Chapter 30: Realities Intruder

“You're beautiful, that's for sure you'll never ever fade, you're lovely, " Singing, someone is singing.

It's him, I know that voice! Where is he!? I can hear you!

"But it's not for sure, That I won't ever change.” Adonin! I can hear you! Where are you?! I could hear his voice echoing across- Where was I? When did I get here? Where is here!?

'I'm supposed to be in a Trial, this is a Trial.'

“Your faith in me brings me to tears, even after all these years end, and it pains me so much to tell you that you don't know me that well.” I clung to his every word.

His words were all. Had I opened my eyes? Where, Where am I?

“Such a pretty song, you focus on what you see and not what you hear little doggy.” He hummed and repeated the lines he had already sung before and all I could do was listen. I couldn’t see or feel anything; it made me question if I even existed, to begin with.

“I do know you well,” I said aloud, unable to see my lips, the structure of my teeth, the length of my tongue.

“Wrong.” He replies to me, wherever I am.

Where was I? What time is it?

“You've yet to class up, yes.” That’s right, I was classing up. How could he know? Where did he go?

"I waited for you!" I shout but what I perceive to be words or the slightest remembrance of transmitted thought seem to fall on deaf ears.

“You claim to know me but fail to know anything about me. Little Wolf, you don’t even know where you are as of now. Future, present, or past,” he was wrong I knew him better than anyone.

“If it is so, enlighten me starting with my name. He was amused. What was so amusing? I want to see him.

“Your name is Adonin and-” I wanted to respond earnestly but every word came out as a pleading. Words, my thoughts? They had no substance.

“I'm your life’s Line,” He cut me off taking my words and making them his own.

“What else "Runt", Surely there’s more to it.” His words cut deep.

"Those words, please don't call me that!" I was in distress. I had no place to run, I needed to get away from-

“Adonin is my [Life’s Line]. I've waited my whole life for him, that's all I need." Resolutely, my whole life I've waited, I'll wait longer if that's what it takes.

“Wrong again, Clivent Bane, your so-called "[Life’s Line]" never specified who or what your life’s line was, you made that decision on your own. So, tell me why you chose me?” Because you are my line, you have to be!

“No, reason,” I reply into the pitch, I am somewhere, in there, the darkness.

“You lie to me, and you lie to yourself. One more chance. Just on.”

“When you fell from the sky, you saved me from a life not worth living. It's always been!” Words moved in fear against my will.

“So, you keep saying. I don’t want to be mean, but it sounds as if your life means Nothing.”

“Yes,” I replied to his summarization. No one besides me had ever put it so simply.

“Do me a favor and reiterate the Oath that you so readily accepted. Wholeheartedly I might add.” What did reiterate mean?

I spoke what I knew to be true. “I Clivent Bane the Runt in name, want nothing more than Adonin time is not on my side because no one can have him. The Runt has talked and laughed; he professes love when asked. The pain of life is nothing short of an endless task. No children will be offered, will love ever be returned? I will most likely die following a boy to my death with nothing gained and nothing earned. Clivent Bane, will you live for Adonin, without expecting anything in return?” Give my entire life. I remembered every word, I couldn’t help it.

“Oooh such a poet, I’ve got chills.” He laughs rubbing it in. “So Clivent Bane you accepted this "Oath," is that what you call it, but why should I?” He created the Oath. Why was he asking me?

“You honestly don’t think a six-year-old boy with little to no parental guidance can come up with a contract, Oath, or any deal in that matter and not be scammed. What do I stand to gain from Clivent Bane?”

“My life.” Saying those words it came together, the picture Adonin wanted to paint.

“Yes, good Doggy,” he teases me. His tone was conclusive, lackadaisical. It told me of a place. My place.

“The truth of the matter, Clivent, is that I would’ve taken your life as payment for accepting the Oath, but you see now I feel like I'm being scammed. A life without meaning is worthless. A life that means "Nothing" in your words is worthless to me. I’m not pretty sure you understand the repercussions of this "Oath". What will you use as compensation, what can I do with a life worth nothing?”

Maybe classing up has brought me here. He can't be here, impossible. 'Clivent get it together you're losing your mind.' My thoughts were just that. I was currently being robbed of all of my senses. This couldn't have been magic, Adonin didn't have magic. Why was my Class up like this, I'd never heard of anyone going through such a Trial on the hundredth, specifically a trial in such a place.

“Yes, Clivent Bane get it together the only way out is through. On that note, what will you be giving up? How much is a life worth "nothing"? Are you really okay with giving up your life to a stranger? You don’t have all day.”

"Why Adonin?", I respond in the loud silence. There was nothing to indicate the passage of time. In the darkness I waited, almost forgetting who am I, What I was. At first, there was comfort in being alone, then there was fear of living like this forever. On came an intense longing. And then I lost my mind, reduced to burning rage followed by howling and growling. A hunger that I had crossed paths with before came in a state of madness. Quickly, doused by my inability to feel.

The howling and growling continue as I'm reduced to those days. And the howling comes to an end.

The pitch sings a hollow whistle. Another lifetime has passed. I am tired and spent but this is the half of it.

I have forgotten.

“Well, that didn’t take long? ” ... " What is it!? Who is it!!?!" Someone had finally knocked at the door.

“You should be asking. Who are you?” The voice knew something! I have to know about me. Myself? who am I?

“Oh, that’s easy, you are Clivent Bane.” The name didn’t sound familiar. If it was my own, why didn’t I remember it? Who am I?

“Good question. Clivent Bane, who are you?” A chuckle. What is a voice? Why do I call it that?

'I don’t know.' I thought. I think. 'I think?'

“Must not have been that important for you to forget.” A thought invading my own, it is on top while I am at the bottom. No, they weren't invading. The voice was adding to my stream. I...I know so much. The voice knows more.

“Can you tell me? Who am I?” I went on sharing nothing but conscious thoughts between us two.

“Clivent Bane I know nothing about you besides that you referred to yourself as the Runt.” Yes, a start.

“What’s a... Runt?” I ask, 'New' this is new.

“A Runt is the weakest in a litter. A litter is a group, in this case maybe a group of puppies. A pup is a small four-legged animal in its infancy, the animal being a dog. Infancy is the starting stage of life. A life is worth living no one truly knows why.” The voice knows everything.

“So, I am Clivent Bane the Runt. I don't feel like a runt.” Yes, I don't feel anything.

“You sure? Think about it, what do you feel?” The voice seemed as unsure as I. 'But the voice was supposed to know everything.'

”Oh, sorry to disappoint, I know Nothing.”

“Oh,” I copy the voice. The voice knows.

“Oh, indeed” There it is, and there it went laughing again.

I feel lost. Who am I? What am I? Where am I?

“You know the answer. Think long and hard, there's no rush.” Such a nice voice.

To wait in darkness. Darkness. 'Clivent Bane, that’s me. I don’t have any legs so how can I be a dog? I don’t have anything, just a pitch. Wait, I have the voice! I never asked for its name. No, where did the voice go!? Please come back!'

Pitch, pitch, and more pitch, What is darkness? There can be no darkness without light. What is light? Color? Yes, that’s right. Colors like green grass, yellow like the sun, I lived in the land of white snow. Cold snow it’s white like a blank slate. A blank slate? Freshly fallen snow, it's not cold until you notice that you're no longer warm.'

"I'm warm and I'll survive the snow." A thought became a reality of its own.

From darkness in a blinding flash came green grass and the sun to shine down on the infinite grassy plane. There was so much sunlight, but I couldn’t see my four legs. I was just a conscience on a field of grass with no end. I went forward onto the plane not searching for an end but to find my voice. The voice that would tell me more about myself.

The sun was nice, it was vibrant, and nourishing, a light illuminating the darkness. And then as if having a falling out with the warmth, I had made up my mind.

"This isn't enough" Onward I went floating along the green grass. I was tired of the sun and its warmth, the colors of yellow below, and the cloudless blue sky above. “I’m running out of time.” I didn’t know why but this couldn’t go on for long.

“It had to stop. I can’t bear being here any longer.” The sun was hot beaming down on the brown and dying grass. "Where’s the snow?" At my question of urgency, snow fell on cue.

A speck of snow fell near me. Close enough for Clivent Bane to see. 'How was it possible for a mind without a body to sneeze?'

I went walking in the snow. Inches became feet and the grass was buried under the snow.

Warmth. I felt warmth, I'm sure of it. There was steam. I could see steam. That meant the snow had to be falling on my body. It had to be from me. Where else could the steam come from? Cold had to come in contact with heat and the sun was nowhere to be spotted. The blue sky was covered with only dark clouds in sight. Onward I float into the dead of night. Barely could I see what was in front of me, with nothing but the snowfall from here on out.

'Where is it? Where am I?' hidden within a snowstorm I went on floating, a ball of steam with no body and one voice in mind. Just when I thought the snowstorm would never end, a miracle happened.

In the snow, a figure went jumping back and forth. Hopping and laughing without a care in the world. A pup played a game alone in joy.

'I can’t believe it! Is it a pup like me?' Approaching the pup, who I had assumed was just like me. I tried my best to speak but I was without a body. Without a body, I couldn't communicate because only bodies had mouths. Only pups had mouths. I wasn’t even a pup. I had nothing but a name.

In silence, I floated a ball of steam watching as the pup played in the snow. The sun was covered by the clouds in the sky. Dark were the clouds that showered the land in endless snow. So where did the light come from?

I could see the Pup as clear as day. He smiled in bliss. I was happy for the pup until It said this.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“Clivy come on out, you’ve been in the snow for far too long.” His words warmed me. I had been in the cold for " far too long", His words make me realize how unbearable this cold is turning out to be.

A fire had been lit inside of the Hollow. He was calling for me! I'm "Clivy", it has to be short for Clivent Bane! I can't describe this feeling coming over me. It gave me the strength to move forward into the light the Brown pup alone had created.

'I want to be in the light!' Faster, I float towards the pup who called for “Clivy." And I make it a couple of feet from the Brown pup. Finally, I found the voice, a voice that knew everything but claimed to know nothing.

As I began to feel the warmth of the lush light. The snow beneath my floating form caves in and something comes rushing and wabling out of my shadow. I stopped on my printless track, confused by the new addition, taken aback by the shadowy figure.

The figure came running from underneath me, once hidden underneath snow. Two unbalanced paws running in front of the other. I continued watching, that's all I could do. Float in watch as the Brown pup ahead bent down with his arms stretched wide open waiting for the other four-legged pup to come in for an embrace. "Four legs," The new addition has four legs, a pup has four legs but-

“My cute little puppy looks how cuddly and cute he is.” Pain. unending.

“IT HURTS!!!” A wail. I wail, but I have no mouth. My breath hits the air echoing throughout the snowy land. Hot tears turn to crimson steam in the cold air.

I shout seeing a white figure failing to blend with the snow around me. "I am the White, no more than the snow beneath. I have no paws or feet! How can I be a Pup?!" I was given form against the snow paling in comparison to my White. I can't be a Pup like the four-legged that ran in front. Why can't I be a Pup?

Why didn't I look like the voice that had warm Brown skin and, and black shoes? "Shoes," It has feet. Even Its hair has a stark contrast against the white snow. I have none of these things.

“WHY!?!” I shout into the unending sky. And the sky sends the shout right on back into the White from which it came.

The skies darken from here on out. Skies that make me question if a sun ever shined. But as long as the Brown one holds the Pup I am unable to forget that there was ever such a light to exist. I am forced to stare at a star I can never reach.

“Do you love the special Boy Clivy?” the voice speaks to the small Pup of four legs, a Pup held with care. A hold so delicate on something so frail. Eyes holding love and affection I’d never seen before.

'I want to be loved... a Boy?' But I can't be loved.

I didn’t exist, my voice went unheard, a White figure floating upon the lesser white snow. I was nothing to him even the snow had meaning to the boy as he rolled around in its cold embrace playing along with the Puppy. I on the other hand was undeserving of his attention, his unending affection.

A white figure watches as the Special Boy plays with Clivy the Pup for hours on end. Time has no concept in this land. Forever the two played in bliss with no plans. They went on playing. No words were spoken as Special Boy lifts the Pup kissing its forehead. The Boy runs left and right, and the puppy follows happily in his stead. And I wither from the sight. Steam rises from me becoming thicker and a red puddle forms underneath filling the pit from which the Four-legged Pup had crawled out from under.

The red puddle grows into a pond further tainting the white snow. And the boy and his Pup go on playing, ignoring me for an eternity.

I don't want to be Clivent Bane, a formless White Nothing. Noticed by no one, loved by no one, never to experience what it is like to be loved by the Boy who has everything.

I don't laugh or cry, whatever I feel gets pushed down until it bubbles and rises to ruin.

=====

"You're cruel." What was the use of trying to communicate when my thoughts would continue to go unheard?

Standing in the river of red, a river that wouldn’t even stick to my formlessness of stark white, only flow. Blood, beads like sweat against the unblemished white sack of envy.

The Boy went on playing with snow over his clothes. Basking in the puppy’s presence ignoring me. Taking his time to play in the white snow that wouldn’t be stained by my red, a red that didn’t exist to the boy and pup, to begin with.

The flowing red streaming down my white form slowed along with the falling snow, the playtime that almost lasted forever had stopped. The special boy finally stopped playing around in the bloodstained snow.

He picks up the puppy, waving it around in my face. He smiled. The boy looked around at the red rivers surrounding him and the pup's circle of snow. He smiled taking in the sight, putting the sleeping pup across his shoulder rocking it to sleep, whispering into its little ear.

“Clivy, you love me so much, who am I in this world without you? My little Runt. You and that cute little ear of yours, eyes that show wonder and love for no one but me. Thank you for loving me.” He was walking in a circle talking to himself or the sleeping pup. His voice held an innocence, a bliss so soft and uncaring to the world painted red outside of his snowy circle.

“Oh Hi, Clivent Bane, how long have you been there?” I sat holding what would be my legs if they weren't nonexistent, formless, and white.

The red steam flows once again, flowing endlessly from my form as snow falls. I kept watching, finding a breath that wasn’t there before escaping in relief.

“You’re cruel,” I speak in defeat, somehow forming words without a mouth.

“To whom?” he asks in brown wide-eyed confusion. An expression that sent chills through my entire being, whatever that being was. He pretends to be clueless when those eyes see nothing. He is cruel “TOoOOoo me!” I shout, my voice wavers from the torture, and sounds of the previous pitch.

“Clivent Bane how can I be cruel to Nothing, no one, not someone.” I sat in silence in the river of red of my creation.

“A meaningless life in your words. A life that you willingly gave away to a stranger.” Silence prevailed, in the land of dark red clouds, and its endless ocean of blood.

“You're not a stranger, I know you.” I stopped trying to think of the name at the edge of my mind. It had meaning.

“No, it doesn’t. Not to you. Even if you know a fraction of my name it is disrespected when uttered by your mouth. How can a nothing, a no one, acknowledge existence? How can a No-one like Clivent Bane acknowledge my existence? I am a stranger to Clivent Bane. He cries and lies saying I'm more when all he ever does is reduce me to what he considers himself.” The crimson steam leaving my body had lessened as I listened.

“I'm sorry!” I thought unable to speak. I was undeserving of his words of hidden anger, his spite.

“I try not to be disappointed. Clivent Bane, to be disappointed is to expect something in the first place. I try my very best to not walk over your delusion but I can only put up with so much. Luckily for you, I am a Special boy, so I'll ask again, for the last time. Clivent Bane, why should I allow you to accept this so-called Oath? What will you give to me in return? Why do you cling to me, "a stranger", a stranger whose name you don’t even know? Can I even be considered a stranger as a child?”

The snow and red stream had stopped simultaneously. This was everything. My answer would decide everything. Clivent Bane had everything to lose.

“I'm sorry.” It was the only thing I could say.

“Don’t be sorry Clivy has everything you could ever want. Everything you’ll probably never have.” I was still jealous of the pup still sleeping in the boy's unblemished hands.

“If you're so jealous here you can have him, he means nothing to me. I just really pitied the little Runt. Be careful with him, he's fragile and all tuckered out.” He was giving the pup to me???

“Ooh you don’t even have hands, no biggie,” he said. Snapping his left hand my white formless mass contorted to form arms and hands still contrasting with everything else around me.

“I’ll fix the Runt up as good as new for you. It's up to you Clivent Bane to care for him after that.” Snapping his left hand again, the pup's severed right ear grew back, his rib cage that could be seen through his rugged fur turned round and plump, and the fur became thicker and took on a beautiful brown sheen.

“Now he’s all yours Clivent Bane take care of him. In a way this pup is everything. Remember taking care of a puppy isn’t as easy as it may seem.”

He walked slowly from the snow making a seamless transition to the red river of my making. Walking slowly across my river of blood, he placed the pup into my hands which were overwhelmingly huge compared to his tiny brown.

The Pup wasn't heavy in the slightest. I thought that I'd been deceived. But feeling for the weight I thought would come, memories came flooding back and Adonin’s words became a sledgehammer to my formless White of two hands and the arms to go with. I couldn’t drop the puppy; my hands wouldn’t budge with my memories returned I had a profound realization.

'I am holding on for dear life. My dearest life.'

“Clivent I think it’s time we get on with the show. I want my answers now.” The Boy smiled as oceans to rivers of blood were reflected in his dark hazel eyes.

A reflection of whatever I'd become was shown in its depth. The white blob the Pup sat atop, the small four-legged brown pup and its splotchy pelt was the only thing that gave me any significance against the tainted snow.

“You are not a monster Clivent Bane, you are "Nothing" That’s what you said right? Now choose your next words carefully.” He smirked looking deep into me. He saw more than I ever could. Or more precisely he could see what I couldn't.

“My life means nothing to me, that's what I said before that was my mistake. I understand now as I did then that my life is all I have. I forgot no, I didn’t forget. I ignored the fact. It i own lone possession. It's everything that I have.” He didn’t blink not once ignoring the red droplets coming from my white form like beads of sweat.

“I give my life to you, a stranger. I don’t want to be at your mercy, nor do I want to be in your thrall but here I am. Pathetic yes, I know that I am pathetic. I'm sorry that you of all people may see me that way. I always tried, to hide the fact, that I was born like this, that I was living a pathetic life, and that I was going to die a pathetic death, sooner rather than later. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't overcome my weaknesses. I used my skills as crutches until I met you. The boy who fell from the sky. I didn’t care or know that you were my Life’s Line when you fell from the sky. I just hoped and thought you could provide me with a new beginning. I’ve lived all these years and I never was able to save myself or live for myself. I tried, I promise! I know how desperate and pathetic, I sound. I'm sorry! Please don’t leave me! I would rather go back into the darkness and forget again. I want to be with you!”

The pain was unending and there was no chance of me finding the wound. I was still without a body so how could I ever be healed? So, I tried to cry and let out what weighed me down. If only I had a face.

“It’s not enough it’ll never be enough Clivent Bane and here you are still trying to give me your life. Have you ever envied someone for having a family? I know that you have. So go start one. Why still cling to me? I restored your body. And you've helped me as much as you can, you can leave Adena to her own dying devices. She’ll probably be fine.”

“No!” I shouted he can’t throw me away. I won't allow it! I can be better!

“Clivent Bane, Mr. Clivey, Clivy, little doggy, little pup, the Runt What do you know of me?” He asks. Adonin asks instead of being direct. He asks as if he's unknowing but he knows he's always known and that in itself is- “You..you are cruel.” Cruel to the word, and without reason.

“Oh, very much so, you haven’t even begun to understand the extent of my cruelty.” The child's eyes stare at me and I'm subject to the unfeeling.

“Are you a masochist, Clivent Bane?”

“No, you can be cruel, but you can also be caring to those who deserve it. You protect those which you love, and you love Adena and your parent, your own words you never lie to me.”

“What makes you think that you are worthy of this so-called love and affection? I’ve only treated you like a pet. I was never allowed a pet. Looking back on that, it was a good decision on my parent's part.”

“I'm not worthy of Adonin but I won't stop trying to be. If you would have me.”

“Hmmm, I've got a lot on my plate. I'm not too fond of picking up strays. You pick up one, you'll have to pick up another.” He looked around bored with the land of blood and crimson skies.

“I don't want to be a pet. I’m a beast man. I want to mean more to you than something you can just give away like this puppy.”

“Not too bright, are you? That’s not just any puppy Clivent Bane. You are Classing up. The little Pup on your palms is you.” Snapping his left hand, the pup turned into the Runt from my first class up. The transformation looked most painful, going from pup to Wolf child. Thankfully, the child was asleep it wouldn't get to feel its limbs lengthen and fur thicken. Only screams of agony would come from twisting the pup's skin and bones. Haven't I had enough?

Though the Puppies growing into a wolfchild looked painful, the transition happened in an instant. A Wolf child lay sleeping in my hands carefree, blissfully unaware of the bloodshed.

The child was me only he looked healthy and cared for, never a meal missed, and he'd had his hugs and a kiss. Sound asleep he smiled in my hands dreaming of things I could only imagine.

“Such a sight. I can see that you care for the wolf child. Right?” He still hadn’t blinked, it made him seem inhuman why hadn't I given more attention to that? The Depth was ever closer now that I'd lived through it, I won't go back. The Pup would never understand the strangulation of forgetting one's existence only for it to be dangled in front of you like a worm on a hook.

A worm on the hook. “Jealous, I’m glad to see one of us is happy. If I had a face I'd have longed to be in your position." I can accept it, the snow, the rivers, the Runt, but him-

“By the way, why are you here? How are you here!? You’re not even real, are you!?” Memories had been restored and maybe that meant my Trial was coming to an end, an endless nightmare. How was Adonin even here?

“What do you think? Little doggy.” He responds to my thoughts just like the original but how, It has to be my imagination, a conjuration of the trial. Where was the Line when I needed it?

I look into those eyes to find some truth and the truth is what I find. The pitch no longer shakes me, but his presence here is what I should fear. “How!?” Bewildered and scared, he shouldn’t be here. No one is allowed here, in a space that doesn't exist, in my trial. The Administrators can't even get here without permission. This is sacred ground, a place attached to the soul. I scramble to find answers, and the cycle continues because I'm still lost.

“So now you're scared of me, intruding on your Class up Clivent you should be scared of what's to come. I recall your conversation with Adena about how a man shouldn’t depend on others to survive. A lone Human either dies or adapts most of the time becoming a Monster.” Adonin tapped his chin thinking about what to say next. My intuition told me he had something already in mind.

To look as if nothing is on his mind but there's always something. He never rests, even when he wants you to think otherwise.

“You cry rivers of blood, but will you bleed for me? Will you draw blood for me? You say that you’ll give up youentirere life for me. I tell you to live for me instead. Clivent Bane, I'll turn you into a monster. I do not need a weak and useless Wolfman. Are you willing to become my little monster?”

I didn’t want to question how he knew about me and the girl's private conversation. I know that he's not the girl even when the line misleads. Thats it!? He must've come by when I was unconscious. That’s the only explanation.

“What do you mean by becoming your monster?” What's wrong with him? This isn’t the Adonin I know. I don't know him, but why doesn't that stop me?

“Well, your life isn’t enough. I hate repeating myself. Especially to you. You were so ready to give your life to me, it’s funny really. My deal to you is that I will allow you to take my oath on the condition that you become my monster. How about it? You were going to give me your life anyway, here I am warning you. From one stranger to another."

Taking in the child's proposal. “Will you love me and care for me unlike any other, will I be yours.” It's all I could ever want.

“That's not in the Oath, Clivy. This is starting to bore me. Let’s get the show on the road. I know of you, it's you who do not know of me.” That's impossible.

“No, it’s the truth, you're an open book. Carrying on, here’s my proposition: you can continue classing up normally just wake little Clivent and he’ll take care of the rest but know that my Oath will forever be off the table, and you will forget ever meeting me or Adena it’ll be like we never met. You even get to keep your good health. I’ve been handling that little bond problem for a while now. No interference.” What did he mean by that? I still felt the same.

“The second option is to take the Oath. It’ll be the worst thing you've ever experienced but whatever it's your choice to make, not mine. You’ll most likely do worse in the future if you accept the Oath. Ok, I've said my peace, good luck. Until we meet again, little wolf.”

He dived into the thick river of blood. I wanted to pull him out, but I couldn’t move. My form hadn’t returned to normal. I was still a white mass with even more massive arms and hands.

Looking down at the river of blood where Adonin had jumped in. The river started bubbling in that one spot only to reveal his little head covered in blood. His helmet of hair fell like a mop when it came in contact with the red liquid.

“Almost forgot to give you a mouth.” He smiled, waved his hand out of the water and my white formless body was given a mouth and sharp teeth to go along with my huge white arms.

I stood on top of a river of blood holding up the part of me I was always hiding from the world. Looking at the small Wolf child in my hands I spoke my peace. “You’re not much, but you're all I have. I see that now. You're not just a part of me, you're every part of me.”

Adonin didn't care but I knew well not to think the boy careless.

As he sank back under the red river of blood, letting. It froze over and I had to remind myself that none of this was real.

It was a waking nightmare. Adonin’s presence somehow dwarfed the reality of this place. I was standing on a frozen river of blood with only a hill of stained white snow as scenery.

The sun was no longer in sight leaving me to wonder how I could see the red clouds up above. 'Shouldn't the dark clouds above shroud everything, why could I see this place so clearly.'

As I was now holding my past self, a vision of innocence. I could feel the resolve. What it took to become what he wanted. And though I could think about denying myself, of the desire. To join him. I found myself with one choice. If I were to accept Adonin’s {Oath} again, would I become this monster?

Am I this? A white mass with two arms and a maw.

"This is happening, this is real. A Trial, this is my Trial and I'm going to class up."