Darkness, a void so absolute that it seemed to stretch on endlessly. Within this vast expanse of nothingness were white dots of light scattered like stars in a night sky, and a mysterious mist that swirled around like a silent ghost. Yet amidst all this, there was one lone figure - Joel.
As he sat down on a white throne, situated next to a small side table, Joel was sipping from a luxurious cup of tea that was, surprisingly, perfectly warm. Upon each sip, he breathed out satisfactory sighs as he silently contemplated one thing.
'Where the hell am I? How did I even get here? And who the hell made this tea? It's super delicious, Goddamn.'
"Joel!"
"Oh no…" Joel whispered.
A familiar voice shattered his tranquility, causing him to jump to his feet and set the cup aside. He wished with all his being that it wasn't who he thought it was.
But fate had other plans.
Mik, his best friend, raced towards him, tears streaming down his face as he embraced Joel in a suffocating hug. "Thank God you're alive, bro! I thought I lost you!"
"The hell do you mean?" Joel asked, bewildered.
"Bro, I thought you died! I almost lost it when I saw you collapsing in court. Thank God you're alive."
"I wish I had died and gotten rid of your lying, money-laundering, homicidal maniac ass!" Joel spat out. "You got me involved in that court case and then fucked me over!"
"I'm sorry bro, I just didn't want to see you working five jobs to barely secure an income, so I thought I can…well…rob the mafia. But hey, look at the bright side. We got out of it! We're both alive!" Mik victoriously stated. His enthusiasm gradually decreased as he observed his surroundings, "Speaking of, where are we?"
"Oh yeah, as if I'm supposed to know. I've been wandering inside this infinite godforsaken space for HOURS before I found this chair and this cup of tea. I've been sipping on this cup of tea for God knows how long, AND…it surprisingly tastes great. Here, have a sip."
"Come on, you know me, bro. I'm not much of a tea person." Said Mik as he held the cup in his hand, ready to take a sip. "But, I'll give it a try."
The tea was a revelation, a burst of flavors and emotions that he never knew existed. It was, indeed, an exceptional cup of tea.
"Wow, this is some gourmet shit." Mik said as he placed the cup back on the side table.
"I know, right? I wonder who made it."
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps echoed from behind the unsuspecting duo. As they turned around, their jaws dropped open and their eyes widened in bewilderment at the sight of what can only be described as a goddess.
She was a young woman with ravishing looks and divine features; with hair as white as snow, and eyes as blue as the ocean, wearing a pair of white boots along with an impeccable white dress that clearly displayed her unparalleled 'assets.'
"Welcome to the afterlife. Unfortunately, you gentlemen aren't alive." She said, walking past the two boys, and towards the white throne "I know that you must be shocked by the sudden news. But you are, in fact, deceased."
Joel's heart dropped as the goddess's words echoed in his mind. "Wait, we're…dead?" he asked, still in shock.
The goddess nodded solemnly. "Yes, Joel Joule, you died from a bullet to the heart, a .50 cal sniper to be exact. And you, Mikael Magnum, you committed suicide," she said, her voice tinged with sorrow. However, it switched into a mocking tone through the tense silence. "Still, it is quite ironic that a lawyer couldn't tell real money apart from counterfeit bills, heh."
Joel's anger flared at the goddess's taunts, and he made a move to lunge at her. But Mik held him back, his grip firm and unwavering.
"Oh really?! I thought gods would be wise and graceful, but you're just a low-level bitch!"
"The hell did you just say to me?! I'm a goddess, you emo edgelord! I won't let someone whose friend is the incarnation of 'Florida man.' speak to me in that tone."
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Suddenly, Joel quickly ceased his tantrum before he turned towards Mik, quickly apprehending him before he could leap towards the goddess.
"The fuck did you just call me you little shit?!" Mik shouted, visibly furious.
"Can we stop this outrage before we actually end up killing each other?!" Joel exclaimed.
"Ugh…fine. Another day, another headache." She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, my name is Dolisia. I am the overseer of earth and a goddess in charge of guiding people who died through the afterlife." Dolisia introduced herself as she fetched the cup of tea from the side table, "And a remarkable tea maker."
"Oh, so you're the one who made that? It tastes good." Mik said.
The goddess' reaction was anything but grateful or graceful as she spat out her drink, her eyes widened in shock.
"You…drank from this?" She questioned, her hands trembling.
"Y-yeah? Oh, no. Is it some kind of forbidden god thing?" Joel replied, visibly nervous.
Dolisia threw the cup away before she spat the remaining tea, even wiping her mouth and tongue on her dress. "Fuck! That's disgusting!" Dolisia blurted out, clearly disgusted.
As they silently watched the latter furiously cleaning her mouth, Mik and Joel exchanged a glance before Joel spoke up:
"So…you're the goddess of the afterlife, does that mean we get to go to heaven? Hell?"
"You don't." She shook her head, still irritated with her ruined tea.
"Huh?" The two uttered in confusion.
"Wait, then why are we here?" Joel questioned.
"I'm the goddess in charge of guiding people THROUGH the afterlife, and this is the afterlife." She explained.
"Wait, this is the afterlife? There's nothing here!" Mik retorted.
"Because you're not even going to stay here!"
With every explanation, the boys' confusion grew exponentially. They stood silently as they stared at Dolisia, visibly perplexed at the whole ordeal that they were faced with. Without a choice but to explain, Dolisia descended from the throne before she took a deep breath.
"I am the goddess in charge of explaining to people the process of the afterlife. You don't stay here, you get reincarnated in a new soul, a new body. A whole new life. However, you are different."
"Different? How?" Joel asked.
"Because, out of every one in ten billion, some get chosen by the universe. And those have the option to either reincarnate like everyone else and have new lives, new memories, new everything. Or they can choose to be reincarnated in a different world, same memories, same bodies, but you will have to save the world. Thus, when you succeed, you can be granted any wish that you desire. Like a heaven of your own liking."
As their eyes widened in disbelief, the duo shared a quick glance. Their dreams, their hopes, the thing they wished for since they could remember. The opportunity to not only have a new chance at life but also live a life of adventure similar to the stories that they grew up loving. Their dream was now a chance ready for taking, and neither was going to decline it.
"YES!" They exclaimed ecstatically.
"Well then…"
The goddess stepped towards the duo. Closing her eyes, she extended her hands towards the two before a bright light flashed from her palms.
"Joel Joules, Mikael Magnum. You two have been chosen by the universe to reincarnate and save a world in need of heroes. Once you agree, you will be granted the necessary power to help you in your journey, along with my guidance, and you shall be granted whatever wish you may desire upon succeeding. However, once you accept, you can never go back until you finish. If you accept, hold my hands."
Not a second wasted, the duo held onto Dolisia's hands. Upon doing so, the brilliant light flashed brighter, so much so that it illuminated the entirety of the godly realm and temporarily blinded the duo.
The boys weren't concerned about the blinding light, but the sudden excruciating pain that stung their bodies. They couldn't scream, they couldn't grunt, they couldn't call for help, nor see what was happening, they only endured the pain until it slowly faded away.
"Fuck! What the hell was that?" Joel groaned.
His eyes opened wide. He was oblivious to Dolisia who had a smug smile plastered on her face, for he was concerned about one thing.
"What the fuck?! Why do I sound like a child?!" Joel blurted out.
"Bro, you look like one too! Hell, you don't even have the eye bags anymore!" Mik pointed out.
"Me? What the fuck happened to you?! You look like you don't even know how to masturbate!" Joel retorted.
"No? I sound and feel normal."
"No no, he's got a point," Dolisia said before snapping her fingers, to which a mirror suddenly appeared from thin air in front of Mik. "Here, take a look."
As he gazed at the mirror, thoroughly examining his facial features, Mik was silenced by disbelief. He was, indeed, younger than he remembers himself being.
"What the fuck?! I'm pubescent!" Mik exclaimed.
"And you also have a gun," Dolisia added.
In response, Mik looked down at his waist, only to see a holstered Magnum 500.
"And I also have a gun! Holy shit!"
"Alright, I guess you two are ready to hit the ground running," Dolisia said.
"Wait, what happened to us though? Why are we younger?" Joel questioned, anxiously.
"And where the hell did the Magnum come from?!" Mik followed up.
"You agreed to become reincarnated heroes, so you shook my hand. Upon doing that, we formed a contract. I've become your guide, and you also received your powers. Oh, and you were also reset to your prime which is apparently…sixteen years old?"
"What? Our prime? We died at the age of twenty...something!" Joel retorted, "How the hell is this our prime?" Joel retorted.
"I'm sorry, but are we not going to talk about how I just have a random S&M Magnum that spawned out of nowhere?"
"I don't know, I don't care, and it's time for you to piss off!" Dolisia said.
Upon doing so, a vortex-shaped portal appeared from thin air right next to the duo.
"Wait, we're not done!" Joel pleaded.
"Alrighty, enjoy your trip. Bye-bye, virgins!"
With a flick of her wrist, Mik and Joel were telekinetically pushed towards the vortex, sending them through the portal against their will, and into their new lives!
The journey has finally begun!