I could almost feel my eyes unfocus, as I tried to take in every small detail that Mancin talked about. Broken from my thoughts by a cough. Focusing back on Mancin, I said: "Sorry for spacing out, I was trying to remember everything you said.” His shoulders shaking, Letting out a light laugh. He said, "There's no need to look so guilty. I just wanted to ask if there was anything you'd like me to go over again?”
Hmm, Forming runes came easily enough, and I know what position the spell matrix needs. So all I really need to do is find a way, to sense and alter the resonance and I'll be set. Squaring my shoulders, I said, "I don't think I misunderstood anything you said. If you don't mind? I'd really like to try applying what I learned and see if I can form a spell matrix.” His eyes gleaming as Mancin smiled at me. He said, "That's the type of spirit, I like to see in young apprentices. Willing to apply the things they learn and not afraid to take chances.”
Assuming my meditation pose on the couch, I closed my eyes. Feeling my awareness, sink into my body. Following the twists and turns of the mana. As it flowed smoothly, curling through me. I went right to work. Concentrating, I condensed the first runic image of the spell matrix. Filling it with mana, till it shone fully. Quickly moving on to the next runic image. I could tell all my previous failed attempts to form a spell matrix had paid off in, experience. Following the same steps, I used on the first runic image, I formed the rest of the runes. Using my awareness, to watch the hundred and twenty- five, glowing runic images float in place.
Trying to look past, the visual aspect of the runes. So I could feel the resonance of each runic image. Just as I was about to give up on being able to feel the vibrational frequency. After what felt like thirty minutes, of pointless staring. I felt a slight flutter across my senses. As I focused my awareness around that sensation. The slight fluttering sound, transformed into a loud buzz. Once I felt that transformation, it was like something inside me changed with it. I no longer had to concentrate my awareness. Just to struggle to grasp the resonance of the runic images.
As I used my awareness, to experimentally nudge and prod, the vibrational frequencies. I felt them harmonize as a whole. Working quickly, I began to connect the runic images. One after another, until the whole spell matrix came together. Releasing a harmonic resonance, this time, I could feel the difference. Just when I thought it was finally going to work. The spell matrix exploded, in shards of light and motes of energy. Being violently thrown from my meditative state. Trying not to let the throbbing pain, that began to beat at my temples, overwhelm me.
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Feeling the bite of my nails, in my palms. As the corners of my eyes started to burn, Frustratedly. I said, "I don't understand, I felt the resonance. The harmonic vibration of the spell matrix. Everything was fine one second and then bang everything exploded. I just don't understand what could have gone wrong?” Looking concerned Mancin said, "Take a deep breathe, being emotional is seldom helpful. When it comes to spellcraft, especially when you are dealing with spell matrixes. There is no need for you to be so worried anyway. There is always a cause when something goes wrong, and it's just our job to figure it out.”
Feeling my chest relax, after taking his advice. I said, "Thanks I needed that, it's just a lot to handle. Every time I get close, success just within reach. It's ripped from my hands, and I'm back where I started.” Letting out a sigh, He said, "Kyle, life is full of disappointments, and when you travel on the path of magic. Every step you take could be a step back. The most important thing to do is to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. Anything can be a lesson and a chance for you to grow as a person and a Magus.”
Tapping on his chin, He said: "Hmm, this is definitely an enigma, and you're sure you got the resonance, right?” Confidently, I said, "Yes, I'm positive I did. It was like… I don't have words, it just felt right.” Shaking his head in agreement, He said, "That sounds about right, for someone's first time dealing with resonance. So if it's not resonance what else could it be.” Looking at me seriously. Flipping his hand, causing a piece of paper to appear on the coffee table. He said, “Kyle, this is definitely not a proper behavior a Magus, but I would really like to help you. So if you would be willing to write down your spell matrix. I might be able to see what could be going wrong.”
It might be a spell matrix created by my past-self, but it's one of the more basic matrixes. At this point, just the thought of being able to finally form this spell matrix left me thrilled. Not hesitating, I began to sketch out the spell matrix. Leaning back, I took in the diagram of the levitate spell matrix, I had just finished. Raising my head to look at Mancin, as I pushed the finished diagram towards him. I said, "I trust you, plus I was never told I couldn't share it anyway.”