Alwin cracked open his eyelids ever so slightly, letting the dim moonlight creep in. His body ached all over, throbbing from one end of his rotund body to the other. And judging by how incredibly sore it was, Alwin probably received a lot of damage. Just how strong was that bomb of his?

Even though Alwin wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep, he forced himself to push through the pain and sit up. The room came into view as he glanced around. Was he in heaven? Nope. Looked more like the dorms: multiple beds, one huge gender-separated bathroom, and multiple snoring classmates. That was unless... his Spirit Bomb was so powerful that it sent everyone to heaven!

Time to explore eternal paradise. Alwin rolled off his bed, taking extra precaution not to bring his blanky and pillow crashing onto the floor with him. This may be heaven, but who knew if dirt and germs were still a thing here—yuck.

He rolled over to the door and poked his head outside. Corridors stretched left and right, crystals providing soft lighting that barely illuminated the passageway. The cool breeze tickled his skin. It was peaceful too—almost. The loud snores coming from Bion—how did he make it past the pearly gates—definitely ruined the mood.

No time like the present! But, now that he was dead, did that mean he had infinite time? Was reincarnation a thing or did he get to enjoy the rest of his afterlife goofing off? A pang in his slimy heart caused Alwin to pause mid-roll. There were still so many things he hadn't done! He hadn't become Valedictorian. He hadn't become a Minister. Worst of all, he didn't even get to celebrate a single birthday! Oh, the horrors! To think he would die at the ripe old age of nine months old. Woe was him!

Just as he was getting lost in self-pity, a voice tickled his ears, "Alwin?"

Was an angel calling him? Alwin looked up, expecting to see some divine figure descending from above, but all he found was the plain, unremarkable ceiling. Oh no, was it a devil? Alwin glanced down, peeking through half-closed eyelids, bracing for the worst.

Flooring, Just plain old tiled flooring. Thank goodness.

But, then who was calling him? Alwin glanced left and then right, his eyes landing on a familiar monster. Standing there under the dim crystal light was none other than the Potted Sprout, Uchronia.

"Oh, hi Uchronia. You scared me."

"What are you doing?" asked Uchronia, in a hushed tone.

"I'm exploring heaven. Also sorry for blowing you up and killing you. Want to go explore together?"

Even in the poor lighting, Alwin could make out that she was rolling her eyes at him. Uchronia paused, taking a deep breath. "First of all, we're not dead. Second of all, you don't have the skills to kill me. Third of all, go to sleep or you really will end up in heaven."

"I'm alive?"

"Yes, Alwin. You blew yourself up and passed out. Mr. Milvus patched you up, then tucked you into bed. So now go back to sleep. We have class tomorrow—something you’ve been conveniently skipping for quite a while."

"Oh... Well, that sucks."

"Yes, now go back to sleep."

With a pout on his lips, Alwin rolled back to bed. He had really wanted to explore heaven, but Uchronia was such a meanie and pulled him back down to reality. There was only one explanation that his exhausted brain could come up with. Uchronia saw him rolling and now she was hating on him.

After class tomorrow, Alwin was going to perfect that Spirit Bomb of his. Then finally he could destroy his sworn enemy: the wooden dummy!

With those happy thoughts keeping him company, Alwin drifted off to sleep.

The next day, classes were exactly as Alwin had always described them: boring. It felt like it had been ages since he actually sat through a lecture by Milvus, and boy, oh boy, did he not miss it. Talks about what makes a cultivator tick. Discussions about the adventurer's guild system. Speeches about the importance of teamwork.

It was enough to drive a slime to madness—or at the very least, drive him to bed. Going through another tribulation with zero preparation was more palatable than this. Heck, he'd even take one of Lapis' horrible explanations rather than Milvus' droning. A million flashbangs that seared his corneas to oblivion sounded far more preferable to another minute trapped in that stuffy classroom.

And just when it felt like Alwin was about to drown in tedium, he got what he had wished for—sort of. A blinding white light worth at least five flashbangs tore through his vision. It lasted half a second, but it might as well have been an eternity. The light faded away just as quickly as it appeared, leaving behind a ringing in Alwin's ear holes.

Through squinted eyes, he peered around the room. A white room. Oh bother, looks like two of his wishes had come true. First, he got blinded and next, he would be subjected to one of Lapis' lectures. Whatever essence she was going to make him refine next, Alwin was going to do everything in his power to avoid jumping into another tribulation head first. Probably. Hopefully. Maybe.

"Hey, slime boy. Guess why I teleported you over," said Lapis, her drones waving at him.

"You've figured out how to refine a different type of elemental essence and wanted to see its effects on evolution."

"Nope."

"Wait, what? Then why else would I be here?"

"Guess, slime boy. Guess."

"You have a new recipe you want me to try?" Alwin was scraping the bottom of the barrel for answers—granted it was a pretty shallow barrel to begin with.

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"Nope, again. Although I might do that in the future, but never mind that. Guess again."

"Hmm... Did you teleport me over because you missed me and wanted to give me a hug?"

"No. And I do not condone a student-teacher relationship. I brought you here because Milvee's accusing me of not teaching you anything. I taught you a brand new skill that no one has ever learnt before but that doesn't count apparently. Claims that there's no practical uses for it. Also if I had hands they would have done air quotes at the word practical."

"Rambling."

"Oh, right. I forgot we had that little system set up. Thanks, slime boy. Today, I will be proving MIlvee wrong. Today, I will be teaching you my favorite skill. It has helped me through the toughest times of my life. Without it, I'd never be the monster I am today. My undying gratitude goes out to its creator."

Alwin gasped in shock, "Is it a super mega awesome ultra powerful legendary skill that could shake the very heavens?"

"Even better."

"Is it a super duper uber extreme deluxe wicked awesome enhanced crazy trooper double blooper ultra mega perfect powerful rare epic legendary skill?"

"I don't know what half of those words mean in that order, but I'm just going to say yes."

"Well, whatever it is. I bet it's a million times better than having to sit through another one of Milvus' lectures about fighting humans."

"It is! Wait, did I steal you from one of Milvee's classes?"

"Yup! And I am eternally grateful, grand great master Lapis."

"I'm not. If I had a face I would be frowning, but this is the best I can do." One of Lapis' drones flew into the room carrying a marker atop their head. It drew a frowny face on Lapis' crystal-like body, before flying back to whence it came from. "You know, I hope this isn't permanent marker."

"So why are you sad?"

"Because Milvee is gonna kill me for taking you out of class. And before you ask, no you're not allowed to skip any more of his lessons. They are important for your education. Presumably. Anyway, I was supposed to get you in the afternoons but I think something's wrong with my clock. Oh well, time is relative. Since you're here might as well make the best out of our situation. Also, if you could be a quick learner and pick up the skill before Milvee comes and reams me out, that would be great. Thanks."

"You're rambling again. Can you show me this super duper insert a bunch of adjectives here because I'm too lazy to come up with them mega awesome skill?"

"Boys!" Lapis shouted.

An army of drones entered the white room, carrying an assortment of equipment. Two drones brought in matching white plastic tables, setting them side by side. On each table, they laid out an identical set of ingredients. Some flour, eggs, and a bunch of other cooking essentials that Alwin didn't really care enough to list out.

What was Lapis planning to do? Don't tell Alwin that the super awesome add-a-ton-of-adjectives-here skill was actually a cooking skill. That was going to be such a waste of time. Still better than listening to another lecture, though. No, no, no. Lapis was the Minister of Magic not the Minister of Cooking, he should give her the benefit of doubt.

"Now, my young apprentice. Watch closely as I show you how powerful this skill is," said Lapis as she stood in front of a table. "My drones will perform the same procedure to really showcase the difference."

The drones assembled around the table. They began to dump ingredients into a large mixing bowl. An egg here. A pinch of salt there. Some cocoa powder and chocolate chips in between. Vanilla extract for good measure. Sugar, because the drones clearly had a sweet side. Butter, to butter everyone up. Lastly, milk because Lapis was obviously milking the situation.

Yup, Alwin's worst fears have come true. It really was a cooking-related skill. Oh, the horrors. Oh, the time wasted. He could've used this time to practice his Spirit Bomb, but more importantly, practice not blowing himself up. Or maybe he could keep blowing himself up that he would eventually become immune to bombs. Because that's how it works right? Like taking a hot shower and gradually cranking up the temperature until you get used to it… and then cranking it up some more till you’re immune to lava.

While the drones carried out their work, Lapis just floated there watching, waiting. Two drones came into the white room, they obviously weren't affiliated with the group assigned to the baking project. Adorned on the top of their heads were a black marker and a whiteboard duster—Lapis duster in this case.

They removed the frown on Lapis' face and instead replaced it with a smirk. Lapis was smirking? Even if it wasn't a useful skill, it would be fun to watch Lapis school her own drones. Once all of the ingredients had been incorporated into the glass mixing bowl, they affixed it to the glossy red mixer, specially prepared for them.

With the flick of a switch, the mixer whirred to life. The hum of its motor broke the silence of the white room. Its gears turned, spinning the concoction within. Mixing everything together to create the perfect blend of sweetness and softness. Each beat caused a whirlpool inside the glass bowl, stirring, twirling, swirling round and round. The steady, hypnotic movement seduced Alwin's gaze, beckoning it closer and closer and closer until he wanted to dive into the batter, dancing among the eggs and butter.

As his mind drifted further into a trance, a cough broke him out of it.

"Ahem," coughed Lapis, snapping him back into focus. "Ready to watch how it's really done?"

"I'm indifferent."

"Oh," said Lapis. The drones erased her smirk and replaced it with a frown, this time with her mouth hung even lower. "Okay."

"I mean, I can't wait to see the difference." Yup, Alwin totally saved it.

"In that case—" the drones didn't even bother to erase her frown this time. Instead scribbled over it and sketched a huge grin underneath it. "—watch and learn, slime student boy."

Flour puffed into the air, eggs cracked themselves open, and sugar spilled out in streams. One by one, all manner of ingredients began to float out of their containers, hovering above the table.

They spiraled around in circles, like planets orbiting around the sun. Their rotations quickened, their radii shrinking with each passing moment. The mixture spun faster, and faster, as each ingredient began to collide with one another. Globs of butter splashed against drops of vanilla extract. Egg yolks crashed into a river of milk. Each element melted into the other, as they approached the center of their orbit.

Soon, they reached critical mass. Everything converged at the very heart of the vortex, merging into a single point. One by one, the individual components lost their identity, fusing together. There was no longer an egg, nor was there a drop of milk or a hint of cocoa powder. Now there was only batter. Sweet, sticky batter.

Lapis allowed the gooey batter to descend upon a bowl of its own. Seconds after the batter had touched down, did the mixing from the drones ceased. They too had completed their task. From the next table over, the drones revealed their creation—a bowl of batter similar to Lapis'. Almost.

Imperfections marked the dough. Minute lumps disrupted its smooth, homogenous texture. Pockets of air remained embedded throughout its form. Lapis' on the other hand was perfect. Batter so flawless and smooth that it could give silk a run for its money—that's if silk happened to be brown, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Lapis' batter was perfection incarnate.

"So what do you think?" asked Lapis. "Mix is a pretty great skill isn't it."

"Smells yummy," said Alwin.

"Once I bake it it'll taste yummy, but what do you think about the skill?"

"Honestly? Doesn't seem useful."

"Oh," said Lapis. The drones didn't even come in this time, she simply floated upside down so that her huge grin was now a wide frown. "But, it's my favorite move too. You can even use it on other skills."

"Wait, what? Did you say using it on other skills?" yelled Alwin.