Part 1: Fujino Wakes Up to His New Reality (A Life of Suffering)
The morning sun crept through the cracks of Fujino's barely standing shack, casting golden rays over his half-dead, completely unmotivated body. He lay motionless, his face frozen in an expression of pure existential dread.
"…Ugh."
That was the only sound he could muster.
Then, his trauma hit him like a truck-kun isekai special.
Yesterday.
The Hero Party Invasion.
His front door exploding into a shower of splinters. Loraine Lionheart standing in the debris, cape billowing dramatically, screaming:
"YOUR RETIREMENT PERIOD IS OVER! COME BACK TO WORK!"
His brilliant (read: absolutely moronic) attempt to pretend to be a carrot farmer, hoping that dumb comedy logic would save him.
"Who?! Demon Lord? Never heard of him! I am… uhh… Fujino the Carrot Farmer!"
Jelani, the party's assassin, not buying it for even a second and attacking him immediately.
Him dodging in pure panic, only for his hand to somehow land right on her chest.
The unholy silence that followed.
The horrifying physics of the situation leading to more accidental fan service, making him look like the perverted final boss of all hentai games.
Jelani, frozen in absolute horror and rage, then letting out a scream so soul-piercing that he was pretty sure it shaved five years off his life.
The entire Hero Party retreating in chaos—not because they lost the battle, but because their assassin now had severe second-hand embarrassment trauma.
Then, later that night, Fujino had been alone, lying in bed, replaying the moment like a broken record in his head.
"Oh god… I actually groped a woman. My first ever physical contact with a girl… AND IT WAS DURING A LIFE-OR-DEATH FIGHT."
His face turned red at the memory. His body twisted under his blanket as he struggled against his own perverted thoughts.
"NO, STOP, DEMON LORD MIND! STAY PURE!"
He clenched his fist, his face morphing into a twisted demonic expression as he fought against the rising thoughts in his head.
But then… a quiet realization settled in.
"...Still, at least I got to touch something nice before dying alone."
A tiny trickle of blood dripped from his nose.
And the worst part?
He actually whispered "thanks for the meal" before passing out.
Part 2: The Grim Reality of Unemployment (Fujino's Farming Plan)
Fujino sat on a rock, staring at the empty plot of land behind his shack like a man who had just realized his entire life was a scam.
A long, painful sigh escaped his lips.
"This is it, huh? I went from Demon Lord to… to… a goddamn farmhand?"
Another sigh. Longer. More dramatic.
Then, pure self-mockery mode activated.
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"I can't believe I got isekai'd into an anime worse than the ones I used to complain about."
He dragged his hands down his face.
"You know the ones I'm talking about. The trash-tier isekai anime where some high school loser dies, wakes up in a fantasy world, and gets OP powers… but instead of fighting, he just opens a farm and somehow all the girls love him for it."
He glared at his plot of land, like it personally offended him.
"Is that what I am now?! Am I in 'Reincarnated as an Unemployed Demon Lord Who Farms Potatoes and Accidentally Makes a Harem'?! IS THIS MY LIFE?!"
A leaf gently floated by.
He swatted it out of the air in rage.
"NO. NO, I REFUSE. I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS. I'M NOT SOME LAZY ISSEI-KUN FARMER-PROTAGONIST!"
Silence.
A butterfly fluttered past him.
His eyes followed it with soul-dead exhaustion.
"…I literally have no other choice."
And there it was. The final acceptance of his fate.
His career options were as follows:
Find a normal job. (Failed. Every single town rejected him, including the ones he didn't even apply to.)
Become an adventurer. (He tried. The guild master laughed in his face and threw his resume into a fireplace.)
Return to being Demon Lord. (Not happening. He would rather eat dirt and become one with the worms.)
And so, there was only one path left for him.
Farming.
"…Goddammit."
He stared at his hands. The same hands that once commanded armies. The same hands that had fought legendary battles. The same hands that had accidentally grabbed a woman's chest yesterday and now had permanent PTSD.
"I was supposed to be a final boss! A legendary villain! A dark emperor feared across the land!"
"Instead… I'm about to till soil like some side NPC in a mobile farming game."
His soul shattered a little more.
The wind picked up again, blowing dust into his lifeless eyes.
"…Fine."
His fists clenched.
Lightning cracked in the distance.
"FINE! IF THIS IS MY DESTINY, THEN I'LL BE THE GREATEST DAMN FARMER THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!"
Another dramatic gust of wind.
His cape-less, dirt-poor, retired-Demon-Lord aesthetic made him look way less cool than he wanted.
And thus, Fujino Tetsuya set forth to begin his Farming Arc.
His first destination?
The Farming Guild.
…Where his true suffering was only just beginning.
Part 3: Welcome to the Farming Guild – Where Dreams Go to Die
Fujino kicked open the doors of the Farming Guild, fully prepared to conquer this new path like a true Isekai protagonist.
He immediately regretted it.
Inside, a long writhing mass of humanity filled the guild hall—dozens of farmers waiting in line, some looking near death, others asleep, and at least one guy who had clearly gone insane from waiting too long.
The air smelled of despair.
"This is already worse than the Demon King's Castle."
A tiny halfling receptionist looked up from the front desk, her expression one of a woman who had long lost faith in humanity.
"Welcome to the Royal Farming Guild," she recited in the most deadpan voice imaginable. "How may I assist in your agricultural endeavors?"
Fujino marched forward and slammed his hands on the desk.
"I want to start a farm."
The receptionist blinked once.
Then she slid a 200-page document onto the desk.
"Fill this out."
"…What the hell is this?
"Your Farmer's Registration Form."
"…Why is it THICKER than my old war reports?!"
"Please list your full name, birthdate, birthplace, parent's names, grandparent's names, blood type, past occupations, all previous crimes, magical affinity, spiritual alignment, star sign, and your three greatest regrets."
Fujino squinted.
"Wait—'three greatest regrets'—WHAT KIND OF FORM IS THIS?!"
"Standard paperwork."
"I was a Demon Lord for THREE YEARS, and this is the most evil thing I've ever seen."
The entire line of farmers nodded in grim agreement.
Fujino took a deep breath.
Fine. Fine. He would just fill out the damn paperwork.
He grabbed a quill and—
"…Wait. It says I need a permit."
"Yes. You need a Farming Permit to own land."
"So I can't farm without a permit?"
"Correct."
"Alright. Gimme a permit."
The receptionist slid another 200-page document onto the desk.
"Fill this out."
Fujino's soul left his body.
"…Why do I need a Permit to farm on MY OWN LAND?"
"Because it's the law."
"Who wrote this law?"
"Duke Swinefist, Minister of Agricultural Licensing."
"…Swinefist."
"Correct."
Fujino clenched his fists.
"How long does the permit process take?"
"Three months."
The crack in his sanity widened.
"…Fine. Can I at least grow crops while waiting for approval?"
"No. That requires a Temporary Farming License."
"HOW DO I GET ONE?!"
"Fill out Form 36-B."
Fujino flipped through the documents.
Then he froze.
"…This requires an 'Official Farmer's Certificate.'"
"Correct."
"How do I get one?"
"You need to own a farm."
"I CAN'T OWN A FARM UNTIL I GET A PERMIT!"
"Correct."
Fujino screamed internally.
"…So to summarize: I need a permit to farm, but I can't get a permit without a certificate, but I can't get a certificate without a farm, but I can't have a farm without a permit."
"Correct."
"…IS THIS A FKING PUZZLE?!"**
The receptionist shrugged.
"You may attempt an Appeal with the Minister of Agriculture."
Fujino perked up.
"Oh! Finally, a solution! Where is he?"
"Currently on vacation in the Elven Kingdom for three months."
Fujino grabbed his head.
"THREE MONTHS?! HE LEFT THE COUNTRY?! WHO APPROVES PERMITS WHILE HE'S GONE?!"
"Nobody."
He wanted to die.
This was hell.
This was true, endless suffering.
"This is worse than when Loraine broke my front door."
He collapsed into a chair.
"I fought heroes. I fought dragons. I fought GODS."
"But I can't beat BUREAUCRACY."
A single tear slid down his cheek.
And thus, Fujino's Farming Arc was already a disaster.
To be continued…