“Miles?” she called. “Miles Stompfoot? Over here!”

Miles’ eyes searched the crowd feverishly, finally alighting upon the comely, adorable form of a familiar-looking elf maiden. His face broke out into a wide, beaming smile as he strode towards her.

“Lorarona?” he trilled. “Great to see you!” He moved in for a bear hug, lifting her clean off the floor. After a few moments, he put her down and beheld her.

He looked around in mild embarrassment. “So you didn’t have anywhere better to go either, huh?”

“No,” she replied coyly. “I was always more of a solo artist. What’s your excuse?”

Miles shrugged. “The guilds want warriors that can follow orders, the city watch doesn’t take anarchists, and…I’m too refined for the other barbarians.”

Lorarona’s eyes lit up. “Really? Your family couldn’t put a word in for you?”

Miles shook his head as he glanced down demurely. “They’ve practically disowned me. My father even said I don’t love violence enough!”

“That’s preposterous!” Lorarona complained. “Didn’t he ever look at your school disciplinary record?”

“Sure,” Miles related. “He said the fact that I actually graduated told him all he needed to know.”

“Well, don’t mind him,” Lorarona assured, batting him playfully. “We’ve got a bright future ahead of us.”

Miles scanned over their surroundings uneasily. Lorarona joined him, looking nervous. “Just as soon as we figure out how to get it started.”

Miles threw his hands up in exasperation. “I can’t believe it’s come to this.”

They stood in a large room, windows and seats around the edge, and many others like them standing in the open space. A stately counter barricaded a third of the area, separating the bureaucrats and their ever-cluttered desks from the riff-raff. Close behind them stood a wall, frequent doors leading to more obscure locations. All around Miles churned a crowd of lost-looking souls, most of them in full adventuring gear. Some, like them, looked as green as catalpas, their blades polished, their armor clean and unspoiled. Many others sported outfits that spoke of broad experience, and the patina of filth that betrayed that they had slept in it. All waited nervously for the same call.

“347!” a loud voice rang out. A portly, disheveled fighter, stumbling unsteadily through the crowd, made his way to the counter. He gulped nervously as the bureaucrat narrowed her eyes, her face curling into a disapproving sneer.

“They call it Adventurer Relations, do they?” Miles announced, reading the prominently-displayed sign hanging from the high ceiling. “More like a cattle call for the desperate.”

“Or those of us starting out,” Lorarona reminded. “There are worse places we could end up.”

“Not many,” Miles grumbled.

“I knew I’d find you two here,” a voice mocked from behind them. Miles and Lorarona whirled around to see a familiar-looking half-orc ninja standing there, grinning flippantly.

“Kurlnuk!” Lorarona barked. Then her expression softened. “Casting your fate to the whims of city government, too, are you?”

“You know I’m not a joiner,” he scoffed. “And it’s Noninja now. I’ve decided to use a stage name.”

Miles arched his eyebrows. “Isn’t it a bit early for that? You don’t even have a reputation yet.”

“I will,” Noninja asserted. “It’s inevitable. I’m simply too good at this.”

Lorarona looked him up and down. “Well, you’re certainly dressed the part. Although I remember you wearing all black, even before specializing in ninja studies.”

“But now,” Noninja declared, his hands flowing over his trim form, “this is my business suit.”

Miles looked closer. “Is that leather armor?” He smirked. “Don’t ninjas usually wear silk robes or something?”

“The stupid ones do,” Noninja growled. “The ones that wanna get stabbed.” He assumed several lithe poses, drawing the attention of a few around them. “This leather’s been treated heavily to stretch. It’s as smooth as silk, but protects much better.”

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

“OK, OK, I believe you,” Miles dismissed. “Just…stop doing that.”

Noninja stopped posing and stood at ease. “Lorarona liked it.”

Miles turned to look at her; Lorarona’s cheeks were flushed. She cleared her throat nervously and looked at her ticket. “So, how long until we get called?”

“It looks really busy in here today,” Noninja sighed. “It could be hours. And the chairs were taken long ago.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Miles groaned.

“Well, sure,” Lorarona pointed out, “but we’d need one more person.”

Miles’ brow furrowed. “What?”

“Don’t you know anything?” Noninja ridiculed. “You really are a barbarian.” He shook his head dismissively. “Most available jobs are for teams, so they don’t have to wait as long.” He glanced over their small group. “We’ve got a heavy-weapons guy,” he pointed out, indicating Miles, “a light-weapons guy,” referring to himself, “and a medic,” waving briefly toward Lorarona.

“I’m a bard!” she protested. “I’m not just here to fix your boo-boos.”

“Bards have extensive healing powers,” Noninja reminded. “And if we’re trying to pass ourselves off as a team, we need a healer.”

Lorarona groaned and rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she seethed. “But we still need another person.”

“That’s right,” Miles joined in. “Command and control, right? Someone to call in air strikes?”

“Which, for all practical purposes,” Noninja clarified, “means a wizard or sorcerer.”

“I think we should get a sorcerer,” Lorarona piped up. “After all, we’re fresh out of school, barely graduated. At our level, native ability overpowers book learning.”

“I don’t think we can afford to be picky,” Miles sighed. “Just someone that can help us form a team.”

“Sure, but who?” Lorarona asked. “Got any ideas, Noninja?”

He didn’t answer; he stared off into the distance, not moving.

“Noninja?” Lorarona called again. Still no response.

She grinned impishly. “Kurlnuk?”

“I told you not to call me that!” he retorted, throwing her a withering look. “I think we just found our mark…I mean, the fourth member of our team.”

“Who?” Miles asked. But Noninja had already begun to stroll away. Wearing confused looks, Miles and Lorarona followed.

Miles’ eyes grew wide. “No,” he protested. “Not him.”

“Who?” Lorarona asked, peering ahead of them.

“But why not?” Noninja asked, a devious smirk blooming from his lips. “He’d be perfect.”

“But he’s such a nerd,” Miles complained. “I can hardly stand to be around him.”

“Then we’ll just have to work on his social skills,” Noninja declared. “He’ll have to be our project. But if anyone’s got the chops to become a powerful wizard, it’d be him.”

Noninja pointed ahead. “Besides, look at him! He’s more lost than we are! I think he’d have trouble finding a doorway at this point!”

Lorarona’s eyes lit up. “Him? Oh, he’d be great!” She smiled. “He was always so nice to me.”

“That’s two votes in favor,” Noninja tallied as he leered at Miles. “Any further objections?”

Miles let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”

“Hey, Clancy!” Noninja called out. A bookish nerd, clad in an elegant robe, jumped at the sound of his name. He turned and stared frantically in the voice’s direction, before his face exploded with a beaming smile. “Kurlnuk? Boy, am I glad to see you!”

Noninja held Clancy in a fraternal embrace; Clancy hugged back, an undignified giggle escaping from him. “Us too! And I’m Noninja now.”

“Really?” Clancy snickered, waving a finger. “Don’t you ever stop being ironic?”

Noninja feigned a look of surprise, and shivered comically. “What? Perish the thought!” He and Clancy shared a laugh.

He turned to look at Lorarona. “Wow! Great to see you again!” Clancy moved in for a heartfelt hug; Lorarona looked taken aback, and patted Clancy hesitantly. He finally released his hold. “You were always so nice to me.”

“Yeah, you too,” Lorarona mumbled.

Clancy’s face fell as he beheld Miles. “But not you. I’m sick of your mean-spirited pranks.”

Miles’ mouth hung open as he gaped speechlessly. Noninja quickly interposed himself between them. “But that’s all in the past, buddy!” he chimed. “I was thinking we could form an adventuring team. We’ll make a name for ourselves in no time!”

Clancy stared into space, his eyes full of stars. “Yeah!” he gushed. “That’s much better than going solo!” He stared fervently at Noninja. “Besides, the line’s a lot shorter for teams, isn’t it?”

Noninja gave Clancy’s back a friendly slap. “That it is. Let’s go get our new ticket!”

“Way ahead of you!” Clancy shrilled as he ran off. Noninja chortled as he moved to follow.

“So that’s it?” Miles snorted. “Just like that, he’s part of the team?”

Noninja threw Miles a disapproving look as he walked away. “Are you kidding? You can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm. Face it, Miles…at this point, you’re the odd man out.”

Lorarona rushed to catch up with Noninja. “Seriously, an urbarian?” he mocked as he turned to her. “Who does that?”

Miles swallowed nervously and followed glumly.