Cleo transferred to Westpoint Catholic for a lot of reasons. The one she was most proud of was that she transferred so that she could radicalize her fellow students and provide someone to talk to for people like her. They were also good for colleges, and Cleo was aiming for a nice liberal arts college that she could really express herself in. The one she was least proud of was named Lisa.
Lisa was her crush from middle school. Lisa was beautiful, and funny, and sometimes a little petty or vindictive, but she was still Lisa. Lisa and Cleo were an odd pair of friends, Lisa being one of the more popular girls at Hilldoe Middle School and Cleo being more of a pariah, but they made it work. Lisa would confide in Cleo, tell Cleo how much she hated her other friends, and Cleo never stopped to consider that Lisa was doing the same to Elizabeth and Millie and Joanne. Cleo would tell Lisa things she woudln’t tell others, too, like that she hated being seen as lesser than the other girls because her clothes weren’t girly, or that being latina in a school in a rich neighborhood was fucking hard. Cleo had heard the joke that doesn’t your mother clean my toilet? far too many fucking times. And Lisa was there when Cleo punched Jake over the same joke, so they were friends.
Well, Cleo thought they were friends. But when Cleo told Lisa that she might be a Lesbian near the end of the year, nearly crying in front of her, Lisa got this weird look on her face for just a moment. Lisa rubbed her back and said soothing words, but the next day everyone at Hilldoe was looking at Cleo like she was a freak. And Cleo knew.
When she confronted Lisa, it was ugly. She was screaming, Lisa was laughing, and everyone was watching. The principal intervened and told Cleo that maybe she should take a step back and reconsider her choices. Cleo had never wanted to hit a “trusted adult” more in her life. Lisa went on with her life as though nothing had ever happened, like she never even realized that Cleo existed and she wasn’t going to start now.
When Cleo got home, she was shaking. The principal had called her parents, and while she knew her parents were cool with the punk clothes and the far left politics, there was no guarantee that they would accept for even a moment their daughter being gay. She was already thinking of places she could couch surf after her parents kicked her out when her mother took one look at her and burst into tears. Cleo turned around to leave when her father asked her where she thought she was going. Oh god. She turned back round on stiff legs, barely able to keep from running, and her father’s eyes softened.
“I’ve never known you to run away from something,” he said, and then they sat her down.
Cleo really thought she was facing some kind of execution, and she prepared to defend herself like Joan of Arc before the court. But her parents were apparently overjoyed and proud of her for being herself. Her mother said that she had always suspected it, and her father said that he was always sure. They loved her. And that night they called Lucy’s father and, initially, explained exactly what his daughter had done at school, and when the asshole didn’t give a rat’s ass, tore him a new one. Insults ranged from the fact that he left dog shit on his yard and everyone knew it to that he was the stingiest member of the PTA they had ever had the displeasure of knowing, and that whenever he attempted to cook for the neighborhood parties or barbeques its a miracle no one walked away with food poisoning. Cleo had never been happier about being wrong in her life.
So when she told her parents she couldn’t face Lisa in high school and that she’d rather go to Westpoint, there were mixed reactions. Her parents totally understood wanting to change schools or school districts, but a private Catholic school? Didn’t that go against everything she believed in? And then Natalie told them her master plan for converting students to the radical punk lifestyle.
Westpoint was nice enough. The teachers all had some kind of vendetta against her with the exception of Mr. Hayashi, the majority of students there looked at her like she was the antichrist, and she had to find completely new friends, but on the bright side her friends here seemed a lot more eager to rebel against rules and convention and were somehow even more numerous than at Hilldoe. When Cleo got a new haircut, something hideously choppy that she may or may not have done with her parents’ kitchen scissors, some of them were so taken with it that they copied her. When she got comfortable enough to do her big showy eyeliner, they started to do their own makeup however they wanted to. She seemed to be kind of an inspiration to them. It was almost… lonely.
She wanted to be more than just a figure of rebellion to them, but they simply went to her for all their problems and to try new things with her, ranging from getting Angela’s ears pierced to Luke trying to smoke a cigarette with her. Explaining what a straight edge punk was to him after that got a little awkward. But it wasn’t all bad! They were really nice people, all of them, and they were all trying to be better people. She respected that. She wanted to be their friend, she really did, but it just felt like… she wasn’t really a person to them.
That changed when Rosaline joined her little posse. Rosaline was a very strong girl, incredibly buff for a catholic school student, and said that she got in on a merit scholarship her parents couldn’t turn down last year. Rosaline called out when the others weren’t treating Cleo like a person, called out when the more standard students were staring too hard for too long, and generally just… stood up for people. The crush developed pretty quickly, but this time when Cleo told her, Rosaline made a confession of her own. Rosaline said she wasn’t gay or straight or bi or anything else, but that she just didn’t get crushes on people. And honestly, Cleo didn’t mind that one bit. She was just happy Rosaline didn’t tell anyone else. They made a pact to each other that day to keep each other’s secrets, and ever since then they were best friends.
Cleo moved past that crush pretty quickly, only to find another at one of Rosaline’s volleyball games. Natalie Marie Laurelson. Natalie was a cheerleader for that game, not the captain by nay means but still an outstanding freshman who made a lot of the others look like amateurs. She was often the one being lifted by the other cheerleaders because she was so thin, and the pigtails she made with her blond box braids were so pretty… and when Cleo had already begun to be attracted to the confident and gorgeous Natalie, it was time to sing the national anthem for the ““halftime show””. Cleo always hated this part, seeing as America was an imperialistic piece of shit calling itself a country, but when Natalie stepped forward to sing, she was enamored. Natalie was a fantastic singer, and her voice was almost divine. Cleo would’ve converted on the spot if she wasn’t such a militant atheist. As much as Cleo tried to pay attention to Rosaline’s game, Natalie became her focus.
Cleo told Rosaline immediately after the game, and Rosaline gave her a strange look. When Cleo asked, Rosaline warned her that Natalie was the most popular girl in Cleo’s class, that Natalie was one of the richest, most ruthless girls in her grade and had a habit of getting disproportionately jealous or angry, was quick to cut people off. Cleo raised her chin and said that she didn’t care, that Natalie couldn’t be that much of an ass, but internally? She was worried that Natalie would be just like Lisa.
Still, she had her crush, and it only got more intense every time she saw the girl. Natalie was hilarious, always cracking jokes with her friends that were undeniably clever, always ready with a witty comeback. She was also wicked smart, handing in tests first or second (depending on if that Thomas kid was in the room) and getting straight A’s whenever Cleo happened to glance at her papers. Eventually Cleo worked up the courage to ask Natalie to help her study after Cleo nearly failed a test, and Natalie gave her a surprised look before agreeing.
It went great. Sure, Cleo talked too much and maybe showed off like three of her collages, all of which had partially nude Greek lady statues on them, but if Natalie was bothered by it she didn’t show it. Natalie cracked jokes, listened to Cleo ramble, and best of all actually helped Cleo make sense of her English and Math work.
And then Joshua moved into her school. The kid had an extremely bad aura, and Cleo knows she’s not supposed to judge people she knows nothing about and that she’s supposed to give everyone a chance, but jesus fucking christ the dude gave her the willies. The next time Natalie and herself had a study date, she tried to joke about his freak vibes. It didn’t go well.
Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.
Natalie stopped talking to her after that. Natalie didn’t tell anyone about Cleo’s awkward demeanor or artwork, but Cleo was worried sick every day for a month that she would. But more than that, Cleo was worried that Natalie would never speak to her again. Cleo had to remedy this.
She started by working harder in school. Cleo was smart, she knew she was smart, but if she could just get Natalie to notice that too… And she made art. She got top grades in her art classes because of her dedication and creativity, and the halls were soon displaying her work. But Natalie never really looked back. So Cleo got bolder.
Cleo was going to run for ninth grade prom prince. Natalie was running for Prom Princess, so it was only natural that Cleo defy gender norms and go for the other title. She also didn’t want any chance of her pushing Natalie out of her rightful place on the throne. She made more collages than she ever had, all beautiful women leading people to victory and yes, maybe a few pinups, but they were pretty, alright? And that’s how she met Thomas.
Thomas was the nicest kid she had ever gotten to know. He was kind, he was intelligent, and he loved to talk once he was comfortable around you. When she first met him, she handed him a zine the same as everyone else in the school, but he seemed absolutely stunned she even looked at him, and she couldn’t help but want to help the kid out. The more time she spent with him, the more she liked him. Thomas treated her like a person, sure, a person he was amazed and impressed by, but a person nonetheless. The only problem with him was that he was also close to Joshua.
She didn’t make the same mistake that she did last time, and for once in her life she kept her opinions to herself. But that didn’t stop Cleo from having them. For now they were mostly unfounded. Sure, hearing that Joshua used to exclude Thomas from eating lunch with him pissed her off, but it was typical teenage assholery rather than something deeply underlying. And maybe it really just wasn’t her fucking business.
Her first sighting of what lies underneath Joshua’s milk-toast demeanor was when she encountered him shopping with Thomas. For some reason they were getting groceries for what looked like a meal, and it seemed like Joshua was paying. She had never known Joshua to actually do an act of kindness, and he most certainly didn’t seem like the pay it forward type. But she dismissed her perception of an oddity as nothing more - it was just an assumption, and a wrong one at that. She walked over to Thomas and wrapped him in an excited hug, genuinely happy to see the little guy, when she felt the pinpricks of eyes on her. She looked up to see what was possibly the most terrifyingly blank expression ever made by a human as Joshua stared at her. He was looking at her like… like he wanted to burn her alive. She told him to get a haircut. And just like that, he seemed to snap out of it, replacing the blank void behind his eyes with a certain disgust and disdain. He told her that she should brush her hair.
Like she hadn't heard that one before. It quickly devolved into a series of passive aggressive or outright aggressive insults, and Thomas had to get them to knock it off by nearly yelling at them in the store. Whatever, it's not like it really confirmed her suspicions so much as it confirmed her biases. He didn’t really do anything other than be vaguely frightening to make eye contact with. She had more important things to focus on, such as her candidacy for Prom Prince!
Which she lost. When her friends tore the announcement off one of the hallway cork boards and brought it over to her, she was excited. She already thought there was no way in hell that she’d win, so she wasn’t worried about that, and her friends were gushing about how they were so amazed she was still on the list. Unfortunately, she landed dead last in the “Prom Princess” category, since the only people who voted for her were her friends. The write-ins were definitely under the “prince” category, but that didn’t stop the school administration from making the final decision on whether or not Cleo was allowed to appear on the neighboring list. But more importantly than any of that, Natalie was the winner of Prom Princess. Holy shit! Natalie was pretty much the most popular girl in the entire ninth grade, sure, but the fact that she actually did it… it was astonishing. Cleo felt almost… proud of her?
Speaking of the neighboring list, Joshua had taken over Jonathan’s campaign to replace him as candidate after Cleo and Rosaline’s hard work. Turns out getting Jonathan removed as a candidate only led to an opening for Joshua, who could have guessed? It was obnoxious. And as her eyes scanned over to the other side of the page, she saw him at the top of the list. He was the prom prince.
Fuck. Now the two were going to have the official royal dance or whatever. At least the school here was so strict that they really did enforce the “make room for Jesus” rule. But Cleo thought, and she kept this thought shoved down deep inside of her where all of her worst thoughts went, that she really should be having that dance instead. It’s not like Natalie would actually want to dance with her, or that Natalie would even want to hold hands, but the fact that the creepiest kid in the school won instead of Cleo? It was… it felt wrong to her. She knew it was just jealousy, but she couldn’t help but feel like she had lost something.
She got over it, though. Kind of. It took a lot of effort and scolding herself in her mirror, but she did. Natalie would probably be happy to spend time with the guy she liked so much. Besides, she had other things to focus on, like her friends. Even when Natalie and Joshua’s relationship veered sharply into romantic territory, Natalie just took a deep breath and tried to ignore it. Her friends were more important than a girl who would never give her the time of day.
The Freshman-Sophomore Prom came, and Natalie spent most of the night with her friends, including Thomas. They had a great time, eating charcuterie and drinking punch until someone spiked the latter. Around that time Cleo decided it was a good idea to head home, and she made sure everyone called their parents or got into their cars just fine. The only people left from her posse after a point were Thomas, Rosaline, and herself.
Both Rosaline and Cleo were yapping about their plans to go to a greasy diner and get mustard on their clothes, and Cleo turned to invite Thomas. Thomas smiled shyly, clearly pleased that she had thought to ask him, but he said he was going to wait to say goodbye to Joshua. Rosaline frowned and asked him if he was prepared to stay until eleven at night, and he insisted he was fine. Cleo, being a total fucking idiot in hindsight, hesitantly agreed and asked Thomas if he had a ride. Thomas replied that his father was going to pick him up at 11:30. Rosaline and Cleo gave each other meaningful looks at that.
“Alright. Just… call us if you need anything, okay? I’ll give you some change for the phone,” said Cleo, handing Thomas her emergency coin collection. Her parents insisted that she have enough money to be able to pay her way out of any shitty situation, and coins for a payphone were part of that.
Thomas laughed. “Alright, alright. I’ll be fine, guys, it’s only an hour until the party ends. I can just continue to peruse my snacking options and hang out near the water fountain until Joshua leaves.”
Rosaline looked at Cleo when Thomas mentioned the hour-long wait, but neither of them said anything. He seemed pretty dead set on staying behind.
Rosaline and Cleo left that night in high spirits and found a Denny’s that was definitely still open, feasting on onion rings and tater tots and hot dogs and chicken strips. Their night was fantastic. Thomas’s night was not.
When they came back to school that next week, Thomas had a swollen and cut lip and a bruise on his cheekbone. Cleo immediately demanded to know who had done it, and when Thomas wouldn’t tell her so that she could demonstrate the danger of an angry girl armed with pepper spray, she threatened to just spray Joshua. As a joke. And Thomas immediately began to freak out, saying that Joshua was the one to save him.
What? Cleo asked if he could explain what he meant. He then told her that Joshua came in all fucking Clark Kent style, breaking one of the kids’ noses and dragging Thomas out of there, taking Thomas to his home and cleaning him up, and then dropping him off with few words exchanged.
So maybe Joshua was a good guy. She was going to do pretty much the same thing to whoever had attacked Thomas, so it wasn’t like his behavior was abnormal or unusual. Maybe she was wrong. Her gut didn’t decide what she did, how she lived her life - her head did. And yeah, okay, maybe her heart too, but she was a rational person. Rational people didn’t have problems with another kid just because he had a nasty aura or a terrifyingly blank stare.
When Joshua and Natalie went on their first real date, she didn’t care. She was rational about it. When Thomas and Joshua got into that fight, she didn’t confront Joshua, because she was a reasonable person who didn’t need to solve all of her friends’ problems. When Rosaline finally asked her why the hell she was going to a Catholic school, anyway, she didn’t freak out, and when the whole school started spreading a rumor that Rosaline and Cleo had kissed out back where the teachers smoked their cigarettes, she remained calm. She could be so, so normal about this. She could at least do that. She just wished that maybe her life would have been less dramatic after getting away from Lisa and her clique, but she now realized that it would never be the case for as long as she went to Westpoint. She graduated the ninth grade with better grades than she had all of middle school, more art produced than in any other school year, and absolutely no relationship with Natalie, which was probably all for the best.
She didn’t know how right she was to be cautious around Joshua. She didn’t know what he would become.