April 2, 1/4
Jonathan and I came to a decision. We only have two weeks left, so we’ve already started redesigning our pins and posters. I’m going to have to be ninth grade prom prince. What a blow. This role suits me much more, anyways. This should lead to us cornering the votes much more easily.
Natalie thought she’d pull an April Fool’s prank on me yesterday. She told me that she had forgiven Thomas. I asked her what she could possibly forgive him for, and that wiped the amused look right off her face. She told me that he’d embarrassed her by sitting with her, and I asked her on what planet that was embarrassing, deadpan. She told me to fuck off and sat at a different table. A few of her friends followed her. Thomas luckily didn’t hear any of it.
Joshua
April 3, 1/4
Natalie called me tonight. She apologized without any meaning behind it and asked if we could be friends again. I didn’t know we’d broken off that relationship, but I moved past that. Sure. We’re friends still, so that’s… nice. I think Natalie will eventually move past this strange thing with Thomas. Maybe she’ll even make an effort to be nice to him one day. I sure fucking hope so.
Jonathan got in the fixed campaign posters, and we hung them up over the old ones. Hopefully that’s enough to fix it and it’s not too late. Cleo confronted me in the hallway today, asked me what I thought I was doing. I told her we were changing candidates. She rolled her eyes and moved on. Turns out she had a new zine for our classmates. Hopefully that doesn’t completely screw us over.
Joshua
April 5, 1/4
Shockingly, Cleo’s zines did not reveal any new or horrifying information. People have started throwing her zines in the trash. I feel a bit bad about that, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ve kept the zines I’ve been given under my bed, alongside my sketchbook and… more private books. Grey’s anatomy, mostly, and a few other medical texts. I’d rather my father not find out about those. God forbid he realizes what they’re for, or worse, thinks I want to become a doctor. Last thing I need is exposure to real organs. As… exhilarating as the thought is, I don’t think it’d be very ethical.
Thomas asked if I knew anything about a party happening next weekend. Not wanting to lie to him, I told him yes. He looked genuinely shocked, then asked me if I was going. I told him yes again. He asked me what the hell I thought I was doing there. I told him that I was doing what I wanted, which happened to be very little alcohol and no drugs. He just kind of pushed my shoulder with irritation rather than teasing, and huffed. I found myself wishing he’d touch me more, not even in a sexual context. What the hell is fucking wrong with me.
Joshua
April 7, 1/4
Thomas asked me about my progress with getting Natalie not to be a complete basket case, during religious studies. Not in those words, of course - he was much nicer about it. I told him that there had been progress, but not much. He nodded, and then he told me that Natalie had confronted him. He pulled me back into my seat and told me that she had apologized. What. I told him that was wonderful, and I was glad we had made some progress. In fact, it is very suspicious and I’m almost concerned. I’ve never really been concerned.
Joshua
April 9, 1/4
Thomas is needlessly beautiful. He reminds me of some kind of angel, and I know I’ve said it before but it’s true. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I was taking him grocery shopping (his dad left him with some money and Thomas needed a ride) and watching him pick out the cut of a fucking chicken was the softest thing I’ve ever seen. It was like we were a couple, just like any other, trying to pick out what to eat for the week, not having to worry about kids stealing his fucking lunch or my dad. It was unspeakably nice. His hair is so soft, his eyes are so warm. I hate that I love him.
We ran into Cleo. She grinned and ran over to Thomas (he was a few feet away from me) and hugged him tightly. Apparently, they’ve gotten close quickly. Thomas was a touch pink and quite happy to see her. She was all smiles and quips until she saw me. I might have been staring. She called me a walking nightmare and said I needed a haircut. I told her she should consider brushing her hair. Thomas told us both to knock it off, but he glared at me as he said it. Cleo was quick to return to teasing us both, though she was on my case far more than Thomas’s. When we left the store, Thomas tried to apologize for her and explain that she liked to jokingly insult people. I said she was fine. Privately, I think that she might take it too far and actually hurt Thomas. I hope not.
Joshua
April 10, 1/4
This past week has gone well for Jonathan and my campaign. There were no further tricks from Cleo and her friends, and her pamphlets are still ending up in the trash. I’ve been keeping the new pamphlets I find and adding them to my collection. They’re… fun. They may disparage myself and Jonathan alongside other candidates, but the artistic choices are fascinating. There are a lot of scantily clad women in them, a lot of greek goddesses and nymphs. I guess she likes classical art, but there are also old pinups. It’s like a strange feminist advertising campaign, the way these women are depicted by Cleo. It’s something to marvel at.
I’ve not made much progress investigating why Natalie changed her tune with Thomas. I called her last night to ask about it, but it went nowhere. She was insistent that while she wasn’t fully sorry, she did feel a bit bad about how she treated him, citing that he is “just another student” and she didn’t need to waste her energy on him. She said if I’m going to be so insistent on being his friend, she may as well make nice with him. It made sense, but… something feels really off. Something is definitely wrong.
I’ve mostly been talking to Jonathan and Adam lately, along with Natalie being in my general orbit, but I’ve decided to start hanging out with Thomas after school. It gives him an excuse to not have to come home to that piece of shit calling itself a father, and it gives me the excuse to try a new way of getting over this stupid crush. Exposure therapy. My perception of Thomas can’t be realistic or accurate, so perhaps spending more time with him will get me to realize that he’s less than I believe he is. I hope it does.
Joshua
April 12, 1/4
I forgot something important. Prom is a week and a half from today. Technically, this shouldn’t be much of a problem - I have plenty of time to ask Natalie, and plenty of money to make asking her something special. But I’d still rather go with Thomas. There’s no way I could even go out with Thomas on a date, much less to a stupidly important event like prom, not in this lifetime. But even going as friends would be… nice. But asking him as a friend would require, well, not asking Natalie. So I’m going to ask Natalie. But if I were to ask Thomas…
I’d probably get him a bouquet. It’s a good gift, good enough for any sort of romantic gesture, depending on the price. If it was for him, it’d have forget-me-nots, tulips, and daffodils, all spring flowers. Actually, since those are all blooming soon, that wouldn’t be too hard. White and yellow tulips, multiple daffodils of course, pink and white hyacinths, and maybe some ferns to fill it out.
I think I’ll give Natalie a bouquet of pink roses. It should be appropriate. I’ll do it tomorrow.
Joshua
April 13, 1/4
Natalie kissed me.
It was just on the cheek. It was… interesting, I think. She hugged me as well, but that felt less important. It felt a lot better than when Marianne kissed me, sure, but also… worse, at the same time. I actually like Natalie, as a person. She’s smart, maybe smarter than me, and she enjoys intellectual stuff. She’s also far funnier than I am. And she kissed me. And that’s kind of what’s supposed to happen, sure, but… damn.
Jonathan’s and my race is coming to a close. It looks like our victory is secured, though I don’t want to call it too soon. Cleo’s campaign has ratcheted up a notch, however; she’s now hanging paintings. They’re all red, black, and white propagandistic posters that remind me of stuff from the soviet union, paintings of women holding up banners and arguing for the freedom of the students of Westpoint Catholic. It’s kind of intimidating. They look way better than the ones Jonathan made that kid design.
The bouquet was cheap anyways.
Joshua
April 15, 1/4
It’s the night before the votes are counted. Jonathan tried to make a joke about rigging the election (something about Nixon, too) and I told him to not even dream of it. I don’t play dirty. I’m really anxious, but I’m excited as well. I know we’re going to win for prom prince, and I know that we’re going to go up in the social ladder, but I’m worried about how Cleo and Roseline will react when they lose. Will Cleo launch a massive smear campaign? What if her friend starts to hound us at parties? At the very least, I hope she’s not upset. I don’t care as much as I should about these things, but she seems really invested. I hope she’s alright.
Natalie has started to refer to me as her “guy” with her close friends, and they all give me these weirdly secretive and amused looks. I don’t like it, but I’m not sure what to do. Being her “guy” is the right move for my image, but not for our friendship, clearly. I don’t want to be her boyfriend? Not yet, anyways. I want to see if I can like her that way, first. I don’t want a repeat of what happened with Marianne. But I’m not sure what to do in the meantime. She’s not calling me her boyfriend yet, so I’ll let things stay as they are until I can figure out a solution.
Wish me luck.
Joshua
April 17, 1/4
Jonathan and I won. Thomas congratulated me at school. He seemed really excited, actually, like I had accomplished something major. I suppose this will be good for my future career, to get some experience now, but the way I won prom prince did not feel satisfying. Thomas actually hugged me, me. Natalie also hugged me, later, when Thomas wasn’t around. Jonathan was jealous of me getting so much attention, but Adam attempted to squeeze him to death, so that’s nice.
Natalie won prom princess, as she should. She is objectively the most gorgeous girl in the entire school, and she deserves everything. We’ll be on stage together to give our little speeches. We’re also required to dance together, which should be fun.
I’ve been feeling more and more disconnected from everything lately, and I’ve been looking at Grey’s Anatomy more often. I know I’m going to have a nightmare soon, maybe tonight. I’m certainly not excited for that.
Thomas’s eyes were on his backpack a lot today, and he seemed nervous when he looked through his locker. There’s either something he’s guarding or something he’s guarding himself from. I’ll keep an eye on him.
Joshua
April 19, 1/4
I tried to invite Adam over to please my father, but Adam said he already had plans with Abraham. Abraham is the star football player for our school, and he seems to be genuinely skilled, but he’s less popular than Adam. I think it’s due to his more standoffish and sarcastic personality. Adam is unfunny and rude, but he does try to get people to like him. Abraham, on the other hand, will insult people if they get on his nerves. I haven’t interacted with him much, so I can’t judge whatsoever, but that’s my theory.
I had Thomas over instead for a sleepover, which usually is fine. But my father has started to take issue with him. He told me on Friday that Thomas “is a bit of a pansy”, which certainly is a collection of words. I told him that Thomas was a perfectly normal student. He told me to watch my tongue if I wanted to stay at the dinner table, so I did. He didn’t say much else about Thomas, though.
Thomas is over tonight, but my father has taken particular interest in him. He keeps asking him questions about school and what sports he’s in. Thomas, naturally, answered that he isn’t in any sports, but that he’s hoping to establish a chess club next year. My father seemed surprised by this for a moment, and then immediately disappointed. I don’t see why the fuck he’d think chess is unmasculine or whatever it is he wants to see, but he sees it anyways. I told my father about how Thomas is at the top of our class, something I may or may not have looked up by charming the secretary, and both were surprised, though Thomas less so. My mother changed the subject.
Thomas has taken an interest in my computer, so I showed him more DOOM, but he said he was more interested in the writing capabilities. I told him about my diary and I am currently praying that he doesn’t figure out the password to unlock it when I’m asleep. He was also curious about how I knew he was at the top of the class, saying he’d only just found out himself. I replied that it was just an educated guess, but I was happy to hear that I was right. He gave me a puzzled but not unhappy look.
This sleepover has gone a lot better than the last few. I don’t feel nearly as massive a creep as I usually do when he’s over. It’s nice to be with him.
Joshua
April 20, 1/4
After Thomas left with my mother to drive back to his house, something she oddly suggested, my father pulled me aside. He said that I ought to grow up and stop having sleepovers. I felt the urge to protest, but he’s right - I’m fifteen. I shouldn’t be having sleepovers at fifteen, and I haven’t honestly done them in quite a while. But doing them gives Thomas an excuse to get out of his shitty house, and another excuse for us to become closer. I’m not sure what to do. What if word gets out and I lose my status at school? What if that’s the reason Adam refused to hang out with me? It’s embarrassing. I should be ashamed of myself for doing something so childish for so long.
I had a nightmare last night. It was… gory. Dark figures hovering over Thomas and I as I dug into his flesh with my hands. It was visceral, and it looked so real that when I woke up I half expected Thomas to be bleeding out on the floor. It’s pathetic. I shouldn’t let these dreams get to me anymore, I should be used to them by now. Everything’s just… wrong, again.
Joshua
April 22, 1/4
Natalie has been really sweet, lately, and it’s been nice. She’s a very charming, beautiful, and funny girl, and I’m very glad to have met her. Prom’s on the 24th, and she’s going to take me shopping for a matching vest for my tux, and she also wants to have matching corsages. The color she’s picked is this soft yellow with baby pink accents, and while I’m not exactly embarrassed to be seen wearing it, I am a little concerned that I’ll come down a notch from my social standing. But it’s fine.
I’m also concerned that Natalie is going to kiss me, and that I won’t respond correctly. I’ve kissed girls before, and it’s never really had any effect on me, but this time I need it to.
I don’t want to like Thomas. Maybe we can be friends, but that’s all we can be. I don’t want to bring him any closer to me. Besides, if I’m really being honest with myself, I know he likes girls. The way he acts about Natalie or Cleo sometimes is proof enough. I don’t need Thomas. I need Natalie.
Thomas has been hiding his backpack under his desk, and he’s even asked if he could store his backpack in my locker. I said yes, and he looked… really relieved. Something is happening. Either he’s afraid of someone fucking with his stuff or someone is fucking with his stuff. I’ll figure it out for him.
Joshua
April 23, 1/4
Thomas asked me today if we were going to have a sleepover this weekend. I told him that I can’t, that I’m busy with prom. He looked a little hurt, but he hid it well. I wish I could talk to someone about this.
I asked the security guard if anyone’s reported anything stolen, but he told me to mind my business. I told him that I could inform the principal that he’s been selling cigarettes to kids in my grade, and he relented, but the answer was still no. So if someone’s stealing from Thomas, he isn’t telling anyone, and I’m not risking expulsion by asking for the tapes from the cameras. All I accomplished was making enemies with the security guard.
Natalie is extremely excited for prom, and we’ve both been invited to an afterparty at Adam’s place. I’m surprised the guy can throw so many parties. His parents must be really absent. Anyways, Natalie has been going on and on about how great I look in my newly purchased vest, and she kissed my cheek to “reward me for good behavior” after I sat through her getting her dress tailored that last tiny bit. This is going to be fine.
Joshua
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
April 24, 1/4
I went to prom. It was in the gym rather than another location, since it was only for 9th and 10th graders, not that I mind. The theme ended up being Garden of Eden. Adam did in fact tape a paper leaf to the crotch of his pants, but thankfully a teacher stepped in and told him to knock it off before it ruined anyone’s night. Probably would have fallen off anyways.
I saw Thomas there. He wasn’t wearing a suit or tux like some of us, but he was wearing this very thick cable knit that in practicality smothered him. There was a hole in his jeans at the knee, a small one, must have just split because he didn’t seem to notice it. He was gripping his cup and hanging back by the wall like I thought he would, not talking to anyone or saying anything. He was watching, though. We caught each other's eyes from across the room, and he looked like he was going to step out to talk to me, but he must have rethought it. Cleo approached him shortly thereafter. They seemed to have fun.
Being prom prince was fairly easy. I received my crown at the beginning of the night, and so did Natalie. I gave a speech about being grateful for everyone’s votes and Natalie spoke of how she always dreamed of being prom royalty. Then we had our dance together, us and the other candidates, a slow dance. Natalie kissed my cheek after it was done, holding it there for a moment. She seemed emboldened. After that I danced with her most of the night, occasionally leaving her so she could talk to her friends and I to mine. Adam and Jonathan were as awful as they always are, and kept making insinuations about Natalie, and it made me… angry. I don’t often feel angry. I left them behind and rejoined her. We drank a lot of punch until we saw some kid spike it. I saw Thomas dancing with Cleo for a long time, and her group of friends seemed to take a liking to him.
I want Thomas to have his own friends. I do. But Cleo’s friends can’t be trusted, not after how Roseline accosted Jonathan and I at that party. They would be just as quick to smear Thomas’s name as they were to smear mine. Would they tell the whole school about his father? I wouldn’t put it past them. They may be punks, but they still come from wealthy families, families that don’t go through what Thomas goes through. They’re fake. They’ll tear him to shreds if I don’t keep him safe. They certainly didn’t keep him safe.
Natalie kissed me. This time, it was not on the cheek. I imagine she was getting bored of dancing around the issue. I froze up for a horrible second, and I’m terrified people saw that. They don’t need to know about my abnormalities. They can’t. There was a moment where I didn’t know what to do, how to react. She had been giving me hints the entire night, she probably hates that I wasn’t the one to make the first move, but I just froze. I made up my mind quickly enough that she didn’t push me away. I kissed her back. I’ve done it before, it wasn’t exactly difficult. She pulled back with this glowing expression. We’re probably dating now. It’s fine.
I walked Natalie back to her car, kissed her again, waved her off, and then I heard something behind the gym. I don’t normally pursue strange noises, but I heard it a second time. It was Thomas, and it sounded like several other male classmates. It wasn’t a great sign, I knew that. I ran over to the source of the noise and saw Thomas with his arms pinned behind his back, blood dripping from his lip, blood on his sweater. Three of the people who go to my school had cornered him next to the dumpster, were calling him names, had just been hitting him. They looked over at me, shit faced from whatever the fuck they’d brought to prom and laughing.
It’s not like there were cameras. I could have done anything. I could have done anything. But instead I walked forward, pulled the one behind Thomas off of him. One of them grabbed me by the collar, and my elbow flew back, breaking his nose with a loud crunch. The blood was inconvenient. I probably will have to pay for the tux, which my father will be furious about. I’ll lie about where it came from. Anyways, they backed off pretty quickly, not wanting to fight someone who hits back and hits hard. Thomas was leaning on me the entire way to the car.
I checked Thomas’s ribs for anything broken, but it was difficult with the thick sweater in the way. I asked him if I could pull it off, and he said yes. He was wearing a tank top underneath it, thank god, but he hissed when I applied any pressure. Nothing broken, though, only bruised at worst. Thomas refused to meet my eyes. I asked him where the fuck Cleo and her friends were, and he said she went home early. Why didn’t he go home early? He was waiting for me. I love him. I love him and I hate those fucking people who touched him. I want to hit them with my fucking car slow enough to drag out their death, but fast enough to get them airborne. His nose didn’t look good, and I could tell it had been broken before. But he would notice if it healed wrong. I offered to drive him to the hospital, but he was afraid that word would get back to the school. Fuck the school. Fuck these people.
I drove him to my house. My parents were not waiting for me, already asleep. I brought Thomas to the bathroom, gave him some pain meds, and cleaned the blood off of him. There was blood on his lips, from both his nose and a cut there. I couldn’t focus whenever my eyes wandered there. It was like the frog in seventh grade all over again, but this time it was truly beautiful. But those people had hurt him, if you can even still call them people. Zacharie Stone. Marcus Pietto. Lucas Sharpe.
While I was wiping the blood off, he wanted to make small talk. He probably noticed how strange I was acting. He brought up Natalie. He said he saw our kiss, and that he was happy for me. I felt a dark disgust claw into my heart. He kept stuttering and stumbling over his words trying to celebrate me, as if I was important. I’d call it idiotic, but it’s Thomas. He’s not stupid. It wasn’t pathetic either. He’s not something to be pitied. But it hurt that I had tricked him too. He’s never going to know what I’m like, and I’m the reason why. It has to stay that way.
Something was watching us as we walked back out to the car. I assumed at first that it was my father, but it was too tall and gangly. It’s head slowly turned to follow him, swivelling like an owl. Thomas didn’t seem to notice, but I did. I felt the urge to scare it off. It wouldn’t have done anything.
I got him home, and his father was either still awake or had left the lights on. I broke the lock on his window for him. That should keep him safe for tonight at least. God knows what will happen tomorrow. I didn’t even ask him why they were attacking him. I’m a fucking idiot. I’ll call him first thing tomorrow.
When I got home, my mother came down the stairs. Said she could feel that something was wrong with me. Asked me if things were alright with Natalie. When I said yes, she then asked about Thomas. I considered lying, I really did, but it would have been pointless. Just another way I could hurt someone. I told her that some boys had cornered him behind the gym. Her face softened as she asked me who was hurt. Just Thomas and Lucas. Does she need to call the police? No, it will just complicate things. She seemed to reluctantly accept that.
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them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them 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hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I
April 25, 1/4
I saw my dad last night, in a dream of course. Told me things.
I called Thomas first thing in the morning, hoping to god that his father wouldn’t pick up the phone. Thomas answered, and his voice sounded rough. I couldn’t tell if it was from sleep or another injury I had failed to account for. I asked if his father had said or done anything. He said his father told him he deserved it. The plastic of the phone creaked under my hand. I asked if he wanted to spend the day over at my place to avoid him, but he said his sister needed him right now. I don’t know what that means. I hope she is okay.
I looked up the families of the assholes who hurt Thomas in the phone book. I can call their parents if I need to, but they may not be familiar with me, so I would have to be careful. I should probably ask my mother to handle it. She could. I’m thinking this may be related to Thomas’s hiding of his backpack, but there’s only so much I can do without going to the Westpoint building, which is closed on the weekends. Then Natalie called me.
She was super excited to talk to me, absolutely gushing about last night and how it was perfect. She even complemented me over how much of a “gentleman” I was. I listened and complemented her and told her about how beautiful and charming she is, but my mind was still on Thomas. When the conversation hit a significant lull, I gently told her about what happened to Thomas. She hummed and said that it wasn’t the first time, Thomas had been getting cornered like that since middle school.
What.
She went on to say that she wasn’t surprised it happened on Prom, and that Cleo probably just didn’t know it was a pattern considering she transferred in about a month before I did, so it’s not like she knew it was going to happen. Things like this just happen to Thomas.
We went back to talking about anything other than Thomas and I wanted to bite through the phone cord. Eventually we exchanged pleasantries and hung up. I called Thomas again. He didn’t answer.
Joshua
April 26, 1/4
Made it to school today. Thomas was there, had a black eye that I hadn’t seen before, must have either bruised fully after I cleaned him up or been given to him by his father. I didn’t get the chance to ask because Natalie found me first. She hugged me, her arms around my neck, and that alone was enough to scare Thomas off. She later wanted to sit with me at lunch, obviously, and so I did. I didn’t speak to Thomas during the school day, we didn’t even have theology together.
I didn’t believe that it was just a coincidence that Lucas, Marcus, and Zacharie attacked Thomas. Something made them want to do it. They avoided me all day, but they clearly haven’t told anyone yet. It would only bring to light what they did to Thomas. The school may not care regardless. Thomas is like the hen that the other chickens attack, tearing out his feathers because they can, and his caretakers let it happen because if they took him out of the equation another hen would take his place.
I called Thomas when I got home, and he answered. I immediately asked if he knew why they attacked him. He dithered and said it didn’t matter. I felt furious. He is the only thing that matters right now. I asked him again, anger shifting my voice. He eventually managed to say that it was related to his backpack, that they mentioned something about the security officer on campus, but he couldn’t really remember what started it.
Joshua
April 27, 1/4
Took a camera to school today. Got photos of Robert Stone (security officer) selling cigarettes to the sophomores and juniors. Downloaded them onto the file folder. Printing soon.
Joshua
April 28, 1/4
I showed Lucas the images I took of Robert. Told him that if he and anyone he associates with didn’t back off of Thomas I would show the faculty. He tried to grab it out of my hands, but I’m tall enough that it was just a simple game of keep away until I told him to knock it the fuck off. What a child. His little group kept eyes on me for the rest of the day. If they attack me, I won’t be surprised. I just won’t keep anything valuable on me, including the photos. I made it clear to him that I’m not afraid of them, but that if they hurt Thomas again, I’ll make it a problem for them. I know enough to get each of them expelled, provided the school gives a shit.
I think I’ll ask Natalie to go on a date with me tomorrow. She would probably like that. I know a restaurant that is impressive but not so ritzy as to make her uncomfortable on my behalf. I’ll pay. Hopefully she’ll eat more while we’re there, her mother hasn’t let go of the athletic physique thing.
Joshua
April 29, 1/4
Plans to ask Natalie out were interrupted. Lucas Sharpe and Zacharie Stone found me in the parking lot, said it was me or my car. Pretty obvious choice, though they had a pocket knife they seemed keen on using. Told them to leave the knife out of it and they could have their revenge. All I had to do was stand there for a few minutes while they made a big show of how strong they were. No fighting back, of course, Westpoint does have a Zero Tolerance policy. I’m still bruised obviously, but they didn’t bother my nose, so who gives a shit. I’ll heal just fine.
I went to the dean’s office, told her what happened, and she called my mother. My mother was at the school in twenty minutes, and I was surprised as she hates driving. Soon Zacharie Stone and his mother along with Lucas Sharpe and his father were at the school. Lucas’s nose was still broken, and both looked afraid. I cried innocently and retold the story with interjections from the two. Lucas tried to explain that I broke his nose, but the dean pointed out that his nose was already healing and that my blood was still fresh. I denied that I had ever touched him. I could tell my mother wanted to interject with the real reason this all happened, but I took out the photos I had been keeping of Robert Sharpe. I told the dean that I had seen Mr. Sharpe selling cigarettes while I was taking photos of the school, and that the two boys found out and weren’t happy about it. She seemed seriously concerned. I could feel the two idiots’ hatred for me, thick as a knife, as Mrs. Stone and Mr. Sharpe began yelling either at me or their son, sometimes interchangeably. My mother and I waited it out, and then I was asked to leave so that the dean could schedule a disciplinary meeting with the parents and students.
I called Natalie after my mother took me home, told her that I’d love to see her as soon as the swelling goes down. She was pissed, both at me and the other kids. Why would I let them hit me? Why was I going to these lengths for Thomas of all people? Too tired to really feel angry with her for the second question, I told her that we should just drop it. She did so reluctantly. I took a nap for a few hours, but my mother knocked on the door. Apparently Thomas had called.
I answered the phone ringing I had slept through, and Thomas began to worry over me through the phone, asking me about my pain and injuries. I told him as well that it didn’t bother me, but I didn’t tell him why I had gone to all the trouble. He’d just be angry with me. As he talked, this feeling came over me. It felt like pure affection, something I haven’t felt since I was a little kid. It was… weird. I just wanted to hold him, to be there with him, even comfort him. I changed the subject in the hopes that it would go away, asking him about his father. He said that his father keeps staring at him. He then asked me when my birthday was. Curious about the topic change, I told him December 25th. He pouted adorably about how he had missed my birthday and cracked a joke about presents on Christmas, but then told me his. May 12th. He asked if he should do anything. I failed to control myself and said he should have another sleepover with me. He seemed excited by the idea. We talked until I was too tired to continue, and then we hung up. I think I almost told him I love him.
Ideas for what to get Thomas:
Fiction book
Scarf
Sweater
Knife/Pepper Spray
Mythology book
I had dinner in my room. Better to give my injuries time to heal than reveal them to my father.
Joshua