Jenkins
That was very strange. Possibly the strangest thing since I woke up in the world of a video game. That may seem unbelievable but this was the first time events of the actual game occurred around me. To see the lines of where things are different, and where they are the same is strange. Dr. Chakwas’ lines were basically the same, however the opening lines were wholly different as our conversation wasn't the same.
Jenkins never once discussed biotics, in his defense he had at most a dozen or two lines throughout the whole game. That whole dying early thing made it so you didn't learn much about him or his interests. Not that I was behaving similarly to the original Jenkins. My own interests, involvements and efforts to prepare for what was coming meant that I had already changed how the world would react to me. More so than I thought possible.
It was a problem I was still coming to terms with even half a year into living here. I still thought of this world as a video game. That commander Shepard was the protagonist and I was just a nameless extra. But this isn't a video game. Least as I can tell this all feels and acts completely real. Which means me doing shit like improving a galaxy wide piece of equipment like the omni tool was of course going to draw attention.
My efforts to learn biotic science and try to help Kaidan means that I interact with Chakwas on a more personal level and more as a scientific peer, or student, compared to just some grunt. And then there's Shepard. My childishness may match Jenkins enough to go unnoticed but my fascination with things like the Normandy and the commander herself have not gone unnoticed. She seems more guarded and uncertain of me than she did in game, and why wouldn't she. I can't help but stare anytime she enters a room. My thing for redheads aside, the commander is quite possibly my favorite game protagonist of all time, so seeing her in person is awe inspiring every time.
I’m expecting her to confront me on it eventually, there’s no chance she’ll be cool working with someone whos acting odd around her constantly.
“Corporal Jenkins, can I see you in the Medbay? ASAP.” My omni tool comes to life as the commander’s voice comes through, firm in its tone.
“Ah, I’ll be right there commander.” Shit.
Sooner rather then later it would seem. She should have just finished the debriefing and been going down to the hanger to prep the mission. Instead she’s calling me to the medbay first. Private area she wants to talk without being heard. That cannot be good, but unfortunately it can't be ignored either. I make my way down to the medbay, a short walk given I was still standing with Dr. Chakwas right by the stairs.
“Good luck Corporal, try not to need too much medical aid.” The doctor gives me a wink and moves aside to let me pass.
I arrive in the medbay not much more than a minute after the request to see only the commander waiting for me. Part of me was hoping this was just a briefing that the game skipped, where Shepard fills in Kaidan and Jenkins on the mission. But it appears I wouldn't be so lucky as soon as the door slides shut behind me, Shepard presses a button on the console to gray out the windows that look into the common area of the ship.
She turns to look at me, crossing her arms and staring me down. She was shorter than I was, probably 2-3 inches or so, but she carried herself with far more strength and power. She was intimidating. While we were both technically soldiers of the alliance, Shepard was miles above. She was an N7, a commander, and she had lived through Akuze.
She had more experience in conflict than most veterans, whereas I was just a common grunt. And while Jenkins fought his fair share of batarian slavers and otherwise, that was before I took over. I had never seen real combat, not like the woman in front of me. And yet even in that moment of fear, of anxiety, in the brief moment she had her eyes locked on me I couldn't help but feel awed too. She was a living legend, in this world and the games I played so dearly.
“Jenkins, we need to have a discussion.”
“About-- about what commander?”
“The mission we are about to take part in has suffered some complications. While I was fine putting up with your quirks for a dry run I cannot bring you into an active conflict while I’m unsure of your intentions.” She kept her arms crossed and was watching me intently.
“My what… My intentions with what? Commander.” I quickly add the commander, trying not to forget or fall out of proper procedure. This was clearly not meant to be a casual conversation.
“Aboard the Normandy. In the Alliance. You're an oddity Corporal. You speak of wanting to prove yourself to the brass, and yet seem to have no care for taking credit for your engineering designs. You work on projects and make breakthroughs better served in supporting roles of this army, and yet when offered a position by Anderson in Alliance R&D you refuse. Your actions, words and decisions don’t match.”
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Shit. She knew more about me then I thought she would. The thing with Anderson happened weeks before I met Shepard or boarded the Normandy. She had looked into me.
“Then there’s how you behave around me. I’m your superior officer, more specifically I am your direct commander. While I have grown used to eyes following my back either in pity or curiosity of the ‘sole survivor of Akuze’ what I am not used to is the eyes of a wonderstruck child. You’re a grown man and a soldier, and yet act as though you’ve never seen an N7 or an experienced soldier.” Her tone raises slightly as she finishes the sentence, anger flashing through for a moment, although it doesn't feel directed at me.
“So what I need Corporal, is for you to explain why I should trust you to watch my back and fight alongside me in combat without getting either of us killed. If you can’t do that then Alenko and I will be landing on Eden Prime alone and I will personally request to have you transferred to a different ship.”
“NO!” I shout before I can stop myself. Catching both myself and the commander by surprise, although she quickly hides her reaction.
“I mean no commander. I feel my place can be best served aboard the Normandy.” I straighten my posture, returning to a proper military stance yet again.
“I apologize for my outburst commander, but I need to work aboard the Normandy.”
“Why? You have yet to give me a reason to be trusted to follow orders, much less work aboard this ship.”
Shit this was going to be tough. I need to win her over without sounding like a psycho talking about things that will happen. Things I have to be there for.
“Commander. Ever since I was a child I grew up with stories of Alliance soldiers. Of N7’s and Spectre’s. Heroes who go above and beyond all odds in the call of duty. Brilliant engineers, biotics, strategists, who all serve the greater good of the galaxy to save the day. I joined the Alliance wanting to be one of those heroes, and learned quickly that the military and war weren’t like vids.” Shepard is watching me intently as I speak, not interrupting.
“I think there was a time where I gave up on that dream, where I didnt think heroes like that could exist. Then, 6 months ago, word of Akuze reached the base I was at. An alliance soldier, survived impossible odds, a scenario that should have killed anyone in it. Suddenly there was this story of a soldier that fit exactly the ideas I had of heroes since I was a child. Every interview with you or your officers furthered that idea. Humble, brave, capable beyond measure.”
Her eyes softened ever so slightly as I continued, although winced visibly a the mention of Akuze. So far so good, reel her in with the rest.
“It woke something in me. I wasn’t an elite soldier, or an unshakeable survivor. I’m not a hero. But there are people out there who are, and even If I can’t be one, I can work hard. Hard enough that I could be of use to such a person. Even for a moment, to aid them with something I made or even just by following their orders. I’m not a genius commander, frankly I’m probably pretty dense when it comes to most things. My breakthrough in omni-tools is just a determination to succeed, and happened to go about it in a way so foolish no one considered it.”
She looks down at the omni tool extension on her forearm, then back over at me, any hostility seemingly vanishing from her gaze.
“So I know I’m odd. I know my actions and behaviors don’t always make sense. But the truth is that I come across as a naive because I am. At least in my ideas of heroes roaming the galaxy saving innocents from unknowable threats. And as strange as it is in the week I’ve been aboard this ship I’ve felt it. This ship, its crew. You. They are exactly the things from those kinds of stories. So I understand your concern, but I can guarantee I will follow your orders as you need in combat. Because rushing into combat alongside someone like you is the only dream I've had that might have a chance of coming true, and I will not waste it.”
I finish speaking, taking a second to breathe. At some point during talking it stopped being a lie. It stopped being an exaggeration to stay aboard this ship and became what I truly felt. I hoped that was for the best. The best lies are always made of truths.
The commander's eyes watched me, she uncrossed her arms and looked away for a moment, thinking to herself. Before she turned back to face me.
“Corporal, I’m not some ideal hero like from a story or vid. I’m a soldier, and I’ve done unheroic things in the name of a mission before, and I’m certain I will have to again. If you follow me then you may have too as well.”
“I’m aware of that commander, while I truly believe you are a hero, I understand what it means to be a soldier that has to follow orders. But if you're making the orders I believe any actions I take will be for the greater good of as many as possible.”
Another round of silence follows, as she refuses to take her eyes off me. Eventually she speaks again. As she holds out her arm.
“Then welcome to my ground team Jenkins. We’re dropping in 10. Be ready.”
I grasp her hand and give it a firm shake.
“Aye aye commander.”
She hit the button to clear the window and walked out of the medbay refusing to look back. I watched her go, before catching my breath and following after her. Finally, the story was about to begin properly. All that was left was ensuring I survived the opening act.