Chapter Five: My Succubus Witch Waifu Joins A Yoga Class!

"LET'S GO POLE-CATS, LET'S GO!"

The crowd clapped three times in quick succession following the chant, then started the chant again. On the other side of the field, the supporters of the other team were cheering their side on too.

"Oh my gosh, isn't this exciting?" Euridice said, clapping her hands together under her chin. "It's kind of like Scrumbleball back home, only with a lot less violence--"

Just as she spoke, Dahlia dropped into a vicious slide tackle that sent the Honey Badger's star striker tumbling to the muddy field.

"OK, marginally less violence," Euridice corrected herself. "GO DAHLIA! Kick her ass!"

Euridice and Chad had come out to watch Dahlia's Friday night game against the West Taylor Polecat's hated rivals, the East Taylor Honey Badgers. According to Dahlia, the rivalry was partially due to East Taylor's general snobbishness, but mostly due to the fact that they'd thought up a way cooler name for their social soccer team.

Chad was happy she'd found a social outlet, but was more than a little concerned at the nature of that outlet. After all--

"GOOOOOALLLLL!" Euridice yelled, at the same time as all the rest of the Polecat's cheer section. On the field, one of the Polecat's strikers had slipped past the back-field and landed a tricky shot into the corner of the Honey Badger's net. The whole team ran towards the lithe young woman and wrapped her in a massive group hug- a massive group hug in which Chad noticed more than a few hands had strayed to Dahlia's shapely derriere.

--After all, Chad thought, women's soccer teams were a notorius for being packed full of lesbians.

*****

"Look, I don't know what the big deal is," Dahlia said on the drive back. Chad was behind the wheel, and the Euridice and Dahlia were canoodling in the back seat. Chad didn't mind driving - he was the only one of the household apart from Yuri who knew how to drive, and Chad was definitely not going to let her drive more than he absolutely had to.

"I mean, it's not like I'm going to let any of them fuck me," Dahlia continued, in the tone of someone who clearly would have let any of them fuck her if she wasn't already in a relationship. "I just enjoy the attention, you know? Since when is that a crime?"

"Yeah, Chad," Euridice chimed in. "Since when are you such a prude?"

"I'm not being prudish," Chad sighed, ignoring the fact that Euridice's left hand was in a decidedly non-platonic position on Dahlia's body. "It's just... things are different here. This isn't Aeternia, and I don't want you breaking any hearts."

Unlike Earth, Aeternia had a very... permissive attitude towards same-sex attraction and unconventional relationships. Without the oppressive puritan streak of American morality, multiple partner relationships were common place, even amongst lovers who didn't take the leap into full fledged SexBonding.

Chad had found it liberating to say the least. He'd always felt that his heart was big enough for more than one person, and on Aeternia he had had the freedom to share his love with the people who mattered most to him. His love for Euridice was different from his love for Dahlia, and their love for each other brought out the best in both of them - and in turn, he was able to appreciate the obvious overflowing joy they found in each other's company.

Even if Yuri would bitch about having to mop up the evidence of their overflowing joy from Relentless Devourer's upholstery the next morning.

"It's fine, Chad," Dahlia drawled. "The girls all know I'm a taken woman, it's all just good natured thirsting between gal pals."

"If it's about your energy diet-"

"I enjoy their company," Dahlia said, suddenly stern. "I'm allowed to make friends aren't I? I mean, if we have to live in this backwater world- and it's not like you're trying all that hard to find the Demon Queen-"

"That's not fair," Euridice said sternly. "Chad's been working hard to re-establish his life here and keep the roof over our heads. I've been keeping an eye on the mana levels around here and haven't noticed any spikes, so whatever she's planning it can't have gotten very far-"

"It's OK, Euri," Chad said with a sigh. "I'm sorry. Of course I'm happy you're making friends, Dahlia. And you're right, we do need to track down Malefice. It's just- women who love women aren't fully accepted in this world, and I'd hate it if any of your friends got more attached than you thought they were and got hurt, you know?"

Dahlia bit her lower lip slunk into the back seat, frowning.

"I do trust you," Chad said in a soft voice. "But you do have a lot to learn about this backwater world."

"Fine, fine," Dahlia huffed.

"Are you pouting?" Chad asked, looking at her in the rear view mirror.

"I don't pout."

"Aww, is my widdle demoness in a saa~aad?" Euridice teased, leaning against the succubus and tracing a finger on her belly button.

"I don't get sad- hey, what are you- that tickles you absolute cow--"

Chad rolled his eyes and concentrated on the drive home.

*****

"What... what is this power..." the demoness asked, looking up at Chuck from the floor. The fight had lasted for hours, and it had been all Chuck and Euridice could manage to fight the relentless sorcereress to a standstill.

In the end, it had only been the extra power Chuck had gained from SexBonding with the angelic warrior that had tipped the balance. Alone, his InkMagic would have been overwhelmed, but with the extra power from Euridice's love, he had been able to triumph.

"This is a power beyond that granted by the Demon Queen," Euridice said. The Ink-swords she held dissolved back into the amorphous liquid mana that was the manifestation of Chuck's power. He held out his hands to let his body re-absorb the magic. "It's the power of love. True love, Dahlia. Something that the Demon Queen will never be able to share with you."

The angelic warrior bent down to cup the succubus' face in her hands.

"More than that," she said, gazing into the deep black depths of Dahlia's eyes. "It's the power... to move you."

"Hell's sake," Dahlia said, reading over Chad's shoulder. "I know Euridice talks like an absolute sap but do you really think anyone is going to buy this drivel?"

"You'd be surprised," Chad said, leaning back in his chair. His vertebrae popped back into place with a crack, but he was rewarded with a pair of soft breasts sliding over his face. "It's less important to write good than it is to hit the tropes in this game."

"Can't hear you, you're talking into my boobs," the demoness said, squishing said boobs into Chad's head with her hands. "Anyway, are you done? It's nearly time to go."

"Just five more minutes," he mumbled, shaking his face from side to side. Dahlia laughed and backed away from his chair.

Dahlia hadn't applied the illusion spell yet. She was tall, almost as tall as Chad, and had the kind of figure a 60's film starlet would have killed for- perfect hourglass curves and a bust that would seem indecent no matter what she wore. and being a literal lust demon, the clothes she normally wore were downright obscene.

As it was, she was currently dressed in perfectly commonplace athleisure wear - black lycra leggings and a sports bra, both of which lifted her already supernaturally perky assets to dizzying heights. The racerback cut of the top gave her four-foot-wide bat-wings room to breathe, and the high waist of her leggings hid the Lust Seal tattooed on her lower waist.

"Look, this was your idea, wise guy," Dahlia said. "Daphne invited me to her yoga class and you wanted to tag along to make sure I kept my hands to myself, remember? I'm perfectly fine to go on my own--"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Chad said with a theatrical sigh. He levered himself up out of his chair and stretched his arms above and behind his head. "Besides, it'll probably be good for my posture. You wouldn't believe how hard writing is on your back."

"Only if you don't take regular breaks and slouch. You know. Like a peasant,"

The pair moved through the house into the garage, where Yuri was buffing Ravenous Devourer's hood and humming to herself.

"You're in a good mood," Chad said, giving the petite elf a quick tap on her pert little ass. Yuri giggled appreciatively.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Oh, that's because I am," she said, turning to look up at him with a mischevous smile. "You know how insufferable NekoNeko is when she goes into heat--"

The three of them paused to think about the last time this had happened.

*****

"No! NEKONEKO! Bad kitty! You CANNOT start grinding on the Demon Queen's Void Orb!"

"But it feels so good-- YEOW!"

*****

"--well, let's just say that she's been in a much better mood since you returned from your shopping expedition," Yuri continued. "I'm almost willing to move back into my bed. Almost."

"It has been a lot quieter around here," Chad allowed, opening the back door to the car for Dahlia. "She said something about 'not being willing to rest until I have conquered this new challenge!' and I don't think she's left her room since we got back."

"I'm more than a little jealous, Chad darling," Dahlia said as she pushed past him to fold herself into the back of the car. "When am I going to get to visit this quaint little merchant I've heard so much about?"

"Do you mean the store, or do you mean Stacey?" Chad said, ducking into the car behind her. Yuri settled into hte front seat and turned in place to follow the conversation.

"Either? Both?" Dahlia said, as the three of them fastened their seat belts. "Their wares sound absolutely delectable and by all accounts Stacey is a very nice and open-minded young girl.

Chad had bullied NekoNeko into helping him tidy the place up and had offered to pay for the damages. Stacey had insisted that wasn't necessary - on the condition that she got NekoNeko's phone number and a future invitation to dinner. Chad had been doing his best to postpone that dinner date for as long as possible.

"I just don't want to drag a civilian into our mess," Chad said, "at least not while Malefice is running around doing God knows what. Besides, what we have is quite a bit different from how this world handles multi-partner relationships."

"Oh I don't know," Dahlia said as her right hand settled on Chad's thigh. "From the materials I've been reviewing--"

"For the last time, PornHub is not a documentary channel," Chad chided her.

"I think it might be nice to make a new friend," Yuri said. "And I'd like to hear her opinion on some of the devices she sells. I took a look at that so-called Magic Wand you bought, and I think that if I could get some tungsten wire, some rare earth magnets and a catalytic converter I could-"

Chad groaned and Yuri laughed, pivoting back to the steering wheel and turning the key. Relentless Devourer of Rain Slick Ashphalt ticked over and purred like NekoNeko on a catnip bender, the engine sounding for all the world like it hadn't been in mothballs for over a decade.

They pulled out of the garage, Yuri pushing the clicker to lower the sectional garage door behind them.

"You're so stressed, Chad," Dahlia said, her voice low and sultry. "This class is going to be so good for you."

Chad let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and sank into the car's leather seat.

"Know what else is good for stress?" Dahlia said rhetorically. "Road head!"

Chad groaned as Yuri angled the rear view mirror to get a better look.

*****

The yoga studio turned out to be on the ground floor of a converted warehouse in a recently gentrified neighbourhood. Apartments up top, boutique artisinal knick-knacks gew-gaws and tiny food down below.

Chad tried to ignore the skin crawling sensation as he and Dahlia - cloaked in a reliable illusion spell that hid her wings but decidedly did not hide her devillish figure - stepped past the door in a sprinkle of wind chimes. The tasteful off-white walls and vaguely South East Asian-esque music combined with the cloying smell of incense and array of randomly polished crystals spread haphazardly on every surface were giving him hives.

"Namaste!" a tall, pony-tailed blonde white woman said in a breathy voice, crossing the studio to wrap Dahlia in an embrace.

"Namaste!" Dahlia replied, air-kissing her on both cheeks. "Daphne, this is my lover, Chad. Chad, this is Daphne, from the Polecats?"

Daphne was every inch the tanned #Fitspo influencer, dressed in matching teal LuLuLemon athliesure wear that exposed every sculpted line on her toned body. Whether she'd paid for it or worked for it, Chad would have been a lot more attracted to her if he hadn't spent two years on a planet full of insanely beautiful babes, or if Daphne had been any less a cliche.

"I saw you guys play," Chad said, extending a hand. "You're on the wing, right?"

Daphne ignored the hand and went straight for the hug, which Chad awkwardly returned to Dahlia's obvious amusement.

"Oooh, a follower of the beautiful game, I take it?" Daphne said, holding Chad at arm's length and not-so-subtly squeezing his arms. "And you obviously lift as well. You didn't tell me your boyfriend was so..."

"I'm not much of a sports guy, really," Chad said, gently taking her wrists off of him with a forced smile. "But Dahlia's been giving me lessons."

"It's a great way to get any excess aggression out of your system in a socially approved way," Dahlia said with a smile.

"It was either soccer or hockey," Chad explained, "and I wasn't going to trust her with a blunt instrument."

"You get a stick to hit people with, darling," Dahlia drawled. "Otherwise what's the point?"

"Isn't she a hoot?" Daphne said, further conversation stalled by the sound of windchimes as a pair of women entered the studio. "Grab a mat and get comfortable, we'll get started soon OK?"

"Looking forward to it darling," Dahlia said, blowing her friend a kiss and taking Chad by the arm.

"What exactly did you tell her about us?" Chad muttered under his breath as Dahlia took her place in the centre of the front row.

"The truth of course," she said with a wink. "That you're my lover, we have a - what's the phrase - 'an unconventional romance with one man and several women,' and that you're such a stud it takes more than one woman to satisfy you and we don't mind sharing..."

"You realize how that sounds, don't you?" Chad said in what he was rapidly coming to think of as his Dad Voice.

"How does that sound, lover?"

"It sounds like you've been pimping me out to every bored housewife in Detroit."

"Chad!" Dahlia clapped her hands to her chin, her mouth wide in faux-shock. "I am shocked and scandalized that you would think I would do such a thing!"

Chad glared at her.

"I've only been pimping you out to every bored housewife in West Taylor. And a few in East Taylor. Oh, and Brooke, but she lives in Corktown--"

"Dahlia," he said, but the sound of Daphne's clapping at the head of the class cut off any further conversation.

"Now class," Daphne said, beaming beatifically. "If everyone is ready to cultivate their chakras, then let's begin."

*****

Despite Chad's instinctive skepticism for anything and everything bougie, he had to admit: This yoga business was no joke.

Sure he'd chuckled along with everyone else when people made cracks about Downward Facing Dog and Child Pose and Greeting the Sun, but it was still a serious workout. Holding even a simple pose for more than a minute and he could feel the burn.

He could also feel the eyes of almost every woman in the room running all over him. He'd opted for basketball shorts paired with a singlet that he swore wasn't this tight before his trip to Aeternia, and he was already regretting it. Either the air was thick with incense, or it was thick with the untraceable scent of phermones unleased by a baker's dozen of women ovulating at once.

It wasn't that he minded the attention. He was an adult, he knew - better than most men - that women were sexual beings with wandering eyes every bit as thirsty as the horniest guy. Besides, he'd worked hard for his body and was comfortable in his skin. If you've got it, as a wise person once said, why not flaunt it?

No. What was bothering him was the obvious glee Dahlia was taking in the attention he was getting.

Whenever she fed on lust energy, she glowed, like thousands of tiny luminous spheres were refracting the light hitting her skin, or less fancifully, like her capillaries were flush with the heat of arousal. He supposed that was why she enjoyed getting her fix in athletic or exercise contexts, as the blush could be otherwise explained by perfectly normal societally accepted physical exertion.

She had a grin on her face that only grew wider every time Daphne adjusted his posture or called him to the front of the class to demonstrate a position. It probably didn't hurt that every eye in the room that wasn't fixated on Chad was firmly affixed to her own curvacous derriere as she contorted and flexed under Daphne's instruction.

Nevertheless, discomfort aside, the class passed without incident. Chad had been bracing himself for - he didn't know what, exactly, but there were worse ways to go than being mauled to death by a pack of lust-mad soccer moms.

Daphne ended the class and the students filed out in ones and twos, chatting amongst themselves. Despite Chad's efforts and hurrying her along, Dahlia manged to fuss about long enough that they were the last ones left.

"So, Chad," Daphne said, practically stalking towards him. "How did you like your first Yoga class?"

"It was an experience," he said diplomatically.

"Are you sure you've not done this before?" she continued in a fawning voice. "You're a natural."

"I've, uh, cultivated my chakras before, let's say," Chad said. "Anyway, I think our ride is coming soon-"

"Oh, Yuri said she was going to work late at the garage," Dahlia cut in. "Euridice said she'd leave a plate in the oven for us and Ne- I mean, Nyatalie will be busy with her own thing tonight. We don't have to be anywhere for quite a while..."

"Oh, fantastic!" Daphne said. "Why don't we get cocktails? There's a fabulous little speakeasy-"

"Actually I was hoping to get some work done tonight," Chad said sternly, grabbing Dahlia's hand as the succubus smirked at him. "We really must be going, but it was a real pleasure-"

"Don't forget to follow me on Instagram!" Daphne said, following them to the door as Chad hurried them both out to the street. "And please come again!"

Chad almost dragged Dahlia behind him as they made their way down the block and around the corner. Chad rounded on Dahlia, who leaned back on a brick wall with a wicked laugh.

"Oh the look on your face!" she cackled. "You're always so sexy when you turn red like that-"

"What the hell was that about?" he snapped, looming over her with one arm pressed against the wall next to her head. "We were about one sexual innuendo away from being mobbed in there."

"I knoooow..." the succubus purred, running one finger down Chad's sternum under the singlet. "I've been a very, very wicked girl, and you should punish me..."

Chad growled and grabbed her by the neckline of her crop top with his left hand, and the bewitching witch arced her back in response...

"And the best way to punish a succubus is not to give her what she wants," Chad said in the Dad Voice, letting her go. She moaned in frustration and her whole body shivered.

"Why?" Chad asked, his voice back to normal as he lay back on the wall next to her. "Just... why?"

"Like I said, I'm bored," Dahlia said. "This world... it's not like home. Back home, what we were doing mattered, it was important. We were helping people! Righting wrongs! Fighting evil! But here-"

"Here, there's evil everywhere but it's not the kind you can punch or zap or set on fire," Chad said. "I get it. I do. This world has just as many problems as Aeternia but the solutions aren't simple. Or, they might be simple, but nobody can agree on whether the problems should be solved or not."

Dahlia nodded, and Chad turned his head to see she was blinking back tears.

"Hey. Hey, sweetie, come here," Chad said, wrapping her in a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder and let it all out, all the frustrations, self dounts, and hurt she couldn't share with anyone else.

"Its gonna be OK, love," Chad said, soothing her long black hair. "You don't have to hide from me. I don't have to hide from you. That's the deal, remember?"

"Yeah," she said, sniffing and wiping her face on his shirt. "Yeah, I remember."

She pulled away, her face composed once more with her customary sardonic grin. "In the meantime, you won't begrudge a girl a little fun, will you?"

"I don't get it," Chad said, pulling out his phone and calling an Uber. "What's the appeal in turning on a room full of women and teasing them with what they can't have?"

"Are you kidding?" Dahlia drawled. "Do you have any idea how erotic it is for me knowing that my man is such a hung alpha stud who could have any woman he wants by clicking his fingers, but saves all of that hunka hunka burning love for little old me? And certain select companions that I approve of?"

"Well, if you put it like that-"

Their ride pulled up and rolled down the window., revealing an attractive early 20's dark-skinned college student with curly orange hair dressed in a mid-thigh dress that hugged her trim body.

"You guys call for a ride?" she said, cocking one eyebrow.

Dahlia and Chad looked at each other.

"We'll get the next one," Chad said.