“Yes, it is true,” General-Commander Soul told Vorash the day after the battle. “Please inform your order that we will be returning to The Endless City in six days. They will have that amount of time to rest and prepare themselves for the return. As I am sure you are aware, we will need them in top shape to create the portal.”
The exhaustion Vorash and his priests felt from transporting and healing the prisoners was terrible, but it had not made Vorash more agreeable by any means. He lashed out in frustration, “The Highland Order is not something you can simply order around on your whims; we are not part of your military!”
“On the contrary Vorash,” Soul responded calmly. He, Vorash, and Gatal were together in the command tent, a temporary structure for use until the Caravan could get moving again. “You and your priestly order had been placed with the caravan under my authority, and I will use the priests as I see fit. We will be returning to The Endless City in six days, and we will need the efforts of your spell casters to create the portal. Please, let your men rest for the next four days so that they can regain their strength from their exhaustion.”
“An exhaustion you forced upon them,” Vorash accused.
The general-commander merely nodded, “Quite so. What they did was a necessary action. But the portal is also necessary.”
Vorash made some unique sounds, probably illustrations of his anger and frustration; it was difficult to tell when his face was completely hidden by his cloak. He had been angry before, but after the humiliation he and his spell casters were forced into last night, nothing was going to make him happy. “This is an eight-month excursion,” he said at last, his voice laced with disgust, “and we are only six months into it. You cannot decide on your own to leave months early. It would be disobeying orders, direct orders from the Council.”
“I am well aware of my orders, Vorash. To begin with, though, this excursion was supposed to only last four months,” General-Commander Soul explained. “These people were not equipped for a longer mission. When we got orders for an extra four months, I told the council that it wasn’t a good idea. I told them that if problems arose we would be returning early.”
“To which they said specifically not to do.” Vorash replied, pointing his finger in the general-commander’s face.
Soul brushed the finger aside without comment, “It is true, but I must think about the welfare of the caravan before those orders.” Soul got up from his seat and opened the tent door so the three people could get a clear view outside. The whole Caravan was spread before them. Soldiers were working hard, and animals were makings their noises, but the caravan was not moving. “Last night had severely diminished our Caravan’s ability to do its mission. Morale had been falling significantly throughout the last month, decreasing their efficiency. Last night was a finishing blow; the three different factors reduced our ability to complete the mission to zero.”
“Your men are just tired and lazy, General-Commander,” Vorash sneered, looking out at all the men around the wagons. “If you let me, I will get them motivated to do the job.”
Soul looked down at Vorash, “Your offer is appreciated, but I do not think it will be as helpful as you imagine,” he said. Vorash merely grunted. Soul continued, “And also, you were part of the problem yourself. The wind and the rain created terrible conditions for everybody, eventually trapping the caravan in the muck and mud, but the Confinement spell would have held most of the wagons in safety. After you broke the support, many of the wagons broke as well. It took hundreds of man hours to repair the damaged holding wagons alone.”
“That is irrelevant,” Vorash stated, turning back into the tent. Soul let the door flap down and returned to his seat as well, “You and this Caravan have a duty to follow the will of Kami, which flows through the word of the Council. Did you not lecture me on the delegation of authority only last night? You must bow to their wishes. There is another month left for this Caravan. To leave now would be traitorous.”
“Vorash, let me make this clear.” Soul replied sternly, “My men are sick and weary. Their morale as at an all-time low. We will not be able to get the caravan moving again, much less carry out the extra months of duty here, without a major morale boost. These men cannot operate in the wilderness for such long periods of time. It is simply to foreign to them. Sickness and disease are major problems, especially after the wind, rain, and battle last night. I told the council this already and of the possibility of us returning home. Without the hope of The Endless City on these men’s mind, I fear we would not even move the caravan again. Now, let your men rest as much as they can. They only need to handle the confinement spell for now; we will go without the other ones until we reach the portal.”
Vorash seethed inside his cloak, but ultimately he had to bow before the orders of the General-Commander. “I have tried to make you see reason General-Commander,” he said. “Do not blame me for the consequences. The council will not take this as well as you might think. Do not think your favor from the past will save you every time you act against their wishes.”
“You had better hope I will fare well with the council this time,” Soul said with a threatening tone. “I am not the only one who is in trouble with them right now.” Vorash stiffened but didn’t say a word. He bowed to Gatal and then left the tent.
“I’m surprised you had kept silent, Gatal,” Soul said as soon as Vorash’s figure disappeared. “You usually enjoy a good fight with Vorash.”
“Sir,” Gatal responded, pretending to sound hurt. “I have never enjoyed violence.” Soul snorted at him. “And besides,” he continued, “you seemed to have everything under control.”
“Hmph, barely,” Soul replied. “Even for a man in my position it is difficult to get the cooperation of the Highland Order. There is something broken within the system, Gatal. As the war continues Kami relies more and more upon the strength of mortal men. You would think the aristocracy would understand and work with that.”
“Actually, sir,” Gatal replied, “I believe that it is just because of that fact that tensions keep getting worse between the highlanders and the humans. The highlanders think little of humans and they hate relying upon them, perhaps even more than they hate the enemy. Before they could simply ignore the humans; now they are forced to work with them.
Soul shook his head, “I fear you are right ,Gatal. As always you provide a clear insight into the working of the world. Tell me then, how is the progress with the caravan?”
“I believe that the caravan will be dug out and we will be able to attempt to move it within the hour.”
“Good,” Soul replied, “And has news of our departure been spread throughout the camp?”
“Yes sir, even down to the last ponyboy. It wasn’t that difficult, really. The news spread incredibly fast. If the prisoners could understand our language, then all of them too would be aware of our departure. Although I doubt they would be as happy as the rest of us.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Soul said, “The Endless City for them means great things as well. They get to leave their old wilderness habits behind and start a new life secure in the Will and grace of Kami. They would probably be rejoicing as well.”
Gatal didn’t respond. Whenever Gatal remained quiet, Soul could not figure out what he thinking. As much as Gatal did for him, there were still parts of him that remained a mystery. Gatal said instead, “What of the council, General-Commander? How Vorash said it may have been inappropriate, but what he said for the most part was true. The extra four months was a direct order from them and they did reject your appeal. To leave now would bring great trouble for you. How will you deal with it?”
“As I have always dealt with the council, Gatal, with cleverness and subtly. I did not get to General-Commander without learning how to deal with power.”
“Still, I am worried for you.” Gatal continued, “I believe you are making the right decision, but I do not believe that it will go as well for you this time. Every time you appear in front of them, your victory at the battle of Crushed Snake is further behind in history. Eventually, their disgust for humans will override whatever sense of honor they owe to you, and soon.”
“Thank you for your concern, Gatal, but I think it will be groundless. Please, brighten up. We will be returning home soon, despite whatever words of doom you priests spout. The whole camp is in high spirits now. You should be too.”
“You forget, Sir,” Gatal replied as they walked out of the tent together, “I am not a native to The Endless City. I am perfectly all right in foreign territories, even this godless wilderness.”
*************************************************************************************
It was two days after the battle and the caravan was moving again. In the end, the wagons were repaired, the sick men were being tended to, and the caravan was on its way again, but Lieutenant Fallow was not a happy lieutenant. Moving the caravan required an enormous amount of effort on the part of everybody. For the mounted legions like the 697th, it meant harnessing their horses and working themselves, something that greatly displeased the legions.
Sure, the caravan was heading home soon, but they were traveling through the tall itchy grass. Walking through It bothered the horses and the lieutenant and his mounted battalion had to endure the discomfort. But perhaps the most aggravating aspect of these last few days before the portal was the absence of the priests’ magic. If the soldiers resented the priests before, they repented deeply before the first day was over. The only magic the priests performed during this time was the confinement spell; everything else had to handled manually. Many simple things like access to food and water suddenly became a chore for the soldiers and they realized how much they took for granted. Even back in The Endless City, such conveniences were readily available. But for most of the soldiers, all these issues simply increased their desire and motivation to get home.
Lieutenant Fallow was not one of those soldiers; a bonus of torment was added onto him to increase his misery level above that of his motivation level. General-Commander Soul had given him a special commendation for his hard work during the prisoner fiasco, and while Soul had intended to reward him and his men, for Fallow, it was a terrible punishment. The 697th mounted battalion was given orders to stay and guard the section of the caravan holding the prisoners. Now Fallow was forced to ride with the creepy prisoners, without even the relief of scouting rides. His men seemed not to share his dread of them, and he wasn’t going to reject the gift to his men due to his own discomfort, but these last few days were going to be rough on him.
“Lieutenant Fallow,” one of his men called out to him during the fourth day. “What are you looking forward to the most when we get back to the city?” It was a popular question around the camp. Fallow had given it a lot of thought lately, but he wasn’t going to tell them that it was simply to get away from the prisoners.
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“I think I am looking forward to re-joining the men on the walls. I always enjoyed the position on the wall.”
“But you’re part of the mounted legion,” the men laughed and protested, “You don’t have to have a position on the wall.”
“But I like it there.” Fallow said with smile, “I like the security and safety of being on the wall. Feeling its strength with every step and every block. And being on top of it, there is no such experience. Up there the wind is always strong and fresh, and the view is always fair. Did you know that on clear days you can see all the way to the old ruins on the river? It is so beautiful.”
“But those ruins are held by the enemy,” his marshal responded. “It hasn’t been in Kami’s control for over a hundred years. It’s like it is not even part of the territory anymore.”
“It was once, though. But still, it is a beautiful sight. To think that someday soon, when we win the war, we will have all that land again. I would love to explore the ruins there.”
“You didn’t answer our question, though,” they responded, “There is going to be a week of rest between postings. Aren’t you looking forward to being with your wife?”
Fallow responded easily, “I do not have a wife or even a family, really. I have my home and the unit I have been posted with, but I will see them no matter where I am posted in the city.”
“You are not married?” his corporal asked, astonished “Didn’t you pass the requirements a long time ago? You should be certified for marriage now.”
“It is true,” Fallow said, “But I didn’t find a woman for me. I haven’t given up though, I believe that the right woman will appear someday.”
The corporal shook his head in disbelief, “Lieutenant, if you wait too long, all the good women will get taken and you will be left with only the old grannies. What would you do then?”
“Then I will have to live out my life in loneliness and pain, right?”
The men laughed, but then he explained seriously, “I don’t think that taking a wife is the only action of meaning in a life. I am serving Kami-sama in whatever I do; I find plenty of joy in that.”
“But what will you do with your extra week sir? You haven’t answered that question yet.”
Fallow thought about it for a moment, “Probably spend it in the library. I don’t get many chances to visit there.”
“The library!” His Marshal exclaimed, “What would you want to do there? It only full of old people and old books. Of what use is that?”
“I did not know we even had a library!” the Sub-Corporal added.
“And that is why,” Fallow said pointing at the sub-corporal, “You are a sub-corporal and I am a lieutenant. There is a lot of good information there; I would suggest a visit for all of you. You can learn a lot in the Library, especially about the history. The old monks keep it treasured, and it really is fascinating stuff. I enjoy reading and listening to the works of history of The Endless City. There are none who are alive who remember those times any more, except for Kami-sama of course.”
His men thought the idea was strange and unnatural, and they dismissed his suggestion quickly. As they further discussed the appropriate way to spend free time, Fallow withdrew himself from the conversation and let his thoughts drift off as well. The Endless City, the very thought of it filled him with joy. Buildings and palaces and keeps and walls, every part was secure and beautiful. And how he missed the wall! His first posting was at the wall, before he had been assigned to a mounted battalion. He would request another station there when he got back. Not many soldiers appreciated the wall as he did, the greatness and majesty it had. To Fallow, it was the wall itself that defined what the city was for him, although he had never seen it from the outside.
It was from his stay at the wall that he learned curiosity. In the training, they only ever told the soldiers what they needed to know, to survive and work properly in the city to serve Kami. They did not care about the history or the arts. But on the wall, it was different. You could see the history in front of you, the old towns and rivers could be seen from up high. In the distance, mountains stood and on clear days, one could see even further into the haze of history. When his curiosity was aroused to the point of irritation, only the library had answers for him, and even the library was a relic of the past. It was kept in place by old priests who only cared about its keeping. In all the time he spent there, he rarely saw another human.
He still clearly recalled his first time visiting the library. It was an old and beautiful building, filled with paintings and art and supported by majestic towering buttresses. The air was different there, filled with an atmosphere completely alien to him, but somehow nostalgic. Much of it was underground and filled with shelves of books. Thousands of them. Fallow had never seen the temple to Kami-sama but when he imagined it, it looked like the library. When he first stepped in, he was overwhelmed at the sights and was frozen in place. A priest saw him and said, “A young officer? I cannot remember the last time a human came willingly to this place. What brings you here, young one?”
Fallow had met many priests of the highland order while working on the wall before. He had never thought them as nice beings, and he avoided them when he could. But these priests were from a different order, the Wordlock Order. They were nice and helpful, even eager to share. Fallow was taken aback by them almost as much as he was by the glory of the place.
“I was told this was the place where the histories are kept,” Fallow had replied uncertainly.
“You heard correctly, but what do you want with the history? I doubt your superior asked you about them.” Unlike the highland order, the priests did not wear cloaks that covered their faces. He peered at Fallow his with gold curious eyes.
“Actually, it was I who asked him about it. He didn’t know anything, though, and suggested I come here.” Fallow felt uncomfortable before the priest.
“Hmmm, so there is some life within the military it seems. I wouldn’t have guessed. The only reason humans usually come here is to learn something of war tactics or to find a private place to speak. Tell me first, though, do you even know how to read?”
“No,” Fallow admitted.
“Then how did you expect to learn anything here? Do you expect me to use up my valuable time and just tell you everything?”
Deeply ashamed, Fallow fidgeted and didn’t say anything. That was exactly what he had expected exactly.
“If you want to learn anything here, you must be able to read. All the information is in books, you know.” Fallow suddenly felt foolish for even coming to this place. He was an outsider, he was stupid to even consider being in the library. He should just leave quickly and repent for intruding upon this sacred place. But the priest continued, “Come again tomorrow on the 6th hour. Can you do that?”
“Yes…?” Fallow said, confused.
“Good, we will start by teaching you how to read and then you can learn all you want from this place with no restrictions. It will be good to teach someone again. I haven’t had the pleasure to do so in a very long time.”
“I don’t think I can learn that,” Fallow stammered.
“Nonsense,” The priest said easily. “Everybody can learn. I’m not going to let a young scholar like you get away from me. Not just anybody has the gift of curiosity these days, and I can’t let it go to waste.”
The next day Fallow started his reading lessons. The priest’s name was Havign and he was gentle, instructive, smart, and witty. He soon became more than Fallow’s reading instructor, but also a mentor and then a friend. Reading did not come easy to Fallow, and he almost gave up many times in frustration. Every time, though, Havign would encourage and calm him. He would say, “Fallow, things of worth will never be obtained easily. Even I did not learn to read without much effort. But it is because it is so difficult to get that we know it is worth it. You will understand that someday. Come now, let us try again. You are learning well, even if you are not feeling it.”
Between his posting and his housing Fallow did not get much time to visit the library. But when he did, Havign was always patient and thoughtful. He taught him much more than just to read. He also challenged Fallow in many ways. Havign was the first and only person Fallow had told that he was not native to the Endless city, and Havign accepted it without issue.
“It doesn’t matter where you are from Lieutenant,” he had said. “It only matters what you are doing now and what you are planning to do in the future. “
Recently, Havign started teaching Fallow how to write as well. “It’s not just about putting words together on a piece of paper,” he had explained to him. “It’s about putting into words your thoughts and ideas, being able to structure an expression correctly so that it makes sense. In some ways, writing is more difficult than reading, but I have the utmost confidence in you, Lieutenant.” He said with a wink of his golden eyes, “Be sure to practice what you have learned when you are away.”
Fallow did practice, often during the first few months. But as the time in the caravan wore on, he lost the drive to continue. He hadn’t written in over three weeks. Havign would surely chastise him for it. Seeing the priest again was Fallow’s greatest motivation for returning to the library.
But that return would have to wait a few more days. Right now, he had to deal with his own demons, the prisoners he trotted next to. The more time he spent with them, the worse he felt. Strange thoughts and ideas came to him when he was in their midst, questions without answers and feelings of loss. Sometimes a great inexplicable rage would come over him when he was around them, but he always managed to control himself. Kami-sama, something was wrong with him and he felt it. He couldn’t wait to get back; he did not like these feelings of emptiness and pain. He wanted to get back into the warmth and security of The Endless City. He would discuss his feelings with Havign, somebody Fallow could always talk to.
The lanterns were lit again after the darkness they brought. It was feeding time for the prisoners and they were making a horrible racket like they always did. Some of the soldiers enjoyed the feeding time and laughing at the prisoners. Fallow did not; he hoped the noise would die down soon. Kami, the horrible sounds they make, he wished they would stop! It was going to be a long three days until the portal for Lieutenant Fallow.
That night, Fallow had a curious urge to write. He had always viewed writing as a chore before, but this night he felt something different toward it. So startled was he by this feeling. that he contemplated his own desire before he actually did it. He wanted to write down his thoughts, to somehow get them out of him. He felt that if his confusion was somehow expressed, it would resolve itself. Anyway, he felt if he didn’t do anything, he would burst. He sat down in his crowded wagon that served as his quarters and reached for his luggage. He pulled out the parchment and ink the priest had given him and recalled again his words, “Be careful with these,” Havign had told him. “They are precious tools. Not in just the material sense either, although they are very valuable in and of themselves. But the ability to write is a powerful tool that must be mastered if it is to be used properly. It has the incredible power that rivals that of the gods’. Just like the Kami creates with his words, so also can you create with your words.”
Fallow didn’t understand what he meant, and as he gazed upon the parchment in front of him, he didn’t know how to start. After a moment, he simply wrote what was on his mind.
I hope to see you soon Havign. The more time I spend here the worse I feel. This is especially true these last few days. My battalion has been put in charge of escorting and guarding the prisoners in their wagons. I do not like looking at them. I do not like being around them. My men don’t care though. What is so different about me? Do you remember when I told you that I wasn’t native to The Endless City? That means that I have gone through the same experiences these prisoners have. I remember it clearly these days. But that was when I was different person. That man had different values and different hopes. I do not understand him. He was a confused and unguided man but I am neither any more. It had been a long time since I thought about my past. What is it about this place that brings it back to me? I do not like it and I wish I could forget it entirely I wish I could cut it off like an infected limb. But I cannot and it feels lately that its sickness is spreading. I said before that I wasn’t confused, but I am now. Strange feelings well up inside of me. I am moody and angry lately. I wish I was back in The Endless City now. I am sure that there in the security of the city I would feel at ease again. It is just the wilderness puts me outside of myself. Home is only a few days away! I am afraid I have not practiced as much as you would have wanted. You will chastise me when I get back, but I hope you can understand. The wilderness is not a place for intelligence. You will probably never come out here, but as the name implies it is wild and dangerous. I will give you a full report when I get back. Maybe you will write a book on it? Until then, Havign. May Kami fill you with peace and light.
Lieutenant Fallow
Fallow put down his pen and studied his work. It was crude and somewhat illiterate. It would take more work, undoubtedly, to reach the skill level of the priests, but he was proud he could have written so much. He let it dry while he put the tools away. The wagon was not made to support such efforts, and he was sore and exhausted. When the ink finished drying, he also put the parchment away, but with great care. He had been getting strange dreams lately and although he had difficulty remembering their contents exactly, they gave him sleeplessness and fear. As he prepared for his slumber, he hoped he would be able to sleep in peace. But yet again, strange figures and settings appeared in his dreams and he felt something he cared for get torn away. When he woke up again, he wished he was already back inside The Endless City. He never had fearful dreams there.