After Delilah left his house abruptly, Sebastian knew that he had made a terrible mistake. With the way his body felt, he couldn’t run after her but he remembered that he had her contact information. He reached into his pocket for his phone but it wasn’t there. He remembered that he had left it on the nightstand next to his bed and groaned knowing he had to get up and endure the muscle aches.
Nevertheless, since he had to get up, he decided to put the soup away first. Once that had been taken care of, he gingerly made his way to his bedroom where he sat on his bed and retrieved his phone; however, he hesitated when he opened up his text app.
Is it okay to text her? She seemed bothered by what I said so she may not even reply. If she doesn’t, how would that make me feel? Would it be like Bryce, Shiloh, and Kayla all over again? If I don’t send her a message, then it’ll look like I don’t care about her and it’ll make the situation worse. Should I just wait and give her a little bit of time to cool down first? How long is too long to wait, though?
Ugh… Why am I even in this situation, to begin with? If I had just given her the cold shoulder without knowing anything about her, I wouldn’t be sick right now and I would still have my peaceful, quiet life. Maybe I did make a mistake by putting my trust in her and thinking we could be friends. Maybe I should just let things be and ride it out. In the end, things will be awkward between us but maybe I can end all of this before I get in too deep.
But… does that make me a fool for giving up so easily? She never meant me any harm, though. Ugh… Why is this so hard to figure out? For anyone else, it would be as simple as apologizing and making amends but with me… I’m not sure and that’s the part that hurts the most. She doesn’t know the truth about me so she can never understand why this is so difficult.
Sebastian decided that he would send her a text message later that night. In the meantime, he did his mother a courtesy and did a little bit of housework, mainly to wipe down all of the areas he touched with disinfectant just in case. When she returned home, he explained to stay away from him and that he had the flu. She didn’t seem all too worried since she had also had her flu shot for the year.
When she opened the fridge to get out some stuff for dinner, she noticed the large bowl of soup inside of it.
“Did you make some soup, Sebastian?”
“No. Delilah brought it over for me.”
“That was nice of her. Did you thank her properly for it?”
“I did.”
“Good. She must care about you to go out of her way to do something like this. You should have her back over for dinner when you get better so we can repay her kindness.”
“I’ll ask her and see once I get better.”
“Good. Now, since you’re sick, go get some rest. If you need anything, just let me know.”
Sebastian retreated to his room where he sat back down on his bed. His Mom’s words just now about Delilah caring about him made him remember that she did make that soup from scratch just for him. He began to think it through once more.
Mom’s right. She did go out of her way to check up on me. Because I didn’t phrase something the right way, I stomped on her feelings. I truly am to blame here for all of this. I’ll text her and see if I can do something to apologize.
Sebastian grabbed his phone which still had his text messaging app opened. He tapped on the only other contact that wasn’t his mother’s work number and tapped out a message.
Hey. I was wondering if we could talk. I want to talk to you about what happened. I feel bad that I made you angry and I would like to explain things. Is that possible? Please let me know.
Sebastian pressed the send button and let out a heavy sigh. All he could do now was wait for her to reply. As he waited, he weighed the possibility in his head that she wouldn’t reply at all and end up ghosting him. As the minutes dragged by, it looked more and more likely that would be the case. He began to tense up as he could only think that it was happening all over again and how much of a fool he was for thinking that he could give friendship another try. Just when a tear was about to escape from his eye, he felt his phone buzz in his hand.
She had texted back.
He quickly opened the message and read it aloud.
“No need. I’m not angry.”
Huh? She’s not angry? Does this mean that everything is okay between us? Still, her message is short and to the point. I know it’s text and text cannot convey tone or inflection but this just seems rather cold. Do I take her word for it and believe her or do I go with my gut feeling that something is still wrong here? I’ll poke the hornet’s nest a little more and see.
Are you sure? I want to make things right if possible, he texted back.
Another moment passed and his phone buzzed again. “Everything’s fine,” he said as he read the message to himself.
Something still feels off about all of this. I don’t believe her but I think it would be an even bigger problem if I continued to bug her about this. I’ll let it be for now. I’ll eventually be well enough to go back to school so I’ll see her then. Maybe if I can hear her voice, I can tell if she is fine with this or not.
Sebastian ended up being absent for the rest of the week. His flu went through some peaks and valleys in terms of severity but it all began to clear up by the weekend. By Sunday, he was feeling much better and even entertained the thought of popping over to Delilah’s house to return her bowl but he also remembered that with it being the weekend, there was a good chance her father could be there. He remembered how she talked about him being overprotective so he figured that he could just bring the bowl to her house tomorrow after school.
That Monday, Sebastian readied himself to return to class. He was both excited and nervous to see Delilah again. He wasn’t sure how she would react to him but he felt that maybe enough time had passed to where things would be back to normal between them. He grabbed his bookbag and headed out a little bit earlier than normal, hoping that she would be there and they could talk before anyone else arrived.
When he arrived, he noticed that Delilah hadn’t shown up yet. There were a couple of other students already there but none of them seemed to care that he had returned. He took his seat and waited patiently for her; however, as the students filed in, she was not among them. It wasn’t until two minutes before the morning’s bell that she showed up, effectively making her the last one.
Hmm… Maybe she was running late? It’s not like I haven’t been late before so I can’t fault her for that.
“Morning!”
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“Morning…”
Sebastian made sure to add a bit of pep to his voice, hoping that the extra-friendly tone would convey that he was happy to see her; however, her reply was rather lifeless. She didn’t even look in his direction when she returned his greeting. Just that simple lack of inflection was enough to suck the energy right out of him. Suddenly, he felt a bit of a chill run through his body as if his emotions had suddenly changed.
I would like to think that she sounded like that because she was running late and didn’t have time to perk herself up with her morning cappuccino but… Her voice matched her replies to my texts to her. I knew that something felt off and it’s pretty obvious that she hasn’t forgiven me for what I said. I’ll see if I can talk to her during lunch so I can straighten this whole thing out.
Sebastian tried to focus on his studies; however, he was too preoccupied with how Delilah was feeling. He kept glancing at her through his peripheral vision to see if he could catch her looking in his direction as she would sometimes do but not once did she pay him any attention. She continued to look forward at the blackboard. The only time she looked away was when she tilted her head down to focus on her notebook to take notes. Throughout the entire morning, Sebastian began to feel even more defeated.
I’m starting to have second thoughts about this. On the one hand, I kind of want to make amends for what I said but… On the other hand… I’m getting a first-hand look at what it would be like should our brief friendship come to an end. If we can sit here and co-exist all while minding our business, then I can return to the life I had before, and all this will just be another painful memory of a friendship that never worked out.
But… If I’m truly okay with that then why does my heart hurt so much? Is it the realization that it’s happening all over again? Is it the sting that I at least know what caused it this time? Or… is it something else entirely? As much as it would be easy to let go… I don’t want to. This isn’t like my father or Bryce. I had no say in those situations. Here, I know that I’m the one who screwed up and I have a chance to fix this. I know what to do and yet…
Eventually, the lunch bell rang. Sebastian had made his decision and glanced over at Delilah who was doing her best not to look at him. A lump formed in his throat but he decided to go for it anyway.
“Say, would you care to have lunch together?”
“Not today, okay?”
“Ah… okay…” he said with a slight catch in his voice.
He grabbed his bookbag and left the classroom. He made his way over to the staircase that led up to the roof. He made sure the coast was clear and walked up, taking his typical seat around the corner and out of sight. Normally, he would pull out his notebook and sketch something but all of the energy had been drained from his body. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything.
She just flat-out rejected my offer. I guess that settles it, huh? Why would she tell me that everything was fine when it wasn’t? If everything was fine, she would have joined me for lunch and I could have talked to her properly.
Now, instead of talking things out, I’m sitting here alone, and… heh… just a week ago, I was begging to be alone just to get away from her, and now… Is this happening to me? Am I feeling a connection to another human being again? I don’t know why I keep asking myself the same questions over and over when I already know the answers.
Sebastian nibbled at his food as his appetite had all but disappeared. Without getting any of his usual drawings done, he slowly made his way back to class. When he entered, Delilah was there at her desk going through the notes she took. He walked over and sat back down, hoping that she would say something to him; however, he was met with silence once again. He let out an internal sigh as he began to unpack the textbooks he would need for his afternoon classes.
The afternoon was more of the same. Delilah kept her attention focused on whatever was being taught until the final period. With about five minutes left, Sebastian noticed that her head was turned as she was focused on the clock. With only a couple of minutes to go, she began to pack everything up ahead of time. He raised an eyebrow as he suspected something.
Is she planning on taking off as soon as the bell rings? This must mean she’s anticipating me asking to walk home with her. In other words, she’s trying to avoid me.
When he thought that, he had to turn his head away as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He did his best to compose himself; however, by the time he did, the final bell rang and Delilah shot up out of her seat and was one of the first ones out the door.
She left. I guess we weren’t meant to be friends after all.
Sebastian packed up and when he stood, he noticed that Bryce and Shiloh were staring at him while Kayla seemed to be minding her own business. With Delilah’s display just now, it was apparent to them that they had some sort of issue. Sebastian gritted his teeth and simply walked out without saying anything. He felt that there wasn’t much of a point in confronting them, especially when the teacher was still present. Sebastian walked down the hall hoping to see Delilah in front of him but she must have picked up the pace because she was completely gone from sight.
What do I do? Do I just let her go? Do I return to my peaceful and miserable life? Wait… Peaceful and miserable? Why did I think that? My life wasn’t miserable. It was nice and quiet. I was all alone with nobody to bother me… nobody to talk down to me… nobody to betray me! It was perfect! A perfect paradise where I was all alone and needed nobody! It wasn’t miserable at all! It was… It was…
Sebastian couldn’t finish that thought. He had tried so hard to convince himself that the life he chose was the best option but when he remembered how Delilah had taken the initiative to be his friend and even went so far as to make him soup when he was sick, his thoughts changed.
My life was miserable. I was miserable… and… I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT LIFE!
Sebastian took off running down the hall. He sped down the stairs and dashed out the front door. By the time he made it outside, he noticed Delilah was already at the school gate and had made the turn to head home. Sebastian wasted no time in giving chance, not caring who saw him or what they thought. He ran as fast as he could to catch up to her. When he turned right she was almost at the top of the hill. Already out of breath and with a sting in his chest from the remnants of the flu, he pushed forward. He didn’t care if he fell over dead, all he wanted was to catch up to her.
When he made it to the top of the hill, his heart sank. Delilah had made it across to the other side and the light had turned red. He had no choice but to wait… or did he?
Sebastian looked both ways as car after car came speeding down the road; however, he noticed a lull in the traffic on the right side. He looked to his left and also noticed a lull. He thought it was the best luck ever and when there was a bit of a clearing, he took off running at top speed across the intersection.
I can’t believe I just did that! I could have been killed if I had timed that wrong but at least I’ve got a shot at catching up to her now!
Covered in sweat and still nearly out of breath, Sebastian ran and ran until Delilah’s back got close enough to touch. He reached with his hand and placed it on her shoulder, startling her.
“I…. I’m… Sorry!!!” he said between deep breaths.
She turned around and looked at how exhausted he was. He thought that maybe she would see the effort he had put into reaching her and forgive him; however…
“What for?” she asked in a monotone voice.
The pause wasn’t enough for him to get his breath back. He held up a finger as he doubled over and grabbed his knees. After a few inhales, he finally got his wind back.
“Sorry… the remnants of the flu made running here a lot harder but… I’m sorry for what I said! It’s not how I meant to say it!”
“I told you, it’s fine.”
“NO IT’S NOT!” he yelled, startling her. “How can you say it’s fine? I hurt you when I said that you should keep practicing but I didn’t mean it in a way to say you were bad at drawing! All I’ve wanted was a chance to explain it but I felt like you didn’t want to hear what I had to say so please! Let me tell you what I meant!”
“You… didn’t think it was bad?”
“No, I didn’t! You told me that I inspired you to start drawing! I was shocked when you told me that so when you showed me the picture, I was still trying to process that I inspired someone like that. I told you to keep practicing because, at that moment, I pictured the two of us sitting next to each other and drawing characters together! I wanted you to keep going to reach the point where we could do that! I couldn’t find the right words to say so I thought if I told you to keep practicing, it would motivate you to keep going and instead, I accidentally hurt your feelings! I’m sorry, Delilah! I’m so, so sorry!”
“You… thought that?”
“Yes, I did.”
“You’re right… Everything wasn’t okay. I did take it the wrong way and all I could imagine in my head was being made fun of again for something I had just started to enjoy. You’ve been so kind to me this whole time so when you said that, I thought that you were turning into one of them… someone who would look down on me just because I wasn’t as good at something as you were. I guess I should have listened to you when you said you wanted to talk but… I…”
“...you couldn’t because of the things that happened to you in the past.”
Delilah nodded.
“I… understand that more than you think.”
“Because of Bryce?”
“Yeah…”
“I guess we have more in common than we thought, huh?”
“I guess you could say that. Say, Delilah. Can you forgive me for being such an idiot?”
“As long as you can forgive me for being one as well.”
“Of course, I can.”
Delilah then did something he didn’t expect. She stepped it and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a gentle, yet, firm hug. Sebastian immediately blushed but also couldn’t believe how good a simple hug could feel. The warmth of someone else making contact, the feeling of embrace, all of it sent a sensation throughout his body that until now was foreign to him. That’s when he realized that this was the first time in his life, someone other than his mother had hugged him. Even though Delilah let go, he didn’t want it to end.
“Then I forgive you, too.”
“Say… since you’re trying hard to learn how to draw, what if I offered to teach you?”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Sure. I can show you how to control your wrist for better line strokes and give you some pointers that you would only learn through repetition. I mean… that is if you want me to…”
“YES! I would love it if you taught me!”
“H-How about we start today?”
“Today? Really?”
“Why not? I can come over and I can show you a few tricks. Besides, I still have your soup bowl that I want to return.”
“Okay! How about we aim for 3:30, then?”
“3:30 sounds great!”
After that, they walked home together. At Ambrose, they went their separate ways; however, once Delilah was out of sight, the biggest smile came over his face. Deep down, he was glad that he didn’t run away.