After choosing to begin the tribulation the screen disappeared.
"YES! He can have a tribulation! I have another thing to report at my meeting!" shouted Lapis.
Alwin looked around the room, wondering what sort of Elemental Tribulation was about to pop out. Would it be lightning like during Gus' tribulation or would giant vines threaten to snuff the life force out of him? The answer was both. Dark clouds formed overhead, system screens popping out at the base of the black cotton candy of doom. In front of him, another system screen appeared. A brief image of a tree flashed onto it before a single large vine snaked its way out.
"Lightning and Plant Tribulation!" Milvus shouted.
Lightning and Vine crashed forward, both of them converging on their target: Alwin. The Spirit Hands flipped open the pouches and tossed two pills—one yellow and one green—into Alwin's mouth. Swallowing the pill, he could feel his mana reserves dip, as a strange sense of warmness swirled throughout his body.
"Dodge! Attack! Do something!" Lapis shouted.
She didn't need to tell him twice—or even once for that matter. Alwin had been brewing a plan. Was it a plan that Uchronia would approve of? Maybe. Who knows what's going on in that mind right now? She might snap or she might shower him with praises. Okay, now wasn't the time to panic and find solace in narrating his thoughts.
Alwin nodded and the Spirit Hands gave a thumbs up as they received his instructions. A pair grabbed onto his necklace and pulled them apart with all of their might. The fake gold chain snapped apart—because if it was real gold Alwin would never have been able to break it and he'd evolve into a Dead Slime—sending the rings flying in the air.
“What are you doing!” Lapis screeched, while Milvus just gawked like a fish out of water. A white glow enveloped his singular eye and Alwin was surprised he was wasting precious awareness resources on something as trivial as that when there was a lightning bolt and vine headed his way. No more wasting time ruminating, which included explaining his plan—those who want to know what happens just have to keep going.
Three pairs of Spirit Hands grabbed onto the falling rings, each one sliding the menagerie of rainbow rings onto their spectral blue digits, but Alwin's focus was on the two Spirit Hands that donned the ring with a yellow-colored gem and the one that had a green colored gem. The yellow-ringed Spirit Hand floated upward towards the lightning, fists clenched as it punched away heaven's judgment. The green-ringed Spirit Hand floated in front of Alwin, socking the botanical serpent thrashing towards him.
The yellow-ringed Spirit Hand absorbed the electrical discharge, funneling it into itself as its body grew brighter as tens of thousands of amps worth of energy was pumped into it. Meanwhile, the green-ringed Spirit Hand caught the vine's blow, slowing its advance but not stopping it.
As the Spirit Hands collided with the elemental phenomenon, they exploded, splattering into a shower of magical particles. The tribulation was still barreling towards him. But, that was within calculations.
There was a reason why two pairs of Spirit Hands didn't scramble for the rings earlier. A pair of those ring-less Spirit Hands had been behind their now-dead comrades. They grabbed onto the equipment of their fallen friends, the rings sliding into their fingers before they once again collided with the tribulation.
The lightning had lost its bite. Once a brilliant white streak, it now flickered as a mellow yellow hue, its power dwindling from tens of thousands of amps to mere thousands. That didn't mean Alwin was out of danger, he was just slightly less dead. The new yellow-ringed Spirit Hand set out to accomplish the job of its predecessor. Channeling the energy of an abusive relationship, the Spirit Hand slapped the incoming attack. The lightning bolt fearing for its sanity struck back, using up all of the electricity it possessed in one last attempt to fry the offending Spirit Hand.
Smoke rose from the now charred Spirit Hand, who gave Alwin a thumbs up—maybe it should be called a Smoking Hand—which had absorbed the bolt's wrath, leaving the lightning extinguished.
At the same time, the new green-ringed Spirit Hand had been dealing with the oppressive meaty vine. It seemed that the tribulation didn't like being mistreated. The vine rose upward like a snake and looked down at the successor of the Spirit Hand that dared to assault it. It was like David and Goliath or maybe Jack and the Beanstalk if the Beanstalk was a bloodthirsty carnivorous plant.
The green-ringed Spirit Hand and vine were having a stare-off. The only problem was that neither of them possessed eyes, but that didn't stop the tension from rising. The vine crashed downward, threatening to turn the Spirit Hand into a meal for its roots. The Spirit Hand wasn't going down without a fight. It floated upward, planning to meet the vine in the middle. Who would win? A giant vine originating from the system or a floating hand? Seems like the Spirit Hands had inherited Alwin's poor planning abilities. Good thing for them, Alwin was always around to help out.
A regular Spirit Blast would be too weak, while a Spirit Burst Blast would be a huge waste of mana. That was something Alwin had recently learned was a luxury in the heat of battle. Sure, he had some Small Mana Pills on hand—on belt to be more accurate—but they should be saved for emergencies. This wasn't one. That just left Spirit Scatter Blast.
Alwin began preparing the Spirit Scatter Blast within his core. Paper mache shoved into an oven was an odd way to create spells, but if it works then it works. The Spirit Hand clenched its phantasmal blue hands, charging toward the vine or its impending doom if you looked at it from a more practical standpoint.
Five Spirit Scatter Blasts materialized right in front of him, one after another. They sailed through the air, flying up towards the vine that was now inches away from smacking the green-ringed Spirit Hand to the next life. When the Spirit Scatter Blasts were neck and neck with the Spirit Hand they exploded into hundreds of tiny Spirit Blasts, pelting the vine like a barrage of shotgun pellets.
A series of holes perforated the middle of the vine, leaving only a relatively thin—maybe twice the thickness of a normal vine—stricken stem of a plant. The green-ring Spirit Hand crashed through that spindly stalk, severing the head of the vine from the rest of its fleshy green body. The severed piece crashed onto the ground, dissipating into multicolored particles, leaving nothing behind, while the remaining portion of the vine slithered back into the system screen from whence it came.
"Woo yeah, baby! That's what I've been waiting for!" shouted Lapis. "That's my grand student!"
After the interruption by a certain no-good crystal, the screen flickered off, leaving Alwin looking around the room. He was ready for the next screen to pop up and throw anything and everything his way. The Lightning Tribulation that Gus had faced and the vines that Uchronia had gone through were the first two types of tribulations he encountered, but they weren't as intense as the ones they faced—that was a good thing.
While waiting for the next type of tribulation to come snatch his life away, Alwin constructed another set of Spirit Hands to replace the pair that had graciously given their life for the sake of his evolution. That was the fancy way he roleplayed it out in his mind, in reality, the pair that had 'died' were just re-summoned back into existence, ready to wreak havoc against whatever the system threw at them next. As they materialized into existence, they fist-bumped, and took their place next to Alwin, helping to keep a lookout.
One of the Spirit Hands poked him from behind and he knew what that meant. Staring right back at him, were not one, not two, but three new system screens. One of them had an image of a flame, while the other screens had the image of a twister—the flame screen was sandwiched between its tornado siblings.
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"That's the Fire and Wind Tribulation!" Milvus shouted.
The Spirit Hands dug into the pouches and produced two more colored pills: a fiery red and a stormy grey. Alwin gulped them down, the pleasant warmth spreading throughout his body once more. Another chunk of his mana had been depleted and dedicated to fueling the resistance effects of the pill—he really should learn how to increase his mana regeneration capabilities.
This time a singular Spirit Hand possessed both Elemental Resistance Rings. It flew in front of Alwin, ready to intercept the oncoming threats. A tunnel of wind came barreling in like a banshee out to wail on whoever had pissed in her drink, while a blazing fire roared in between them. The fire caught in the wind transformed the horizontal twisters into two spiraling cylinders of flame.
The red-and-grey-ringed Spirit Hand charged forth. Punching a fire tornado wasn't the smartest idea, but it also wasn't the dumbest. Do you know what the dumbest idea was? See for yourself. Alwin in his infinite brilliance had instructed the Spirit Hand to blow the inferno spiral away. Since the hand lacked lungs and a mouth for that matter, it resorted to the only method available to it.
With all five fingers outstretched and staring at the incoming danger, the Spirit Hand began flapping up and down. As the tornado barreled towards the Spirit Hand, it started to fan faster and faster, as if that was going to help. The pitiful amounts of breeze generated by the Spirit Hand was a mere fraction of the breath of the inferno. It wasn't enough to even cool Alwin off from the raging heat that it was outputting, much less blow away the combined might of the Fire and Wind Tribulations.
The twin fire tornadoes consumed the Spirit Hand, in an instant the connection between him and the Spirit Hand was severed. The last message that came through—roughly translated from sign language—was 'Looks like it's my queue to be barbequed.' It elicited a chuckle from Alwin which was much needed in the face of such dangers.
Could he absorb the hit from the tribulation? Probably. Could he do it and live to tell the tale? Absolutely not, that was for certain. His whole plan hinged on turning the Spirit Hands into Sacrificial Hands to mitigate the damage dealt from the incoming attacks, using the Element Rings to lessen the attack even further. But the rings of the recently deceased hand were nowhere to be found. It was most likely tumbling inside of the burning cyclone, getting to experience the inside of a dryer—not recommended for drying clothes.
What to do, what to do? Alwin could only think of one thing to do. A pair of Spirit Hands gathered by his side and threw him into the air, while the rest scattered away from the twin spirals of flame. They curled upwards. The two air worms of flame curled upward! Did they have a mind of their own or did they have slime-tracking technology coded into them! What was he going to do now!
The Spirit Hands flew up toward their—for now—soaring master, hoping to whack him away from the approaching havoc. The havoc was faster! Repeat, the havoc was faster! Now unless Alwin can double jump, he was toast. Not the perfect golden-brown slice of bread with a crunchy exterior and a slightly soft interior. It was going to be burnt to a crisp kind of toast because you turned the knob on the toaster up to eleven, just to see what it would be like. In Alwin's case, the toaster was the fiery whirlwinds that would char him to a blackened lump of goo.
It was a few feet away from him and coming in hot, like really hot. Sweat was pouring down his blobby form, only to evaporate seconds later. Alwin summoned a singular Spirit Hand, the Spirit Hand that had just sacrificed itself for the greater good. Death was inches away now.
That one singular Spirit Hand punched Alwin away from his burning demise, sacrificing itself again.
That punch hurt. But it definitely hurt less than being turned into roasted slime. Alwin crashed past the twin fiery coils he was so close to them that the heat alone was raising the steaks—pun intended. They turned around and were hot on his heels once again. Alwin splattered on the floor and looked up. Running across the room, the twin snakes of flame sought him out—they were hungry for slime, but too bad for the system Alwin wasn't on the menu.
Three pairs of Spirit Hands had positioned themselves, high up above the room, while the last remaining pair had flown down to help pick up their master. Once Alwin was nestled safely within their grasp, they tossed him out of that safety hold. Up. Up. And away! Flying past —Alwin was running out of ways to describe the two fire tornadoes—and crashing into another set of Spirit Hands.
Now was the beginning of an extremely dangerous game of hot potato—one wrong move and he would become a hot Alwin. The Spirit Hands were tossing Alwin, up, down, left, and right. Wherever the two fire tornado serpents were, by hook or by crook, Alwin made sure he wasn't. The twin combination tribulation was spiraling, crashing into each other, as they both chased after the flying Alwin, like a dog trying to grab a flying steak while its owners played keep-away.
If Alwin didn't think of something fast, he'd have to spend all of eternity being tossed around by a pair of hands while avoiding two angry fire tornadoes. That sounded boring. Good thing he already thought of something during this internal monologue.
The original plan was to blow away the tribulation, unfortunately, the only thing that was blown away was his Spirit Hand. Okay, technically the Resistance Rings were blown away too, but they weren't that important. The blowing away part was a good idea, using his Spirit Hands to do that was not a good idea. That's where his new and improved idea to blow the tribulation came into play.
As Alwin was being tossed around like a salad, he was preparing a special helping of Spirit Burst Blast. Taking careful aim, he launched a volley of them into the twins, filling them up with delicious bursting goodness. Once they were filled up, the Spirit Burst Blast exploded. The shockwave caused the Fire and Wind tribulation to disperse, leaving nothing but a handful of Resistance Rings that clanged onto the ground.
The system screens closed and Alwin could safely return to the ground, while the Spirit Hands reclaimed their lost treasures. The red and grey rings were no longer red and grey. While the rest of the rings remained bright and vibrant, the red and grey ones had lost all of their color, becoming dull and translucent.
Was that the last of the tribulations? He doubted it. If it were, Alwin would be glowing. Instead, all of a sudden he was shrouded in darkness—exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He longed to shine like the sun, to bask in the glory that was the light of evolution, but the darkness said 'Nuh-uh'.
Stupid sassy darkness, why he oughta—
"Why you oughta what?" a voice called out from the darkness.
"Who said that?" Alwin whipped around, trying to find the voice's owner.
"You did," the same voice responded.
Within the fog of darkness, two eyes appeared, glowing a fierce amber. Then, like a curtain rising up on the stage, the rest of the creature became visible. Alwin's eyes widened in shock. It was... him.
"Hello, Alwin," the dark figure sneered, a twisted smirk playing on his lips. "Ready to face your true self?"
Alwin gulped, trying to steady himself. "You're... you're me?"
"Not quite," Dark Alwin replied, circling him slowly. "I'm everything you fear. Every doubt, every weakness. The part of you that you try so hard to bury."
"You are? So you're like a dark version of me?"
"Exactly. You should feel honored that I, the embodiment of all your fears, have descended from the system to meet you personally."
"Okay, cool. So we're going to fight, realize that we're evenly matched and can't one-up each other. Then I'm going to have some emotional breakthrough, probably explain to you that I accepted myself, then we hug or something, and you fade away. Can we just skip to the end?"
Dark Alwin glared at him. "Your logic is right, not perfect, but right. And frankly, pretty much everyone has figured out the trick to beat the Dark Tribulation. If they don't there's always someone in the background shouting out how to beat it. It's not fun anymore. I'll have to go back to the drawing board and come up with a tougher Dark Tribulation, and you Alwin will be my first test subject."
"Wait, are you not like an evil version of me? I'm confused."
"I am both the embodiment of all your fears and darkness incarnate itself. Goodbye, Alwin. The next time you desire to challenge the system you better be prepared."
"Yay?" Alwin said, unsure of what to make of what had just happened.
Dark Alwin dissolved into the shadows, leaving Alwin standing there, jaw practically hitting the floor. He had defeated the Dark Tribulation... apparently. That was anti-climactic. But now more questions were raised. Evolution meant going against the system? And now he was public enemy number one against the embodiment of Darkness—who or whatever that was. Enough introspection, time to get back to fighting!
The darkness that enveloped him began to dissolve, tendrils of shadow retreating like smoke in the wind. As his vision cleared, the Evolution Chamber came into view. Alwin's Spirit Hands fluttered around him, prodding his gelatinous form. Had he been in some sort of meditative state during the Darkness Tribulation?
Inside the protective glass chamber, Lapis had her face smooshed against the glass. All eight of Milvus’ paper-like tentacles were wrapped around her, straining to keep Lapis from bulldozing through the glass and interrupting his tribulation. Lapis' muffled shouts and Milvus' desperate grunts pierced through the glass chamber, breaking the silence of the tribulation.
A bright light enveloped his whole form and he could see nothing but white. Was he finally evolving or was this some sort of bamboozle and this was actually a Light Tribulation—if those even exist? He'd find out soon enough.