Chapter Three: My Elf-Girl Waifu Discovers Drift Racing!

"Chad," Yuri said, her voice filled with awe. "What in the Nine Worlds is that?"

They were standing in the garage of Chad's childhood home. Three generations of Whittakers had lived here, and being frugal people, they'd hardly thrown anything away.

His grandfather had been an auto worker, and his father had been one too. Cars were their passion, almost to a fault - growing up Chad had sometimes felt his dad loved cars more than him, and it had been one of the reasons he'd pursued writing as a career.

All that was in the past, now. He'd grown a lot during his time in Aeternia, and he'd come to terms with his grief.

What he hadn't come to terms with, though, was what to do with the rusting pile of junk taking up most of the space in his garage.

"That is the bane of my existence," Chad said with a sigh. "It's a '74 Dodge Challenger my father and grandfather worked on, off and on, for years. They never could get it running."

The petite elf's mouth hung open as she walked around the sleek-bodied car. It was red - or at least, the few bits of bodywork that weren't covered in panelbeater's bog were red - and the vinyl on the aging hardtop was peeling away.

"I mean," he continued, "the engine is mostly OK, but getting parts for something this old is-"

"I can feel the spirits within him," Yuri continued. "This machine contains the heart of a champion, Chad. It's a tragedy so see him in this state."

"Uh, I don't know about that," he said, rubbing the back of his head. Back on Aeternia, Yuri had been one of the few Magi-Mechanics in the world, wedding together mystic tradition with scientific principles. Here on Earth, with its lower ambient mana levels, she had said that her abilities were greatly reduced.

So it was a surprise to both of them that the old car resonated with her so strongly.

"You know," Chad said, "if you felt like it, you could always work on it?"

If nothing else, he thought, it should keep her out of trouble...

Yuri's eyes sparkled and she turned to face him, wrapping him in one of her trademark waist-high hugs.

"Thank you!" she said, her voice muffled by his chest. "I promise I will restore him to his former glory! The champion will ride again!"

"Sure," Chad said, patting her head. "Now if you'll let me go, I'm pretty sure I can find you some tools..."

*****

"It's no use!" Dahlia said, the stinging rain beating down on her bat-wings. The airship listed to one side as demonic lighting clashed against its hull. "This bucket of bolts can't last much longer!"

"Goddamnit," Chuck growled as he disembowled the last of the Demon Queen's gargoyles. The flying creatures had been sent to sabotage them on their way to the third of Aeternia's Pillars of Heaven, the physical manifestation of the God's power in this world. With the airship, they might have stood a chance of beating the Demon Queen there. But without it...

"Don't count the old girl out yet!" Yuri said, scampering over the bodies of their foes to slide under the control panel of the air ship. Yuri was ordinarily very shy but came alive whenever something relating to her passion for machinery came up. The airship - Crisp Breeze On Autumn Twilight as Yuri said the airship liked to be called - had been a pile of rotten wood and rusting aetheric converters before she had gotten her hands on it, and if anyone could save her, she could.

"Stupid elf-girl better hurry," NekoNeko said, shivering in the cold. She had retreated back under the command deck's awning as soon as the fighting ended, the fur on her head matted with rain. "If we all die it will be her fault! And I will haunt you so bad!"

"If we all die she will be dead too," Dahlia said, looking on the proceedings with wry amusement.

"Then I'll haunt her ghost!"

"If you two could be quiet and hand me the galvanic converter," Yuri snapped from under the console, "Maybe I can save both your lives and nobody has to haunt anyone!"

Chad sighed, remembering that leg of their adventure. Yuri was like an entirely different person when she was working on a machine. Normally so shy and reserved, a whole new side of her came out when she was 'communing with the machine spirits,' as she put it.

His idle recollections were interrupted by a metallic smashing sound coming from the garage followed by a litany of Elvish cursing. Shaking his head he left his room to see what she'd gotten up to now.

The garage was unrecognizable. In only three days, Yuri had organized all the tools and sorted the junk piles into something resembling a working system. He hadn't even known there was a chain hoist in here, but Yuri had not only fastened it to the rafters but had the V8 engine dangling above the open hood.

"Yuri? Everything OK in here?" He said with more than a little trepidation.

"Goddess-damned kvulking son of a kvulking Manticore!" Yuri said, rolling her small body out from under the car. She was wearing a pair of denim overalls and not much else, grease staining her cheeks and her small breasts barely peeking over the neckline of the overalls. "I swear to the Goddess Above that you humans have no idea what in the Nine Worlds you're doing!"

"Yuri, sweetie," Chad said, taking a mollifying tone. "Take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong."

"I'm... I'm sorry Chad," she said, sitting up and wiping her forehead with the back of her left arm, which only served to smear more grease on her face. "I just get so frustrated. The crank shaft needs replacing, I'm only getting compression on seven cylinders and I don't know why, and the drive shaft-"

"Babe, I understood maybe one word in four there," Chad said, squatting down on the garage floor next to her and rubbing her shoulder. "Can't you just use your Mechani-Magic? Back on Aeternia-"

"But we're not on Aeternia any more," she said, pouting. "Your world is so mana-starved... it's a wonder that I can hear the machine spirit at all. Ravenous Devourer of Rain-Slick Ashphalt here is in so much pain, and I can't-"

"You've already come farther in three days than I would have been able to do in three years," Chad said reassuringly. "But look. This is Detroit. Motor city. If there's anywhere you can find the parts and expertise you need, it's here."

The diminutive elf looked up at him. "Oh! That's a thought. I didn't even think about asking for help. There's a few groups on Instant Gram for car enthusiasts, maybe..."

"Just be careful, OK?" Chad had had to host an impromptu seminar on internet safety - the last thing he needed was photos of his harem-mates getting out on the internet to reveal the existence of real fantasy creatures to the world. "Don't post any pictures of yourself without the illusion, don't get into sketchy IM conversations-"

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

"I know I know," she muttered, standing up and grabbing her tablet from the workbench. She'd already started making her own modifications, and the once slickly designed touch-screen was now a tangled mess of wires and glass fuses that she swore made it work better. "I'm a grown woman, Chad. I can look after myself."

"It's more everyone else I'm worried about," Chad said, patting her on the shoulder. "Now I've got to get back to work, OK?"

"Uh-huh," Yuri said, absorbed in the tablet. Chad couldn't help but feel a sense of dread, but at the same time, he loved her when she was like this- focused and absorbed in her work. It was refreshing to see her passionate about something again.

*****

"Dinner's ready!" Euridice said, carrying a roasting dish to the dining table. She was wearing her new tube top, yoga pants and an apron - an outfit that Chad found it hard to look away from.

"Ugh! Took you long enough, bird-brain," NekoNeko said, springing over the back of the couch and racing to pull out her chair. "I'm starving!"

"What else is new?" Dahlia said, rolling her eyes as she walked out of the bedroom she shared with Euridice, her tail lazily waving behind her. The bedroom situation had been a bone of contention when they'd first arrived - the angel and the succubus didn't mind sharing a room, but NekoNeko turned out to be very territorial. A line of masking tape clearly delineated the cluttered feline's space from Yuri's pristine and organised half of the room.

The girls quickly organized between themselves a roster for sharing Chad's bed, more to stop NekoNeko from monopolizing his nights to keep "you scheeming witches from stealing Chad-sama's precious seed!" than out of any real sense of jealousy.

Chad sat at the dining table with NekoNeko and Dahlia, and Euridice started to carve up the roast chicken she'd made.

"That smells delicious," he said, his mouth watering. "I just hope you cooked some vegetables in a separate dish for Yuri?"

"Oh, no," Euridice said. "She said she was busy tonight and would eat out."

"Good riddance," NekoNeko said, swiping a big chunk of chicken breast from the roasting tray and stuffing it into her mouth with both hands. "One less harpy to steal time with my beloved!"

"Wait, what?" Chad said, a sharp spike of panic rising in his chest. "Where did she-"

"Something about a car show?" Dahlia said off-handedly. "She asked me to cast the illusion spell before she headed out so you shouldn't worry. She said it was called, uh, Sunday Funday?"

"Oh fuck," Chad said. He pushed his chair back and rushed to the door, grabbing his jacket and patting his pockets for his keys. "You girls play nice while I'm-"

"Have fun playing with your friends, dear!" Euridice called out as she finished serving up the girl's plates. "I'll leave a plate in the oven for you!"

*****

Sunday Funday was the name of Detroit's weekly illegal drifting meet.

It wasn't something Chad had been into, himself, but he'd known kids growing up who went every week to see souped-up production cars and customs drag each other off and pull donuts in one of Detroit's many abandoned and empty industrial districts. The locations kept changing each week as the cops turned up to bust up the gatherings.

If it wasn't for the police things would probably have been pretty chill. The crowd was fairly diverse and while tempers would flare from time to time, the common enemy of the boys in blue meant that tensions were mostly resolved outside the events.

That said, Chad was not comfortable with Yuri heading out at night alone in a strange city in a strange world she knew nothing about. A quick check of relevant social media told him the gathering was currently in Grand River. He couldn't help but feel out of place when the Uber dropped him off - Most people there were at least ten years younger.

He quickly spotted the Dodge. It was easily the most beat-up thing there, standing out amongst the slick 2010s-model muscle cars and their modified down lights. It had attracted a crowd, and he had to push his way through to find Yuri.

The air was filled with the smell of burning rubber and the sound of powerful engines revved to the red line. People had their phones and cameras out to record the action, and the mood was vibrant.

Surprisingly, she seemed in her element. She'd opted to wear a pair of jeans and a bomber jacket Chad had worn as a kid, Yuri being small enough that kid's clothes were necessary. She was holding court with the hood of the car up, explaining her modifications to the appreciative crowd.

"Yuri!" Chad said, finally breaking through to the front of the circle.

"Oh hi Chad!" she said, beaming. "You're just in time! Dan here and I were just going to have a friendly race-"

"The hell you are," Chad said. "When I said you should reach out I didn't mean-"

"Look man, it's chill," a large black man with buzz-cut hair said, presumably the eponymous Dan. "It's just $1500 to get in-"

"Yuri, you did what-"

"It's fine!" The short elf looked up at Chad with sparkling eyes. "Ravenous Devourer says he's ready, and besides, Dan says he knows where I can get a replacement piston for that cylinder that's not firing-"

"You can't race on seven cylinders-" Chad said, exasperated. "What were you-"

A blare of sirens cut him off. Cries of "Po-lice! Police!" filled the air, and the crowd scattered to their cars. Yuri slammed the hood down and jumped into the driver's seat.

Chad followed her through the passenger door. "This is exactly what I was afraid of," he admonished her. "The cops here won't come out for home intruders or robberies, but street racing is one of the few things they give a shit about."

"Psh, I'm not worried about the city watch," she said, turning the key. The engine purred like NekoNeko rubbing against Chad's shins. "Won't be the first time we've left flatfoots in the dust."

"Aeternia town guards don't have semi-auto rifles and reconnaisance drones," Chad said darkly as Yuri popped the clutch and took off in a scream of tyres.

They ended up on the freeway heading back towards the I-95, Dan's 2015 Camaro pulling up alongside them just as a police cruiser fishtailed onto the motorway behind them. Chad gripped the handle above the passenger door and glared at Yuri.

"Isn't this fun?" She said, her voice perky and excited. "Now we can race AND embarass the watch!"

Chad groaned as Yuri dropped Ravenous Devourer into fourth and gunned the engine.

Unfortunately, the police must have had this exit staked out. Two more cruisers pulled onto the freeway from the next on-ramp, taking up two of the three lanes. Dan and Yuri were neck and neck, and there was only room for one of them to slip between the cops.

"Sweetie, I think-"

"Less talking, more driving," Yuri said, narrowing her eyes and placing one hand on the dashboard. Her palm glowed as she channeled mana into the body of the car, a slight navy blue glow coating the hard body.

The Dodge surged forward, leant additional speed by the elf's sorcery. The two cops ahead pulled closer together, narrowing the gap, but Yuri showed no signs of slowing down.

"Holy shit-" Chad cursed, just as the nose of their ride nudged the bumpers of both policemen.

Either from sheer momentum or magical encouragement, the Dodge pushed both cruisers apart, fish-tailing them into wide, uncontrolled spins. As Yuri surged ahead, the heavy SUVs of the Detroit PD smashed into the protective railing on either side of the freeway, flipping on their noses to land on their roofs with a sickening crunch.

Yuri yelled like a maniac, slamming her hand on the wheel in triumph. "HA! That's what I'm talking about! FUCK THE POLICE!"

"We... really need to talk about your media choices," Chad said, his heart racing.

The third cop car had stopped when their fellow police crashed, and Yuri took the exit leading to Nardin Park. Losing the last cop in the side streets, she slowed down and started to drive home.

"Yuri, honey, I'm really glad you're making friends," Chad said, resting his hand on her thigh. "But you really need to not do this again."

"What, don't you trust me?" Yuri said, glaring at him. "After all we've been through, a few pigs aren't going to be a challenge-"

"I trust you," he said seriously. "We just have to keep a low profile, is all, and we can't do that if the cops seize the car and haul you up on charges. I mean, I'm sure Ravenous Devourer of Rain-Slick Ashphalt doesn't want to end up property of the Detroit PD, does he?"

"...I suppose..." Yuri said with a sigh. "I just... sometimes I miss it, you know? The adventuring?"

"I know what you mean," Chad said, slumping in the passenger seat. "Things were simpler then, you know? Kick ass, take names-"

"-and level up our powers through SexBonding..." Yuri said, reaching over the center console to stroke Chad's inner thigh. "That was always the best part..."

"You minx," Chad said as his body responded to her touch. "But Euri made a roast..."

"I think she'll understand," the diminutive girl said, pulling the car up into a secluded parking lot. "Besides, I can think of a much more delicious piece of meat I want to eat..."

*****

When they finally arrived home hours later, Yuri's phone pinged with a notification as the backed the car into the garage. Chad looked over her shoulder as she read the message.

D-Dog78: Yo that shit was fire you know your shit

D-Dog78: You need work swing by my shop

Yuri turned to look at Chad with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Yuri..." Chad said, voice heavy with disapproval.

"Please!" She said. "It's just mechanic work, I promise! No more racing! And you did say we needed jobs..."

"...fine..." Chad said with a sigh. "I can never say no when you make that face."

"Yay!" she said, giving him a big hug. "Thank you! I won't make you regret this!"

She picked up her phone and texted back.

RealFaeGGirl: fo sure

"Screen name is a little on the nose, don't you think?" Chad said. She just shrugged.

"If you got it flaunt it, and baby," she said with a grin. "I definitely have it."