While the tears flowed, they didn’t last forever. When Sebastian opened his eyes, he saw his room illuminated by the sun. He went to swing his legs over the side of his bed but even in his groggy state, he knew that something felt off. That’s when he remembered that he had fallen asleep face down while playing video games. His console was still on the Game Over screen from when he died in the middle of the night.

He slowly repositioned himself and sat on the edge of his bed. The first thing that he did was he meandered over to the television and powered down his console. He plopped back down on the bed and began to massage his temple as he had a bit of a headache.

At first, he didn’t exactly remember much of anything that happened; however, as the adrenaline kicked in and his body began to fully wake up, he started to remember the nightmare that plagued him. It almost seemed as if it were a fever dream with the way the events skipped from one to another; however, all of the events were real. They were his genuine memories that manifested themselves in the form of a dream. As he sat there, he reflected on the meaning of having that dream.

“For as long as Dad has been gone and for as long as that incident with Bryce, I never once had a nightmare or a dream about my past so why would my mind choose now of all times to resurface everything?’

As he sat there, he searched and searched his mind for an answer. The only conclusion that he could come to was the one change in his life since that fateful day back in middle school.

“She’s been so kind to me. Granted, I’ve been kind to her, too, but if only she heard my true thoughts, none of this would have been a problem. Despite my desire to push her away, I couldn’t. Just like I could never admit to myself that the old Sebastian Saje is still alive and inside me right now.”

As he muttered that, he began to get a bit choked up. His eyes began to water a bit until a single tear rolled down his cheek. The words he had been trying to hold back for so long finally came out of his mouth.

“And the old me wants to feel the embrace of a friend again… I can’t push her away because I truly want this more than anything…”

When the words finally escaped his mouth, he completely broke down. He finally realized the personality that resided within him wasn’t who he truly was. It was a shield he had put up so that he would never find himself in a situation where he would be hurt again. Now that he tasted true friendship, that shield began to crack.

He wiped the tears away from his eyes and took a deep breath to clear his mind. The tears didn’t stop immediately but they had begun to slow. For a moment, his mind went blank as he sat there and felt every emotion coursing through his body. It was like a tempest raging out of control as if every feeling he had ever felt swirled inside of him vying for control. Right now, he was at a crossroads and didn’t know which direction to go. Even though he fully admitted that he wanted to know what it was like to have a friend again, he wasn’t a hundred percent sold on taking the plunge.

After everything that happened, no one could blame him for wanting to stay cautious. His own father wanted nothing to do with him. The people he thought were his friends had betrayed him for seemingly no reason at all. That’s all he had known in life growing up so it was easy to understand why he thought the world was against him. Finally, his mind began to settle and it was as if a wave of clarity washed over him. He took another deep inhale and let it out.

“Is this something I truly want? Do I want to roll the dice again on so-called friendship?” he asked himself as he began to rub his chin in contemplation.

“On the one hand, if it works out, it could end up becoming the best thing that ever happened to me. After all, she went out of her way to talk to me. She’s always asking me to hang out at lunch or on the way home from school. She seems interested in the things I do and what I have to say. I can’t really detect any malice coming from her which is why I think it’s been so hard to be mean to her. She’s done nothing to deserve it at all.”

“On the other hand, if I fully accept her as a friend, I open myself up to becoming vulnerable. What if everything is fine at first but something happens and I take it the wrong way? What if I make plans with her and her parents force her to break it off because of a family outing or something? How would I react? Would I feel heartbroken because I think she’s ditching me like Bryce did or would I understand that it’s a totally normal thing that happens and there will always be a next time to hang out?”

“Another pro is that I’ll finally have someone to bring home to Mom so she can stop pestering me about bringing home fake friends that don’t even exist. Plus, she likes the same things I do so we could always hang out and watch anime or play video games together. I can finally share the things I love with another person without having to lie about it all the time.”

“Another con is that what if all of this ends up becoming temporary? I mean… we are in high school and the percentage of people who actually stay in touch with each other once they graduate is shockingly low. It’s something like maybe ten percent or less. If I accept her friendship, I’ll have a couple of years, at best, of having someone to hang around with before she potentially disappears. Then, I’ll be right back to square one as if all of my efforts were wasted. Is it worth the gamble to see if our friendship would be in the small percentage of those who remain together?”

“There are just way too many factors here. There are both benefits and detriments and I don’t know which way I should go. But… do I need to pick a path right away? Can’t I just stay in one spot, observe things, and make a more informed decision? That might be the best course of action here. I think that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll just ease myself into it as a way to test the waters and go from there. Although, I still like this nice and quiet life of mine. Another thing I wonder is if I will truly miss it if it disappears?”

Sebastian headed out to get washed up and he noticed that the house was rather quiet. That’s when he remembered that this was around the time his mother went grocery shopping. Given the time, she could be back at any moment. He did his best to get washed up quickly just in case. Sure enough, only a few minutes after getting out of the shower, she returned with a large trunk filled with food. He helped her bring in the groceries and even helped put them away. Afterward, he retreated to his room as per his custom.

Sebastian spent the majority of his weekend playing more games. Rather than sticking to Omega Man, he opted to pass the time by diving into a few turn-based RPGs in the End of Fantasy series. His favorite was the ninth installment of the series because it came with a built-in speed run mode, per se. If you made it to a secret boss near the end of the game in twelve hours or less, you were rewarded with an insanely powerful sword for one of the strongest characters in the game. Sebastian loved to try and get the sword with each playthrough as he found it fun and challenging. Other times, he simply opted to go for a 100% completion run, minus the extra sword, of course.

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When Monday came, he had enough time to think things over. He decided that he was going to follow through and ease into things to see where they took them. On the outside, it would seem as if nothing had changed since he had always projected himself to be kind and gentle. On the inside; however, that would be where the biggest changes would lie. That ‘true voice,’ as he called it would hopefully be suppressed to the point where he wouldn’t have to hear it. All he knew was that he wanted to keep an open mind going into things.

When he got to school, he noticed that Delilah hadn’t arrived yet. Figuring that he was a bit early, he plopped down in his chair and began to set up. He glanced up at the clock and noticed that homeroom started in five minutes and she still hadn’t arrived. One by one, his classmates filed in and took their seats, and yet, Delilah was not among them. Soon, the bell rang and her seat remained empty.

Hmm… where is she? It’s only her second week here at school and she’s already absent? I hope nothing happened to her over the weekend. If she doesn’t show up late, maybe I can text her on my lunch break and… oh wait. I don’t have her contact information. I guess there goes that idea. I guess I’ll just wait and see if she turns up for now.

Homeroom passed and there was still no sign of her. The same was repeated for the first, second, and third periods. By the time the lunch bell rang, it was quite obvious that she wasn’t coming in. Sebastian retreated to the storage room for lunch. As usual, he took out his sketchbook and tried to draw a new character. Just like on Friday, he was having difficulty concentrating. Last time, the stress and anger he had felt overcame his mind and sent him to the nurse’s office. This time, he couldn’t stop thinking about Delilah to the point where it was the only thing on his mind.

What is happening to me? I mean… I know what’s happening to me but why am I so worried about her? Our friendship isn’t at a stage where I should be this concerned about her. She’s absent. She probably has a good reason for it or something. More than likely, she’ll be back in tomorrow and I can just ask her. There’s no reason for me to worry or obsess like this… is there? Or is this a natural feeling that comes along with friendship? I mean, it’s not like I ever experienced something like this before so… ugh… never mind. I’m just going to eat my lunch and forget about drawing today.

Sebastian did just that. He scarfed down his typical paltry lunch and headed back to class to finish out the rest of his day.

The next day, he returned and Delilah was, once again, absent. One day was probably nothing but two in a row made him become really concerned. As the day progressed, he wondered if there was anything that he could do. After the final bell, he began to walk home and that’s when it hit him.

Wait… last week she told me her address. She lives on Circle Drive which is the last street on the left after you go past Ambrose. It’s only like an extra five-minute walk. I wonder if she would be okay with me stopping by? I guess there’s only one way to find out, huh?

Hold on. What am I doing!? I mean, I know that I decided to accept her friendship but I also said that I was going to ease into this whole thing. Taking the initiative and going over to her house isn’t exactly easing into things. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea, after all.

Then again, I am kind of worried about her and it’s the only way to find out what happened. I could just wait another day and see if she comes in tomorrow but what if she doesn’t? Then I’ll be even more worried than I am now. I guess I’ll just head over there and see what’s going on. It is the best option right now.

Since he knew it was on the left-hand side of the road, he checked for traffic and then crossed over. He paid attention to the street signs and found the one that said Circle Drive. It was called that because the street had two entrances. The roads formed a large semi-circle, hence the reason for the name. Sebastian had no idea which side of the neighborhood Delilah’s house was on but he was going to figure that out one way or another.

He took the closer of the two streets and noticed the house numbers. They were in the 3000s and hers was 4265. That could only mean that her house was on the other street. Before he headed there, he glanced across the street to the other side and noticed that those house numbers were in the 4000s.

I get it. So the houses on the inner part of the circle are numbered in the 3000s and the outer part is the 4000s. That makes it easy to figure out.

Sebastian walked to the other side of the street and began to pay attention to the house numbers. It started with 4005 and went up in increments of ten from there. He figured that he had a bit to go before he would make it to her number. Despite the neighborhood being a giant half-circle, you couldn’t even see the bend from the street’s entrance. Sebastian had to walk quite the distance before he could see the bend and by the time that he did, he was only in the 4100s.

I guess I should have gone down the other entrance after all. Looks like the 4200s are on that side. At least the exercise is doing me well.

Sure enough, he made his way around the entirety of the half-circle to the other side. Finally, the houses hit the 4200s. As he walked past each one, he silently took note of their numbers

4235… 4245… 4255… and 4265… we’re here.

Sebastian took note of the house. It was a tall two-story home that was pale yellow with white trim. There was no garage, just an empty driveway. He began to wonder if she was even home or if it just meant that her parents were at work. Regardless, he had come all this way so he figured that he would see it through.

He walked up the stone walkway that led up to a set of three stone steps in front of a wooden porch. The walkway had seen better days and had several cracks and missing pieces in it. He had to be careful where he stepped so he wouldn’t accidentally trip. With nerves surging through his body, he slowly reached out and pressed his finger against the doorbell but he didn’t push it in yet. If he was going to change his mind and turn back, now would be the time to do it. Instead, he reaffirmed himself and pressed the button.

He heard the sound echo throughout the house. Soon, he heard the thumping of footsteps get closer and closer until the door opened. On the other side of it was Delilah who looked a bit out of sorts. Her hair was slightly messy and she was only wearing an oversized black t-shirt and grey and white plaid boxer shorts; however, despite her appearance her face lit up when she saw Sebastian standing there.

“S-Sebastian!?”

“H-Hey… I hope I’m not bothering you or anything.”

“No! Not at all! Please, come in!” she said as she cleared her throat.

He took her up on the offer and entered her home. He took a quick look around and noticed just how spacious it was. What he also noticed was that there were still a ton of moving boxes strewn everywhere.

“Don’t mind the mess. We moved in and still haven’t decided where everything should go yet. My parents are pretty particular about those sorts of things. So… what brings you here? I have to admit that this is quite the surprise.”

“Ah… you weren’t at school so I was, you know… just wondering and whatnot.”

“Wait. You came to check up on me?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Aw, thanks!! You don’t have anything to worry about, though. I just caught a minor cold over the weekend. I’m already feeling better and I should be back at school tomorrow. Say, speaking of weekends, how was your trip to go see your father?”

Yeah… about that. I kind of want to tell her the truth but I’m not sure how she’s going to take it. Besides, if I tell her that I’m just some messed up kid, she probably wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore. That’s kind of funny how that was the goal this entire time and yet… here I am wishing for the opposite.

“It was fine. I just hung around the house. He put me to work in the yard… typical father/son stuff. Nothing special.”

“But at least you got some time to see him. I bet he was really happy to see you.”

Suddenly, memories of his father shouting at him about how annoying he was echoed through his mind. Sebastian had to do his best to keep his composure and not shed a tear. Somehow, he managed to crack a smile.

“Yeah, he was.”

“That’s good.”

“Say, I know I just got here but I do have some things I need to take care of before my Mom gets home. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing. I hope you don’t think it’s rude of me to leave after just getting here.”

“No! I get it! It was still really sweet of you to think of me, though. I’m really happy that you stopped by!” she said followed by a light cough.

“Me, too. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

Sebastian headed out and felt relieved that she was okay. As he headed home, for the first time since he thought Bryce was his friend, he was looking forward to going back to school the next day.