Part 1: The Hero Party's Lurking Misunderstanding

The moon hung high in the night sky, casting an eerie glow over the vast, empty fields. The air was thick with tension. Hidden in the shadows of the trees, Loraine Lionheart and Jelani the assassin crouched low, their eyes fixed on the chaos unfolding in the distance.

"Are you sure this is the right place, Loraine?" Jelani whispered, adjusting her black hood, barely concealing the skepticism in her voice.

Loraine, determined as always, narrowed her eyes. "Yes. The Demon Lord... er, I mean, 'Farmer Tetsu' is right there. He may be trying to live a normal life, but we can’t let that happen. We must stop him before his farming abilities ruin the world."

Jelani raised an eyebrow. "Farming abilities? Is that really what we’re dealing with here?"

Loraine ignored her, her eyes locking onto the strange scene unfolding before them.

Across the field, Fujino was standing awkwardly in the middle of his land, covered in leaves and twigs. He was holding two candles on his head, doing what could only be described as a bizarre ritual dance. His arms flailed about in an exaggerated rhythm, as if summoning something... or maybe just trying to get his balance.

Jelani's jaw dropped. "What in the name of all things cursed is he doing?"

Loraine clenched her fists, watching in horror. "It’s… it’s some sort of demonic ritual! He’s channeling his power, trying to summon dark crops, I’m sure of it!" She shook her head in disbelief. "We can’t let him succeed with this madness. This is exactly the kind of chaos he was born to create!"

Jelani’s face twisted in disgust as she muttered, "This is... this is not what I imagined when I signed up to save the world."

As they continued to watch, they saw Fujino trip over a rock, causing one of the candles to fall off his head and land in the dirt. He quickly scrambled to fix it, his face a mask of intense concentration. The whole scene was an absolute mess.

"Uh… Loraine," Jelani whispered. "Are you sure this is the guy we fought for three years?"

Loraine nodded, her face set with a grim expression. "There’s no mistake. This is Fujino Tetsuya. He may be in disguise, but there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s up to something terrible."

Fujino’s voice echoed through the night as he muttered to himself, seemingly unaware of his audience.

"Come on, you stupid crops! Grow! I’m doing everything right… except… maybe I need more leaf coverage...?"

Loraine and Jelani exchanged a look of disbelief.

“...Did he just talk to his crops?” Jelani asked, bewildered.

"Shh!" Loraine hissed, trying to focus. "He’s clearly lost his mind. We need to stop him before he—"

Just then, an explosion of cursed vines erupted from the ground, crashing into nearby trees. Fujino flew backward, his body colliding with a pile of compost. He lay there, twitching, his hands desperately trying to push the vines off himself.

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“GAH! WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO END IN DISASTER?!” Fujino shouted into the night.

Jelani turned to Loraine, her eyes wide. “This… this is what we’re trying to stop?”

Loraine clenched her teeth, watching as Fujino struggled on the ground. “Yes! This is the demon who nearly destroyed the kingdom! He’s an unhinged disaster waiting to happen.”

"But…" Jelani trailed off, unsure how to process what they were witnessing. "He doesn’t even seem dangerous anymore. He’s just… kind of pathetic."

Part 2: The Gacha Game of Farming - Fujino’s One-Hour Farming Trial

Fujino lay in the compost, his body twitching in frustration as the golem drones loomed above him. He had just been through the most humiliating display of his entire existence. Dark magic vines. Cursed crops. The whole night had been one disaster after another.

He pulled himself out of the dirt, his hands still shaking with anger. His entire life had turned into a ridiculous parade of failures, and now—now he was about to be scolded by a bunch of flying robots.

The drone’s voice blared out from above him.

"CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED A TEMPORARY FARMING PASS FOR 1 HOUR."

Fujino’s eyes bulged. "What?!" he shouted at the sky. "What do you mean a temporary pass?!”

The drone continued its cheerful, robotic tone, completely ignoring his existential despair. “Enjoy your farming for 1 hour! After that, please apply for the full permit.”

“ONE HOUR?! That’s the best you can do?!” Fujino wailed. “I’ve been fighting against heroes, against gods, and this is how you repay me?! A ONE-HOUR GACHA TRIAL??” He flailed his arms dramatically, his frustration reaching new levels.

Is this some sort of joke?! I get an hour’s worth of ‘permission’ to farm, but only if I’m lucky enough to pull a good gacha roll?!

He turned to the golem drones, hands on his hips, and narrowed his eyes. "What kind of system is this? I’ve been treated like a hero-slaughtering Demon Lord for years, and now I’m playing farming games with the government?!”

He glared up at the drones as if they were the source of all his misery. “Screw you, you flying gacha boxes. You think I’m going to take this seriously? You think I’m just some lucky pull on your stupid farming simulator event?!”

He jumped up, shaking his fist in the air. “WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!”

The drones hovered slightly lower, as if contemplating how best to respond to his outburst.

"To continue your farming, please make sure to complete the required 'ritual dance' as outlined in the instruction manual." One of the drones announced flatly.

Fujino blinked.

"A RITUAL DANCE?" He couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “Is this a joke? A freaking dance? This is supposed to be a demon farming world, and you’re asking me to... dance for my crops?”

He glanced at the ground, his mind whirling with thoughts. Maybe if I do it, I’ll get another hour of farming. Maybe this is just part of the game. A daily bonus or something.

"Fine!" he shouted to the empty field, his voice echoing. "I’ll do your stupid dance! What do I have to lose? A free gacha hour of farming? Sure, I’ll dance like a fool. Why not?!"

Without a second thought, he began performing some nonsensical, wildly exaggerated movements. His arms swung up and down like he was trying to imitate a chicken. He spun in circles, clumsily stomping his feet like he was summoning crops with the worst rhythm possible.

"YES! COME TO ME, YOU STUPID CROPS! I WILL SING TO YOU!" he screamed, utterly delusional at this point. “MAKE IT A SEVEN-STAR PULL, DAMMIT!”

I can’t believe this is my life. Demon Lord Tetsuya, summoned for farming rituals in a world that makes zero sense.

The drones, unfazed by the spectacle, hovered in place, occasionally making clicking noises as they processed his movements.

“Farming success rate: 2%,” one drone announced, its tone dry and indifferent.

Fujino paused mid-spin, a look of utter disbelief on his face. "What?!" His arms dropped to his sides. "2%?! You’ve got to be kidding me! I’ve been trying to grow a carrot for an hour, and I get a 2% chance of success?!"

The drone beeped again. “Please complete the ritual dance within the allotted time or face farming restrictions.”

“Oh, I will!” Fujino shouted, not realizing how ridiculous he sounded. “I’ll face your farming restrictions! I’ll show you all what a broken system you are!”

But deep inside, a tiny part of him just… wanted to farm. He really did.

Loraine grit her teeth. "It doesn’t matter. We can’t let him live like this. We’ll get him back on track, even if we have to drag him kicking and screaming!"