Close your eyes and envision a blank canvas. Absorb yourself in the vast nothingness of perpetual darkness.
Now, envision it.
Envision a life where not a single person calls or texts. Nobody holds within them the desire to talk to you. Not a soul walking this planet even cares that you exist. Every day, you are met with deafening silence from a world that has rejected you.
You are nothing more than an empty drone-like husk masquerading as a vessel that moves from routine moment to routine moment. Everything is laid out for you neatly and all you have to do is mindlessly follow the path.
Breakfast. School. Homework. Video Games. Dinner. Anime. Sleep. It’s a continuous cycle where everything is plotted out and min/maxed to get the most out of every second that ticks by on the clock. Time marches forward to an inevitable endpoint and you’re just the husk being carried along the stream until you disappear, never to be missed by a single soul.
Sounds like paradise, right?
Well, it is.
In my opinion, it’s the best life anyone could have ever asked for. It allows me the freedom to do what I want when I want. I don’t have to pander to the simple-minded who put on their fake smiles and pretend to care nor do I have to go out of my way to go places with them that I have no interest in going to. People are nothing more than an annoyance… an inconvenience. Why would anyone subject themselves to such mindless torture?
Besides, there isn’t much that this world has to offer that interests me. Movies? Nah… someone is bound to talk through it and ruin the experience. Restaurants? No, thanks. Why would I go somewhere and trust some part-time high school dropout with my food? An amusement park? The smell of those places makes me gag and the rides are nothing more than cheap thrills. Plus, they’re all overpriced and the wonder is lost by the time you pay for your ticket. The things that other people deem as fun, I find boring, dull, and a complete waste of time.
The world is inconvenient and annoying but it’s not all bad. It has video games, anime, and manga. Those are the cornerstones of my life that bring me joy and happiness. They all provide me with an escape to countless other worlds where I can erase the foul stench of existing in the real one.
My life doesn’t exist to be ruined by others. That already happened a long time ago. I’m perfectly happy living my regularly scheduled life.
It was Monday, October 2nd. A young boy sixteen in age with short blonde hair and mint-green eyes sat at a school desk clad in a white t-shirt with a black dress shirt over top, unbuttoned, and khaki pants. His head rested upon the palm of his hand as he stared out the window at gathering clouds of gray.
Even with the windows closed, the air was crisp and filled the classroom with an autumn chill. A few moments later, tiny droplets of water dotted the windows as a cold rain moved in. As the boy stared at the deteriorating weather, he relied on his smile to keep himself warm. After all, who didn’t love a dreary, rainy day?
The morning bell rang which captured the boy’s attention. He leaned back in his chair and stretched, a popping noise emanated from his neck. He didn’t mean for it to be that loud but it was loud enough that everyone took notice. Suddenly, his ears tuned in to some whisperings on the other side of the room. They were a bit too low for him to make out what was being said; however, he heard a couple of his classmates utter his name.
Same old, same old. Every time I do anything, someone has to say something. I do my best to mind my own business. It’s not that hard. Then again, simple-minded people struggle with simple things. To them, I guess I’m just a form of entertainment. Must be a crying shame knowing that none of you are even worth my time. It’s just how it is.
Their homeroom teacher went up and down the rows and took attendance. The boy sat on the far-left row, third seat from the front so it took a while before he was called upon. He hated this part of class because it required him to draw even more attention to himself; however, the inevitable happened so he decided to just get it over with.
“Sebastian Saje,” said the teacher.
“Here,” he replied, his voice light with a hint of rasp to it.
With attendance out of the way, it was time to start the day’s lessons. Sebastian paid attention to each subject and took as many notes as possible. With each subject taught came a round of homework as was the custom for the beginning of the week. He internally groaned because he knew that it would cut into his gaming time after school, still, it wasn’t something he could just toss aside and ignore.
Before he knew it, the morning had passed and the lunch bell rang. Everyone began to file out of the classroom and head to the cafeteria; however, Sebastian had other plans. He grabbed his backpack and headed to the other side of the building. Teachers mainly used a hallway of unused classrooms for extra storage. Sebastian picked the furthest one on the left which was packed with boxes stacked on top of more boxes. He figured that with it being so full, the chances of anybody coming in there to add more stuff to it were slim to none. So far, he was right. However, he wasn’t exclusive to this room during his lunch break. He had a few spots picked around the school to not be too predictable in the chance a passing teacher noticed him. The last thing he wanted to do was to dwindle his options for a peaceful lunch.
Just to be safe, he cleared out a small corner so he could obscure himself from vision should anyone come in. He sat on the floor and leaned up against the wall. He pulled a small container out of his backpack that consisted of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a small bag of grab-and-go dill-flavored potato chips, and a bottle of spring water. It was hardly a nutritious lunch but it got the job done.
As he nibbled away, he reached into his backpack and pulled out a notebook and a thin silver case. Upon flipping the notebook open, there was page after page of really detailed sketches of anime characters. He flipped to a blank page and closed his eyes for a moment as if he were trying to visualize something. With an image in mind, he popped open the tin and revealed several graphite pencils, each with a different level of thickness. He pulled out a 2B pencil and began to sketch out a character.
It was a young-looking female with short hair along with a few piercings on the eyebrow, the lip, and her ears. She could have passed as a punk rocker or even a goth girl. When he was finished, he tapped the end of the pencil on his chin as he muttered something unintelligible to himself. After mulling it over in his head, he wrote the name “Roxy” off to the side. Every drawing in the notebook had a name next to it.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Not my ideal type but she came out cute…” he muttered to himself.
Before he could get lost in his work, he checked his phone and noticed that it was almost time to head back to class. With a sigh, he scarfed down the remnants of his sandwich and chugged his water. He tossed his trash into his backpack and began to head back. After all, he didn’t want to leave any evidence in the bin just in case.
After lunch, his homeroom teacher returned and grabbed everyone’s attention. Sebastian thought it was odd since history was supposed to be next. At this school, they were experimenting with keeping all of the students together throughout the day and only having the teachers move between classes. It was a practice in other parts of the world but not something that was adopted here stateside. Sebastian’s school was the only one in the district that elected to be the guinea pig for this experiment. He didn’t mind it one bit as it was more convenient for him this way.
He looked up expecting it to be an announcement about something important that would impact him; however, it was far from that.
“I was informed during lunch that starting tomorrow, we will have a new student joining us. Her family just moved from the other side of the country so when she arrives, please make sure that you make her feel at home.”
The fact that it was revealed that the transfer student was female got some of the boys in the room talking amongst themselves. Sebastian glanced over and noticed that the only empty seat in the classroom was the one to his right. This meant that there was a near-one-hundred-percent chance that she would end up sitting next to him. The mere thought of that caused him to groan internally.
Great. I know exactly how this is going to play out. A new girl comes into a new class and has no friends. She’s going to want to try and talk to as many people as possible and since she’ll be sitting next to me, I’m a likely target for conversation. Just thinking about the possibility fills me with disgust. I can only hope she’s the type who is interested in talking with other girls and leaves me alone.
For the rest of the day, Sebastian remained quiet and took notes. When the final bell rang, he gathered up his stuff and headed out. He didn’t live far from the school. It was about a fifteen-minute journey on foot with very few twists and turns. To get home, all he had to do was turn right from the school gate and walk in a straight line for about two miles then make a right onto his street. His house wasn’t that far down the road; however, he had discovered a shortcut.
Turning right on the street before his brought him to a dead end with a small wooded area that adorned a slight hill. Going through there would bring him into his backyard, saving him a minute or two of extra walking. He figured that every minute he saved was an extra minute he could spend playing video games. Since he did the same things every day, he knew how to maximize his time and had everything he did down to a science.
However, before he could indulge in some digital entertainment, he wanted to knock his homework out first. As he looked through his notes, he began to grumble to himself.
“Ugh… world history, algebra, civics, vocabulary, and biology. All of this is useless to me. I don’t exactly need to know about Paul Revere to sit here and play the latest RPG nor do I need to know how to solve equations to listen to music in the dark, either. Save this kind of stuff for people who have real goals and ambitions in life.”
Despite his protest, Sebastian went ahead and worked through each assignment. By the time he was done, he heard the front door to the house close. It could only mean that his mother had gotten home from work. It also meant that dinner would be ready in about twenty minutes which didn’t allow him enough free time to get engrossed in a game. He became a bit annoyed and pouted as he sat on his bed.
Right on time, his mother called him to the table. Judging by the smell in the air, it was some kind of chicken dish. He took a seat at the kitchen table and noticed it was lemon pepper chicken, microwaved green beans from a can, and some oven-roasted carrots.
I don’t mind the chicken but these green beans and carrots… ugh. Canned vegetables lack flavor and I only like my carrots boiled. These look super greasy and I don’t prefer the char on them. Oh well, I might as well choke this down because if I don’t, mom will complain about it and I don’t exactly want to hear another one of her lectures about how some people in the world would be appreciative to eat what she cooks.
As Sebastian loaded up a plate, his mother struck up some casual conversation.
“How was school today?”
“Just school.”
“Just school, huh? Nothing exciting happened?”
“Well, a friend of mine invited me over after dinner so I was going to head over and hang out if that’s fine.”
“Of course! High school is when you should be going out and doing things instead of staying cooped up in your room all the time. You need to get out more so any chance you have to do so, you should take it.”
Sebastian internally groaned and continued to stuff his face with food so he wouldn’t have to answer that remark. If he did, he knew that the conversation wouldn’t end well.
“So, what do you plan to do at your friend’s house?”
“Probably play video games or something. I don’t know.”
“So, you’re going to someone else’s house to do the same thing that you do here.”
“Pretty much.”
“Why don’t you ever have your friends come over here? If all you’re going to do is play video games, they might as well come hang out in your room. Plus, I’d finally get to meet them and maybe cook them dinner.”
If it’s anything like tonight’s dinner, my “friends” would much rather stay home. Luckily, I don’t have any friends to put them through this kind of torture.”
“If I did that, then I wouldn’t be getting out of the house. Isn’t that what you want me to do more of?”
“Don’t get smart with me, Sebastian, you knew what I meant.”
“Well, maybe I’ll ask them next time and see what they say.”
“So, which friend are you visiting tonight?”
Sebastian scoured his brain for an answer. Suddenly, he remembered his sketchbook and the latest illustration that he had drawn. The name instantly popped into his head and it just happened to fall out of his mouth.
“Roxy.”
“You’re going to a girl’s house?”
“Roxy’s a guy, mom.”
“Oh. I can never tell these days. Parents just like to name their kids whatever they want. Where does Roxy live?”
What is with all of these questions? Just shut up and let me finish my dinner so I can get the hell out of here.
“Down in Aldenville.”
“That’s a bit of a distance. Don’t stay out too late or call me and I’ll come pick you up, okay?”
“Okay.”
Ah. She just wanted to make sure I got home safe. Doesn’t matter, though. Where I’m going isn’t anywhere near Aldenville. Just a few more bites and I can get out of here.
Sebastian hurried and choked down the remainder of his roasted carrots. Once he was done, he washed his plate in the sink and told his mother that he was heading out to “Roxy’s” house. He grabbed a jacket and headed out just as the sun had begun to set.
He stuck his hands in his pockets and turned right at the end of his walkway which would normally take him to Aldenville; however, one street down, he took another right and headed for Preston Park. The entire trip only took him five minutes on foot. When he arrived, he walked across the park to a small area up on a hill that was secluded by a bunch of trees.
He went there often whenever he felt suffocated at home and needed to clear his head. The barrage of questions from his mother over dinner did just that and he had quickly lost interest in playing video games. He took a seat at the base of a tall pine tree and looked up at the stars, their light poking through the canopy above him. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
Beautiful, crisp, cool air… the stars starting to poke through the dusk sky… the setting sun… all of it is perfect. This is everything that I need in life. Once I’m out of school, I’ll find some sort of job where I can work in peace, collect my paycheck, and come home to an empty house where I can do whatever I want. In other words, the perfect life.
It never used to be this way, though. I was such a fool back then… had I known then what I know now I would have never bothered with any of them. People leech off one another to get what they want until they don’t need you anymore. Then they move on to leech off of somebody else. There’s no such thing as true friendship in today’s world. All people crave is instant gratification. Someone will talk to you one minute and then bury their face into their phone the next. What kind of friendship is that?
As Sebastian said that, a vision popped into his head. Just as soon as it appeared, it disappeared and he was back to seeing nothing. He snapped his eyes open and looked around as if he were confirming that it was just his imagination. On instinct, he reached into his pocket and gripped something solid inside of it. Once he confirmed that everything was fine, he released whatever it was from his grip and pulled his hand back out.
Sebastian continued to sit there and stare up at the stars. As he thought about the freedom of a loner life, a faint smile came over his face. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the light had extinguished itself for another day. Sebastian closed his eyes and let the sound of the crisp wind and rustling leaves provide a calming ambiance.
For some people, this would seem implausible. They often craved attention and the company of others and could never truly understand how the direct opposite could make anyone happy, and yet, Sebastian was in his paradise.
Life; however, changes whether one likes it or not. The sun will rise again and another day will begin. If only Sebastian knew what was in store for him.