Jake watched his first opponent, a man with a knife.

The countdown began, the crowd chanting it.

'5'

'4'

'3'

'2'

'1'

The fight began with the man lunging at him, Jake blocked the blow and then stabbed the man, killing him, and then the fight was over.

'Wow, spectacular performance Jake! For your efforts, you get a legendary sword forged in the fires of hell! It drains the souls of anyone it touches!'

'cool'

Jake walked out of the arena with his sword, which he had decided to name 'Killfuck' his head held high. He felt good. But there was still more to be done, first, he went to an inn and then up to the barkeep.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

'where do I learn magic'

'you a mage?'

'prolly'

'aight go to the center of town and ask around for 'magic school''

Jake did as he said and went to the center of town and asked around for 'magic school' he soon found himself at the gates of a fancy building,

'Wow, this is fancy, very fancy indeed' Jake remarked

But he was interrupted from his musings by an arrogant young master arriving behind him.

The man sighed pompously

'after a long hard day of raping babies, I have my way blocked by a country bumpkin, get out of my way peasant The man said pompously

'No I wanna get into the school'

'you??????? in the school?????? never gonna happen' The man said pompously

'how'd I get in???'

'you gotta be tested for being a mage and if you're a good enough one they'll let you in' The man said pompously

'ok I'll do that then'

'i doubt a common peasant would be a mage' The man said pompously

'fuck off cunt' Jake replied

'no u' The man said pompously

'I'l see ya around right'

'I guess' The man said pompously

Jake went off to the testing arena where he was told he would find out if he was a mage or not. He went to the front row and asked to be tested for whether or not he was a mage'

He was brought to a backroom where a man in black robes stood.

'This is a test for magical affinity, it will tell us how well you can form mana of all the elements'

'ye'alright'

'you know what the elements are?'

'can't be assed to find out'

'fair enough'

the man waved his arms a bit and then looked aghast

'Oh my god you have a flawless afinity for al the elemets!'

'rly?'

'yeah dude you are literally a walking god'

'ok cool when do i start at the school'

'tomorrow'

'bye'