My heart felt like it was beating a thousand beats per minute, but I had already resolved to do this tonight. After Shin forced me to confront my feelings like that, I couldn’t waste the momentum I had built up in my mind.
“Rare for you to ask to come over like this. Normally I’m the one inviting you.”
“W-w-w-well, I just thought a sleepover would be a nice way to end such an exciting day, hehehe…”
All that being said, being in a room alone with her was sending my every neuron into a gay panic.
“I’m always happy to have you over, y’know. Living on my own gets lonely at times, I need my cute best friend to keep me company from time to time.” She winked at me as she said that, and I damn near went into cardiac arrest. It was like she was toying with me
I picked up and sipped the calming jasmine tea that Saki had gotten me, only to find myself shaking so much that the “calming” effect was rendered entirely moot. This was something I was gonna have to do with my nerves firing on all cylinders.
Not that that was too different to how I felt most of the time anyway.
I was screaming at myself in my head to say something, but I just couldn’t get a word out.
It didn’t help that things had been slightly awkward between us ever since our conversation on the train. I had wanted so badly to tell her how I felt then and there, but I cracked under the pressure. Stupid Mai and Shin, being happy together without being reduced to an anxious ball of nerves
“Man, Hana nailed it with that speech today. And the crowd just ate it up. I almost felt like chanting with them, y’know.”
I almost felt the urge to get mad for a moment. Dammit, woman, here I am trying to build the courage to tell you how I feel, and you’re talking about another girl.
“Y-yeah, she was incredible…” my scrambled brain tried calculating some way of steering the conversation in the direction I needed, but it somehow landed on the worst possible option. “Wh-what do you think of her?”
“Hmm? Of Hana, you mean?”
“Y-yes.”
She put her finger to her chin and made an ‘mmm’ noise as if she had to think carefully to answer.
“She’s a valued ally, a cute kouhai, and a good friend.”
“I-is that all?”
“What do you mean?
“J-just a friend?”
“What does that mean?”
“I-I just…” my anxiety took over me completely, and I was unable to stop myself from stumbling over a hundred messy words that I never intended to say in the first place. “It’s just that you and her have so much in common and she always hugs you and compliments you and shows you so much affection and it’s clear that she admires you and looks up to you and she really likes you a lot and you always seem so excited when we go to the manor and you talk about her with so much pride as if her achievements were yours too and you two seem really well fit for each other so I was just wondering if maybe you and her were something more than fr-“
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My words were stopped in their tracks and my mind brought back to Earth all at once, by the feeling of a hand on my cheek and something warm on my lips.
It took me several seconds to understand what had happened.
Saki was kissing me. She had sealed my endlessly spewing lips with a kiss from her own, as naturally as one would kiss their wife in the morning.
“S-saki…” when we finally pulled away from each other, our faces still so close, I could find no more words to say than to simply call her name.
“You fool. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?” She briefly kissed me again, before once again pulling back. “How many times I’ve thought about bearing my entire heart to you, only stopping because I was worried that you’d never feel the same way?” She kissed me once again. “How hard it’s been to stop myself from grabbing hold of you and never letting go, lest I lose you to someone else?”
This time she kissed me, she lingered much longer, as if savouring the taste of my lips. I found myself too stunlocked to kiss her back, but too happy to pull away.
My mind went blank and I closed my eyes. I found myself lost in my other senses. The feeling of her lips against my own. The sound of her voice occasionally escaping as a whimper. The smell - Saki always had a faint smell of sweat, but it wasn’t one I resented. It just made me think of her.
Eventually, we both pulled back, though we once again remained close, so close I could still feel the heat radiating off her.
“For longer than I could even say, you’ve stayed in the forefront of my mind at every waking moment. Every time I’ve been in trouble, you’ve been the person I’ve wanted at my side, and every time you’ve been there for me. I love you so much it sometimes makes it hard to breathe. You’re my everything, Nao. Please, be my girlfriend?” She wrapped me in a tight hug as she spoke, which I was glad for because it stopped her seeing the tears rolling down my eyes.
I had spent years staring at her back, believing I could never catch up to the girl who could do anything. I had thought she was unattainable. Someone so far above me that it was an insult for me to be in her presence. And here she was, telling me she loved me and asking me to return those affections.
Were it not for the lingering taste of her lips on mine, I’d have hardly believed my ears.
I stayed motionless and silently let my tears roll for so long that I almost forgot to give my answer.
“I-I… yes. Yes, of course yes. I-I would be honoured… it would be my pleasure… I humbly accept…” I just couldn’t get the words out right, which caused Saki to giggle in a way so cute I thought it’d kill me on the spot.
“The heck? Are you a maiden receiving a proposal in the Edo period?” She pulled back the hug and looked me in the eyes, before wiping away the tears on my face and putting her hand to my cheek. “I want to hear you say it. Properly.”
“I-I love you. I love you so much it makes me feel like I’m dying. If you’re sure I’m good enough, I would love to be your g-girlfriend.” The words got caught in my throat a little, but I felt that the message still got through. Especially as Saki immediately smiled and planted a kiss just shy of my lips.
“You silly fool. Still worrying about being ‘good enough.’ No one’s good enough for me but you, Nao.”
She pulled me into a kiss yet again, this time deeper and more passionate than any before it. I kissed her back, letting myself get lost in her entirely.
“We’ll be busy preparing to go to war pretty soon,” she said between breaths, “but tonight we have all the time in the world. And I’m gonna use it all to show you just how much I love you.”
That was a long night for the both of us, but I didn’t mind.
I got to show Saki just how much I loved her back.