As Alan watched from afar—on top of a tree branch—the bandits were creeping closer by the second. The trio was stressing over their current ordeal knowing that the old man that offered them help might have set them up to be raided by bandits.
"Goddamnit, that old bastard set us up!" Dolisia whispered as she bit into her nails.
"Unlikely. Him disappearing without Mik noticing is insanely strange." Joel said, "Mik's senses are akin to that of a guard dog, nearly impossible for someone to sneak past him. Speaking of, are you sure about these 'visitors'? "
"Positive." Mik affirmed, "I don't know how many, but I know they're coming here."
"Shit...what do we do?" Dolisia wondered.
"Should I kill them?" Mik asked.
"No...not yet at least," Joel advised. "If they're close, our only option is a confrontation. And even if we're going to do it, there must be no bloodshed or recklessness. It must be precise, and decisive."
Upon hearing Joel's suggestion, Mik and Dolisia went silent as they pondered their next step to approach their predicament. However, the two's plans were to no avail, since they both called for violence that might backfire on them depending on how strong the bandits are.
Meanwhile, Joel thought of multiple plans, but all were scrapped due to them being impractical, very dangerous, or downright useless. All of a sudden, he shifted his focus towards the crates and barrels that lay aside them.
"Wait, the crates." Joel said as he pointed at the latter, "Check the crates and barrels too. They may have something."
In response, Mik, Dolisia, and Joel hastily turned towards the crates and barrels near them before they searched them, rapidly shuffling through them in anticipation of anything that might be useful. However, their findings weren't that astounding.
"I just found some vegetables. What did you guys find?" Joel asked.
"Bunch of goddamn useless shit. I only found some spices. Salt, pepper, and some boxes of matches lying around." Mik informed.
"Barrel's full of alcohol, and some crates of wine too. Nothing exciting." Dolisia added.
As his friends were discouraged by their misfortunate findings, Joel was thinking of a new plan as quickly as possible, until...
The sound of a twig breaking from afar sent shivers down their spines. Their time for thinking was over, and now they were faced with the confrontation that will unfold. In a cold sweat, Mik reached for his revolver, pulling the hammer back in anticipation of the bandits.
Before he could jump out of the wagon and kill the bandits, Mik was halted by Joel who placed his hand on his shoulder, whispering to him and Dolisia. In response, the two gazed at Joel, eyes wide.
"Joel, that's crazy!" Dolisia said, audibly worried.
"Pretty much every plan Joel thinks of." Mik comforted Dolisia before he turned towards Joel, "But it always works."
Dolisia and Mik shared a quick glance before they nodded their heads in approval, agreeing to whatever insane plan Joel had in mind.
Meanwhile, the bandits were fewer than thirty meters behind the wagon, slowly creeping towards the campsite from behind. All of a sudden, their hearts jumped at the voice that called out to them.
"You guys can just come out now, I already took care of them."
Upon hearing the voice, the bandits were stunned and no longer crouching to suppress their footsteps. However, they were still confused about whether the voice was directed at them or not.
"Oi, I know you're there, just come out already."
With no option left, the leader of the bandits stepped first towards the campsite, followed by his comrades. Upon entering the camp, their eyes fell upon the sight of Joel seated at the driver's box, munching on a piece of bread.
"Took you long enough." He said, facing away from the bandits.
"Huh?" One of the bandits uttered, "Who are you?"
"Me?" Joel replied, "I'm nobody. Like you guys, I came to loot the wagon."
"You?" The leader of the bandits uttered as he observed the camp, seeing no one other than Joel. "Where's the merchant?"
"Killed him."
"And the body?"
"Inside the wagon."
"Alright, what about the other two?" The leader asked, "Weren't you with them?"
"With them?" Joel repeated, chuckling, "Those were just some idiots that lost their way. I was going to rob them one way or another, so I stuck with them until I got the big prize. Their bodies are also in the back of the wagon."
"You? You killed three people?" The leader questioned.
Not bothering to reply, Joel hopped off the driver's box before he gestured for the bandits to follow him. He made his way towards the back of the wagon, hopping back into it as the bandits watched from behind.
Much to their dismay, there lay the three bodies wrapped in blankets, all of them stained by a red liquid. They did not want to believe it at first, but now they were left with no option but to do so as the green-eyed boy gazed back at them with a smug smile.
"Now that you finally believe me, we can share the loot if you want. I'm generous enough to do so." Joel said as he searched through one of the crates, his hand placed on one of the many pouches that lay inside of it.
"I think you're mistaken..." The leader said as he drew his dagger. In response, three other bandits did the same. "We don't share, we take what is ours. You're pretty tough for killing three people, but we're six against one."
With an expressionless face, Joel stared at the bandits with a narrow-eyed glare. He slowly raised his arms in a surrendering gesture, one of the pouches still carried in his hand.
"Well, if you're going to be selfish, so be it. Just let me have this pouch and I'll be on my way." Joel said.
"Be on your way?" The leader said in a mocking tone, to which the rest of the bandits laughed. "Boy, you're very mistaken. When we loot, we loot everything and leave nothing...and no one. The fact that you saw us is more than enough for us to kill you, and I'll enjoy doing so, I promise ."
Confronted by the worst outcome possible, Joel breathed a deep, shallow sigh before he turned towards the bandits, laying his head on his hand.
"Fine, fine. But I have one condition, or wish per se." Joel said, "Don't touch this pouch."
Perplexed by the strange wish—especially one of a dead man—the leader of the bandits turned his attention towards the pouch that Joel carried.
"Open it." He demanded.
"I can't."
"Open it!" He shouted, "Or we'll torture you before we kill you."
With no choice left other, than to obey the leader, Joel grumbled before complying:
"Alright, fine. Just don't touch it."
As he cautiously untied the cord sealing the pouch, Joel quickly glanced at the contents of the said pouch before turning towards the bandits, gesturing for them to come closer.
"Come closer, I won't let you touch it." He said.
In response, the bandits stepped closer to Joel, trying their best to peek inside the pouch. Doing such, they didn't notice the devilish smirk plastered on the boy's face.
The boy threw the contents of the pouch at the bandits—targeting their eyes. Enraged, the bandits tried to retaliate, until their eyes began to sting. Gradually, the pain in their eyes began to increase until it was no longer bearable.
"Fuck! My eyes!" The leader of the bandits shrieked in agony.
Unbeknownst to the bandits, the pouch that the boy held in his hand was filled to the brim with salt, causing their eyes to sting like hell as they were temporarily blinded.
Not a second wasted, Joel called out to his friends to proceed with the plan.
"Mik! Dolisia! Get the alcohol!"
In response, Dolisia rushed to the crate where the matchboxes were scattered while Mik grabbed hold of the barrel of alcohol. He then slammed the barrel on the ground before he kicked the lid off of it, pouring the alcohol all over the bandits and the ground.
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As Dolisia got hold of one of the matchboxes, she passed it to Joel who caught it and proceeded to light one of the matches instantly. With the alcohol poured on the bandits, and the match already lit, Joel's first phase of the plan was a success. All that was left now was the negotiation.
"What's just been poured on you is an entire barrel of alcohol. And right now, I have a match lit, ready for me to throw at you."
The leader of the bandits struggled to keep his teary bloodshot eyes open as he glared at the trio.
"If you don't want to burn to death, drop your weapons and get the hell out of here!" Joel demanded.
The leader's frustration reached a boiling point as he gritted his teeth and rose to his feet. With a sudden burst of rage, he hurled his dagger at the trio, but they dodged it at the last second.
Joel was about to throw the match, but the leader was too quick, grabbing a nearby stick and knocking the match out of his hand. In a swift motion, the leader grabbed Joel by the shoulder and pulled him down to the ground. However, the leader's plans were foiled by the muddy terrain, causing him to slip and fall on his back in a comical fashion.
In response, Mik rushed to one of the crates inside the wagon, grabbing hold of two leeks before he rushed to his friend's rescue.
"Don't worry, Joel! I'll smack the bitch out of them with these leeks!"
Upon comforting his friend, Mik leaped out of the wagon—but due to the very slippery mud, the latter slipped and fell on top of Joel, headbutting him on the chest. As the green-eyed boy coughed while holding his chest, Mik attempted to stand back up, to no avail as he continued slipping endlessly.
"Dolisia, a little help please!" Mik called out.
Dolisia assessed her situation. She came to the conclusion that if she wanted to not slip and fall into the mud like her peers, she would have to jump over the puddle. And that she did.
As she took a few steps back, Dolisia ran before she jumped out of the wagon. However, her feet landed exactly on the edge of the puddle, causing her to slip and fall on her back the hardest.
In the meantime, Alan was cackling like a madman.
He knew that the confrontation was worthy of viewing, but he never knew it would be this amusing and hilarious. As much as he wanted to intervene, he couldn't help but sit down and watch what would happen next.
"Oh, joy!" He laughed, "Those three truly are remarkable!"
The trio and the bandits were still struggling to stand up. As with each attempt, they would slip and fall once again. That was the case for five whole minutes of nothing but slipping, falling, and sulking in the mud.
"Truce!" Joel declared, "Let's crawl out of the mud before we continue fighting."
With a nod, agreeing to the former's demand, the bandits and the trio slowly crawled their way out of the mud. Finally out of the puddle, they carefully stood up before wiping some of the mud off of their clothes.
The leader didn't waste a second as he snatched a dagger from one of the bandits, sprinting towards an unsuspecting Joel. The latter still wiping the mud off of his clothes didn't notice the leader as he came closer, ready to stab him dead.
Before he could reach the green-eyed boy, the leader was obstructed by Mik. With only a leek as a weapon, the latter effortlessly smacked the bandit back into the puddle of mud.
"Get leek'ed!"
Seeing their leader humiliated, the bandits directed their attention at the red-haired boy. Simultaneously, they drew their weapons consisting of daggers and sticks before rushing towards Mik.
The latter—with no option but to fight them all at once—utilized the power of the leek.
The first bandit rushed towards the former before swinging his stick, only to be parried by Mik who followed up with a devastating smack by the leek.
"Get leek'ed!"
The second bandit swung his dagger at the latter before he shouted.
"I'll kill you!"
Effortlessly parrying him, Mik smacked the bandit as well.
"Feel the leek!"
"You fucker! I'll kill you!" The third bandit said before he swung his dagger and stick at the same time.
"Get leek'ed, bitch!" Mik retorted before smacking the former to oblivion.
The red-haired boy parried and smacked the bandits over and over again. Every time they try to attack him, he doesn't bother to fret as he dodges their attacks before smacking them with the leek once again, shouting the same phrase every time.
"GET LEEK'ED!"
What angered and perplexed the bandits most wasn't the utter humiliation they were subjected to as they kept getting helplessly smacked around by a sixteen-year-old boy, but it was the durability of the leek he used as a weapon. Even after smacking them many times, the leek didn't seem to break in the least bit.
Having had enough, the leader of the bandits rushed towards Mik before drawing his dagger. However, he didn't target the boy, he was instead aiming for the leek.
With a swift and precise strike, the leader split the leek into two before the boy knocked him out with a roundhouse kick, launching him towards the mud before he dropped unconscious.
"There! Now's our chance!" one of the bandits shouted.
But before the bandits could seize the chance to attack, they were frozen in place by the sinister giggle of the red-haired boy. The aura around him changed into a frightening and malevolent one before he spoke.
"You fools!" He shouted, "You think I didn't bring backup?"
Upon antagonizing the bandits, Mik proceeded to reach for his back pocket before drawing out two leeks simultaneously. He then masterfully swung the leeks, using them as nunchucks as he displayed his skills with the pair of vegetables.
"I have the power of the leek!"
Horrified by the pair of leeks that Mik held in his hands, the bandits rushed toward their leader, carrying his unconscious body before they retreated from this grueling and humiliating fight.
As the bandits dashed away from the campsite—disappearing into the night—Joel stood beside Mik before shifting his focus to him, confusion in his eyes.
"Hey, Mik." He called out.
"Yeah?"
"…You could've beat them up more effectively with your hands, no?"
"Where's the fun in that?"
"…Right…" Joel said, filled with disappointment.
"What? Why are you disappointed in me? I'm right!" Mik explained, "Plus, now they'll never underestimate leeks."
The boy then proceeded to bite into the leek, eating it raw. Disappointed in his friend, Joel also grabbed hold of the other leek before biting into it.
"Surprisingly…they're not that bad," Joel said as he took another bite off the leek.
"Right? They're a pretty underestimated vegetable." Mik said, "Leeks are very high in Vitamins A and K and are good sources of iron, calcium, and manganese. They are also high in fiber and low in calories. Which also makes them a great weapon of self-defense when needed—"
"Alright, alright. Just please spare me the bullshit." Joel interrupted
"Did you also know that Roman emperor Nero supposedly ate leeks every day to make his voice stronger?"
"Oh for God's sake…"
…
While Mik was bombarding Joel with useless facts, Alan was cackling even harder.
Never in his entire life has he seen such an amusing, and hilarious confrontation as this. Not only that, but he also had the pleasure of witnessing the first-ever display of leek warfare and their masterful use of them in battle.
Wiping a tear from his eyes, Alan took a deep breath before he gazed at the trio.
"My God, I wasn't wrong." He said, "Those three truly are a unique, wonderful bunch. I'm glad I trusted my senses. The least I can do now is let them off the hook for causing all that chaos back in town."
Alan was glad that he believed in the capabilities of the trio, for they displayed to him that despite their chaotic presence, they were still a kind-hearted innocent bunch…
For the most part that is.
Suddenly, he shifted his focus toward the bandits that were running away. With a narrow-eyed glare, his previously joyful expression shifted into one of complete seriousness.
"Now then…" He said before jumping off the tree branch, "Let's finish what we started."
…
The bandits—now hiding behind a line of bushes far away from the campsite—were sulking in humiliation and regret. They were furious beyond all comparison, for the deception that they were subjected to by the green-eyed boy, and the humiliating beatdown they experienced from the red-haired boy destroyed all of their pride and self-esteem.
"Bastards…" The leader said, "Goddamn bastards! They're going to pay for this!"
"There's nothing we can do boss, let's just find ourselves a new career—"
"NEVER! I will never ever forgive those bastards!" The leader shouted, "No…I will follow them. We'll follow them until we catch them off guard at some point. And then I'll beat them up. Yes! I'll beat them up as they did to me!"
"Boss, please, let's just move on—" One of the bandits tried to reason.
"I WILL BEAT THEM UP WITH A CUCUMBER!"
"What?"
"A cucumber, you hear! That will be far more humiliating than anything they'll ever experience!" The leader shouted.
"How about an apple?" A voice suggested from behind.
Frightened by the sudden old voice that resonated from behind them, the bandits jolted up from the ground, staggering as they turned towards the source of the voice. Their eyes fell upon the sight of Alan standing behind the bush, carrying a burlap sack as he bit into an apple.
"Apples help you calm down, how about you try some?"
"You!" The leader yelled, "You're that goddamned merchant! What do you want now, huh?!
"And you are the bandits that were following me for three days." He said, "Do you have the slightest idea how annoying you all were?"
"Wait…you knew?!" The leader bellowed.
"Of course I did! I bet you lot would be horrendous at hide and seek!" Alan joked, chuckling at the statement.
"That does it!" The leader said as he drew his dagger, "I will kill you!"
Enraged, the leader dashed towards the old man, his dagger aimed at his throat. However, Alan dodged the dagger effortlessly before he grabbed hold of the bandit's arm. Much to the leader's dismay, he felt a freezing cold sting his entire body.
"You don't seem to understand…" Alan whispered in a sinister voice.
The bandits, all horrified, gazed at Alan's eyes. The latter's nonchalant and playful mood vanished as it was replaced by a malicious smile, his eyes glowing in a venomous aura. The aura around him thickened, becoming so dense it almost choked the bandits into unconsciousness.
Suddenly, a large muscular silhouette protruded from behind the old man, materializing into a gigantic shadowy figure three times the size of Alan. It then proceeded to open its eyes, flashing a bright red as it glared at the bandits.
"I'm commander Frost of the order of the Luminaries. I've been searching for you a lot for quite a while due to all the looting and robberies you committed. Fortunately, you fell right into my trap."
Horrified, the leader's eyes shot up at Alan. The name he just uttered was far too familiar for him, one that he dreaded so intensely that he was no longer able to stand. As he gasped, the leader stuttered as he locked eyes with Alan before speaking.
"Yo-…You're…" He stuttered, "You're the frost giant?!"
…
As Mik was continuously stating ridiculous facts about leeks to Joel, the trio felt a sudden shiver run down their spine. Followed by a sudden breeze of freezing cold that stung their bodies for a short moment.
"Woah…" Mik exclaimed, "You guys felt that?"
"Yeah, the hell was that?" Dolisia wondered.
"Maybe it's just a quick breeze…I don't know, I'm way too tired. I'm going to hit the hay." Joel stated.
"Wait!" Mik interrupted, "Did you know that leeks were used as ancient dildos by the Sumerian empire?"
"Oh shut up! It's not even true!"
While Joel was heading back to sleep, and Mik was annoying him with now 'untrue' facts, Dolisia was standing still as she gazed at one of the hills nearby. She knew that the sudden cold she felt wasn't normal, lost in thought as she contemplated what the cause could've been.
…
Alan grabbed hold of his bag and shuffled through it before pulling out six apples. He then proceeded to turn toward the bandits, throwing the apples toward them.
"There, that should feed you well…tomorrow." Alan joked.
The bandits were unable to take the apples that they were generously offered, for they were frozen in place, each of them covered in a thick layer of ice that extended from neck to toe, leaving only their face free.
Moreover, the leader of the bandits had a wooden sign that hung from his neck like a necklace, with words written in coal that read: 'We are bad men, please arrest us'.
"Don't worry, a luminary patrol strolls by here every morning. Now be nice to them, and don't cause any more trouble, alright?"
As they stood silently, the bandits glared at Alan with contempt in their eyes as the latter smiled at them, mockingly.
"Good, you're already behaving better!" He cheered, "Alright, I shall leave you now, have a nice day!"
As he bid his farewell while biting into an apple, Alan walked away from the bandits and disappeared into the night, leaving the petty criminals frozen in the middle of nowhere, waiting to be arrested tomorrow morning.