"What comes after death? Where do you go? How long does it take to realize death? What is death? Am I dead? When was I ever considered born?" The Special Boy
Chapter 31: Goodbye
A Boy watched from above, lying upon a dark crimson cloud as a white amorphous blob stood in front of a pile of white-stained snow. A pile, a plot, the size of an island down below. A private island to that lone child lounging up above on a snow cloud, the bloodstained island of snow appeared as a speck on his planet of blood. What happened next to the white speck he couldn’t be the judge.
It was the second time the boy had created something of this scale. Unlike his first creation, this planet of blood was made on a whim resembling a giant spherical blood clot. The first creation was still being contemplated but he was sure to make it a personal hell.
It began as a puddle. Raw emotion turned that puddle into a stream. The stream became a river in time, but the child wanted to see even greater happenings.
As below so above.
Blood would run until it became an endless sea. From the endless sea, he gave shape and now it was a planet only he could see.
The Child knew why he had ended up here, how he ended up here when it wasn't his "Now" but Clivent Bane's later. Difficult to explain the time lapse between planes.
'Reality is what you make of it. Everyone makes mistakes.' and he was okay with that; he was a special boy, not a perfect boy. His words became actions. Actions often lead to consequences, consequences he didn’t care to face. It wasn’t in his nature to let people make choices for him, so he crammed some homework into an already hectic day.
Was he an Intruder? Some people would say that the space he currently occupied was sacred, that he was breaking the natural laws implemented by the System, Laws ordained by Candralt. But to the Child, he was trying his very best not to entertain himself.
He tries his very best to be considerate towards the Wolfman who unknowingly took advantage of his mistake. His words though a mistake gave the Wolfman a chance. A chance of what? The boy had already said.
At the time he failed to comprehend words that could change the Wolfman's fate.
The Wolfman now held one of the boy's cards in his hands.
A child now waits patiently for said card to return. If it didn’t, he would just make other plans. So he watches the show, sitting on a cloud of darkened red snow. He chose to spare some time for the wolfman who had yet to return his card. His plans were already in motion.
It truly wasn’t his intention to be cruel; he wasn't raised that way.
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Chapter 31: Goodbye
Am I standing? I don't have legs or eyes to see the legs that should be. All I had were arms, hands, and a mouth. It was better than being Nothing. I understand that now. He said that I would have a choice.
"So where was it!? Where is my choice!!" It didn’t seem like a choice would be presented. It looked like he was leaving me by my lonesome.
'Me? What was I? What am I? Who am I? Am I this?' A white blob left to float, soaking in my entrails.
Am I the Wolf child? I can’t even say that this little guy sleeping in my oversized hands was my inner child. In truth he’s the part of me I hid from the world, a world out to get me in some way.
'The System was cruel as well in creating you all those years back.' I should've been allowed to carry on and live my life unburdened by the past.
I was asking too much. A half-life it was. So many decades are gone. Years spent, longing for Death, all In the name of chasing life. I float waiting for another option to be presented.
Staring at a reflection, my reflection is amorphous. The amorphous blob, tainted and stained from this world of bloodshed.
'I want to be with him no matter what, by any means. This is the conviction that I need.' My life is much more than that Nothing, he'd left me to before. Where there was nothing but the pitch and the sound that may or may not have come with.
Why is it still not enough? Why do I feel this way? 'I am everything I could ever need or want. I am enough. I’ve always had enough. A lie. The tremendous lie. Regardless of how pathetic I am, it's not the reason he doesn’t want me. That’s not the reason I gave myself, my entire life to him.
"Where’s my Oath!? I want my second option!” I kept leaking red liquid and shouting until my voice would be heard. I didn't have all day to bleed this liquid life.
So I plead.
'He’s, my start. I will follow him. Follow him By any means, that's my choice.' This life is over. I don’t want any extensions. A monster he wanted, and a monster he'll have. In less than twenty years, I would've died. If not for him, what was it all for? All my life I've searched for that one thing and now I've found it. Was this a hard choice to make? I didn't see it that way.
Staring at the only white mass of snow in sight I moved with my past self cupped in hand. Floating on top of the Red Sea, unsure if there was grassland beneath.
My world stands still. And life remains underwhelming, unfulfilling, unsavory. "I don’t want to be alone anymore." I could heal but never could I recover, And in such a short period of time, he'd done both. What more could I ask for? I won’t be breaking my promise in this lifetime. It’s the first and only promise I've ever made that I have a chance to keep.
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“I'll LIVE FOR YOU, I’LL BE A MONSTER IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT BUT PLEASE DON'T HATE WHAT I TURN INTO FOR YOU!” I shouted from the maw belonging to the monster I had become.
"Can I Class up this is taking a lot out of me."
The bloody landscape pulses, As I float for the gigantic circle of snow with a Wolf child in hand. I stopped moving when I saw the snow coming towards me floating on the river of blood. It didn’t take long.
The ocean of blood trembled and things were picking up. I am a white formless two-armed Blob that has been emptied and hollowed out by the Pitch. I'd forgotten Clivent Bane wherever I was, and now that I'd gotten a chance to be something else I still felt as if something was missing. I know what I'm missing. It is not a loss of limbs or the lack of organs that pains me, that empties me.
I was born this way, and I will always be this. Without body, I am but the mind and the pitch. This is an experience that I will take back with me if Adonin lets me take his Oath.
Crimson shakes violently from the clouds above in the form of rain, hail, and snow as his voice echoes. It soothes and squeezes something inside of me, inside of us. And at the mention of my name the Wolf child in hand wakes from his slumber.
The words of power cause us two to stare up into the restless clouds as our attention was his for the taking.
“Clivent Bane, the Runt in name, wants nothing more than Adonin, time is not on his side because no one can have me. The Runt has talked and laughed; he professes love when asked. The pain of life is nothing short of an endless task. No children will be offered, will love ever be returned? He will most likely die following a boy to his death with nothing gained and nothing earned. Clivent Bane, will you live for me, without expecting anything in return? Will you become a monster if it is my will? If I demand it would you even kill? Give your entire life. Devour the Runt if you accept my Oath!”
DEVOUR THE RUNT
..
…
…...
He’s serious. He was serious.
I looked at the Runt standing in my hands just as I the sea. The Runt smiled with eyes of- They were my eyes, my hands, my ears.
Blood and steam came gushing out of my white form once more. I was hurting, aching. What he asked of me was an obscenity of the highest degree.
He wanted me to kill myself. Looking into the wolf child’s blue and black eyes of wonder and his perfect ears. Sorrow and sadness were what I wanted to feel, I should have felt something for the Runt. But those false feelings would be insincere. In truth, I could not feel anything for the Runt. "I will not let you have my pity." This wolfchild could never understand what it was like to be me. The Runt's life belonged to me it had always been my burden.
This is a healthy seven-year-old wolf child. This child has never starved. This child had never eaten his mother's filth. This child has never been pissed on by his Kin in a show of superiority. This child's innocence was never taken. His ear had never been bitten. He had never experienced the loss of one's own life through enslavement. I could go on for ages, but it could never compare to this child's previous eternity. An eternity of snow and play.
There was no need to rationalize. He had never experienced what it is like to live as the Bane of one’s existence. But does that mean he doesn't deserve to be pitied?
“You are just an imitation, the only thing you’ve experienced is Adonin and snow. This would be the only thing to ever inconvenience you. This is going to be the last thing to inconvenience you.”
The blood and steam were gushing out of me and covering the child. That showed no reaction to the mess I was getting on his pelt.
“I’m sorry I truly am, little one. If you are truly the Runt you would help me do what has to be done.” This Runt had everything, even now there was no pity to be bargained.
At my words, The Runt surrendered himself to me kneeling in my hands on all fours. Blood stained his precious and innocent image. The child didn’t beg because he was mute. He wouldn’t beg because he wanted to die more than anyone, but he knew death wouldn’t take him.
My form of white began to bleed once more, staining the white snow to match the river underneath. It poured out of me, in a final show to fill the rest of this vile world.
I bled even more knowing I was surrendering myself. " As to where the liquid was coming from I couldn't have known.
It was too cruel to see the RUNT kneel and not struggle for life. It pained me greatly to see what could have been. Worst of all it hurt most knowing deep down that the Runt was looking to be pitied by someone or something as a sign, a sign that I could keep my life and survive one more day.
Taking in Clivent Bane with my two hands and pulling him into a much-needed embrace. I hugged him deeply, trying not to squish him from the sheer size of one of my hands the same size as his entire body. He deserved love. The love that made you want to get out of bed for just one more day. Love that could make you all the more insignificant when in its presence. The love that’s embracing. It tells you that your flaws will go unjudged. A love that can stop time just for a moment. A moment that you will remember for the rest of your life.
He had received that love for an eternity, and it showed in his black and blue eyes of wonder, his plush coat of dark brown free of the previous malnourished hairless spots. Spots that would've grown to be patchy grays. I was taking the wolf child image in, a gift was this sight.
The river of blood had an upsurge, or the island of tainted snow we now stood in the middle of was sinking. I continued to bleed, to the point of blurring my eyeless vision.
If only I could make this moment last forever. I’m so sorry little guy.
“This is worth dying for.”
Opening the maw on my amorphous form. Two sharp rows of teeth rip through my mouth like a flawless white blanket had been stabbed through by a knife. Blood flows from the pain of what was happening and what was to come. I could not feel pain, I was a blob made Without. The Runt, the Runt was vulnerable his first breath and my his last.
It was a beautiful song, the sound of my undoing. The language was unrecognizable but anything is preferable to the Pitch. The Pitch is unbearable, and nothing could be worse...but Losing-
“CRUNCH!!!”
[*PING* YOU HAVE KILLED CLIVENT BANE!!!$@?*3M E*!0R!!!!!]
[*ZING!!!!* CLASS UP CANCELED YOU HAVE KILLED YOURSELF! YOU HAVE DIED!]