Frustration, no other could describe the trio’s feeling better than such. It had been a few hours since the interrogation, for it was around sunset in the luminary penitentiary. Captain Sylvia and her subordinates had already left the premises when Joel, Mik, and Dolisia were transported back to their old cells.
It was as if time rewound to the first day in the prison. No special treatment, no special cells, and no special sums of money. Though the living conditions are currently much better than how it originally was, it was still nowhere in comparison to the royal lifestyle of the trio just a few hours ago. Which of course left them with a deep feeling of frustration—so much so that they weren’t angry, upset, or any of the above. They were simply very confused.
“This is bullshit.” Mik blurted out.
The trio was holed in one cell, the dim sunset light creeping through the hallway windows enough to leave an orange glow across the hall and in the cell. Dolisia was laying on the prickly wooden bed, her hands resting under her head as she gazed at the ceiling. Meanwhile, Joel and Mik sat on the ground, resting on each other’s backs as they sighed in exasperation.
“I know, right?” Dolisia responded, “It’s genuinely absurd how we manage to free-fall to rock bottom every time we make a little progress.”
“Well, at least not rock bottom.” Joel comforted, “The guards are nice now, they still let us wander about. And we still have some money. How much?”
“10k.” Dolisia replied.
“10k, not bad. At least the Captain didn’t figure out our entire stash of Coe. We could probably make some decent moves when we get out of here.” Joel said, high from optimism.
“IF we get out of here.” Dolisia said, drowning in pessimism. “I don’t think we can, it just seems that we immediately go back to the starting lane as soon as we say: ‘Fuck, we made it.’”
“You’re a goddess, right?” Mik asked, “Are you the creator of life?”
“No, I’m a supervisor. All-father is the…well, manager. I don’t know if there’s a bigger god that created this.”
“Well, whoever it is that’s doing this-” Mik stated, his voice oozing with contempt. “He has the most awful sense of humor I have ever seen.”
“Stop the pessimism. I know there’s a way out.” Joel interjected, “I mean, you heard Sylvia? She said that we need to play nice to get our sentence shortened.”
“You mean be model prisoners?” Mik let out a dry chuckle, “Sounds boring.”
“Boring or not, who gives a shit.” Joel retorted, “If you don’t want to spend at least three years in this hell, then you better get your fucking act together. Plus…I’m worried about Luke.”
“Luke? Are you kidding me?” Mik interrupted, frustrated by Joel. “Who gives a fuck about him? He got kidnapped, so what? We have absolutely no obligation to be as nice as we were to him back then, who says we have to dive deeper into some uncharted shithole of a mess to save his wimpy ass?”
“He didn’t rat us out, that’s fucking what. And I feel bad for the dude, alright? It just doesn’t sit with me well knowing that we are kinda the reason why he’s missing, we’re the ones that forced him to hire us, remember?”
“Joel, use some common sense.” Dolisia interjected, turning towards Joel, “I appreciate your kindness, but ditch the chivalry and think a little. We haven’t even saved ourselves let alone worry about him. We need to see through our problem first since I’m not going to spend three years of my life rotting in a cell.”
“Well…I guess you’re right.” Joel sighed, his head leaning back on Mik’s. “I think I might know a way to get us out of here sooner, but we need to roll a twenty on charisma and luck.”
“I swear if it’s another bet about handjobs-” Dolisia fumed before being interrupted.
“Relax, it’s not that.” Joel calmed, “It’s not risky, but it’s extremely hard convincing him now that we have no power.”
“And who’s that?” Mik questioned.
…
“No, no, no!” The warden shouted, “A thousand times no!”
The warden dropped what he was carrying—a large, dirty wooden crate that reeked of fish. The crate was heavy, carrying an immense amount of paper and books. But it wasn’t the only one there, the warden’s office was filled with a dozen other crates filled with rubbish of all kinds, scattered about the empty office.
The warden stepped towards the trio, flailing his arms in frustration and anger.
“I’m sick of you guys! Every time I hear your names I know that my peace will get fucking penetrated! But you’ve about done it!” The warden fumed, “You want to get out? You should’ve shut up since day one! Now I’m getting fired because of you brats!”
“Nu-uh!” Dolisia interrupted, “Bad prison management! It’s your fault, prick! If you didn’t wanna get fired, you should’ve treated the prison a little more humanely!”
The warden was silent for a moment, his face flushed in embarrassment before he returned to packing his belongings. He was indeed being demoted for bad prison management and causing a disaster in prison with food poisoning and maltreatment.
“I don’t care, piss off.” The warden said, “Not like I can release you if I please.”
“We’re not asking you to, alright?” Joel interjected, “We’re simply asking you for a way to shorten our sentence, hell, maybe even abolish it! Is there any way we could act so nice as for that to happen? Or have something that could guarantee us that?”
“Hm…” The warden squinted in contempt at the trio, yet still processing a solution in his mind for Joel’s predicament. His mind snapped upon remembering something, but he rolled his eyes upon the thought. “Forget it, there’s no way.”
“Oh come the fu-” Mik blurted out.
“Or there is…but I’m not willing to risk it.” The warden explained, “The warden can, to a certain extent, decide if a prisoner should be released before due time. But I’m not willing to take that risk for you.”
The trio was silent for a moment as they heard the warden’s response. They were both ecstatic upon hearing of a possible solution, yet desperate upon hearing the warden’s uncooperative words. They thought for a moment, and then Joel suddenly snapped his fingers in triumph.
“Warden, you’re going back home, right?” Joel questioned, “You have a wife?”
“Yes, and I love her. Don’t even think of offering something sensual to me.” The warden grumpily replied.
“What about her cooking?”
The warden froze for a moment. lowering his head to think as he turned his back to the trio. With a deep breath, as if to hold back the urge to vomit, he replied:
“It’s…not lethal. Why are you even asking this?”
“Well, here’s my proposition, warden.” Joel stated, “If you decide to release us. I will cook you the greatest baked fish you’ve ever eaten, and I will also write a paper with ten different recipes each better than the other! You can give it to your wife, and eat ‘till you heart’s content!”
The warden dropped the box on the desk. Though he had his back turned to the trio, they could guess that he was drooling from the spit drops that dribbled onto the desk. He regained his composure, discretely wiped his mouth with his clothes, and fetched a quill along with an ink bottle and piece of paper before he began scribbling something on it.
Minutes passed by with no one daring to speak a word until the warden dropped the quil, took the paper, and stepped towards the trio. He handed Joel the paper with a frown before he spoke:
“Stick to the fucking deal.” The warden spat out.
As Joel focused on the paper, he was ecstatic. It was a release warrant, written and signed by the warden himself. Though he didn’t care if it would have much credibility due to recent events, it still gave much-needed hope for the trio.
“Oh, and one more thing.” The warden said, turning towards his desk, “The paper should be signed by the warden and the highest-ranked guard. You should speak to him, he’s in the joint behind the canteen, on the other side of the prison. But, be careful…he’s a colossal prick.”
“You won’t regret it, warden!” Joel said as he and Mik and Dolisia lef the office with smiles stretching across their faces.
“Don’t forget the damn fish!”
…
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The penitentiary had grown dark by the time the trio left the office. It was around dinner time when inmates and most of the guards gathered at the canteen for supper. The prison at this time—for the most part—was empty, all but a few guards here and there to keep watch of escapees or intruders.
And one such of those guards was the trio’s good old friend. The man whom Mik broke his nose right on the first day of the first hour after their reincarnation. His nose was still patched as he gazed at the wall opposite him with a nasty frown, sitting on a chair and tipping it to and fro to relieve his boredom as a small lamp lay next to him to light his surroundings.
“…no fucking way.”
Mik blurted out upon the sight of the man, peeking at him along with Joel and Dolisa from the other end of the corridor. At first, the trio were confident in their release from prison. But upon seeing who the high-ranked officer is, they were back to the bottom depths of despair.
“Are you sure it’s him?” Dolisia asked.
“Yep. Angry looking with a patch on the nose. That’s what the guard said.” Joel replied.
“Oh brother, we are fubar.” Mik gave up.
“Well, there is no helping it. When shit hits the fan, some run, and some face the music.” Joel explained.
“If this is music, this is the teen pop equivalent.” Mik said, “Or worse, the Brazilian funk equivalent.”
“Oh well…here we go,” Dolisia said, taking the initiative.
The trio came out of their hiding and walked confidently towards the luminary. Joel and Dolisia were contemplating ways to seduce, persuade, or trick the man into signing their release papers. As for Mik:
“Olá! Filho da puta!” Mik greeted me with a friendly smile.
The sudden greeting terrified the luminary into jolting up from his seat. But since he was rocking the chair back and forth, he lost his balance and tumbled backwards before smacking his head onto the brick wall.
“Ah! You brats!” He hissed at the trio, groaning in pain as he held his head.
“Wow…there goes our chances now.” Joel whispered, “How are you doing, Mr. Guar-”
“LUMINARY!” The man corrected struggling to stand up.
“Yes, yes, Luminary.” Dolisia rolled her eyes, “Anyway, sir. We need a favor from you.”
“Favor?!” The man repeated, sounding disgusted.
“Indeed. We spoke about the warden, and apparently, our good behavior has landed us a release warrant!” Joel explained, “We just need you to sign it considering you are the head guard.”
“Even if I die, and you move my arm to sign your damn paper, I will come back from the dead and smack the hell out of you!” The luminary rejected, “So, no! Now off with you!”
“…Listen, si-” Joel said before being interrupted by Dolisia.
“Joel, with all due respect. I’m tired of diplomacy. I can tolerate people like the warden, but not this salty prick who still whines about getting his nose caved in by a teen!”
“Yeah!” Mik joined in, “Seriously, fuck this guy! I can smell the bitch in him crawling out whenever he sees me!”
“What?!” The luminary quickly rose to his feet, “You pricks are not dead simply because my guards, and that damned warden, are treating you like kings! I won’t tolerate a second of your little fucking pla-”
Mik grabbed onto the man’s collar before slamming him onto the wall, enough to make him cough in pain. He was ready to fight back, only to see Dolisia quickly snatching his sword away and pointing it right at his crotch, so near that the tip of the sword was poking the tip of…the man’s other sword.
“W-w-what?! What are you doing you crazy witch?!”
“What she’s doing, Mr. Guard…” Joel said, leaning on the wall next to the luminary, “Is what I couldn’t do due to fear of fucking up. But there’s so much I can tolerate about you. Do you think we haven’t heard what you’ve been doing? Telling the chef to give us the worst food, spreading rumors about us, telling the guards to treat us poorly, and giving Mik barely enough food in his three days of solitary confinement and letting the Templars go unpunished. You’re scum, and you have the most punchable face in the fucking universe. So allow me to demonstrate…”
Joel paused, took a deep breath, and delivered a devastating punch to the luminary's face. His nose leaked with blood as tears of pain trickled down from his eyes. Before he could shout for help, Dolisia yanked the sword closer against the man’s privates, causing him to shiver in fear.
“Ah~! God I want to punch you so much more, but I need to be civil about this!” Joel breathed a sigh of incomprehensible satisfaction.
“You! You brats!” The man cried, “You did this to me! You began this!”
“So? Need I remind you that you’re the prick who refused to listen to us back in Leefside?” Joel said, “If it weren’t for you, we would have never been wanted! If anything, we should tear your body apart and cut off your dick and shove it down your throat!”
Dolisia gave another yank at the sword upon hearing Joel’s threats, to which the luminary shivered in fear as the sword became poked painfully at his privates.
“Stop, stop! Please! Please just stop!”
“Want us to stop?” Joel grimaced, “On all fours, and apologize!”
Mik released his hold on the man as Dolisia pulled the sword back. The luminary, with blood and tears trickling down his face, stared at the trio for a moment before he hesitantly knelt in front of them.
“Please, don’t hurt me anymore!” He pleaded, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done!”
“Wanna show for it?” Joel whispered as he knelt towards him, handing him the paper and a quill with a little bit of ink left inside. “Sign it.”
“I…” The luminary stuttered as he scrutinized the paper, “I can’t, it’s too risky.”
“Oh, Miki~!” Joel called out.
In response, snatched the sword from Dolisia and flung it in the air, catching it flawlessly and glaring at the luminary with bloodthirsty eyes and a horrifying smirk.
“Ah! Fine, fine!” The luminary scurried for the quil, scribbling on the paper hastily. “O-okay, I did it, now leave me alone!”
“Dandy!” Joel cheered in triumph as he held the paper, handing it to Mik before ordering. “Mik, destroy him.”
“Wha-”
Before he could retaliate, Mik happily obliged as he pocketed the paper and raised the sword in the air ready to strike the man down. Mik flipped the sword sideways and smacked the luminary on the top of the head with the wider part of the sword, giving the latter a concussion—not a death.
“Woohoo!” Dolisia cheered as she leaped in joy, “Freedom! We’re finally free!”
“Yep, feels good.” Joel sighed in satisfaction.
“What about him?” Mik interjected, pointing at the luminary.
“Come on, really? Nobody likes the guy.” Joel explained, “Plus, 10k, we could bribe them into silence with just a hundred since nobody gives a flying frick about the guy.”
“Pscht, more than enough for me.” Mik agreed before his stomach growled in displeasure. “Oh..yikes.”
“Hungry?” Dolisia questioned.
“Nope, I need to hit the john.” Mik clarified, “Joel, any toilet paper?”
“Oh, let me see.” Joel shuffled through his pockets, “Here, you can have this.”
He handed him a crumbled piece of paper containing some recipes that Joel wrote down. Not wasting any time, Mik thanked him before saluting them and hurrying towards the toilets. Joel and Dolisia gazed at the man in a victorious manner, taking a deep breath before they turned around, and made their way towards the cells in assurance.
…
Today was the fated day. Dolisia’s eavesdropping got her intel on Sylvia’s next arrival, and it was surprisingly the morning after the trio got their release warrant. With a little convincing, Joel got one of the guards to speak to Sylvia, requesting him to direct her towards their cells for an ‘urgent matter’.
And a job well done it was, for the trio were impatiently waiting in their cells as they heard the echo of three footsteps coming closer from down the hall. And there she was, Captain Sylvia standing with her signature frown, glaring at Joel before scanning Mik and Dolisia’s cells in a flash.
“Captain!” Joel beamed with a smile, “So good to see you!”
“Did you bribe the guards again, brat?” Sylvia spoke indifferently to the boy, “He told me you have an urgent matter.”
“Of course, I do!” Joel leaned on the cell’s door, smirking. “We want to be released!”
“Ray.” Sylvia ordered, “Open the door, I will kick his ass.”
“No no, really! We have a proper document to have us released.” Joel explained, “A release warrant, signed by the warden and head guard!”
“The warden?” Sylvia repeated, her eyes squinting in confusion. “No way, Tommy wrote a release warrant?”
“Wow!” James whistled in wonder, “I knew he was a jerk, but even he wouldn’t be bribed or threatened.”
“I can’t believe it. How in the world did you manage to make Tommy write you a warrant?” Sylvia questioned, utterly gobsmacked.
“Well, we did. That’s all that matters. Now, can you release us?” Joel asked, though in a demanding voice.
Sylvia gritted her teeth in frustration. She knew that foul play was involved in the way the trio acquired their warrant, though she could only do so much to uncover it. Plus, with the warden’s reputation preceding him, she couldn’t retaliate as she sighed upon facing one of the prison guards.
“Guard! Open the cells, now.” She ordered.
The guard rushed towards the cells in response, shuffling for his keys before he unlocked the three cells one by one. As the trio got out of their cells, they stretched their bodies as a beaming smile of joy and victory stretched across their faces.
“Warrant, now!” Sylvia demanded with her hand stretched.
Joel reached for his pockets, but his heart dropped for a moment as he came out empty-handed. Then his mind was at ease upon remembering that he left it with Mik yesterday night.
“Mik, it’s still with you.”
“Oh, right.” He replied, fetching a piece of paper from his pocket. “Here ya go!”
As Sylvia snatched the paper from his hand, she scrutinized it with a furious glare. Not a second later, the fury in her glare tripled if not quadrupled as she read in a barely stable tone.
“Two spoons of salt…onion…and garlic.” Her eyes pierced through the trio, “Explain.”
Though, her rage paled in comparison to the silent, godly rage brewing within Joel and Dolisia as they turned towards Mik. After Sylvia read the paper, they knew that Mik mixed the papers in the darkness of the toilets. Instead of wiping with the scrapped ingredients paper, he did so with their release warrant instead. One could say that they were now deep in feces, though that goes more correctly for the release warrant.
“Fuck it!” Mik snapped. He turned towards the prison guard and kicked him towards Sylvia and her subordinates before he grabbed onto Joel and Dolisia arms, bolting towards the end of the corridor. “I’m sorry! I can’t take this anymore!”
“You dumb fuck! You son of a bitch! I hope you die and for everyone to spit at your grave!” Dolisia fumed.
“Fuck you and everybody you’ve ever known, you psycho!” Joel continued, “Wiping your ass with the only thing that granted us freedom! I wish you a miserable life!”
“Negative and negative means positive. Thanks, bro!” Mik jokingly said, “But we’re escaping! I’m not counting on diplomacy anymore! We’re doing it the Mik way!”
The trio turned the corner and were faced with the stairs out of the cellars. Mik, still grabbing hold of his two friends, sprinted faster towards the exit.
“We can make it! I know we can escap-”
Before he could finish his sentence, Mik froze in place upon the sight of a bulky figure standing at the top flight of the stair just as the trio was about to climb it. He gazed down at the trio, their eyes bulging upon the shock of seeing who it was.
“Oh, lads!” The man beamed.
The man in question was Alan, the kind old man that gave the trio a ride from Leefside to Hilltop. Though now, he looked different. He was clad in the luminary all-white uniform, a pyramidal shape comprised of three five-dotted stars was emblazoned on the back of the cape, along with two miniature versions on both shoulders.
Still sporting his signature grey hair and goatee—but a much thicker one than before—he beamed as he gazed at the trio, a smile plastered on his face.
“Looks like I caught you at the wrong time, but no matter!” He chuckled, “I came here just for you, lads. Sylvia told me everything…so mind if we have a little discussion?”
Behind them were the approaching footsteps of the Captain and her luminaries. In front of them, a bombshell of truth and a feeling of betrayal clawing at their insides. Fighting Sylvia was suicide, but Alan? He was a luminary, that much they knew. But the stars on his uniform, what rank was he? Two more stars than Sylvia? Was he stronger? Was he more dangerous? Could the trio at least push him away or reason with him?
None was known, none was safe, and no time left to think. The trio simply had to act. It was either longer imprisonment, freedom, or at worse: death! The echoing footsteps drew closer from behind, leaving no room for hesitation.
They must act, now!