Chapter 16 – The Light and the Dark of Mecchen House

I just couldn’t articulate that name. I knew it with every fiber of my being, but I failed to find the words for it. It was something beyond the words I knew.

Still, I glared into the menacing dark and told it, “I know you.”

It howled with deep, rumbling laughter.

“You think you are strong? You are weak. You think anything you do matters? None of it matters. It is pointless to try. What do you think you can achieve? Nothing. You are nothing. Give up. She is mine, and so are you.”

I clenched my fists until they burned. “Leave her alone. NOW!”

It slipped behind Ami. “You are yelling in the dark. You have no power. You have no skill. You just watch and spin in circles. You are nothing. Let it all fade away. You will be happier.”

It was hard to breathe. Its presence felt like a cloak of dust sinking into me. I felt tired. My head throbbed. It slipped closer.

I held out a hand. “You are not to touch her or anyone else. I will stop you.”

“Talk. All talk. You talk, and you muse, and you talk. You say this, and you say that. But in the end… You stand around doing and being nothing. Everything you’ve done here is pointless. You will never leave this place.”

I pounded my hands. “Shut up! You don’t know anything about me!”

It chuckled. “Ooooh. I know you much more than you know me. You second guess. You leave questions unanswered and answers unquestioned. You linger in doubt. You hesitate. You watch while everything falls apart around you. You are helpless.”

As it spoke, a dour, smothering feeling began to curl around me. I waved my arms to clear the air. “NO! I won’t let you get into my head or do anything to Ami! I won’t let you win!”

“I have already won. You are too weak and timid. You cannot help yourself. You cannot save anyone. You are only helpless to watch their suffering as you sink with them. You are pathetic. Nothing you do will ever matter. You are a passive, worthless little girl and nothing more.”

I lunged forward. “You’ll see how I am!”

The dark being put Ami between me and it. I could see the tracing of her hollow eyes.

Her head drooped. “Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

“Then you hate me.”

“I want to help.”

“You aren’t helping me. I want this to help.”

“You don’t want this.”

“YES I DO! I don’t want to live like this!”

The dark being curled around her and said, “You are not helping her. I am. I am giving her exactly what she wants: True peace from her fear and pain. She does not want to suffer anymore.”

I felt raw. I trembled. Something was building inside me. “You’re a liar! She wants to live. I won’t let you do this!”

It cackled and receded. Ami receded too. Then, it burst forth. Something like obsidian teeth in row after row exploded in slow, rising circles. I dipped around and through the dark. I searched for the far wall. I couldn’t find it. The darkness just seemed to spread endlessly in all directions.

It bolted at me again, a thousand, rippling claws lashing out everywhere. Its features seemed to swell and contort like a blackened, kaleidoscope image. I moved quickly and, yet, it felt like I was moving around in a thick mud which clung to my legs. I bent out of the way as the teeth passed over.

The beast lashed out and I arched back.

“You evade everything. You run away.”

The creature chuckled and lingered in the deeper dark. It growled. My whole body felt tingly, like I’d just run a mile. It seemed all over like I had the nascent wings of a bird, eager to fly. The palms of my hands were warm.

I bent my head forward at the twistings of the dark.

“I will destroy you.”

“Too little. Too late.”

I darted towards it, faster than I thought I could move across the uneven terrain of shadows. I could see its features rise from the abyss. A roar thundered through the expanse. I stretched my palms out. They were hot.

The creature groaned and gave a throaty growl.

It darted away and cried, “This one is mine. I claimed it from her... Remember that…”

Then, it felt like the air flowed back in. I tumbled to the ground.

I looked around blearily. The light was back on. The features of the room had returned. Ami was standing to one side, staring down. She looked around and spotted me.

She jumped back.

“Wha...? How did you get in here?”

“What do you remember?”

“Huh?”

“What happened since you last saw me?”

From the look in Ami’s eyes, I figured she thought I was crazy. But, after what I experienced, I had to know what she remembered.

“Well. Katsumi was a jerk. I said a lot of stuff. I got really ticked. I’d had enough of her nonsense, so I went up here to get my stuff together and get to class early so I wouldn’t have to deal with her on the way. I went into my room. I was just picking up my bag and then… you showed up here.”

I had a thought. “Do you remember what time it was when you got in here?”

“Yeah. I looked at the clock when I came up.”

“Look at it again.”

She picked it up and stared at it.

“Did you… do something to it?”

“No. I didn’t. Ami… Something happened. There is something dangerous in this room. I’ve encountered it twice now. I was worried that telling you about it would upset you. But you need to know. It’s dark and frightening. Nina, Katsumi’s friend, told me about it. She said if your room is cleaned, then that will help drive it away. That’s why you have to let me clean it. This thing wants to really hurt you. It wants to take the ‘humanity’ out of you. I won’t let it do that. But I need your help.”

It was a lot to absorb. She set the clock down.

“I’m supposed to believe all that? My room is home to an evil spirit? I haven’t seen anything.” She brushed her hair back and folded her arms over her pink pajama top.

I focused my eyes on her. “I’ve seen it. You’ve said so many dark things in its presence. It seems to leech every happy thought out of you. It wants to make you feel worthless, hopeless, and unable to do anything. Its name is on the cusp of my tongue. I can’t say it, but this is not the kind of spirit you want to have around.”

I knew it wasn’t much to go on, and I fully expected she would be upset at me. But so long as she was angry and still existed, that was acceptable.

She let her arms slip and walked around the hills of junk with a natural step.

“The way you put it, I can’t refute it if something is really messing with me. I must admit, secretly, I have some... thoughts about being trapped and unable to move, controlled utterly by someone else. It’s not...sexual so much as it gives me a great feeling of peace and contentment. I just give myself over to another. I don’t feel pain, fear, confusion, or worry about anything. All the expectations my brother and others have set for me evaporate, and I finally feel like I can be myself.”

“But you wouldn’t be human. You wouldn’t really exist. You wouldn’t feel joys as well as pains if that happened.”

She leaned against a wall. “Well. That’s what I feel. It’d be a release for me. I don’t know if beings out there can make that happen, but I probably wouldn’t fight them if they did.”

I felt like my chance for Ami was slipping through my fingers. “You have so many people who care for you, who want you to be okay. Remember what happened when you fainted. All the girls around here sprang into action to help. Even Katsumi.”

Ami covered her face with her hands. “I wish they didn’t. I feel so guilty. If they just forgot about me, then that would be better. I could slip away serenely and with no fuss.”

I promised her, “I will always remember you, no matter what.” I didn’t know if that would help, but it was true.

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She sat down on her bed. “You really don’t have to…”

“I will.”

Ami curled her legs close, like the first time I encountered that dark spirit. I kept on guard. She laid her head on her legs. Her face seemed like a distorted sliver of flesh and eyes, with a pink curtain enveloping it from this angle.

“I’d miss Fuyuki, I admit that. My brother has done a lot for me. He’s given so much for my sake. It would be a waste… if I didn’t make more of this existence, for him. All the prayers I’ve given for his generosity would be tainted. He would be tainted because of me. So… I have to keep trying.”

[https://i.imgur.com/FL2ppth.jpg]

Ami

She looked at me as though she planned out an elaborate equation in her mind and she wanted me to check her work. I gave her a nod.

Ami stood and bent her mouth-line up like a muscle spasm. “Thanks. I need to get dressed. I’m not sure what to think about everything you’ve said. You still have my permission to organize things, but only if isn’t an inconvenience.”

“It won’t be.”

She bowed to me. I returned the bow. “Alright then, I need to get dressed for class. See ya…”

We passed each other as I made my way to the door. I turned to watch her. She walked as though motion were a strange act. She settled and fluttered. And she looked at the clothes hanging in her closet with intense longing.

I stopped by Tara’s door next, remembering my promise, despite the fact I was anxious to share what had happened with Nathan and Jamie. I gave two knocks. Tara seemed to open the door before I’d finished the first. She tugged me in with her gentle but irresistible presence.

“Arisu-chan! Welcome!” She had her arms raised high over her head with the palms out and waved to me as though she wanted to get my attention from far away. I returned a little wave.

“Hi, Tara. You have some outfits for me?”

She grabbed my hand and guided me over to her closet. My hands were soon full of dresses. They felt heavy. She added even more with a smile.

I turned my head to the door leading out to the hall and Ami’s room. I sure hoped she was okay. I glanced at the floor.

I sighed and told Tara, “Actually, I’m so sorry, but my heart just isn’t in this right now. I know I promised, but stuff came up with Ami, and I’m still really concerned about my friends downstairs…”

Tara giggled. “Silly, Arisu-chan! I don’t mind. I just want you to be happy. Remember? We’ll have lots of fun later. And I’ll set aside my favorites, and you can try them on to see if they fit okay! I love you, Arisu-chan!” She wrapped her arms around me with the dresses pushing against me.

Her presence was so warm. A sweet smell like apricots and honey passed to me from her and clung there. She set the dresses in a lovely pile on her bed.

“I hope you enjoy them, Arisu-chan! I’m gonna change my clothes and get ready for class.”

She slipped her top off, revealing such a cute, little lime-green bra and a matching pair of panties a moment later. She stood there and smiled. I squeezed my eyes shut as she reached up for the strap on her bra.

She poked me on the shoulder. “Is something wrong, Arisu-chan?”

“I’m not comfortable with this yet…I still feel like it’s wrong.”

“What do you mean, Arisu-chan?”

I couldn’t see her, but I said, “I haven’t been a girl for very long. It still evokes a strange feeling for a girl to be so comfortable around me.”

“But we’re both girls, Arisu-chan. It’s okay! I can’t wait for when we can try on bras together!”

I could barely imagine it. I bit my lower lip-line. “I’m gonna need some time. Please, Tara. It’s all so much so fast. There’s just too much to absorb.”

Her hand rubbed my arm. “I understand, Arisu-chan. Also, if you prefer Keli-chan or Keli-kun, just tell me. As I said, I want you to be so very happy with lots and lots of smiles!”

“Actually, I don’t mind ‘Arisu’, I guess. There’s just a lot of new stuff that comes with this. I promise to try and adapt but I need to take careful steps.”

She hugged me again. “Okay, Arisu! Will I see you downstairs before I go?”

“I will be downstairs. I hope to see you off.” I heard some fluttering and she added, “Don’t worry, Arisu! I’m decadent!”

I opened my eyes. Tara was clad in a comically-colorful bathrobe and a beaming smile. She gave another, exuberant wave which threatened to disrobe her.

“Don’t let the Dark Meanies bite!”

I paused and turned back. “...What did you say?”

“I call them the Dark Meanies. They’re in league in the Death Urge in Yumeko! They have lots and lots of teeth. They can change shape. And they try to get you sad and depressed. They learn your weaknesses and try to chip at them. Yumeko almost got trapped by them but the power of love defeated them!”

I didn’t say anything but that sounded a lot like what I’d just encountered in Ami’s room. Although, the name lurking in my thoughts wasn’t Dark Meanies or Death Urge.

I put on a warm smile to reassure her, gave thanks, and left.

I lingered near Ami’s door. I could hear her moving about inside. The world felt at peace. There were no signs of any darkness under the surface but, somehow, I still felt it lingering and waiting for the right moment to strike again.

-----

I discovered Jamie stretched lengthwise across the couch, his arms resting behind his head.

“Are you…?”

He took a deep breath. “I still have it.”

“I see. Is Nathan around?”

“Still in the bathroom. Just like a regular girl.”

“Careful what you say…” I wasn’t sure if who or what was changing us had a sense of irony.

He snorted. “With how long it’s taken, I figure I scared it off. Or maybe it’ll just pass me over and leave me as a sissy boy.” He scratched himself in defiance.

“Well, there’s not just this to be concerned about. Remember that dark spirit I told you about in Ami’s room? It’s back.”

He kept scratching a part of himself I no longer possessed. He sniffed in a breath. Given his outward, feminine appearance and long, cascading hair, these gestures looked cuter than he intended, especially the quick burp.

“That thing? Again? So, what did it do?”

I began with Miki’s first warning and the presence of shadows across the ceiling.

He proclaimed, “I didn’t notice anything weird. I didn’t even see you go upstairs.”

I related the blackness of the room, like slipping into another realm, the ill-defined boundaries, and the strange voice.

“Seen it. Smell of dust too? Shifting form, massive amounts of teeth. Tries to make you destroy yourself. It was in volume two of the show Tara played last night. Juri-chan rescued the mysterious pretty-boy from one. The main character almost got trapped too. It’s your basic dark and scary monster. Like a ‘peer at your closet and hide under your covers’ sort of thing.”

“And you didn’t tell me…” I glared at him.

He shrugged. “You didn’t ask about it and, besides, it was just a movie. A lot of stuff happened earlier, and I didn’t really dwell on it.”

I massaged my forehead. “Okay. Let’s just say for a moment it’s coincidental. The fact remains that a terrible beast tried to attack me in Ami’s room. It said things. It tried to dehumanize her. It said something about a ‘mother’. Maybe Ami’s mother. And, most importantly, I knew it. I recognized it.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “I refer back to the aforementioned scary monster that hides in the closet.”

I clenched my fists. “I’ve had it up to here with your dismissals! It happened. Something tried to hurt me and Ami. It said all sorts of things to break us down and destroy us. But I was able to scare it off. Something got really warm inside me, like a flame, and it didn’t want to stay around. I feel it will be back though.”