Chapter 22 - The Storm (cont.)
Hitomi clutched Tara’s side once more before thrusting her hand away and scowling. “You… you were just as much at the will of my wind as the others.”
Tara rocked her head slowly. “I remember you ‘influenced’ my speed to save Kimi from an accident with a bus, then leave a little note. And I remember you used me to spy on these three, at first.”
Hitomi shook her head. “You shouldn’t have remembered any of that…”
Tara bowed her head. “Some eluded me, but mostly because I felt lost in the chance for boundless, child-like joy.”
Hitomi stalked around the room and came to Miki. Sumi kept her distance from Hitomi with Pussy looking out. Her guard had fallen a little, and she’d taken to licking her paws, but her eyes still glanced towards Hitomi every so often.
Hitomi ground her hand into her head. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be. I planned this. I planned it perfectly!”
Kimi regarded Sumi and Pussy. “Clearly you didn’t plan it as well as you thought.”
Hitomi hissed, “I did! It was so much easier when… I wasn’t in this stupid human body! I could see all the variables! Just a few careful gestures and I could send everything spinning the way I wanted! It was perfect until…” She crumpled into herself. Nana’s body shuddered. Hitomi gasped and gripped the couch.
“I can’t have any more delays! You’re all trying to delay and confuse me! You… hate me!” Her eyes were fixed right on me and there they stayed. The wind wavered. I noticed the remaining zoned-out Mecchen girls, Mami and Miki, began to blink their eyes and look around.
Hitomi’s focus was on me. “You keep fighting me! Maybe… maybe you’re all… just like... Maybe not… but I’m tired of waiting!”
The wind charged up again. Miki and Mami darted out of the couch and slipped over to Kimi. They shot questions at her until the wind drowned them out.
Hitomi shut her eyes. The next sound was like a bomb. Wood splintered and glass groaned. Shards ruptured all over the floor. A blast of air lashed at the room and swirled everything into a fury.
Hitomi’s hair paled and flowed against the wind like pointed jets of smoke. Her purple eyes blazed. “I will rend this world apart and harvest every bit of influence I poured into it to make sure I get my sisters back… but… if you know why… tell me…”
The wind disrupted the silvery dust, gathering it around Keiko, Kimi, and myself. Something other than my own thoughts told me that not only was it in all things around, but also all people. Shioriko, Carolyn, and Nina. Every person we’d ever seen in this world and every name we’d heard. All human beings were in danger from Hitomi.
I wanted to answer her question and tell her something to quell her violent mood, but I couldn’t comprehend what Hitomi so desperately needed to know.
I just shook my head.
Everything else shook in response.
Hitomi heaved a breath from her lungs. “YOU ABANDONED ME!” All I could hear beyond the gale was her voice.
“Why? Why? WHY?! I loved you… I loved you so much. And you left me all alone…” Her words shuddered in her throat and the winds gasped back, rocking Mecchen House the other way.
I tried to calm the raging fire inside which threatened to curl back in on itself or burst forth and told her, “I don’t know why. But… from the visions, it seems like we all loved you very much…”
Hitomi rubbed her hands on the sides of her eyes. They trembled. “Past… memories. Wishes for how things used to be. And I’ve given up most of them so that I can recreate what is gone…”
She glared at Mami. “I gave them up to the rest… and a clump of Toki’s old papers I saved…” Then she turned her gaze to Miki. “As well as the next door dog I remembered that Keiko loved so much…”
Her gaze returned to me. “I kept so very little for myself. I promised I would make new memories when my sisters were restored to me…”
I took a step towards her. Another thought slipped into my mind from somewhere else. “You’ve given away so much of yourself. How can you tell what you really know or feel anymore?”
Hitomi shook. A blast of air pressed against the walls on all sides. “I know! I remember! You left me alone… in the dark…” She whimpered and hid her face.
The fuzzy sensation gripped my thoughts again. I tensed up and shut my eyes. The wind vanished. My eyes couldn’t open, but everything seemed to be filled with a pure, silvery glow.
A few feet away in this silvery space stood my female form. Her face looked like colorful flames through a kaleidoscope. It seemed like she had countless, beautiful faces but I could only perceive a single one. She smiled gently back at me. She watched me a moment and said, “Hello, Kelly.”
I looked down. Some approximation of my male body showed before me.
I looked back at her and I said, “Hello… what’s going on?”
With Katsumi’s energy inside me, I had to wonder if…
“I’m not Katsumi,” she answered for me. “I am you. I am that which Hitomi seeks to resurrect. The core of her sister, Arisu.”
My head hurt.
She gave me a sympathetic look. “Just know that Hitomi was wrong from the beginning. No matter what, just because you can throw your will at someone… Doesn’t mean you can make them into whatever you like. It’s a mistake she’s made before…unfortunately.”
I wondered and soon my thoughts landed on the Mecchen girls…
‘Arisu’ sighed. “What Hitomi has started, is her doing. It can only be undone by her…”
“How?”
She approached me and said, “I need to speak to her. I need to tell her the truth.”
“You can do that?”
She gave a little smile. “We are one and the same. I need only our willingness.”
I sure felt willing.
“Now open your eyes…”
-----
I was back but not in control when I returned Mecchen House.
‘Arisu’ spoke for me. She curled my face in a worried expression and said, “Hitomi-chan… please. Don’t make another mistake…”
The wind eased. Hitomi watched ‘me’. “You… who are you?”
My head bowed. “Your eldest sister…”
Her eyes widened. “Then it’s working… a-a-are you there, Onee-chan?” Her voice suddenly sounded so small.
Akiko crept closer. Keiko was standing near Ms. Ishida. Her eyes had taken on something of the sullen shade of Reiko’s, but I could still feel her own, familiar essence. Kimi watched me with a jagged hint of terror.
She wrung her hands together, pressing against the dress. “Come on, Kelly. Snap out of it!”
Hitomi put herself between me and Kimi. “Speak to me, Onee-chan… please.”
Ms. Ishida and Reiko looked like phantasms in the corner. Only Keiko kept them company. The twin ‘leftovers’ looked restless, as though they sought to separate but still were trapped with one another. Ms. Ishida’s features, from what I could see, still kept some trace of her gentle nature. I almost thought I could see a sympathetic smile, despite everything.
Sumi regarded the reddish-purple cat at her feet with subdued amusement. Pussy sniffed in its direction but kept focused on Sumi’s arm. Miki and Mami huddled together. Mami mouthed something to herself and looked down at her trembling hand. Miki rubbed Mami’s shoulder and kept glancing at Hitomi. Tara found a quiet corner to herself.
What ‘Arisu’ said next, I felt vividly, “You have done terrible things to precious lives, my sister.”
Hitomi shook her head. “I had to do it. It was the only way.”
“You were wrong about so many things… Please listen to me.”
Hitomi covered her ears. “NO! …You’re not my sister! You’re not awakened yet.” Her eyes dashed at Mami but lingered on Akiko. “Her. I’ll use her.”
She seized Akiko by the shoulder. Akiko squirmed and thrashed in her grasp. “You won’t really be my sister until you get back what you threw away for her.” The wind picked up again.
‘Arisu’ shook my head. “Please… let her go.”
Hitomi clutched Akiko tight. Air swirled around them both. “Tell me what she is and how you did it! My sister would know!”
My head bowed. “Even I don’t know for sure. But she is special. I know that. Nana was special too.”
Hitomi fumed through her nose. “What does Nana have to do with all this?”
The air felt warm.
“You embraced her as your daughter.”
It looked like all the air escaped Hitomi. She struggled to gasp words out. “I just found… it. It… it just thought I was… its mother.”
Akiko crouched to evade Hitomi’s grasp. She whimpered.
‘Arisu’ blinked my eyes once. “You touched and inspired her with what you call your ‘influence’. You breathed into her. She is your daughter.”
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Hitomi shook her head. “That’s not true! It can’t be! I FOUND… HER! I DIDN’T CHANGE HER!”
She glared out and the wind focused behind Akiko. “You’re not my sister. You’re still just the shell trying to trick me… but I’ll fix that.” The wind slipped through Akiko. Their hair flew everywhere, mixing like strings of salt and pepper.
Akiko’s body twisted and curled. She looked at me. The reddish glow in her eyes faded. Her body began to look less like a human's and more like a black mass. Her expression flowed with the same anticipation I saw when the tempest swirled around us outside the library. Her body seemed eager.
Then, Akiko’s expression changed. She looked down at the blackness that was once her hands. She looked at me. Her lips tensed. She shook her head and yelled with a voice that sliced through the wind like a dagger of sound.
“No! NO! NO!!!”, screamed Akiko.
She shook herself away from Hitomi and dashed over to me. Her words were so clear and forceful compared with her tentative mimicry.
She buried her head in my side and hugged me to the point of numbness.
‘Arisu’s words came out again. “I am your sister. I will always be your sister, no matter what you’ve done. I love you.” She stroked Akiko’s hair with the back of her hand. “And I know you loved Damon.”
Hitomi jerked back at the name. Her hand cupped her mouth. She grunted a moment and shook her head. “It’s not a memory…”
‘Arisu’ took a few steps towards Hitomi. “It is your memory. A piece left over after everything you tried to toss away.”
Hitomi looked up at us. “But… you did abandon me…” She spoke the words without declaration, as a hazy question.
‘Arisu’ touched Hitomi’s hand. “We had to leave, to help Nana. We made a choice, together with Toki.”
Hitomi tightened her fingers around my hand. “I thought my sisters were gone forever. Dead or worse…”
‘Arisu’ squeezed back. “Toki wanted it that way. Remember…”
Hitomi clenched her mouth. “I can’t…”
“Just relax…” ‘Arisu’s words were warm and comforting.
Hitomi took a long breath. Some of the silvery dust slipped into her mouth.
‘Arisu’ nodded our head. “And let the truth return to you…”
Hitomi took several more breaths before she spoke, “Toki was so angry… at me… and my other teacher. She turned away from me, like I no longer existed. And then you three were gone. I was alone.”
She gave a little gasp. “And it was my fault. I always knew it. But I hurt so much… I just shut it all off.”
Her eyes wandered. “It was after Cat. I made contact with Damon. He was so sad, kept in a white room. He had no friends.” She reached out for something invisible to the rest of us. “I just wanted to touch him and give him joy. I wanted to make something beautiful…”
‘Arisu’ caressed Hitomi’s fingers. “As it is with our kind, the Aeternalae. We all seek to create beauty in humans we encounter, to give of ourselves.” The strange word felt somehow familiar on my tongue.
Hitomi shook her head. “Aeternalae is a human word.”
‘Arisu’ added, “So is ‘Awakened’ and all the others you blew through.”
She spoke the ‘Aeternalae’ word again in a whisper. I knew there were others around us, but my focus was only Hitomi. She whimpered, “I tried to create… but what I saw scared me. It was strange and suffering. It was a twisting void. It cried out for me. I had no idea what to do…. I ran away in shame at what I had made.”
She shook her head. “I… I… abandoned her… to whatever fate.”
‘Arisu’ nodded slowly. The wind had fallen silent. I could hear the others breathing. Akiko rubbed her head against my side.
Hitomi breathed into her hands and looked up at me. “Nana loved me so much. She wanted to help me so badly. I arranged it so she could put out those items. I could’ve just placed them on my own… but it made her so happy to help me.”
‘Arisu’ raised my head and looked around. “I always knew you loved her. But you couldn’t give her what she needed…” She kissed Hitomi on the forehead. “Nana ran away too. Even Toki had a hard time finding her. She couldn’t get her out without causing pain. So, she sent us in.”
Hitomi looked up. “So, you were meant to be here?”
Another nod. “It was something like our… final exam in Toki’s instruction: understanding humanity. We nurtured Nana’s spirit in our smallest of actions, unaware of their magnitude.”
Hitomi’s mouth slipped open. “And I just came in and ruined everything. I used Nana in my plans. I used everyone in Brookville and that other world. I… I…I’M A MONSTER!”
Her eyes trembled again and again. The dust slipped around them. It clung like an irritant. From her face tumbled tear after tear in long, sparkling streams. She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed. Akiko peered at her curiously from the side.
The others were all watching me, Kimi, and Keiko in particular.
‘Arisu’ let a breath go and assured Hitomi, “You are not a monster. You’re young and you made some awful mistakes. But we’ll help you. You are not alone.”
Hitomi lifted her head. “My sisters have done so much for me… and I’ve just ruined it all…No… I need to fix my own mess. I need to make things right…”
‘Arisu’ grimaced. “It would take so much from you. You don’t have enough…”
The wind picked up. Hitomi spread out her arms. “I have this storm and all that's left inside me. Please, let me do this. Let me fix this.” Her voice pleaded with me.
A bracing gale swarmed.
‘Arisu’ grimaced. “You don’t know what could happen to you…”
She spoke above the swelling tempest. “I HAVE TO TRY! I have to take the responsibility!”
My face grew slack. My head bowed. “Set right the nine girls you created first. Set right the turmoil and loss. If we become boys again… let it be. Please.”
Hitomi’s face curled back and forth. She struggled to speak. The wind whipped around everything. The room grew white and hazy. Hitomi seemed to plead with her eyes. She tensed her face.
She nodded and yelled, “I PROMISE!”
The white crashed, leaving the clarity of a blank page across everything.
[https://i.imgur.com/pSt9YgG.png]
When I could see again, I was staring at an expanse of floor. It looked bright. Light shined through above me.
I could move on my own. I flexed my hand. I felt a weight on my side. I looked over and saw Akiko curled up beside me. She gave such a tiny little snore and clutched at a nub of my shirt. I felt around.
I was still Arisu physically. I remembered what ‘Arisu’ said, but what she spoke of remained closed off to me.
I braced Akiko with my arm and stood. She didn’t stir.
Keiko slumbered nearby. Kimi lay opposite her. Both were the same girls as before. Kimi was still wearing the pink dress and Yumeko sweater. She snuggled the plush.
I felt glad to see Ms. Ishida slumped against the couch. Her chest rose and fell slowly. Katsumi rested against her shoulder. Reiko was next to Sumi at the end of the couch. Pussy lay curled up in Sumi’s lap.
Mami and Miki lay against the other couch, nearest me. They both seemed so peaceful. Tara lay across the couch with her hands clutched below her chest. Her eyes slowly opened.
If not for what I knew, I would’ve guessed everyone just took a nap.
Then I noticed the broken windows and books askew.
I heard a whimper.
A young girl crouched in front of me. I was sure I hadn’t seen her a moment before. Her cheeks were red and wet with rivulets of tears. Her hair was white, save for a few grayish blotches and streaks.
She pressed her hands to her head. As soon as she wiped her tears away, they flowed forth again. She looked at me with purple eyes ringed in black and wailed, “Onee-chan… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry… I tried everything. I tried all I could. I fixed all I could, but Ami refused my help and Nana slipped away from me. I couldn’t bring her back. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried so hard… I’m no good. I don’t feel the wind anymore. I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
Her lavender eyes rolled backward, and she slumped against the floor.
The others began to wake.
I held Hitomi in my arms. She breathed slowly and murmured, “I’m so sorry…” in her sleep.