Alwin felt a persistent poking at his side, dragging him from the depths of sleep. He mumbled incoherently, burying his face deeper into his pillow. Glancing at the clock, it told whispers of the time being three in the morning. Who was waking him up this early? Seriously! Alwin needed his beauty sleep to keep his body pretty. Just because he was two months old didn't mean he didn't have to worry about his looks. It's all about starting early and maintaining that youthful look that so many yearn for.

He rolled over, cocooning himself in his blankets like a caterpillar determined to stay in its chrysalis. Any future pokers would have to contend with the mighty fortress he'd constructed. Surely, that would deter any would-be assailants and let him return to dreams of fame, fortune, and—oh right—becoming a Minister.

A cold breeze washed over Alwin. That should be impossible! The supreme blanket fort that he had constructed should protect him against anything, so how? Cracking one eye open, dread settled in his stomach. His fort had been destroyed! The blanket no longer surrounded him, instead, it was left to warm up the cold hard floor. The poor thing was probably contaminated now. Great. Now he'd have to do laundry instead of sleeping.

Standing over the blanket—now it was even dirtier—was the culprit. It was none other than the Potted Sprout Uchronia. Why he oughta—Oh look, her bio-ceramic pot had grown back. It was probably warm and toasty inside of it. Maybe he should goad her into performing a Pot Shot on him, then he could slide inside the brown pot, let the warmth embrace him, and drift off into slumber land.

"Alwin," she whispered into his ear. Gross. Alwin could smell her morning breath, which smelled like fertilizer—the organic kind.

"What do you want?" Alwin whispered back. He held his breath hoping that she could get her message over and done with so that he could get back to breathing.

"I need to talk to you. I told you that I had a plan," she whispered.

"Can't we do it in like five hours? I want to sleep."

"We were supposed to have this conversation after dinner, but somebody was passed out on the bed. But that's good, cause now is the best time to talk assuming you don't wake up the whole room."

"I mean, in five hours' time it'll still be after dinner, so we can talk then."

Uchronia leaned in close, the stink leaking out of every breath, causing his eyes to water. "We do it now or else."

"Okay, fine, fine."

Next time she demanded something from anybody, all she had to do was not brush her teeth for a day and lean in close. Just by doing that everyone would concede to her requests just to get her to move away so that they could resume their privilege of inhaling non-toxic air.

Alwin rolled out of bed, moving away from the horrid stench. As he stared at his blanket on the floor a whirlwind of thoughts spun in his mind. Should he throw the blanket back on the bed? But that would mean his bed would get dirty. If he left it on the floor, then others might step on it and it would get even dirtier. Alwin was at an impasse.

"C'mon, what's the holdup," Uchronia whispered.

It might have been the lack of sleep, but he swore he could see stink lines emanating from her mouth, coiling around him like Bion's tendrils during their sparring session. No idea which one was worse.

Alwin had to make a decision. To leave the blanket on the floor forced to live a dirty fate or subject his bed to the same disgusting tortures that the blanket suffered. If only there was a third option. Oh! There was a third option, a compromise. Smashing his head into his pillow—to muffle the noise so that he wouldn't wake anyone—Alwin summoned his Spirit Hands.

Uchronia looked at him, wondering what the ever living heck was he doing. The Spirit Hands picked up the blanket and laid them on the bed frame. Unfortunately, a part of the dirty blanket was still pressed up against the floor while another part lay on his bed. But, the thing was, Alwin was small! He didn't take up the whole bed so that part of the bed could be contaminated and he wouldn't be affected! With the conundrum settled he could go see what was all the fuss that Uchronia was kicking up.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Alwin whispered as he dismissed his Spirit Hands.

"Follow me."

Alwin trailed behind Uchronia as she brought him out of the dorms. Never would he have thought that he would be working out his eyelids at this time of day. They wanted nothing more than to seal his eyes shut, but Alwin struggled and fought back, keeping them open. Right now, the crystal lights were motion-activated. It felt like there was a constant spotlight on them that moved alongside them as the lights flickered on and off. Where was Uchronia leading him and why could he still smell her breath from all the way here?

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Eventually, she brought him out of the academy. Standing on the stone path as he looked up at the twin moons gracing the sky—yes, this was Earth and he had no idea why there were two moons instead of one—Alwin wondered why she brought him out here. Was she going to confess to him? Wait, Alwin didn't even see her that way and she probably didn't see him that way. So, why were they here, and what were they going to do?

Their destination wasn't just the outskirts of the academy, which was a bummer. Walking so far in the wee hours of the day wasn't what he had planned. They continued past the main gates of the academy and Alwin could see the gigantic warp station in all of its architectural glory that Alwin lacked the vocabulary to properly describe. Also, because he was lazy and he had already done it before.

They descended into the town where, surprise, surprise. It was dead because it was three in the flipping morning. Why, oh why, did you have to torture Alwin like this? What was so important anyway?

Finally, she stopped near the outskirts of some park. Their only source of light was the twin moons shining down at them and that one streetlight presumably fitted with a crystal instead of a lightbulb. There was a bench nearby and Alwin wasted no time to plop his behind on the cold hard metallic frame—it wasn't that comfortable but it sure beats standing.

"So..." Alwin looked at Uchronia, hoping that she would shed some light on why she brought him here before the sun shed some light on them.

"Did you already forget what the academy did to us?" she said, speaking at a volume that was loud enough to show that she was upset but not loud enough that it might rouse suspicion from whatever weird monster might be lurking around these parts at this hour.

"I didn't forget... I just didn't care that much. I mean it is kind of dark if you think about it, but that's why I choose not to think."

"You're annoying. But, I don't know who else to trust. So I'm stuck with you."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only other person who knows about what they did to us and—"

"Don't Milvus and Lapis know too?" Alwin interrupted.

"You know what I mean and don't interrupt me. I'm going to make sure that no one has to go through what we did and you're going to help me."

"What did we even go through? Classes too early in the morning?"

"You know what they did! They stole our lives from us, and put mental inhibitors in our minds to prevent us from thinking about taboo topics. You said it yourself, they're making child soldiers."

"Ok, fair. So how are you even going to stop them from making even more of... us? Destroy the academy? Kill everyone that was involved?"

"I'm going to do something even tougher than that. I'm going to rework the entire system and for that, I need to become a Minister."

"So our goals are aligned, neat. I don't think you had to drag me all the way out here just to tell me that."

"Well, I don't want other people potentially eavesdropping in on us. Who knows what they might do to us? And did you say you want to become a Minister too?"

"Couldn't you just write it down on a piece of paper, let me read it, and then burn the paper afterward? And yes, I want to become a Minister."

"I mean...I guess. But why do you want to be a Minister? Also, can we stop having two separate conversations at the same time?"

"I don't know. I just thought it would be cool." Alwin shrugged. "But how does telling me that you want to be a Minister even help you? It's not like I'm in the Minister choosing committee or however they're decided. Do you think it's like a voting thing? Is there an election every couple of years?"

"It helps because I need to know that there's someone by my side. I can't just keep these things bottled up, I need someone to tell things to and you're the best I got."

"Isn't that what a therapist is for? How was your session by the way?"

"You don't seriously expect me to tell the enemy about my plans... Are you dense?"

"No, I'm Alwin. Also, can we go back to bed now? I'm sleepy."

"Whatever." Uchronia rolled her eyes "And expect fortnightly sessions, weekly if I'm feeling stressed. To be a Minister means to be the best in a particular field and the best way to get noticed as the best is by aiming to be Valedictorian."

"But, I want to be Valedictorian."

Uchronia looked at Alwin for a moment, gears turning inside that plant bulb head of hers. "No."

With that Uchronia started the trek back to the academy while Alwin hopped behind her, reflecting on what she had dumped onto him moments ago. In order to prevent any more horrible acts from occurring she intended to change the system from the inside out, to do that she was going to be a Minister, and to become a Minister she first had to become the Valedictorian, presumably. Still have no idea how Ministers were chosen.

And now she wants to use Alwin as a fortnightly dumping ground where she let loose all of her pent-up emotions and he couldn't even say no. Well... he would've said yes, anyway, but at least give him an option instead of forcing it onto him.

There was also another problem. Alwin shared similar goals with Uchronia. Not the changing the system part, but the Minister and Valedictorian part. It wasn't that Alwin was going to outshine Uchronia and steal those spots from him, it was the opposite! Uchronia was too hardworking. She would overshadow him more than a Shadow Jellyfish and leave him in a room darker than a Dark Slime. Oh well, he'd find a way to compensate. Plus there was that whole thing about getting stronger then defeating Gary Stew and the two young masters of the Crimson Gold clan. Alwin would have his revenge and their fight would be legendary!

Returning back to the dorms, Alwin had to make a hard decision. It didn't have anything to do with what had transpired during their short adventure outside of the academy. It was far worse. Alwin had to decide whether to go wash his blanket now or do it in the morning. It was with a heavy heart and a very cold body that he chose the latter. That night he shivered and shook in his sleep, the warmth of his blankie having been stolen from him by the evil Uchronia and the dirty floor.

Tomorrow would be his first day back in class. Sadly. He was already dreading waking up tomorrow and if this sounds familiar that's because Alwin was too lazy—I mean tired—to think of a better closing statement. Don't blame him, blame Uchronia. Now, sleep.