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Chapter 66 - Despicable Me

Chapter 66 - Despicable Me

Leo had spent the night muttering to himself as he stared at rocks. An act that would draw odd gazes from any passing goblins. But, even if he appeared insane, it was worth it to learn more about the system and his abilities. Yet there were still many questions he hadn’t had time to look into.

Why was he here? He needed to find another otherworlder. That was the only real hope he had of finding somebody to explain it all to him. He had no leads, no clue how many there were, and if they were hiding their origins like him. The only thing he knew for certain was that the second calamity had encountered another otherworlder.

The only idea that Leo had was to reach Edheim. Once he was in the hub of the world, there had to be signs left behind by otherworlders. Even if it’s just a one piece reference, or someone arguing over Earth politics. There needed to be some way to find somebody.He liked his new life. He made friends, he saw new sights, and he helped people in a way he never could’ve before. But he was lonely. He had to constantly lie about his origins, and no one would ever truly understand what his life was like. His life had been miserable, but it was his life. He just wanted someone to help him feel less homesick.

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Leo headbutted the sword that swung at him, shattering it. “Yeah, they made like four of them. Also like two prequels, which I don’t think anybody wanted.”

Marem took a step back, dodging a bandit’s blade. “So it’s a series of plays called ‘Minions’?”

“No, that was one of the prequels. It’s called Despicable Me, and they just go up in numbers.” Leo grabbed the now unarmed thief, and he slammed him into the dirt.

“This is difficult to understand. Is this Gru character a summoner? Why do the minions follow him?” Marem swung her staff at the staggered bandit that attacked her. He stumbled and dropped his knife.

“Well, they follow the most evil person. He’s a supervillain, so the minions are his soldiers. They mentioned it in one of the prequels.” Leo lifted a nearby bandit by the shirt and threw the man into the forest.

“Wasn’t this a play for children?” She smashed her staff against the bandit’s knee, which caused the man to collapse.

“No, it is. He’s not that evil if you think about it. I mean, he tries to steal the moon in one of mov- plays. So I guess he’s like, kid evil?” Leo lifted the last standing bandit by his leg. He shook the man as coins and daggers fell out. Once he finished the shakedown, he tossed the man to the side.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Well attempting to steal the moon hardly constitutes being the most evil person alive. Maybe this series just isn’t for me, but I’ll watch it if we see any theaters.” She continued to beat down on the bandit. He pissed himself.

There had been a path that allegedly would cut down their travel time by two days. While it was certainly shorter, the map didn’t mention the swarms of bandits that populated the trail. The first appearance caused a stressful fight.

The stress quickly dissipated as the two of them discovered the bandits were really pathetic. They’d gone from attempting to keep a low profile to openly talking amongst themselves. Leo had attempted to try and explain some of his favorite shows, but he somehow ended up talking about Despicable Me for the past half hour.

This was the fifth or sixth bandit group that they’d encountered. The only upside of the bandits was taking the gold they had on hand. It also helped that they were keeping the path safe for future travelers. With the latest group defeated, the two continued on their way.

While Leo counted the latest haul of coins, he began to wonder. Was he a bandit now? He wouldn’t mind being a bandit bandit, but the name was a bit dumb. It was the easiest way to make some quick gold though. The downside was that half of these bandits were dead broke.

“Marem, how much longer until we get out of this shortcut?” he asked.

“Only a few more hours left, and it’s just a straight path from here,” she answered.

“I really hope these guys get the message and piss off. That last guy spit on me. Who the hell spits on someone?,” Leo ranted.

“You know, I think that I remember that guy. There may’ve been a bounty on his head, so we could go back to check.”

“Nah, these guys are annoying as is, I’d hate to carry one all the way to Edheim.”

“Fair enough.”

Leo listened to Marem as she explained some of her favorite plays. She told him an odd story about an acorn that attempted to roll down from the top of a mountain and ended up destroying the world. The weirdest tale was about some guy named Sawyer who was in a dungeon with a cat called Prince Bagel.

As she explained a story that seemed like it was just one piece, they came across a fork in the road. The map showed that it was supposed to just be a straight path from here. At the fork of the road stood two suits of armor.

Their steel armor had a clear sheen that reflected the forest around them. The leaves that rained down from the trees moved to the side, as if there was a barrier around the armor. They held onto swords that were plunged into the ground.

The suits spoke in unison as Leo and Marem approached, “Greetings, travelers! We are the keepers of the way and the guides of the wise. One of the paths ahead leads to the land that you seek. The other leads you to misfortune and agony.”

They continued to rattle their message, “Yet, there is no cause for concern. We know the path that your heart yearns for. But, you must keep your wits about you. For one of us always lies, and the other always tells the truth. You must discern which is which and move ahead.”

Marem sighed, “Godsdammit.”