Jenkins

I was currently seated in the cockpit of the Normandy, watching the view as Joker brought us into the docks at the Citadel once again. It was a view I don’t think I could ever get tired of. Even after everything that had happened since we were last here, I couldn’t help but just stare in wonder. The feat of engineering it took to build something of this scale. Even if the Reapers were dickheads one had to admit they had presentation mastered.

“It’s something you just can’t get tired of isn’t it?” I turned to look at Joker as he spoke, thankful I had chosen the seat on his right, allowing my remaining left eye to see him without having to overcompensate.

“I mean how could you. Look at that. It’s just… impossible. And there it is.” I look back out the window as I take back in the view. The purple of the nebula frames the dark purple machinery of the Citadel perfectly. If I had any talent for art it would be inspirational. As it was it was just impressive.

“I had seen the structure's scale while I was aboard its system. But I must admit from this view… It is remarkable. A feat of engineering.” Beta’s voice, once again came through my omni-tool clear and concise. He had to deal with a damaged omni-tool for nearly 20 hours, so the first thing I did once I got him back from Tali was get him placed in a new all-in-one device.

This one was even larger and more impressive than my original, covering the majority of my right forearm, instead of just the lower half near my wrist. It served partially as a brace that protected the raw burnt flesh that covered most of the arm in the first place. The upgrades were recent, something I cobbled together after learning what Tali and Beta had been up to while I was unconscious.

“You know, I still don’t love having that thing up here in my cockpit. Just wanted to put that out there.” Joker looked at where Beta had projected himself from my arm. While I still hadn’t met with everyone about his origins yet, most of the crew was at least aware of his existence in general terms. Joker made it clear he wasn’t a fan.

“Don’t worry Joker, he’s not connected to the ship, he can’t touch the Normandy’s systems at all.” Joker just grimaced at the thought, before giving a shrug and looking at our destination again, we were closing in on the alliance docks.

“Well good. The last thing I need is some AI trying to pilot my ship when I can fly it better than they can.” The side eye remained, but I couldn’t help but chuckle. Joker would be fine. He went from hating the AI in his ship to being romantically involved with it in the games, so I seriously doubted he would have a problem with Beta for long.

“While I understand the desire to protect your station, no organic could fly better than a synthetic. Processing speeds and direct interface with the entirety of the ship's systems give an advantage no level of skill or talent could overcome.” That is if Beta wasn’t trying to start just as many fights.

“I’m sorry Jenkins I think your little program friend there is broken since there’s no way it just insulted my piloting skills aboard MY ship.” Joker turned to glare at Beta’s construct

“No, no. He was just um… Anyway, I should go get ready, you know, need to get a new eye and all sorts of stuff so I’m just going to- BYE!” I turned and quickly made my way out of the cockpit moving as fast as I could, I was not getting in the middle of a fight between Joker and an AI. That would just be exhausting.

“Dammit Jenkins, you keep that thing out of my cockpit you hear me!” Joker’s chair rotated to face me so I could hear even more clearly as I left.

I just did my best to keep walking, not interested in further encouraging that argument. As much as Beta had seemingly grown since I’d blown myself up, there was still a struggle when it came to understanding how people would react to something.

“I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused. I do not understand his hostility, I simply stated the truth of matters.” But despite the lack of understanding, perhaps the largest change was an effort to understand where his mistakes lie.

“Well, picture it this way. You took his purpose, the one thing he has devoted himself to, and told him he’s never going to be the best at it. As far as he’s concerned you were saying an AI would be better than him. It’s pretty insulting.” I explain as I walk, the looks I receive from the communication team going ignored. They know better than actively questioning the situation, instead just sharing their confusion about what exactly Beta is.

“I see. Should I apologize then? While my words were true I never intended any offense. Moreau is genuinely a talented pilot, and it’s more than likely any AI that could surpass him would have to be specifically designed to do so.” Yup, there’s been some character growth going on with Beta. What on earth happened, he only went on one short mission without me, I wouldn’t have expected this kind of emotional intelligence.

“Maybe later, although I would leave the bit about your words being true. Apologies don’t have as much meaning if you say what you said was still true.” I chuckle at the image and Beta just flickers his hologram off, seemingly done with the conversation.

A lot seemed to happen while I was unconscious, and I’m not sure how I felt about all of it.

Tali coming to speak with Beta while I was asleep was the least of things, and relieving. She had made her displeasure with my secret clear when she learned, and she had every right to be upset. It’s why I didn’t argue when she stormed out, not bothering to let me explain things. I was hoping she would come back before I went under. Yeah, surgeries in this world had no risk of greater complication, at least in something as simple as an eye removal, but I was coming from a world where any surgery had a chance of things going bad. The idea of my last conversation with her being like that… wasn’t pleasant.

When I woke up and Chakwas told me Tali had taken Beta, I was worried; it was the first place I went to check. Well, technically the second, getting back into a proper uniform was slightly higher on the list but given everyone’s rooms were in the same hall it wasn’t a long detour.

When I knocked at Tali’s door I think she was surprised to see me up and about. Chakwas neglected to tell people I was awake, although I wasn’t sure as to why. I was even more surprised when the first thing she did was apologize to me.

She said she had let her anger and hurt cloud her judgment. While she still believes AI is dangerous and shouldn’t be trusted easily, she also knows better than to assume every AI is like the Geth. Beta was helpful, and despite everything her teaching claimed it had become clear to her he was exhibiting true emotion. Simulating responses constantly, not just when it was useful. As far as she was concerned as long as it was on their side, it was a useful tool.

The ease with which it helped them deal with an armature made that even more apparent. Since that moment it seemed Tali was fine working with Beta, so fine in fact that by the time I was awake, she had finished the project. She gave me shit for never asking my AI for help because he figured out the speed issue we were having immediately.

The fabricator had a maximum output speed. Now obviously both Tali and I had disabled the soft cap they put into its software to prevent battery overloads, but even with an enlarged battery pack it just wasn’t fast enough to print a blade at the speed I was looking for. This was a problem caused by the fabricators themselves, as they had a top speed the device themselves could gather materials that would then print into a blade. The way fabricators worked on the omni-tool was to gather materials from matter around the device, or stored within the omni-tool itself, manufacture the exact makeup needed for what was being produced, and then print the project.

The speed issue was in the gathering and manufacturing process, not the printing. Beta simply suggested that we have the device store and save the blade’s material once it was created. Instead of discarding it when used the fabricator would break it down and store it again for later. It would result in removing some of the storage space used for materials that were normally kept within the omni-tool since they weren’t considered something to be easily found when on a mission, but it was of little consequence. I could count the number of times I needed the fabricator in the field on a closed fist.

Besides, it was an issue that was easily solved. I glanced at the omni-tool currently on my arm. It was larger than most omni-tools, nearly twice the length of a standard one, covering the majority of my forearm, and it was thicker as well. It had lines that glowed orange tracing across the surface in a pattern that followed its metal plating. It was overkill in size, but given what it could do… I was in love. A functioning omni-blade wasn’t the limit of this thing, as Beta had also figured out the power issue with trying to make tech armor.

Turns out a miniature ME field generator would be all it would take, and while the power draw would be intense on a small omni-tool, there was a reason this one was twice the size. While it wasn’t strong enough to project a full additional layer of armor over my body, it served what I considered a more important combat role. Clenching my fist and twisting my wrist was all it took to generate a large glowing orange shield. It was rectangular and as tall and wide as my body, and given the testing I had put it through, it would stop everything up to medium caliber rounds. The shield followed my arm's path but kept itself angled across my body. A simple program but it allowed me to angle and type on the omni-tool without rotating the shield and exposing myself.

I dropped the shield once more, smiling to myself as I continued on my path. I got a couple of looks once again as I activated it, but it seems blowing yourself up kept people from asking too many questions.

I wish I could say that was the most eventful thing that happened, and perhaps by some definitions it was. But I was much more concerned with the changes to canon. Shiala was still aboard the Normandy. She was going to be handed off to the Council so they could question her before handing her over to the Asari government. Given that Shiala was supposed to either die or stay at Zhu’s Hope, being carted back to the Citadel as a prisoner wasn’t supposed to be an option.

Not that I was complaining, since another person telling the Council that Saren is a threat is always going to be a good thing. It was mostly the larger implications that worried me. Like yeah, our handling of the Thorian was definitely different than in the games, but was Shepard not being there all it took for something this big to change? I wasn’t sure, and that more than anything is what worried me.

My biggest advantage, my biggest contribution to everything is that I know what is supposed to happen. I can prepare and plan and make things better. Yet everywhere I looked it didn’t really seem like things were going better. Differently sure, like Fai Dan was supposed to die but now he’s alive. But in exchange both Tali and I almost died. And barely having done anything differently I was already seeing things change that I didn’t think should.

What was going to happen? The more I got involved, the more things would change and the less useful my information became. It was a careful balancing act trying to juggle both changing things without changing too much. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I could play things safe, try to be less involved and safely ride things out, but that’s the mentality that led Eden Prime to get as destroyed as it did in the games. To my- Jenkins’ parents dying.

I decided to make changes, and yeah it led to meeting Beta, but that’s been the only major benefit so far. How long until these changes make my information useless? What good can I even do if I don’t know anything?

I looked back at my omni-tool, the new blade and shield were good, but it wasn’t enough. If I was going to change things I needed to be strong enough to face the consequences when they reared their heads. The first step was getting the Techarmor ability working, but I needed to think bigger. I shouldn’t just be grabbing abilities I know become available, I should be at least trying to push the limits of what’s even possible.

New plans and new work to do. The next step was better armor, for myself of course, but for the others too. Weapons, armor, abilities. Hell even finding a solution to Kaidan’s migraine problem would be beneficial. I needed to stop putting that kind of work to the side, and given I was going to be benched for a while given the whole missing eye thing, maybe this was the time to take advantage of it. I’d need something to keep me busy anyway, might as well put in some supply requests. There was someone I hadn’t talked to yet while aboard the ship, and It was about time I fixed that.

I entered the elevator, taking it down to the cargo bay. It wasn’t as large a space as one would expect but it still held everything that was needed. Armor wracks and lockers for the team, the Mako, and of course the ship quartermaster Chris. He had a last name.. Probably, but he introduced himself as Chris when he got aboard and I hadn’t spoken to him since. His job was mostly managing the supplies our ship went through. Food, ammo, and any additional weapons we might need on the fly. Here’s to hoping he takes requests.

“Hey. Chris right?” I approach nice and friendly. Layering on my Jenkins charm nice and thick.

“Hm. Oh, Jenkins. Glad to see you up and moving around. Yeah, Chris works just fine. What can I help you with?” Mission success, he seems friendly actually. I’ll have to remember to add Chris to the list of people I should talk with more.

“I was actually going to speak with you about requesting some gear and materials. I’ll be benched aboard the Normandy for a while so there’s some stuff I wanted to try tinkering with.” Chris looks from me to the tablet he seems to be going over before sitting against one of the crates.

“Sure, it’s not much trouble. Thankfully, you caught me at a good time. Just finishing up the list of stuff to get when we are aboard the Citadel. Let me tell you, a Spectre’s budget and access opens up a world of options.” He taps on the tablet a few times, before looking back to me. “What did you want.” That’s what I loved to hear, no implications of limits or reasonable asks.

Frankly, Chris here was much better than his game counterpart. In Mass Effect, you needed to find licenses from companies to buy different goods from him. That’s right, buy goods. As part of its balancing, you had to buy equipment from Chris here, which is why he was called a requisitions officer and not a quartermaster. Here in reality though, we didn’t have to pay for anything and our quartermaster had access to pretty much anything you could ask for, especially while docked at the Citadel.

“Okay, quick question first. Can you get your hands on the Spectre weapons and armor?” The question is important since that changes what tools I’m requesting.

“Ah looking for the big guns right away huh? Well, the short answer is maybe. The long answer is not personally, but if Commander Shepard puts in the request then I can pick it up for her.” Ah, fair enough, makes sense they probably want the Spectre themself making the request and not just anyone from the Spectre’s team. Limits how much of the heavy firepower is getting out in the wider world.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

“Hm, well I’ll talk to Shepard about it when I see her next. Since you can’t I’ll give you my list without those things.” I watched to make sure Chris was taking the notes before I continued.

“Okay, so for rifles I need two Lancers, two Thunders, and a Kovalyov.” I wanted to do some modifications, give Ashley a new rifle that packed a heavier punch, and Garrus something that could fire a bit faster than what he had.

“Shotguns are easy just two Tornado’s and a Hurricane. Heh definitely naming that project Category 6.” Chris just chuckled and noted it down. Wrex would appreciate this one.

“I’ll also need a Striker pistol, two Stiletto’s, and an M-9 Tempest.” I definitely needed to upgrade my pistol, and while at it I should get Tali a SMG. They might not have existed in Mass Effect 1 but they were killer in the later games. No reason not to grab one early.

“And finally a Naginata and a Volkov Sniper Rifle.” Chris just shakes his head noting it down before looking at me.

“Anything else for weapons?” I loved a man who knew better than to say no to overwhelming firepower.

“Oh better get a bunch of different explosive materials and different ammo casings.” No reason I only had to modify the weapons, often the round being fired was as important, if not more.

“Jesus, alright you got it, Jenkins. What are you even planning to make with all this stuff?” Oh, Chris, I can’t reveal that sort of secret early. But, you’ve been good to me, so I’ll give you a hint.

“Oh just violating the Geneva Convention, nothing to worry about.” That got a look of slightly more concern, but he quickly packed it away. A professional who knew he wasn’t paid enough to ask.

“Okay, that’s more firepower than I expected, but doable. What else?”

“Armor, I need a couple of suits. Two Colossus, two Predator, and one of the Crisis and Hazard armors.” One of each of the best armor suits is Colossus for raw defense and Predator for shields. I should be able to make something decent from those. The Crisis and Hazard suits were mostly curiosity, since you could only get those armors through console commands in the games, I wanted a look at them.

As far as my objectives went, I wanted to mimic some armor that didn’t quite exist yet. The defender armor worn by N7 agents during the Reaper War was exactly what I needed. Heavy, durable, and letting me pack on as much ammo as I wanted. It lacked mobility and shielding, but I planned on compensating that with Tech armor and some other ideas. As for the other objective, well I needed a gift for Shepard. A suit of armor that suited her close combat preferences. I was going to try and invent Terminus armor two years early. I had an idea from what I remembered of the armor’s codex description in the second and third games, but I was basically building it from scratch. I was confident I could figure something out though.

“I feel like I’m getting supplies for an entire squad and not one man. You need all this just for tinkering?” Chris asked the question, giving me another look over.

“What can I say, I’m a hands-on learner.” I give him as good a smile as I can. I can’t imagine it’s great with bandages covering half of my face, but thankfully he seems to take it in stride.

“Well. I’m not one to ask too many questions. Spectre budgets are at a different level, so getting this stuff should be no problem. If you want any Spectre equipment though you’ll have to talk to the Commander herself.”

“Of course, of course. Actually, there was one more thing I was curious about.” Chris gave an eye roll but it was clear it was good-natured. “I was wondering If you could get your hands on any small Mass Effect field generators. Smallest ones you can find if possible.” Chris gave me a strange look, before tapping on his tablet a few times.

“I’ll do what I can Jenkins but field generators are pretty regulated materials. Even if I might have the authority to get one, but finding some in the time we are aboard the Citadel… well, I’ll see what I can do.” It was better than I expected.

Mass Effect field generation ended up in nearly everything these days, vehicles, manufacturing, and weapons. The potential even one of those generators has is crazy, so they are pretty heavily monitored. It’s the same reason natural biotics are considered so dangerous, and why they are also registered for tracking by the Citadel and Alliance governments.

Most species capable of biotics still require implants to generate any fields of note, with an exception made to the Asari. Their biotics can be enhanced with implants, but as far as any research shows they are the only race that can generate external fields without an implant. Krogan has been known to generate internal fields without implants, although it is exceedingly rare. Humans have only been developing biotics over the last 50 years or so, but already our biotic birthrates are higher than both Turian and Salarians, in which biotics are exceedingly rare. The Quarians almost have no biotics, likely because of their sterilized environments and the necessity of element zero for their ships making it a waste to spend on enhancing biotic potential.

The point is that messing around with biotics is expensive and limited to official channels among nearly everyone. It was a stretch being able to get my hands on a portable generator, but if I could… The things I could do.

“If possible I would like to request supplies and information on neural interface systems.” Beta flickered to life on my arm, making his request. His appearance caused Chris to flinch before he nodded and made an additional note.

“Right, I’ll see what I can find. I do hope that’s all, I do need to gather supplies for the rest of the Ship as well.” He gave a light smile that I quickly read as the ‘don’t press your luck’ smile. Strange how often I see that one.

“Nope, that should be it. Thanks a bunch, Chris, if you can’t get your hands on any of that stuff just shoot me a message while we are around the Citadel, and I’ll see if I can get Shepard to cut some red tape for me.” Chris just nodded, appreciating the understanding I think. Without any further dialogue, he turned back to the many crates of supplies he was looking through.

I scanned the rest of the hanger, looking around to see if there was anyone else there, but it seemed empty. Wrex, Garrus, and Ashley spent most of their time down here, but they were nowhere to be found. Must have been getting some rest or preparing for docking aboard the Citadel. Not that I would complain, what I wanted to do next I’d rather not have an audience for.

As I walked I took the chance to speak with Beta quickly. Our destination wasn’t far but I was curious as to what exactly he was interested in neural interfaces for.

“Beta, why did you want information on Neural Interfaces?” No point in not being direct with the question. Beta and I’s rapport had only gotten better since I’d been awake. I’d almost think he considered me a friend if I didn’t know any better.

“I am curious. The Interfaces that I have seen in research are about Organic minds interfacing and controlling technology, but I wonder if the inverse is possible. Synthetics interfacing and communicating with Organic systems directly.” Oh. Oh shit. That was… concerning.

“Beta I hope you’re not trying to find a way to control my body yourself. Don’t get me wrong I agree we are close but that’s a level of connection I’m not sure I’m ready for.” I play it off as a joke, but Beta wanting to control an organic is worrying.

“No! I do not wish control over your, or any organic body. I do however wonder if a middle ground could be achievable. A mutual interface allows for equal communication. Organic adaptability and emotional understanding paired with synthetic processing speeds and calculations. A true partnership.” Oh. OH SHIT! Beta wanted a mutual link. Like what Alec Ryder ended up designing for the Andromeda Initiative. That was something I had considered as well, but I figured Beta would never go for it. Here I am being proven wrong.

“Well then. I can’t make any promises, but that’s something we can look into. Being able to interface directly with an organics system could be very beneficial, optimizing neural pathways and information processing allowing for better exertions and physical control, not to mention the potential boons it would give to medi-gel healing. Being able to directly interface and guide those healing nanites would be huge.” I started to ramble, the ideas and potential causing me to stop walking as I began muttering to myself about the possibilities.

“You are supportive? I appreciate that, I would… enjoy, working on such a project together.” Awe Beta was even excited to work on it. Were we actually friends now? That’s so cute!

“Of course Beta, I’ll throw it on the list. That sort of information should be helpful, and I know where we might be able to find the most current breakthroughs in that area of study. We will see about it once we are on the Citadel.” Beta accepts my response, taking my response as the end of our conversation and disabling his hologram once more.

I started moving once more, not having to go far before I arrived at my destination on the same level as the ship I was currently on thankfully. The Brig.

The door opened as I approached and I made my way into the familiar room. The one cell door was closed and sitting behind it on the bench, legs crossed in a meditative pose was Shiala.

Her eyes didn’t open despite clearly having heard the door open. I took a position, leaning against the desk on the opposite side of the room, facing where she was sitting.

I honestly didn’t know what I was accomplishing being here. My curiosity was piqued since by all rights she shouldn’t be here, yet here she was. It’s not like speaking with her would change that result, but it just felt necessary. Like it was something I had to face.

“Are you here to question me further, or are you just there to watch.” Shiala’s voice was sharp but tired, she had an intensity to her question, but there was no weight following it. A facade of toughness then?

“Let’s go with questioning, although I’m not even sure what I wanted to ask.” Shiala’s eyes snapped open suddenly at the sound of my voice and before I realized she was on her feet standing against the bars themselves, staring at me. The intensity behind her eyes was different now, complete. She was looking at me like prey.

“You. I didn’t realize it was you who had come. I thought you would be unconscious longer.” There wasn’t a question there. She was staring things at me, waiting to see how I responded. This woman was weird, something was going on here that I didn’t know about.

“Guess I’m tougher than people expected.” I keep my response calm, and uncaring. Facing down an angry Krogan was much scarier than this Asari locked behind bars. Worst case Beta could message half the ship before she could exit the cell if she tried anything.

“You are more than most people expect, I can imagine.” Her gaze never left mine, as though she was trying to stare into my soul itself.

“Hopefully. Being underestimated is a strength I’ll use to kill Saren.” I don’t know what this woman’s deal was but I can match her intensity. I’m not going to back down or show weakness just because she has some problem with me.

“You speak with certainty.” Again, it’s not a question. It’s a statement. I simply nod in response, she has something she wants to say, and I’ll let her.

“What are you, Corporal Jenkins? The Thorian pierced your mind and exerted its control. It was taking you the same way it took me.” A lack of questions gives me no room to respond as she continues.

“Yet when it started reading your mind, your existence, it found something. No, you showed it something. Something impossible. Something that made even it flinch and hesitate. I saw it, fragments of what you showed.” Her gaze continued staring through me. But what she was saying had me more concerned than her stare.

I didn’t realize the Prothean holding her made the connection two-way. She saw my memories, the fighting the Thorian in the games. How much she understood what she saw was still a question, but this was much more dangerous. I don’t answer, continuing my stare.

“You knew I was held by the Thorian. You knew killing it would free me. You knew it would die, no matter what happened. How? What are you?! WHAT DID I SEE?!” She raised her voice her hands grabbing the bars as if demanding an answer.

I watched her for a moment. Silent on the outside, thankful that half my face was covered in bandages keeping my reaction more hidden. What to do here. I couldn’t tell her, she saw it but her reaction made it clear she couldn’t accept it, or her mind couldn't understand it like that. What would my reaction be if someone arrived saying that my world was a game, and I was just a unimportant side character?

“...” In the end, there’s nothing I can say. She wouldn’t accept my words, she was looking for an answer that would reassure her. One that could put what she saw into an easy-to-understand explanation. And there wasn’t one.

“...” At my silence she calmed, releasing her bars and stepping back. She took a breath, seeming to calm in an instant. Her eyes reopened and they focused on me their intensity falling short. There was nothing to be gained here. I turned making my way to leave when she spoke again.

“You are touched by Athame. Your Siara is absolute.” What? I turned to face her, not even bothering to hide my surprise.

“What?” She was watching me now, reading my reactions. She spoke again more calmly.

“One of our Goddesses. Athame. She controlled prophecy and fate. Those blessed by her were seers. They received visions of the future, or sometimes the past. These Matriarchs are some of the most influential in our culture. I did not think humans could receive her blessing.” She is still watching me as she speaks, her voice gentler now, and her look of intensity replaced by something else.

“Listen, I’m not sure what you think I am but I’m not touched by some Asari god. Hell, you're pretty much the first Asari I’ve spoken to one-on-one. And what the hell is a Siara.” I was genuinely confused, I considered myself well versed in Mass Effect lore but this information was new to me.

“Siara is our belief. The universe itself is consciousness. It is a collection of all beings that have lived, a glorious collection of every life and knowledge in the universe. When we die our spirits join this collection, shaped and reformed before inhabiting new life elsewhere in the galaxy.” Okay. Religious doctrine sounds kind of like reincarnation which is closer than I would like to admit about what happened to me. Still, I doubt some Asari religion pulled me from a world where they didn’t exist to one where they did.

“You said my Siara is absolute. What does that mean?” She looked down closing her eyes and speaking as though she was reciting some ancient text, which in all likelihood she might have been.

“When the consciousness of individuals joins the whole, its fragments are scattered and torn apart before being reassembled for new life down the line. Occasionally, through study and focus some Asari can remember their fragments and experiences of their past, becoming absolute with the whole. Only Asari have been capable of this, but you have visions and knowledge of the future. Your Siara has fragments of an Asari seer. One you’ve learned to remember somehow.” Oh okay. She was just looking for an answer that explained things.

I had heard about seers when studying biotics when I first woke up here. They didn’t mention this Goddess or Siara, but the idea was since gravity was so deeply tied to time and the perception of reality it might be possible for biotics to see and predict the future. There’s been zero evidence that could actually confirm this as a possibility, so it was pretty much disregarded as a crack theory, but it seems the Asari at least partially believed in its possibility. There was only one problem with her theory.

“Sorry, as nice as that lecture and the idea is. I’m not biotic. At all.” My words took a moment to sink in, and she stepped back, falling to sit against the bench as she stared at me.

“Then… how? How did you know, how did you see all of that?”

“...”

I can’t answer. Maybe I would have considered it, in another circumstance, but as things were telling her the truth wouldn't be a comfort. It would only be upsetting, only leave her with more questions. I just grimace, before turning again to leave. She calls out again, once more interrupting my departure.

“Wait! Just… I just need to know. What was supposed to happen to me? What am I supposed to do? I saw myself freed but there were so many variations, some I’m…” She sounds choked for a second, and I realize why this eats at her so badly. She saw that she could die, and it would change little of the plot. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do.

“What is my goal supposed to be? Please.” I turn to look at her again, she’s staring down at the floor. Her pride was crushed in a desperation to know if death was all that awaited her.

“You help Zhu’s Hope. The people there will suffer the side effects of the Thorian. Your experience and knowledge following a Matriarch is needed to get them help. And when the Reapers come you lead them to fight. If that doesn’t suit you then do something else. There is no fate Shiala. Only the choices we make.” I turn and leave, not waiting for her response.

The door opens and closes behind me, and I feel a weight I hadn’t felt for a while. Knowledge, and the responsibility that comes with knowing the things I do. But the answer at the end is as much for me as it is for her. There isn’t a fate. The way things have wavered and changed already has made that clear to me. There is no set path, only the choices that we make going there. I know the situations that will arise, and how the big players will react to them, but in the end, that means nothing. People can change, they can make different choices. I needed to stop acting as though things were meant to happen, and simply face every decision as it was, not its potential effects.

Would it mean my knowledge would become out of date quickly? Probably, but it’s a small price to pay for the power to change what is supposed to be. I would just need the strength to face whatever unexpected threats arose. New and stronger abilities, weapons, and armor.

It was time to get to work.