and slung his backpack over his shoulder and quickly made his way out of the classroom. Delilah looked over at the trio that ridiculed him earlier and noticed that they all stared at him as he briskly passed by. When she saw that, it became clear that he didn’t stick around because he wanted to get as far away from them as possible.

What she didn’t expect, though, was for them to turn and look in her direction. When they saw her looking back, they quickly turned their heads and began to whisper amongst each other. She thought about going over there and confronting them but without knowing the full story yet, what was she going to say? Besides, if she said anything, it would alert them to the fact that she had overheard everything. She decided to let it go for now and headed out. After all, she couldn’t waste much time if she wanted to catch up to Sebastian.

By the time she made it to the front gate of the school, Sebastian was already halfway up the hill. The hill wasn’t all that steep but there was a decent enough incline to make power-walking up it a bit of a chore.

As luck would have it, the lights turned red by the time she got to the intersection so she had to wait. As she did, Sebastian got further and further away. She cursed to herself as she tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the light to turn green. When it did, she ran across the road and continued the pace until she regained her original distance from him. There, she slowed down to catch her breath but continued forward briskly.

Meanwhile, Sebastian had his head down and one hand in his pocket, his mind was on anything but what happened.

This is the second day in a row where I get to walk home alone in peace! I was fully expecting her to ask me to join her but she didn’t. I know that lightning rarely strikes twice but here we are. This is fantastic! The nice cool autumn breeze, the warmth of the sun, and all of the peace and quiet… this is truly magical! Even if I made a spectacle of myself, running out of class surely has its benefits! It’s moments like this that I wish could last fore–

Before he could even finish that thought, Delilah had caught up to him and he heard her voice call out from behind.

“Hey, Sebastian!”

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…

“H-Hey!”

“Mind if we walk home together?”

Yes, I do mind; however, it’s not like I can do anything about it now. Plus, that’s a pretty stupid question to ask knowing full well that we live close to one another. We have no choice but to walk in the same direction. Even if I said no, there was no way to just change course and make her disappear.

“I don’t mind.”

“A-Are you sure?” she said, lowering her tone to where it almost sounded painful for her to ask that.

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She’s usually gung-ho with me. This is the first time she double-checked to ensure it was okay. Something’s off here, but what?

“Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t mind the company at all.”

“Okay. So, um… how are things going with you?”

Now she’s concerned about me? Is this because I rushed out of the classroom so quickly? Maybe by doing so, I made her worry that something was wrong. Granted, something was wrong as I didn’t want to run into Bryce and his two pieces of arm trash again.

“Things are fine. How about you?”

“Fine as well… but… are you sure there’s nothing wrong?”

Man, she’s laying it on thick… why the hell do you care so much?

“Yeah, I’m sure… why?”

When he returned the question, she tensed up. She wanted to explain everything and began to get a bit nervous. She wondered if it was okay to expose the fact that she had heard everything and how he would react to that. Rather than just come out with it, she decided to test the waters before diving in fully.

“I… was just wondering if you wanted me to stop bothering you…”

Wait… did she think I ran out because of her? Is she finally getting the message that I don’t want to hang out with her? Wait… Bryce and the others… they threatened to talk to her about me. Did they go through with that threat after what I had said to them? This could be opening a massive can of worms here but I have to know. If they talked to her, this could be my golden ticket back to a life of solitude. As long as I handle this carefully, I can break things up in the least damaging way possible.

“Why do you ask that? Do you think that you’re a bother to me?”

Answering a question with a question is a great passive deflection that puts me in the driver’s seat. Let’s see where this goes.

Delilah tensed up even more. While the whole point of catching up to him was to find out what the real reason behind that confrontation was, being faced with a question that would force her hand into it made her think twice if it was such a good idea. She quickly weighed her options but remembered her determination when it came to learning how to draw. Sebastian was her inspiration and she made both a vow to get better and to support him as his friend. With that conviction suddenly renewed, she decided to just go for it.

“I… followed you at lunch thinking that maybe I could help you with your friend and… I overheard everything that happened… I just wondered if maybe I was being a bother to you this entire time.”

Wait… she was there!? So, Bryce and the others didn’t talk to her at all? Granted that I didn’t say anything that would hint towards her being a bother to me but I did say that I would drop her where she stood if she got on my bad side. No wonder she thinks that she’s pestering me. I mean, she is but do I just bite the bullet and tell her the truth? This is that proverbial golden platter I’ve been waiting for. All I have to do is speak my mind and I can end things right here and now!

It’s just that… It’s just that…. ARGH! WHY CAN’T I BRING MYSELF TO DO IT!? IT’S RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! SO, WHY!? WHY CAN’T I SAY IT!?

“Ah… I can understand why you would think that. I guess I said some things that would give you that impression but… I assure you that you’re not a bother to me. I do enjoy being your friend.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course!”

“So, I can keep hanging out with you?”

“Yeah, you can.”

When she heard those words, her face lit up as if all of the tension had washed away. When she looked into Sebastian’s eyes, she saw that same kind of gentleness that she had always seen with him. Even though she already got her answer, there was still something else she wanted to know about.

“Sebastian… It’s not that I don’t believe you or anything as you’ve always been kind to me but… if I ever did get on your bad side for some reason, what did you mean when you said that you would drop me where I stood?”

Yeah. There’s no way in hell that I’m opening up to you like this…

“To be honest, that’s a more loaded question than you think it is. I’m sorry but it’s not something I’m ready to talk about; however, what I said was out of anger for something that happened between Bryce and myself some time ago. It was said in the heat of the moment and now that I’m more calm and rational, I regret saying something like that. I’m sorry if I made you worry.”

“Ah… I kind of figured that but I wasn’t sure. I’m glad to know that you’re not going to drop-kick me off the side of a bridge or anything, haha. I can respect the fact that something happened and it’s not easy to talk about it but… I also want you to know that I truly want to be your friend so if you ever want to confide anything in me or get something off your chest, I’d be more than happy to listen; however… I want it to be on your terms. I won’t pester you about it.”

“T-Thanks… I appreciate that.”

After their talk, they walked home together until Sebastian made it to his street. He bid her farewell and headed off to his house. When he arrived, he closed the door behind him but suddenly, he fell up against it and slid down into a seated position, his backpack falling to the side in the process. He pulled his knees close up to his chest and placed his head between them.

“Confide in you? Why… Why do you care so much about me? You have no reason to be there for me. You’ve known me for less than a week so why?”

Sebastian leaned against the door, the back of his head thumped against its cold, metal exterior. He let out an exhaustive sigh and stared across his living room, taking in the sight of everything as if he were analyzing things.

“Ever since the first day you talked to me, I’ve wished for nothing more than for you to disappear. You became a disruption of the life that I had crafted for myself… a life where I could be happy. No matter how hard I try to bring out my true feelings, I can’t… not with you. What the hell is so special about you to where I can’t make you disappear? I can’t find the strength to say the words that I want to say. Every time I try, the opposite comes out of my mouth…”

“I’m not who I used to be. I killed that version of myself so long ago. I am not the Sebastian Saje I once was, and yet, every single time I try to finish off my past self, he resurfaces, and because of such, I’m locked into a friendship with you. A friendship I don’t want… At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. I’m beginning to think I’m just lying to myself as a form of protection…”

“What am I trying to protect myself from? The life I have now is perfect. It’s the one true thing that I can trust because everything is black and white. There’s not a single gray area here, not one single outlier that can ruin it… except you and you’ve been doing a marvelous job of it so far. Just like the life I have crafted, severing you from it should be just as black and white but it’s not.”

“I think it’s time I realize the lie I’ve been telling myself. The me from the past isn’t dead and he still yearns for acceptance; however, just because I recognize that doesn’t mean I’m willing to accept it. I don’t need to put my trust in someone else ever again. I don’t need that so-called comfort of friendship. I only need myself. I just need to find a way to deliver that message without crushing her feel…”

Sebastian hesitated for but a moment as he realized that his sympathy toward Delilah was that old self of his leaking out once more.

“...ings. NO! THIS IS THE PROBLEM! THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS ENTIRE SITUATION! I KILLED YOU! STOP CARING SO MUCH FOR SOME RANDOM GIRL WHO IS TAKING EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME!”

Sebastian gripped the sides of his head, digging his fingers into his blond hair, his eyes wincing from pain both physical and mental. Suddenly, his vision became a bit fuzzy. What followed was nothing but darkness. A small light began to illuminate; however, the brighter it got, it turned to a color of crimson. Beyond the crimson veil stood the silhouette of a man who looked as if he were raising his arm. As it came crashing down, everything returned to normal.

A tear or two escaped from the corner of his eye as his breathing became a bit shallow and labored. Nervously, he reached into his pocket and gripped a solid object. He pulled it out to reveal a bottle of pills. He opened the bottle and placed one into his mouth where he used his saliva to force it down his throat.

He sat there with his eyes closed for a good twenty minutes as he waited for the pill’s effects to kick in. Slowly, his emotional tenseness subsided. He opened his eyes slightly and that’s when the pressure was relieved and the tears began to flow out like a downpour. It didn’t take long for his eyes to puff up and become stained with a light hue of pink. His breathing altered to taking in quick puffs between each teardrop as his heart began to ache.

“I… couldn’t control it this time… I needed to use them…” he said as he wiped the tears away. “This is all her fault… All she had to do was pick someone else to talk to. She could have had anyone in the class but she picked me. I… I can’t do this anymore. One way or another… this has to come to an end…”

Sebastian stood up and grabbed his backpack. He slowly meandered into his room where he shut the door behind him. Normally, he would do his homework and then jump straight into a gaming session; however, this time, it was different. He dropped his backpack at the foot of his bed and fell face-first into it. He grabbed a pillow, pulled it under his head, and buried his face within it as if he were attempting to muffle the world around him.

“I just wish the world would leave me alone…”