“There was once a legend about a guy that would save the world using only his dick, and it was pretty hot, like really hot, would turn a straight man gay, has turned a straight man gay, on several occasions, myself included, in fact, it even turned the gay men gayer, jesus christ it really was that good”

-final words of Baracko Bamason the royal bard

........

James had just got done banging hoes and fucking whores when the Emporer rang him up like “hey Jonathan o it’s time for the tourney”

And Joseph said “aight cool let’s go and tourney”

And then there was a tourney

Jeremiah's first opponent was this guy.

“Ahahah,” the guy said, “this guy looks like a virgin!”

“You fool,” said Jules “ it is thou who looks to be repulsive to the fair sex”

And then the other guy fucking died.

John was fighting this other guy, and if he beat him he would have won the entire tourney!!! The other guy looked pretty wack too so he could probably beat him as long as nothing went wrong. “Wow,” the other guy said, “I thought the beast boys were gonna attack today and interrupt the tourney, I guess not”

But then…. There was a rumble in the sky!

The beastie boys had arrived!

“It’s us! The beastie boys!,” they said “luckily we’re not gonna only kill people with the divine dragon blood, and no one ever gets the dragon blood it’s crazy rare and powerful”

Jayden was relieved, but just to be sure, he cut his finger and tasted his own blood… It tasted like divine dragons!

“wow I have the bloodline of divine dragons, that’s so crazy bro!”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“but it tastes like gay cum,” he thought after a second, muttering under his breath.

“Did someone say their blood tastes like gay cum?!” said one of the beastie boys?”

“no, because only someone who drank gay cum would know what it tastes like” Jerry proclaimed because Jene was not gay, and did not like being penetrated by another man's penis. which had never happened to him. because he was not gay.

but then suddenly, Jimmy had an idea! “hey boys, if you slurp my blood and think its gay, then that means you are gay, right?”

“Oh my god,” the beastie boos had cold sweat dripping down their massive dragon dicks.

“You first, beastie boys,” Jill said, “if you don't enjoy the sweet taste of peen then you have nothing to fear, correct?”

The leader of the beastie boys was sweating, but he couldn't back down… if he did then he would be admitting to the world that he liked shoving coat hangers up his ass!

So the leader stepped up, and, hiding his erection, sucked blood from a cut that Jing’Ting had opened on his (ngl pretty big (like 4 real(nice shape too?)) cock. it did not taste gay at all! He was safe!

But then Big J lifted his considerable shaft and gave a snort of amusement, for he had outsmarted the dragon duo, “you fools, your cretins, you bitches and you retards, you have been bamboozled and caught without your bamboozle protection, you have been fucked without a condom, you looked at furry porn behind only three proxies, and most importantly of all, you have been judged as gay”

“W-what? How? Where and when?”

“Think about it you imbecile, I have outsmarted you into doing something gay!”

“Oh my god! You tricked me into sucking your dick! That was gay!”

“Indeed, fool”

“No!, how could you? Why would you do this to me?”

“Because, needle-dick, and listen closely”!

“What is it???”

“You posted cringe!”

“Fuck!” said the two brothers as the light faded from their eyes.

system: congratuwulations!1!! uwu have incweased your int skill! That’s a bigsy tootsy int u have here owo

With a sudden shock, Jones realized what he had been missing all along… he had not fucked a hoe or banged a whore in so long! All of a sudden, his meaty member was shrinking. What did this mean? Jingo then left to go on a journey of self-realization, where he would discover that he needed to fuck a hoe at least once a month and bang a hoe every day.

system: congratuuwuwulations!!!!! yuwu have incweased youw WIS! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

0h my go;d you a”re so po*werfull that t&e system is brEak1ng, t”his is sh£own throu!h how t#ere are lot’s of symbols%

So, to fix the system, J’a Tep made a system fixing sandwich and on the sandwich, he put lettuce, carrot, ham, guacamole nigga penis, and mustard.

But not cucumber because cucumber was gay.

Or was it?