The thundering footsteps rushed by the window that Timothy had just clambered through- giving the vague impression of a stampede going down the street. There was a sense of relief that filled the boy as he slowly stood to his feet, but he couldn’t help but notice that the hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end. Typically, when he read about this happening in the few books he managed to find beneath unbalanced shelves, that meant that something bad was about to happen. So, he did what he thought was best and he slowly turned around and extended his hand.
“Hello, my name is Timothy, what’s yours?” He spoke politely to the figure that he assumed was there- he couldn’t tell because his eyes were too afraid to be open.
“What in tarnation is a scraper like you doing here?” A familiar voice rang out.
Perhaps the slight recognition of the sound was enough to make Timothy open his eyes to see that indeed he did know the individual standing before him. The spiraling helmet of Mulq greeted him with just enough distance to see the frown on her blue face from behind the tinted visor. “Oh, hello again!” He replied, putting his hand back down. “It’s nice to see you! Oh, well, I hope it is. Last time we met you sort of accused me of murder, but the first time we met you saved my life, so I suppose it all evens out in the end.”
Mulq tilted her head, which seemed difficult due to the mass of her helmet. “Speaking of which, ain’t you supposed to be in jail or something?”
Timothy was aware that when one escapes from prison, it is tradition to not loudly declare that you have done so. This course of action tends to lead one to be placed back into said prison, which was the opposite direction that he wished to be going. The voice of Alex echoed in his head with instructions and pleas beckoning him to lie his way out of this situation. But the truth was Timothy was an awful liar and his poker face was as easy to read as a billboard. So, by process of elimination, the best thing for him to do was simply tell the truth.
“Yes, but I escaped!” He put simply. “Would you please not tell anyone, it’s really important!”
Mulq’s mouth opened a bit to speak but it was like it took her a moment to compute what was said. Suddenly she started to chuckle, which then led Timothy to begin to laugh as well. He had no idea why he was doing this, but it seemed rude not to join in. The chorus of chortles stopped abruptly as the woman started to cough, her lungs not used to such joyful noises.
“You know, you’re alright kid!” She cried in between the heaves of her chest. “So, what really happened? Did those friends of yours actually get you off the hook somehow?”
“Not yet.” Replied Timothy with a shake of his head. “Though I’m sure they’re still working on it, which is the problem really! Mr. Ham said that if I don’t confess, he’s going to accept Alex’s duel, and I need to warn him!”
“Alex?” Mulq echoed. “Is that the green one?”
“No, the one with half a tie.” He corrected. “I’m just so worried about him. Here he is trying to save me, and it might kill him! I can’t let that happen! He can’t throw his life away wasting it on me.”
“Half a tie you say?” The woman asked, having not listened to anything else. “Sounds like you lot need a new wardrobe.”
Timothy was puzzled but he nodded anyway. “I guess we do, but we haven’t really had the time to worry about that sort of thing, we’ve been… busy.”
“Well do I got a solution for you!” Mulq said, looking down to where some sort of timekeeper was located on her wrist. “1… 2… 3!”
With an electric spark flying out from a poorly hidden wire, the lights in the building switched on. Timothy was surprised to see that he was now standing in some sort of strange clothing store. Like always, the room was small but with it being so absolutely packed with merchandise it was hard to tell. Mannequins lined the walls, as well as the floor, dressed in strange and dangerous-looking attire. Armor pieces of all sorts were packed on shelves, along with several small weapons and gizmos that looked like they were designed with the sole purpose of causing pain. Up on the wall, a sign read ‘deluxe hidden blades,’ which immediately made the boy cautious of where he stepped.
“Like what ya see?” Asked Mulq looking proud of her store. “I’ve got everything in here. Need a hidden sleeve blade? I got ya. Need a poison dart ejector collar? I got ya. Need a glove that melts solid steel? I got ya, but I will warn you that it’s best not to wear it on your hand- it ain’t exactly melting-proof on the inside.”
Timothy didn’t know how to feel as he took it all in. Normally he’d be happy to see so many new things, but it wasn’t the case this time. He reached up and rubbed his neck as he spotted a leather armor set with a very familiar-looking spike on the shoulder. Everything in this store seemed to be made to hurt someone, which was a thing he couldn’t quite get behind.
“This is nice!” He said, his need to be polite overruling his urge not to lie. “It’s very… sharp.”
Mulq strolled over to some of her merchandise, her helmet bobbing on her neck from side to side. “From the looks of your friends, you need the whole shebang! Where’d you like to start?”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Timothy replied, looking back anxiously at the busted-out window. “I really should be going.”
This didn’t seem to make Mulq very happy. Her hands reached to her hips as her face scowled at the thought of losing a sale. “You ain’t that much of a scraper, are you?” She croaked. “A big shiny credit chip in your pocket and you ain’t gonna spend a single cred?”
Timothy looked down at his pocket, seeing the credit chip that he picked up earlier just barely poking out. “Sorry, but I don’t think I have the time. I need to warn Alex about…”
“It would be a downright shame if someone went and told Mr. Ham that his prisoner was out of his cage, now, wouldn’t it?” Mulq smiled coyly.
“That would be really bad.” Admitted Timothy. “Anyway, I need to be going now. Should I use the window again or the door?”
“Now, say, you decided to peruse my wares and maybe pick up a thing or two, maybe then there would be less of a chance for that to happen?” The woman said, moving closer.
The boy thought for a moment. “Not to be rude but I don’t see how that would change anything.” He moved to the window. “I’ll just go out the way I came.”
“Zeptos on a highwire, do I need to spell this out for you?” Mulq indignantly cried.
“Spell what out?” Timothy blinked. “Zeptos? Well, I suppose I have no idea how to spell that.”
Mulq stormed over to the boy and grabbed him by his shoulders. “If you don’t buy something from me, I’m gonna report you to Mr. Ham, got it?” She breathed out deeply, frustration taking hold. “You won’t be able to warn your little half-tied friend from a prison cell, you know!”
Timothy looked surprised, and honestly a little hurt. “Why would you do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” She answered with a shrug. “Business ain’t been too good for me and I’ve been in dire need of a customer or two. So what if he’s a murderer on the run? Ain’t my job to be picky.”
“I’m not a murderer!” Pleaded the boy, clasping his hands together. “Please, you have to believe me, I didn’t shoot that poor man!”
“Hey, I don’t care if you did or not!” Mulq cried. “Corpus was a scraper anyway; it wasn’t like he had any pals besides from Shot-Barrel John-John and that Novan guy. He certainly wasn’t a regular of mine, so it ain’t no skin off my back.”
“If I buy something from you, you promise not to call Mr. Ham?” Timothy asked, a frown covering his face.
“Cross my heart.” Replied Mulq, strangely reaching down and making an x over her stomach instead of her chest. “Just come look at everything and buy some shit, ain’t like it’s gonna kill you or something.” At that moment a blaster decided to slip from its overcrowded shelf, landing on its trigger and firing a yellow beam of energy straight into the ceiling. “Well, most things won’t kill you.”
Looking to the window, Timothy wondered if he should make a break for it. But reason told him that the woman before him wasn’t lying about her threats, and even if he made it down the street there was a chance he could run into someone else that was willing to report him. He glanced along the shop, shuddering at all the strange and unpleasant things poking out and swinging from hooks on the ceiling. If he wanted to save Alex, he needed to appease Mulq.
Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.
“Now seems like a really bad time for a shopping trip, but I’ll do as you ask.” He said, his heart sinking as the shopkeeper led him away from the window and deeper into the store.
Timothy couldn’t have prepared himself for the tour that he was about to take, and if he did, he would’ve reconsidered his decision to escape from the holding cells. He wasn’t expecting Mulq to show him every single item in her store and explain in great detail what its function was, but that was what happened. Every piece of armor, every hidden blade, and every single weapon was presented to him like an inventor showing off a new product. Half the words she used he barely understood, and the other half were so specific that he attempted to tune them out just to save himself the boredom. Just when he thought the tour was over, Mulq lead him over to the other side of the store. He could’ve sworn that they had already been there, but he couldn’t get a word in inch-wise to state his complaint.
Holding up a long, black coat covered in small nearly unnoticeable spikes, Mulq began her spiel. “You see here, this baby is a Vector 02 original! It comes equipped with your basic blaster defense lining, along with heavy-duty protection around the cuffs for those dodgy bullet catchers out there! And if ya looks closely you can see what looks like little bitty hairs sticking out from the back and sleeves. Those are what we call Stickers! One slap with those and you’ll be bleedin’ like no one’s business!”
Timothy faked a smile, stepping a few feet back. “Wow, that sounds so… painful.”
“It wouldn’t be worth your money if it wasn’t!” Mulq said, slapping the boy on the back. “Now, let's go look at the Plasma Boots.”
“Actually,” Timothy interjected, raising his hand politely. “I’d like to see the ties, please.”
Mulq’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“My friend Alex is missing most of his tie.” He explained. “He could use a new one!”
The shopkeeper looked all around the room, very confused. “With all this stuff you want to buy a tie?”
The boy nodded. “Well, Alex seems to like his tie, he didn’t even take it off when it got cut in half. So, I think he’d like a replacement if that isn’t too much trouble.”
With a huff, Mulq idly scanned the room. Of all the clothing options she had stocked, it would appear that she hadn’t considered a simple tie to be worthy of inclusion. Instead of just saying no, however, she viewed this as a sort of challenge. Almost angrily she walked to where a pile of loose objects was thrown in the corner and started to dig into it with her bare hands. Timothy had to dodge several flying hats and loose hidden sleeve blades as the shopkeeper tossed them unthinkingly behind her as she worked. Finally, she let out a loud gasp as she retrieved what looked like a normal coat hanger from the rubble. “This work?”
In Mulq’s hand was a dark suit and pants strung lazily over a metal hanger. At first, the color only appeared to be jet black, but once you looked at it for a moment, hints of red began to pop out. A necktie of the same strange color was curled around the top of the hanger and hovered over a plain grey shirt. Timothy looked pleased.
“I’ll take that!” He said with a little clap. “Now, is it alright if I go?”
There was a firm head shake, “oh no, I ain’t done with you yet!”
Timothy watched as Mulq shoved the suit and tie inside a large shopping bag with the words ‘deluxe hidden blades’ written on the side. He was quick to make sure he wasn’t in for another hours-long rant. “Well, then I suppose I can take that jacket then.”
“The one with the Stickers?” Mulq said, her eyes lighting up from beneath her massive helmet.
“No, that green one over there.” Timothy pointed towards a hook that hung from the ceiling that was barely holding an assortment of items together.
Mulq walked over and plucked the green jacket out from under the rest with ease. She held it up to inspect it, wondering what the reason behind such a choice was. The coat looked like a regular jacket besides there being a clear place to hold a gun on a loop at its side. Also of note was the long sleeves that seemed to stretch slightly too far down. Timothy didn’t mind this though, he just thought that Sophia might appreciate it being green.
“You sure?” Asked the shopkeeper. “There’s much better options, ya know? Over here we have…”
“It’s perfect!” Timothy interrupted. “I’d like to buy it.”
With a shrug, Mulq tossed the jacket into the shopping bag. It only took a look from her to know that she still wasn’t satisfied. With another sigh, Timothy looked around the room, desperately searching for something that looked normal and relatively not deadly. He spotted it out of the corner of his eye hanging from a shelf that was leaning near the point of collapse on the wall.
“Those spectacles would be nice.” He said with a nod.
Following his eyes, Mulq snatched a pair of goggles with her hand. They had large round eyes the size of tea saucers attached to a grey strap that looked like it had seen better days. As the lenses glinted in the light of the store, there appeared to be some strange discoloration to them as they shifted in the air.
“Really?” Mulq couldn’t help but say. “This is what you want?”
Timothy smiled pleasantly. “Yes, I think that will be all.”
With a weird look in her eyes, akin to that of slight disappointment, Mulq shoved the goggles in the back with the rest of the items. Then with the grace of a legless gazelle, she moved to where a counter was surprisingly located. I say ‘surprisingly,’ because, before she threw the garbage that had piled up on top of it, no one would have been able to see that it was there. Grabbing some sort of scanner, she held out her hand to the boy. Getting the message, Timothy slowly handed her the credit chip, feeling a sense of guilt as he did so. It was like he was stealing money from someone, even though the chip did technically belong to him.
“Now if we add in the Common Ware package, and total all your items, we can see what you owe,” Mulq said, waving the scanner over the chip.
“Common Ware package?” Timothy repeated with a raise of his eyebrows.
“It adds traditional clothing to go with your deluxe items.” She replied, looking the boy up and down. “From the looks of you and your friends, you need it.”
The scanner in her hand beeped and a smile spread along her face. “Well, what do you know! You owe me the exact amount of credit you currently have!”
“Really? How unlikely!” Timothy bemused, not catching on in the slightest. “Though I suppose I won’t be able to get WaldAcker that drink now.”
From beneath her helmet, Mulq gave him an idle stare as she tossed the Common Ware package into the bag. Weirdly, when someone is so easy to scam it takes the joy out of the deed, although that didn’t stop her from charging him nearly three times what the merchandise was actually worth. “You know you’re a bit slow, right?”
Timothy nodded, “I get that a lot.”
With a frown, Mulq tossed the bag over to her customer who caught it with some difficulty. “Thanks for the purchase.” She said, though her voice was tipped in bitterness. “Come again.”
Before he left, Timothy looked at the door and then at the window. “Which should I use?”
“I don’t care.” The shopkeeper replied with a shrug. “Take the window, seeing how some robber decided to take the time to make it for me.”
The boy looked surprised, a worried expression jumping onto his face. “Oh dear, you were robbed?”
“Yeah, but it ain’t like it’s unusual. People around here get stuff stolen all the time, it’s a rite of passage so to speak.”
“Did you catch whoever did it?” Said Timothy, clutching his bag to his chest.
“Nope, the scraper got in when I was out.” Mulq tried not to show it, but it was clear even through her helmet that this had made her angry. “To think they had all my wares to choose from and all they took was a single grubby grenade.”
“That’s strange.” Replied the boy, headed towards the window. “Well, I hope you can repair your window! You’re not going to report me now, right?”
Mulq simply reached down and crossed her stomach again, “I promise.”
Carefully, Timothy reached out his leg and stepped through the broken glass. He breathed a deep sigh, finally finding himself free. Worriedly he eyed the street up and down, but thankfully no one was around to notice him. Without missing another beat, he quickly started to run, hoping that Mr. Ham hadn’t noticed that he was gone in the time he had been away. With a little luck, he would be able to find his friends and warn them about what was coming.
Soon he saw the familiar sign of ‘The Candid Cantina.’ Strangely, the building didn’t seem to have any lights on, perhaps they were closed? Grabbing the door handle, he found that it opened, and he let himself inside. At first, the bar was silent, but as he stepped further forward, he heard a click right as the lights went on. To his delight, he saw that his friends were all gathered together in a booth before him, and he wasted no time getting to why he was there.
“Alex!” He shouted as he waved his arms. “Alex you’ve got to get out of here! He’s going to kill you!”
From over in his seat, he heard Neil exclaim, “I just had to go and open my big dumb mouth, didn’t I!”
…
Vander Extemorst had waited a long time for Mr. Ham to arrive at the scene and his annoyance was made known quickly. “What took you so damn long?” He barked, his oily arms crossing as he puffed out his chest. “I thought we paid you extra for your conciseness.”
The behemoth didn’t seem pleased by these remarks, though he only replied with, “t-plate was recharging.”
“That’s always the excuse,” he groaned. “Well, now since you’re here, can’t you do something about this?”
Mr. Ham took in the trashed casino before eyeing the businessman oddly. “What?”
“I want you to arrest whoever did this, or kill them, doesn’t matter to me,” Vander said with a wave of his hand. “Just deal with it.”
“Who?” The hulking pig man repeated.
“Well, I don’t know! Can’t you figure that out?” Came the indignant reply. “Aren’t you supposed to be the police or something? Isn’t that what you do?”
From behind the two, ARI rolled forward. “Sir, you have a call on the business line, it is important.”
“The business line? I thought I told you to put all my calls through my personal teledevice, I so hate having to walk all those stairs to my office.” Moaned Vander with a disgusted stare. “Just give it to me here.”
“Sir, I think that may be unwise,” ARI warned.
Vander’s eyes flared. “Well, it’s a good thing that I don’t pay you to think, now isn’t it?”
“Of course, Sir, my apologizes.” The robot said, lowing its head. “But you should know that your father is on the line.”
At the mention of the word ‘father,’ Vander’s face went dark. It was as if a cloud had rolled in overhead and blotted out his face. “I’ll take it immediately.” He said as he darted to the stairs, not even bothering to say goodbye to the man he had just summoned.
Mr. Ham grunted, shaking his head. Slowly, he turned and approached the door, but he was stopped by ARI. “You also have a call, Fortune-Seeker!” The machine declared. “It’s from someone named Mulq, apparently one of your prisoners has escaped confinement!”