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Repair

The next morning, Sebastian woke up one year older and to a brand-new week. Even though he was seventeen now, things didn’t feel all that different. He still beat his alarm clock to the punch, and he still got ready to go to school in complete silence. The only difference was that he now sported a thin mint green band of rope around his wrist and had a genuine smile on his face. Even though he blew things out of proportion during his birthday, what came of it at the end was something truly magical… even if it was an impulsive mistake on Delilah’s part.

Mistake or not, it gave Sebastian something to think about. He thought back to how Delilah had acted toward him ever since they had met. She acted a bit giddy at first but the more that Sebastian caved, the more comfortable she became around him. Then, at the mall on Friday, she took a really big leap and gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek which she claimed was an early birthday present. As innocent as that was, after what happened yesterday, he came to understand that it had a much deeper meaning than that.

However, it wasn’t just a bit of shopping and a kiss on the cheek that happened at the mall. He had run into Bryce, Kayla, and Shiloh as well. Even if Bryce didn’t come to a decision, both Kayla and Shiloh were willing to give him another chance and that was something that he was eternally grateful for.

As he weighed all of that in his head, he decided that before he could move forward completely, he needed to repair the bridges that had been burned and there was no better time to do that than the present. As Sebastian was about to leave the house, he received a text on his freshly recharged phone. He read it and smiled as he changed directions and left the house through the front door. Shortly after, he arrived at the corner where Delilah was there to greet him with a friendly smile.

“Morning, Sebby!”

“Morning, Lilah!”

“It’s a nice morning today, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Nice and sunny. The air is a bit cold when the wind blows though but it’s almost winter so it’s to be expected.”

“Yeah. A perfect day where nothing embarrassing is sure to happen, haha.”

I guess that incident is still on her mind. Everything seemed fine when we ate dinner together yesterday but she must have been holding herself back in front of my mother. Either that or she was trying to suppress what she did but it’s apparent that it’s still on her mind. Maybe I can smoothly change the subject to help get her mind off of it.

“Not yet, at least. I do hope things go smoothly because I decided to invite the trio to lunch today… and you as well, if you’d like to come. I want to clear the air with them and with Kayla and Shiloh willing to hear me out, I’m hoping Bryce will change his mind and join in.”

“That’s a good idea! I’ll come to lunch with you guys. I can be your emotional support if you need me to be.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Soon after, they arrived at school. The morning classes went off without a hitch; however, as lunch approached, Sebastian grew a bit nervous. He was mainly scared of what Bryce was going to say. He had only hoped that enough time had passed to think things through. However, the time for worrying came to an end as the lunch bell rang. Delilah leaned over and whispered ‘Good luck’ to him as he stood. He muttered ‘thanks’ under his breath and made his way over to where the trio sat. Bryce immediately took notice and didn’t look like he was happy to see him.

“Hey, guys. Um… I know we haven’t been on good terms for a while and after our run-in at the mall, I want an opportunity to sit down and just talk with you all. Would you mind joining me and Delilah for lunch so we can talk things out?”

“I already told you at the mall that me and Shiloh would be okay with hearing what you have to say so count us in!” said Kayla.

When they said that, they all turned their attention to Bryce for his response. He looked around and felt the peer pressure starting to weigh on his shoulders. Truth be told, he still hadn’t made up his mind and part of him refused to let himself be rushed into a decision like this. Unfortunately for Sebastian, that part of him was the part that he decided to listen to.

“Sorry, I’m not at the point where I’ve made up my mind. You two can go on without me. I’m going to sit this one out.”

“Oh, come on, Bryce,” said Shiloh. “We all used to be friends. Sebastian wants to explain everything. Nobody is asking us to become friends again… he just wants to clear the air and let us decide on our own. You should at least owe him that much.”

“Look. I said what I said and that’s my decision. If you want to hear him out, that’s on you. I’m not ready for it, okay? If I want to hear what he has to say, it’ll be my decision and mine alone!”

Bryce got up and stormed out of the classroom. Kayla let out a heavy sigh and apologized.

“There’s no need to be sorry, Kayla. The fact that you two are giving me your time is more than enough. I’m sure Bryce will come around someday but he’s right. If he wants to hear me out, it should be on his terms. I don’t want to force him.”

Sebastian looked back and signaled for Delilah to come over. She joined up with them and they all headed out back to the picnic table. They each took a seat and pulled their lunches out of their respective backpacks. Once everyone was settled in, Sebastian broke the ice.

“So, I guess I should begin with an apology. I truly am sorry for everything that happened between us and it’s all my fault. I’m sure that you remember my mother saying that I was sick when you invited me on that camping trip and after that, I started pushing you guys away from me. What you don’t know is the reason why I did that. Are you familiar with CTE?”

“Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, right?’ asked Kayla.

“Yep. That’s it. When I was five, my father had anger management issues and always took it out on me and my Mom. I don’t remember much from being so young like the things he would get angry about but one thing I do remember very clearly was that he would constantly tell me that I was an annoyance and that he didn’t love me. Whenever I asked him to play, he would respond by yelling at me. Then, things escalated one day. Even though I had a nightmare about it before, there was more to what I had dreamt about.”

“I remember him yelling “If you want to play, then let’s play!” He grabbed me by the shirt and threw me with one arm onto the floor of the living room and yelled at me to start playing. Since I took a hard fall, I began to cry. He, again, told me I was annoying and that he was sick and tired of hearing my voice. I was on all fours trying to get back up when he kicked me as hard as he could in the stomach. I remember the force knocked all of the air out of my body and even caused me to vomit.”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“He then got mad that I made a mess on the living room floor. He said he was going to teach me a lesson. My mother tried to stop him but he grabbed her and threw her into a small stand that contained a vase. I remember hearing it break and hearing my father blaming her for breaking it. He said that he was going to punish me for the both of us. That’s when he flipped me over onto my back and knelt, saying that he was tired of hearing me cry. He slapped me across the face so hard, it caused a ringing in my ears. Then, he did it again and my entire world became a blur. The last thing I knew was that he threw me again and my head collided with something. Still to this day, I don’t know what it was.”

“I don’t remember much after that. I remember seeing flashes of light and hearing my Dad arguing with some people. I then heard a loud bang and my Dad stopped yelling. It wasn't until I woke up in the hospital later that my Mom told me everything that happened. While my Dad was distracted with hitting me, she called the police. She tried to stop him after that but he slapped her and shoved her to the ground. When the police arrived, they had no choice but to shoot him. He died almost instantly when the bullet went straight through his heart.”

“As for me, that entire scenario left me with a severe concussion. They said if I were older, the chances of a concussion would have been lower but with me being so small, I suffered more damage than an adult would have. It left me with CTE and it became something I struggled with for a long time. While the concussion healed, I still live with CTE to this day. It can alter my way of thinking or make me blow things out of proportion. Like… having an episode due to CTE and missing out on a camping trip. My brain tricked me into thinking that you guys were ditching me on purpose. Or… when Delilah was late coming over to my house for my birthday yesterday and I believed that she had abandoned me.”

“Today, I take medicine to help manage it but it’s something that’s never going to go away. I have to live with it for the rest of my life but… I wanted to tell you this because, for the longest time, I truly believed the false memories that my CTE gave me. At the same time, I still have all of my true memories, too. It’s like living two completely different lives and believing that the fake life was real. I never really told anyone about this outside of Delilah after she showed me that it was okay to stop blaming myself for everything that happened and that it’s okay to have friends and to put my trust in them.”

“Still, CTE or not, I still ruined our friendship because of the things my mind created. I’m not asking you for forgiveness and, to be honest, I don’t think I deserve it. All I wanted was this one chance to explain everything so that you could understand what happened. All I can do is thank you for sitting there and listening to what I had to say.”

Sebastian had stared at the picnic table the entire time. He never once looked up but the first thing he felt was a hand on his upper back. Delilah had put her hand there to comfort him but what he didn’t realize was that her hand had been there throughout his entire story. When he finally realized it, it made him look up and the next thing he saw was Kayla in tears with her hand over her mouth. Shiloh looked as if she were on the verge of crying as well. Kayla shook her head ‘no’ as if she couldn’t believe that Sebastian had gone through all of that.

“This whole time… that was the reason for the sudden change in you?” she asked.

“Yeah. By the time I started Kindergarten, I was only a few months removed from the hospital. I was scared to talk to others which is why I always sat by myself. When you guys asked me to play kickball with you, it made me happy. But then… well… you know the rest.”

“If only we had known…” said Shiloh. “We could have been there to support you. We didn’t know anything.”

“Yeah but… the camping trip happened when we were all eight. How is someone who is eight years old supposed to explain to another eight-year-old about CTE when I didn’t even know what was wrong with me? At that time, all I knew was that something was wrong with my head. I didn’t fully understand what it was until I was older and by that time, I had already…”

“Yeah. Kids aren’t medical experts. It’s hard for us to grasp things at that age,” said Shiloh. “Still, I’m sorry that happened to you, Sebastian. Now that we know the truth, I don’t know if I can speak for Kayla but I, for one, can’t stay mad at you. Even though it was you who pushed us away, it wasn’t the real you that did it. The real you is in front of us right now. I forgive you, Sebastian.”

“As do I,” said Kayla through her tears. “As you told your story, I tried to imagine myself in your shoes. To feel what you felt. It’s so horrible. Like Shiloh said… if only we had known. Of course, I’ll give you another chance. Now that we know about your condition, it’s a lot easier to make sense of everything that happened and I agree… it’s not your fault. Your mind made you believe something that wasn’t real and how can you not believe what your mind tells you? So, I’m willing if you’re willing. Can we be friends again?”

‘You guys…” Sebastian said as he broke down into tears. Kayla and Shiloh came from around the picnic table as Sebastian stood. They embraced him in a hug and didn’t let go until he got all of his emotions out. “Thank you…” he said.”

“No. Thank you for telling us. We’ve missed out on so much. We have a lot of catching up to do!” said Kayla.

“Yeah. We should hang out someday… like old times and, OH! Of course, Delilah can come, too! I know you two are rather close so we’d love it if we could be friends as well!”

“Sure!” said Delilah with a bright smile.

Meanwhile, Bryce couldn’t help himself. He had followed them out to the picnic area and kept himself hidden; however, he heard everything that Sebastian had said. After hearing what he had to say on top of Kayla and Shiloh repairing their friendship, he balled up his fist and pounded it into the side of the school. Gritting his teeth, he stormed away back to the classroom.

That afternoon, the final bell rang. Kayla and Shiloh got up to leave but noticed that Bryce wasn’t going anywhere. They looked at each other with concern.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“No. Go on ahead. I have something I need to take care of.”

They noticed that he was staring right at Sebastian and Delilah when he said that. Putting two and two together, Kayla knelt down and almost came nose to nose with him.

“Listen to me. You better not do anything stupid, you hear me?”

“Yeah…” he said as he looked away.

“I’m holding you to your word, got it?”

She stood up and motioned to Shiloh to come with her. As they left, Bryce waited for Sebastian and Delilah to leave. Once they went through the door, he got up and made sure to keep his distance from them. He followed them down the stairs, out the front door, and through the school gates. Once they got far enough away from the school, Bryce looked around to make sure that the coast was clear. He quickened his pace until he was right on top of Sebastian.

“HEY!” he shouted.

The two of them stopped and turned around to see Bryce standing there with a not-so-pleasant look on his face.

“H-Hey, Bryce…” Sebastian said in a low tone.

“Look. Um… I want to talk to you… in private, if it’s okay.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said to Bryce. “We’ll be right back,” he said to Delilah.

Bryce pulled him over to the side, out of hearing distance. Delilah could only stand there and wonder what was about to happen. Bryce picked a rock up off the ground and held it in his hand. He looked at it while Sebastian wondered what he was going to do with it. The reality was that he was just fiddling with it as a way to help gather his thoughts.

“Look, Sebastian… I need to confess something. When you were talking with Kayla and Shiloh at lunch today, I overheard everything. I heard you talk about what happened with your father and what happened to your head. I… never once thought that you had brain trauma. When I heard that I got angry… not with you but with myself. I feel like such an idiot for not hearing you out sooner… for not trying to understand. I’m sorry and… that’s what I wanted to say.”

Bryce turned and went to walk away when Sebastian reached out and grabbed him by the wrist.

“Wait!” he exclaimed as Bryce stopped and looked back at him.

“C-Can we be friends again?”

“After all the things I said and done? After I instigated that fight between us?”

“I’m trying hard to move beyond my past… to leave most of it behind me. The parts that I want to take with me are the friends I left behind and that’s Kayla, and that’s Shiloh, and that’s you. They gave me another chance to make up for everything. I’m asking you if you are willing to do the same?”

Bryce stood there for a minute and mulled it over in his head. After a moment he looked up at him and nodded ‘yes.’

“I’d like that,” he said before he smiled at him.

“Thank you, Bryce. I truly mean that.”

“I know. Don’t go getting all sappy on me now. I heard you cry enough at lunch, you big baby!” he said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah but seriously. Thank you. I promise I’ll do my best to make up for everything.”

“Yeah. Me, too. I’ll catch you around.”

Bryce turned around and headed home. Sebastian walked back and rejoined Delilah. The two of them watched Bryce walk into the distance.

“Is everything okay with him?”

“Yeah, everything’s just fine. Thank you, Lilah.”

“For what?’

“None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for the strength you had given me. I have all of my friends back in my life, I’ve been forgiven, and I have a new friend… one that made all of this possible. So, again, thank you for everything. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.”

Delilah couldn’t respond to that. She quickly looked away as she blushed, trying to hide it from him. She then muttered something to herself

“So much for nothing embarrassing happening today.”

“Hmm?” he asked as he didn’t quite hear her.

“Nothing. Let’s go home! Besides, you still owe me some drawing lessons! I’ve got something I want to work on so as a thank you for helping you out, you’re coming over tonight to help me!”

“Haha, sure! It’s the least I can do to repay you for all that you’ve done for me!”

With that, the two of them headed home. The bridges that were nothing more than smoldering remains were rebuilt with supports that were stronger than ever. As they walked, Sebastian knew that there was only one thing left on his mind and it would be one of the most important decisions of his life.