Jake was doing something when he encounters a sign.

"there's a boat race and the winner gets the reveloutuonary new VR headset" the sign said.

wow "said jake" I need that.

so he went to grab his boat, which was 10 miles long, revved it up, and took it to the boat race place. But there, he encountered.... the castrated arrogant Noble, Jake thought he was dead!

"Fuck you noble idiot bitch! Eat my ass and cock and balls!"

"My boat is ten times bigger than yours retard bitch!"

"Oh yeah???? Well I'm gonna shove my boat down your throat!"

"Oh I'd like to see you try!"

"It won't just be me! Me and four of my friends are gonna be shoving our boats down your throat and up your fucking ass!"

"Shut up loser dum dum"

Jakes face went red with embarrassment, he had just been called a loser dum dum!

"i a-h-h u-um well- uh well you-uh-uhm but uh um I-I ah... um uhh i-m n-not ah um uhm... uh... y-you ar-re a-a uh ah uhh um ah uh umm a-ah b-but I-I am n-not... n-no y-you s-see, w-well..."

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But then the race was beginning!

Jake thrust the throttle full force, adrenaline coursing through his veins along with the coke he had done earlier, he felt alive for the first time in weeks, pressing full force into the water in front of him, the castrated noble pushing into him from behind. He grinned, and did a handbrake turn around a corner. But then the CN did the same. Jake grinned and pressed the throttle further, but he could tell it wouldn’t be enough to win the race. So he grinned and quickly rubbed one out into the fuel canister. Jake grinned as the improvised fuel ignited and he felt his boat reach light speed, sailing past the cuck noble, who he grinned at. Jake grinned as he sailed past the goal post, cock erect.

“Wow” said the judge sitting there, “you won the race, but to get the headset you must beat the cockless one in a duel”

“I already did”

“shut up dum dum”

"i a-h-h u-um well- uh well you-uh-uhm but uh um I-I ah... um uhh i-m n-not ah um uhm... uh... y-you ar-re a-a uh ah uhh um ah uh umm a-ah b-but I-I am n-not... n-no y-you s-see, w-well..."

But then the duel began!

The two masters of the erectus fighting style danced back and forth, trading blows and kisses, Jake would strike forward with a daring thrust and the cuck would counter and deal back a frightening riposte. The intensity of the blows grew and grew. Until the fighting grew to a standstill.

“So it comes to this” said the manlet noble.

“Indeed” Said Jake solemnly “I am sorry, old friend”

And then the two masters drew their foreskins back.

I would tell you the details of the fight that ensued, the power the two pinnacles of human combat capability unleashed, the methods they used to scar the earth for ever more on that day.

But frankly child, I do not wish to.