The team huddled together. “What’s our strategy?” Noninja asked.

“Skeletons are most vulnerable to bludgeoning,” Lorarona explained. “They have damage resistance to ranged weapons, so our crossbows are out.”

“I’m really glad you paid attention in class,” Miles complimented.

“And hopefully it’s just a regular, but oversized skeleton,” Clancy suggested.

“Then why are its eyes glowing…?!” Miles whispered, his voice quavering.

Clancy shrugged. “Special effects? We’re dealing with theater people, after all.”

A booming, sepulchral voice interrupted them. “If you frightened little mice are done cowering, I’m in the mood to kick all your asses.” The skeleton waved his flaming sword menacingly.

The team exchanged wide-eyed glances. “Nope,” Clancy revealed. “That’s probably a skeletal champion.”

“Maybe he’s just a warrior, though,” Noninja suggested.

With an unusually graceful motion, the skeleton leaped through the air, somersaulted at the zenith, and landed on his feet, the loud crack of his impact echoing through the theater. Without missing a beat, his sword flashed in what seemed like all directions, as he put on a bewildering show of martial prowess, ending with a flourish worthy of a swashbuckler.

“That was good,” Noninja admitted.

“As if,” Miles dismissed. “Too much practice dancing.”

“We can assume he used to be in the theater,” Noninja pointed out.

A subsonic vibration surged, then relented; a barely-visible barrier now surrounded the skeletal champion.

“Was that a ‘stunning barrier’ spell?” Lorarona asked.

“Oh, no,” Clancy whined. “It’s a spellcaster. Wonder what kind?”

The skeletal champion thrust his flaming sword toward them; it left his hand and sped toward them like a missile. They tried to scatter, but Miles caught the brunt of it; he shrieked in agony as it knocked him to the ground. The sword flew back to the skeletal champion; he nimbly caught it with his hand, then blew on it, causing the flames to disrupt momentarily.

Lorarona shivered nervously. “Was that ‘hand of the acolyte’?!”

“Bad news, everyone,” Clancy groused. “It’s probably a warpriest.”

“So what’s our strategy?” Miles mumbled weakly, struggling to down a cure-moderate-wounds potion.

Clancy smiled. “I’ve got an idea.” He twiddled his fingers; his hand began to glow white. As he pointed at the skeletal champion, an intensely bright beam flew from his hand, striking the undead warpriest squarely in the chest.

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The warpriest shivered for a moment, his eyes momentarily going dark. Then, all at once, he returned to normal. “Nice try, wizard,” the skeletal championed sneered. “But your ‘command undead’ spell has failed.” He raised his sword. “And now I have my target of choice.”

As the warpriest began stomping toward the team, he flung his sword in their direction. It flew straight toward Clancy, but narrowly missed. It returned to the skeletal champion’s hand with a loud crack; his eyes seemed to flare with frustration.

“RUN!” shouted Miles, leaping to his feet and grabbing Clancy. “We have to get out of here!”

Clancy shook himself free from Miles’ grasp. “No!” he thundered, as confidently as his middling voice allowed. “Not this time!” He reached into his bag.

“Forget it, Clancy!” shrieked Lorarona. “We have to know when to back down!”

Clancy withdrew a device that looked like a metal tube with some sort of hand grip. “I’m done running,” he menaced.

“What is that thing?” Lorarona whispered weakly.

Clancy raised the device, pointed it at the skeletal champion, and squeezed the handle. A glowing, pea-sized bead erupted from the end of the tube and streaked straight toward their adversary. As it impacted, it exploded into a fireball, consuming the warpriest, obliterating several rows of pews, knocking the team off their feet, and starting several small fires.

There was nothing but stunned silence, and the mild crackling of wood-fed fires, for a long moment. Then Clancy quickly rose to his feet and walked straight into the cloud of smoke. As his teammates gaped, he strode straight up to the warpriest, who was flat on his back, heavily damaged but still barely functioning.

“You’re…” the skeletal champion choked, coughing. “You’re not supposed to be able to do that.”

“So,” Clancy smirked, “you’re saying it works in practice, but it doesn’t work in theory?”

The warpriest stared hatefully at Clancy, but said nothing. With a sneering grin, Clancy brought his foot down on the skeletal champion’s head, crushing it into splinters. The rest of the bones went inert and clattered to the floor. The flames erupting from his sword flickered a few times, then died out.

The rest of the team finally rose to their feet and, winding their way through the scattered fires, slowly approached Clancy. He heard them coming and turned around slowly to face them. The gleam was gone from his eyes; he shivered uncontrollably.

Lorarona reached out to hold his hand. “Clancy? Are you all right?”

He jerked his hand back at her touch. “Leave me alone!” The quick motion made him double over with pain, and he fell to the floor.

She twiddled her fingers; golden light poured from her hand. She touched Clancy; the golden glow discharged into him, but his condition didn’t improve much.

Miles looked worried. “What happened? What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know,” Lorarona replied softly. Then her eyes grew wide. “Ye Gods…I think he might have gained a negative level.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Clancy shot back, panting and fighting for breath. “The fireball just took a lot out of me, is all.” He tried to rise to his feet, but failed. “I’ll be fine. I just need to shake it off.”

Lorarona smiled sadly. “Really? Check your prepared spells. Do you have any level 2s left?”

“Of course I do!” Clancy retorted. “I…” He closed his eyes and touched his hand to his forehead. Slowly, his face showed more and more strain. Finally, he exhaled sharply as his eyes shot open. “No…I don’t. They’re not there.” He rolled onto his side. “Ye Gods, what have I done?”

They heard the sound of water falling and fires being extinguished. They looked up to see new deluges appearing from the air about every ten seconds. The theater filled with steam and smoke; the team members coughed uncontrollably from the onslaught. Finally, the clouds lifted, and only then did they become aware of an angry face peering at them through the curtain.

“What the actual devil?” he shouted. “You just wiped out my whole stage crew, and almost caught the place on fire! Are you insane?!”

The team exchanged unsettled glances, then began making their way toward the stage.