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Kami-Sama
Chapter 34

Chapter 34

I was dreaming and in the dream I was in agonizing pain. Looking down at myself, I saw a great trident in my chest, its three prongs clearly piercing my flesh and tearing holes in my lungs and my heart. I cried out in panic, and every breath was torment and every heartbeat was torture. I reached down to grasp the weapon and pull it out of me, but it held fast inside me, it’s ends coming out my back and sprouting hooks that further tore into my flesh. I screamed in agony.

But as I looked, I saw that blood poured out from the wound but no fading black of death came over me. I was still alive, yet forced to endure the pain. Suddenly, the trident transformed into a thorny vine, sprouting out of my chest and growing on and around me, sucking my blood for its own growth as a parasitic entity. The vines grew and pinned me down onto the ground, it thorns digging into me in every part of my body. The pain stayed with me and as much I struggled, I could rid myself of it.

I screamed out for help, calling upon a divine entity, any divine entity to save me from my wretched existence. Every second was an eternity of torment.

A throne appeared before me, large and oaken in the making. It sat upon a dais and upon the throne, a greying old man sat. The man wore great splendorous robes of purple and gold and in his left hand he held a scepter of authority. From him, blue lights of brilliant hues shown as materialization of his power. From his throne, he looked down upon me with pity.

“What is it you want?” Drfuil asked me solemnly.

“I want freedom from my pain,” I answered, struggling under the weight of the vines.

Drfuil shook his head at me, “I cannot do that. For that pain is what you have caused to yourself.” He pointed down at my chest and said, “Look.”

I looked down as gasped in horror, for I saw now why I had not died. The bulb of the vine was my own face. When I looked at it, it let out a terrible scream, animalistic and savage and the vines tightened around me. I looked and saw that they too had many faces on them. Each one wailing in pain, anguish, and rage, all speaking at once.

“I have been ripped from my home!”

“I have been beaten and chained by my enemies! Tortured and captured!”

“I’m scared, I’m scared!”

“I have been hurt and laid out, naked upon the floor!”

“Every turn I am surrounded by those who wish to destroy me!”

“The universe has conspired against me, forcing me onto this path.”

“It hurts, its hurts!”

The vines cried out endlessly, repeating their lines over and over again and making their twisted faces at me and calling out in despair. I turned away from them in horror, but the voices grew louder and their thorns dug in deeper; I couldn’t escape. The face on the bulb looked out at me, its eyes wild and insane. It called out with all the hate in the world, “God has betrayed me!”

“Do you see?” Drfuil asked stretching out his hand. There was sadness in his eyes. “Your disobedience is suffocating you. Your anger and hate choke you and hurt you; you have caused all your pain yourself. Acceptance of my words will bring you peace.”

“I never wanted this!” I shouted back. The vines squeezed me again and I screamed in pain. Panting, I continued, “I didn’t want to be a part of anything, I only wanted to be left alone!”

“You foolish human,” Drfuil responded. “There is no such thing as alone. Each of your choices affect the world around you and the people in it. You have so much potential for good, why do you deny it?”

Even as Drfuil spoke, he faded from sight, his words also disappearing into darkness. The pain also receded from me and I saw that my body was once whole again. I looked around, but could not see anything, and I wondered if I was back inside the seal, inside the endless darkness. I felt the fear and panic fill me again.

But soon I saw a dim light appear far away, small and yellow in the distance. It grew in intensity and I saw that it was a sunrise on a great land. Brilliant rays of light spewed forth from it, colors of yellow orange and red showering the sky in a stunning display of divine magnificence.

I was high in the air, looking down upon the land. Large plains were shown to me, along with mountains and deserts and vales. A vast ocean shown on the left, its waters sparkling in the hot morning light and long rivers of golden hues ran from the mountains, spilling onto the lands before finding its way to the eternal waters.

The beauty of the sight moved me, and forgotten already was the torment from before. A new kind of tears formed in my eyes as I beheld its majesty. I heard the voice of Drfuil ringing out across the lands, saying, “My heart is with my land, I live and breathe with its life and I die with its destruction.”

But then the light disappeared suddenly, erasing the sight before me and the deep voice of the god turned swiftly into a cry of despair and it said unto the darkness. “My land, my land, how long must you wait before your hurts are healed and the light returns? How long until peace is found and you come to know your god again? There is one who could save you, but will he accept his calling?”

The calls of the god rang in the silence and was joined with thousands of voices from below, each crying out in pain and anger, calling for safety and salvation. The voices reached me, calling for rescue, piercing me like many pointed arrows.

I clasped my hands on my ears, wishing that the voices would go away, but the sounds only intensified. It grew too much for me and I shouted back at the relentless cries, “I won’t! There is no salvation, there is only death! I will not give me self to you, leave me alone!”

The voices grew louder, hurting me and I could only scream back at them, “STOP YELLING AT ME!”

With that, the voices went silent. I slowly pulled my hands away from my ears, wondering what new torment was contrived up for me next. But all that came was the voice of Drfuil, speaking directly to me again, “I have not given up on you yet, boy. My will will be done.”

Drake awoke violently, gasping for breath and covered in sweat. Soft white sheets were on him but he shoved at them quickly, certain that on his chest the strange parasite would be on him again.

His chest was clear, though, and he sat gazing down upon it trying to recall what had made him so panicky. Even as he strained his thoughts, his dream narrative slowly faded from recollection.

Shrugging it off, Drake looked at his settings, trying to grasp where he was. For a moment, he thought he was back in his room at his Father’s palace. Soft and giving pillows lay scattered about him. The room he was in was small yet comfortable, with pale golden bricks and large arched windows that let in a soft diffused light. The floor was tiled and intricate and lanterns mounted on the walls were slowly coming to life signaling the approaching end of the day.

Drake cast off his blanket and stepped barefoot onto the cool tile floor, feeling strangely unsteady on his feet. Other furniture in the room included closets and shelving filled with interesting trinkets and foreign objects.

There was only one door, large and wooden and decorated with art and gold lining. The other four walls seem to lead out only into the sky, as each had large open windows and no apparent view of land. Confused, Drake stepped closer to the window and what he saw took his breath away.

Apparently, he was in a tall tower, placed impressively high inside The Endless City. Below him, and as far as his eyes could see to his left and right, a city lay impossibly large and surreal. Buildings, towers, shops, markets, and palaces were spread out for miles, filled with the millings of the humans who lived and worked there. In front of him and now partially blocking Kami’s lantern in the sky was the great wall, still miles away, but somehow smaller than what he saw it as before.

Then Drake realized that the wall had not gotten small, his own placement was further in the city, a room placed within another set of walls, higher and stronger than even the outer walls of the city. Looking directly down, he saw the face of his building continue out of sight below him. He felt slightly dizzy at the sight and stepped back hastily from the edge.

And then listening intently, all the noise of the city was distant and peaceful, as if he was removed from the action and set upon a high throne overlooking the men. Drake knew now that he was in The Endless City, the City of Gold, and that it had earned its name justifiably. From his perch, Drake could forget about his concerns and feel secure in the unmovable might of the city.

The great lantern dipped slowly, and then finally disappeared from sight. The lanterns in his room brightened accordingly, casting shadows across the room from the furniture and bed. But looking out again, Drake saw a large light still glowing out there, but slightly behind him.

He moved to his left window and looked out and back as far as possible, hoping to catch a glimpse of the strange alluring light from the city. He saw that the soft golden beams were emanating from another large palace, far away and secluded in the middle of the city. There were no towers or building near it, as if it had been left aside and designated solely as special. The palace had large towers and walls, as if it was a small fortress unto itself.

Still straining to see clear, Drake heard Ashton’s voice behind him, “That is Kami’s temple. It always glows like that, but it is especially noticeable at night. It is a symbol of his presence and power, I suppose.”

Drake didn’t look back, but stared at the temple captivated. “That is where Kami is?” he asked, still in awe at the sight.

“I have been told that at least,” Ashton answered, coming up next to me. “And it’s probably true. There isn’t a greater building in the entire city.”

“You’ve seen the whole city?”

Ashton chuckled slightly, “Hardly, it really is an endless city, not just time wise.” He pointed out the window towards the city, thousands of small lanterns far below dotted the landscape. “You can see far from here though. We are at or near the center of the city; god’s temple wouldn’t be anywhere else I suppose.”

Drake continued to look out over the calm setting, feeling the gentle breeze blow through the room. Tall curtains of deep red rustled quietly in the breeze. Ashton spoke, chuckling again, “I’m surprised you aren’t all excited, shouting and jumping around in confusion, threatening to break down doors and such. Why so calm Drake, aren’t you wondering where we are?”

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Drake turned around and leaned back upon the railing, “The questions can wait for now, can’t they? I just want to enjoy the moment. I doubt I’ll get many chances in the future. I’m sure Gatal will get here any moment and spoil it.”

Ashton smiled back, “It had been a while since it been this peaceful.” He relaxed and leaned forward against the railing. He said, “It is hard to believe that this place really existed, you know. Even now, after a week inside of it I am still amazed. Only months ago we were below it in the tombs, or whatever they are called. I hardly believed any sort of atmosphere existed back then anyway. And then outside the city, all was forests and land except for the wall, right? Both places were hard and cruel and now here we are actually inside the city we’ve been working so hard for. It’s so peaceful here, such extremes don’t seem to fit each other, you know?”

Drake nodded. After a moment, he asked, “We’ve been here for a week?”

“A little bit longer actually, but what does it matter?” Ashton replied carelessly. “Gatal brought you here, to his personal residence for you to, uh, rest up. I haven’t had anything to do the whole time you know. Unlike the rest of them, I was transferred from the regular army into Gatal’s personal guard.” Ashton snorted, “Not that he needs guards of course. He was right when he said he wasn’t going to let you out of his sight again, Drake. ”

Drake sighed, “Well, that was the price wasn’t it? Whatever he plans for me, you and the other are safe inside the city now.” He flashed a sad smile at Ashton. “Gatal was right all along, but even he underestimated the enemy.”

Ashton frowned at Drake and asked, “How much do you remember?”

“Well,” Drake responded scratching his chin. “I remember dying.” He looked sideways at Ashton.

Ashton frown had turned into a scowl and he asked sweetly, “Please do not play games with me, Drake.”

Drake sighed and turned away, fingering the ring on his neck. Ashton waited patiently until Drake answered. “Everything, actually. Don’t ask me to explain it, but I remember fighting that vessel. I remember the feeling of the halberd in my hand, the feeling of power in my limbs. But it wasn’t me.” He gripped his hands and looked at Ashton, “I remember the rage inside of me as I fought him.”

Ashton asked cautiously, “Drfuil took control of you?”

Drake shook his head, “Yes, and no. It was my own will. I had wanted to destroy that vessel, but I was only human, you know. And I was killed by him.”

Ashton gaped at him, and said softly, “Drfuil can even resurrect the dead?”

Drake considered the words and responded, “Well, no. It looks like that, but nothing can bring the dead back to life.” Ashton paused and gave Drake a confused look. Drake continued, “I know, I know. You could say that my human side as killed, but I wasn’t entirely human? Whether I had accepted it or not, I was still a vessel of Drfuil. It would take more than that to kill a me.” Drake turned away and looked out the window again, not wanting to see Ashton’s searching eyes. He swallowed and continued, “Inside of me, I can now feel… myself. I mean,” Drake added, fumbling with words. “The vessel me, the potential inside of me. The me I would be if accepted Vesselhood. Am I making this clear at all? It is like the exoskeleton of an insect being casted off. The shadow of Drfuil lurks inside me and when my body died, it surfaced, showing me what it meant to be his vessel. And in my anger, I let him.” Drake sighed and added, “I’m afraid I accepted a part of the ring that I cannot return.”

“What does that mean?” Ashton asked behind him. Drake couldn’t discern the man’s feelings from it.

Drake turned around sharply, facing Ashton squarely, but Drake couldn’t read the man in the dim light. He said loudly, “It means I’ve taken an irreversible step towards becoming a vessel.” Drake clenched his fists together and finished, saying, “I fear now that from here on I will only fade away, slowly but surely losing my mind to the ring until I eventually become Drfuil’s mindless pawn!”

Ashton didn’t respond and Drake turned back to the city, but even its soothing lights could not calm his frightened heart. He spoke again, “There’s nothing worse than knowing you will slowly but surely lose your mind!”

“I don’t know if that is true,” Ashton spoke up. “Hasn’t Drfuil always given you a choice? With all his powers, could he have not simply forced you to wear the ring? Even now, you are back with us because you refuse him. I see the only way he will have you is when you accept it. He will not take you until you actually choose him, so do not be afraid.”

Drake didn’t respond and Ashton let the time slip by peacefully. The Great Lantern had set completely and it was night again. Looking up, Drake was reminded how fundamentally foreign this place was. No clouds were above them, but neither were there any stars. Ashton retained a healthy skepticism towards Drake’s claims of endless amounts of balls of light unimaginably far away and large, but Drake didn’t forget.

Drake said with his voice full of longing, “I want to go back home Ashton. I am tired of this place. All my troubles i had the seem so insignificant compared to what i have experienced this last half year.”

Unexpectedly, Ashton slapped him hard on the back cheerily, “Well, that’s good! Gatal professes the ability to return us home. Have some hope Drake, home is surely waiting for you. Come now, Gatal had asked me to come up to fetch you. Who knows how he knew you would awake today and at this hour, but I have learned to stop wondering at the man. I may officially be the priest’s guard, but assistant would be more accurate.”

“What does he want?” Drake asked warily letting Ashton lead him away.

“Who knows? Ashton responded, a little too happily. “That magician has plans inside of his plans, inside of his sleeves! You can never tell what he has going on up there. He claims that what happened in the frontline was a disaster on every count, but he got what he wanted out of it.” Drake looked at him questioningly and Ashton continued, “He got his beloved Executive Commander to safety and he has you under his grip. You know, it turns out all he really wants is to get Soul away from this place.”

“Then what does he want me for?” Drake grumbled. He followed Ashton freely now, moving towards the large door and venturing down the narrow spiral stairs immediately afterwards. The lanterns were spread out unevenly along the staircase making it difficult to move quickly, but Ashton moved with comfortable ease.

“He wants you,” Ashton responded matter-of-factly. “To open up a portal out of this land and to take him and Soul away.”

“Oh,” was all Drake could respond. But all he could think was, all of this for such a simple goal?

“This way,” Ashton said after exiting the staircase. A long hall opened up before them, rows of windows opened up to their left again and many open archways appeared on their right. Ashton led them with practiced ease and Drake wondered how he could have remembered such a layout in such a short time.

“What happened afterwards?” Drake asked as they passed through yet another set of hallways and doors. Small lanterns lit up the entirety of the building and there were no longer any windows. They were heading deeper inside the structure.

“After you fell unconscious? Just what you’d expect I guess. You seemed to have wounded the enemy vessel, because he fled promptly after destroying the hill that housed Central’s administration. The land was a perilous landscape after the battles, I never thought that ice and fire could coexist like that before, but I guess that is what it means to be a vessel. Thanks to Gatal, we were able to gather your body and we brought you back into the city with us. You are actually technically dead. That way, Gatal could take you away secretly.”

“I’m dead?” Drake asked incredulously. “Who knows the truth?”

Ashton paused at a large door and looked at Drake with pity, and turned away. “I’m sorry Drake, the others think you are dead. They saw the vessel kill you and to bring you back now wouldn’t do. Gatal wouldn’t allow it. Only four of us know the truth. Well five, including you.” He looked back at Drake, “I’m sorry, Drake.”

“No, no. It's okay,” Drake said, feeling a crushing sensation inside. He tried to brush it off. “It will be better this way, anyway. At least they are okay…”

Ashton nodded and added, “You are probably right. The four who know the truth though, are Gatal and I of course. There is also that lieutenant from the Frontline, remember? He stayed with us. Lastly,” he leaned into the door opening it. Inside was another room clearly meant for administrative purposes. Large glass windows meant that they had traveled to the other side of the building they were on. Inside were two figures, Gatal and another hidden in the corner, away from the lanterns. Gatal was talking and gesturing animatedly, while the other only listened calmly. Neither noticed their entrance, and Ashton finished saying “General-Commander Soul, also knows now.”

Soul broke into Gatal’s rant. “We will talk about this later, Gatal,” He said. “I am still in recovery watch, you know.” Gatal practically snarled in frustration, but Soul interrupted him again. “Later,” Soul said sternly and Gatal quieted down, but still smoldering behind his dark hood. Soul turned and gazed out the window, his mind apparently on other matters. This window too, held a breathtaking view of the city with thousands of twinkling lights below. From here, the temple could be seen clearly, and it reminded Drake strongly of the light of the full moon at night. Its light golden rays played out over the Commander, displaying the hard look of a man with deep worries.

Ashton waited patiently to be noticed, but when neither occupant moved, he knocked on the side wall lightly, saying “Gatal? We have arrived.”

Both Gatal and Soul turned and looked at Drake. He felt uncomfortable under their stares, like a piece of meat at a butcher’s shop. Nobody spoke and Drake let the silence hang in the air. He had no desire to hear what these people had to say to him.

Soul spoke first. “So, you are the vessel that Gatal hid from us…” He got up and walked over to Drake by the doorway, “Lord Vessel, I must thank you for your effort on the frontline as a soldier. Your work had saved us from the enemy and this city owes you its gratitude.”

“Fat lot of good, that was,” Drake said bluntly. “Most of Central was either already killed or already evacuated. Besides, I did not do it for the city. I did it to save my men’s lives.”

Soul lifted and eyebrow and added, “Do not degrade your actions; you saved Gatal’s life at least. You have my personal thanks for that; he is very valuable to me.” Gatal snorted behind him indignantly, but Soul ignored it. “And you also deflected whatever damage the enemy vessel would have caused if he had continued his rampage.”

Drake shifted uncomfortably and didn’t respond. Soul continued, “I must ask you now, and please forgive my impertinence, but what are your objectives? What do you plan on doing, now that you are back inside the city?”

Gatal broke in before Drake could answer, “Drake has agreed to work with me, Soul, in exchange for saving his friends lives. I have already-.”

Soul cut him off again, “I know what your agreement was Gatal. But in the end, the Lord Vessel did most of the saving. I can’t believe his level of obligation to you is as high as you estimate it at.” Soul turned back to Drake, his eyes open and expecting.

Drake felt a root of anger rooting up inside him and he asked harshly, “What are you getting at, commander? When have my opinions in the matter ever been bothered with? You understand I was conscripted into Kami’s army, right? That I had been forced into training and then onto the frontlines to fight for my survival? I have no love for this city or its people. Gatal had used my feelings towards my comrades to get me to follow him, but his goals have never been clear to me. What do you want from me, Soul? Do you, too, want to use me for your own purposes? I’ll tell you what I want, it’s the same goal I had since I was chained into your holding wagon in the wilderness in another age.” He brought his hand down and jabbed his finger at Soul. “I want to escape from this place.”

“I see,” Soul said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, not responding to Drake’s provocations. Gatal stood silently in the corner, his eyes glowing like a cat’s in the dark. Ashton stood calmly at the side, listening to the conversation. Soul looked back at Drake. “I understand what you are saying,” Soul said amicably. “It would be unfair and unwise to think you would want anything else. The facts are just as you say: Gatal was perhaps a bit too ambitious with his plans. And as it turns out, what you want and what I want from you are entirely compatible!”

Drake turned his head skeptically looking down at Soul. He asked suspiciously, “What are you saying?”

“Lord Vessel,” Soul said folding his hands politely in front of him. “We should have never brought you here in the first place. That an unknown vessel would make its way inside the city is unthinkable and even now I find it nearly impossible to believe that such a thing occurred. But here you are, standing right in front of me in my own residence! I must ask myself, “For what purpose is the vessel here? Are not Vessel’s the extensions of gods themselves?” You are not just a random person who come into the city, you are the arm of a god! Lord Vessel, I must ask you again, what is your god planning that he would send his Vessel into Kami-sama’s territory and hide among his troops? What are you planning on doing now that you are back in the city? For, sure as Kami is truth, you are a direct threat to the security of this city!”

Drake felt overwhelmed, unable to come up with an answer. Soul looked at him now with such intensity, Drake felt like a criminal on trial. He sputtered out, “I didn’t ask to be a vessel, I didn’t ask to come to your city, and I sure as hell don’t want to be here!”

“Then it seems clear to me,” Soul said calmly, watching Drake’s flustered face. “For both of our interests, we need you to leave this city and never return.”