Jack and the wolf who refused to give his name had laid out their plan to me and my part in it. Terrible things were to be done and I had no problem with it. Things that only a day ago would have made me cringe. I had a pivotal part in all of it and didn’t care. No guilt, no conscience. I could do anything I wanted.
“Are you listening child?” Jack asked.
“Yes. I understand my part and I’m ready to do it.”
There was a minuscule part of me that was aware that I would be hurting the man that had just proposed to me. I remembered that we had plans to marry and have kids. None of it mattered anymore and I knew I should be bothered by it.
Since I had been a guest in the house of the wolf, I had been drinking blood from a bag. Jack told me that once they left, he would take me on her first hunt. I couldn’t wait.
I knew that fresh blood would be a lot tastier. It’s like when you cook and use fresh ingredients instead of packaged stuff. Fresh makes all the difference.
I was in my room staring out at the night when I heard footsteps outside the door. A knock came and I told the wolf to enter.
“How does it feel?” He asked
“How does what feel?”
“How does it feel not to feel?”
“Well, thats a complicated question isn’t it?”
“I suppose it is. Nonetheless, I want an answer.”
“If I had to describe it, I would say it feels like true freedom. No concern about my actions. I imagine this is what it’s like to be s sociopath.”
“Having known a few in the past, I would say that’s probably the most accurate answer anyone has ever given me to that question.”
“Do you feel?”
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“I do.”
“Then how do you live with yourself being what you are?”
“It’s quite simple really. I cannot hate myself for being what I am. I hate the one who turned me in the first place, or at least I did.”
“So you’re okay with being a murderous beast once a month?”
“Oh, I’m a murderous beast every day I continue living.” He said with a smirk on his handsome face. “
Yes, I’m okay wth it. “
“I know someone who would love to study you.”
“Oh, you meant your friend Sheila? I think I’ll pass. I’ve tried therapy before, but it didn’t work so well.”
“How did you know I was talking about Sheila?”
“I know everything there is to know about your past life. That’s why I had Jack turn you.”
“So you're to blame for my cursed life? Why?”
“I wouldn’t call it a curse. You just said this is true freedom. As for why, well that’s better left unsaid for now.”
The wolf closed the door as he exited. I stood there staring out of the window, contemplating his last words. This didn’t have to be a curse. To live forever with no remorse for any of my actions. With the power to do anything I wanted, when I wanted with whomever I wanted. As long as I didn’t get caught stepping out of bounds, the humans would leave me alone.
I did feel something though. Fear. Fear of living forever. Unending life was terrifying and wondrous at the same time. Everyone I once loved would age and die. Even Alan eventually, but I would remain.
“It will fade. The final remnants of your humanity.”
“What?” Isidra asked. She hadn’t noticed Jack enter the room.
“You’re feeling something right now. I can sense it from you. Fear.”
“So you can read my mind?”
“Not exactly. Feelings are not normal for us, so when someone I've turned does feel, I can sense it. It only happens with the young. Those holding on to the last of their humanity. It will fade.”
The two of us stood there staring out of the window for a while longer. We said nothing, we didn’t need to. Jack broke the silence first.
“You will need to be clear-minded once this begins. Your finance was a cop. He will be able to spot deceit and Romulus will never trust you. He knows what you are and who turned you. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t kill you on site.”
“So you’re sending me on a suicide mission?”
“Not if your precious Alan is as in love with you as we think he is. It will cloud his judgment and make him look past your vampirism.”
“Love makes us do stupid things.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“No.”
“Good. We will be leaving soon. Get some rest, even Vampires need sleep.”