“I thought you were asleep.”
“I woke up when you left the room. I must have noticed your presence missing. When I got up and saw that the spynet had detected you in two different places, I figured out what was going on pretty quickly.”
“Are you upset?”
“That you snuck out to talk to her alone? No. Whatever this rivalry or whatever that you two have is, it’s your business. I trust you to make the right decisions and keep yourself safe, so I can’t raise any objections. What does upset me, though, is that look on your face.”
It wasn’t until Mai mentioned it that I realised my feelings were so blatantly reflected in my expression. Kagami’s words must have struck me deeper than I thought.
“I’m…”
“Having doubts?”
“…yeah.”
The truth that I was scared to admit to myself was that she had shaken my resolve.
“You don’t think we can beat them, do you?”
“I honestly have no idea either way as to whether it’s feasible or not. But what really struck my heart was… what she said about you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. She said that my reckless decision to fight back would get you killed. That she instead was protecting her friends by defecting to the other side. I couldn’t say I agreed with her… but I also couldn’t say she was wrong.” In truth, her words had made an uncomfortable amount of sense to me. We were taking on a huge risk by fighting back against the legions of hell. If I truly wanted to protect Mai, to make sure I didn’t lose her, joining the winning side would be the smart thing to do. And there was little doubt that the demons were the winning side.
We both fell into silence for a long time, sitting against a hand railing in the steadily falling snow, a heavy atmosphere suffocating the both of us. Eventually, it was Mai that found that courage to speak.
“Shin… do you know what it was that made me fall in love with you?”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“I… no. No, I don’t.” I felt my cheeks turn red, feeling a little silly for getting flustered in a situation like this.
“There were a lot of things I liked about you. You made me laugh. You made me smile. You indulged me in all my stupid antics even when you didn’t really want to. But none of that made me fall for you. The thing that made me love you so strongly was your commitment to protecting people. You’ve been doing it in subtle ways long before all of this magical girl business. From serious things, like walking us home to make sure we were safe, to the little things like constantly looking behind your shoulder to make sure no one is being left behind. The you that I fell in love with is the you that’s dedicated to protecting the people you care about. But it’s also the side of you that caused my heart to ache so much. I’ve seen you worry and fret over every little thing, convinced that any harm or danger that comes to myself or the girls is a failure on your part. Watching you beat yourself up over not being able to protect every person in your life from every last incident crushes me. You’re such a caring and loving person, but you never spare any of that care or love for yourself. So listen to me when I say this: you are not to blame for me fighting back. I’m deciding of my own free will to give everything I have, even down to my life, to protect the things I hold dear. To protect you, and the love I feel for you. I know that the you that I love so much would never let me come to harm, but I’m asking the you that causes my heart to ache to fight by my side. From the depths of my soul, I love you. Let’s protect that love. Together.”
I had nothing to say in response. There was nothing I could say. My love for Mai and my desire to protect her were my driving force, but they were also my seed of doubt. Doubt that I knew wouldn’t simply go away because of a nice speech and a warm atmosphere. But… that didn’t matter. She had reminded me exactly what it was that I was fighting for. It wasn’t just to protect her life. It was to protect what she was living for. What I was living for. The bonds that tied us together. That was what I truly wanted to protect.
We sunk into silence yet again. This time not heavy, but comfortable. A silence that said everything it needed to say. We didn’t need anymore words to understand one another’s feelings. All we needed was each other’s presence.
My anger and frustration at my talk with Kagami now subsiding, I was able to take in the beauty of the scene around me. The empty streets blanketed in pure white snow. The night sky, black and vast but filled with stars. The moon, high in the sky above us, beaming down like a beacon. It was a sight that made my heart flutter, one made all the more stunning by the incredible girl at my side watching it with me.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” I said softly, finally breaking the long quiet between us.
“I didn’t give a long and heartfelt confession of love just to get a Sōseki quote in return. Say what you really mean, you wimp,” she teased. Were it anyone else, the bluntness might have ruined the peaceful atmosphere, but from Mai, it merely brought a smile to my face.
“Amai Sugi, from the bottom of my heart to the tips of my toes, I love you. When this is all over, will you please marry me?”