Novels2Search
IMPROBABLE NONSENSE
2. I Have No Idea What's Happening and the Pamphlet Left a lot of Gaps

2. I Have No Idea What's Happening and the Pamphlet Left a lot of Gaps

Neil watched as the new guy spilt his guts all over the floor, he wasn’t surprised, but he was a bit disgusted. Sure, it happened to him when he had first arrived as well, but he hadn’t quite built up an immunity to it yet.

“Oh, dear.” The new guy said, wiping his mouth with disdain for his own guttural actions. “I’m so, so sorry! I don’t know what came over me!”

“It’s alright.” Neil replied as he walked over to a large metal cabinet and pulled a towel out of it. “At least you didn’t toss up an organ, I always thought that might happen.”

“Neil! That isn’t a great way to make an introduction.” Alex scolded as Neil bent down to do his best at cleaning the poor, victimized floor.

“I’m just saying, we’ve all been through it, it may have happened to any one of us if we weren’t lucky.”

Sophia rolled her eyes, “Well, it didn’t happen, so no need to bring it up anymore. The thought gives me shivers.”

Timothy blinked slowly as he looked around the room. It only occurred to him now that he wasn’t actually in his attic anymore- which he came to realize was impossible by all the basic laws of reality. Timothy knew that usually when one wants to go somewhere they walk or use some other form of transportation which 8 times out of 10 involve some sort of wheels- which he certainly hadn’t used. “Sorry, I hate to pry but I’m rather confused about where I am, why I’m here, and who you are?” Only when he started speaking did he realize that his mouth tasted rancid, and he tried his best to hide the fact he almost threw up again.

“Oh yes, the questions!” Exclaimed Neil. “Does anyone have the pamphlet?”

Alex raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were supposed to have it!”

“No, I have it!” Sophia reached into her back pocket and handed it over to the new kid. “That should clear some of the immediate questions up.”

In his hands, Timothy held a laminated piece of paper with what appeared to be some sort of list written in a strange language. “I’m sorry, but I can’t read this.”

“It’s upside down.” Sophia corrected.

Timothy flipped the paper over and suddenly the words became much clearer. “Ah.” He said cheerily.

Hello new person, it is reasonable that you have a lot of questions right now and are likely in a state of panic and or stress. But no need to worry, you are in no immediate harm! Well, as far as we know, you never know when something might come up… Safety is a state of mind that kills more often than it saves so living with the assumption that danger is everywhere is technically the safest way to function… Anyways, below are some questions that you likely have and attached are some nifty answers! Please enjoy, and if you happen to be violent, please state so immediately so that we can defend ourselves accordingly.

Where am I? You are on the Lavender 1!

What is the Lavender 1? It’s a highly advanced and probably alien ship!

How did I get here? Like us, you touched the spinning triangle thing and got zapped here by the unspeakable power of technology!

How does that work? We have no idea; we are just as confused as you are!

Why am I here? See the previous answer.

Who are you? Here you’ll probably look up at us which will be our cue to introduce ourselves.

Timothy looked up from his paper and just like it said the three stood straighter and readied themselves.

“Hello! I’m Alex!” He declared happily as he moved his body into a dramatic pose with a flourish.

The first thing that Timothy noticed about Alex was that he was very well put together, at least compared to everyone else in the room. He wore a plain buttoned shirt with a tie that was perfectly centered around the collar. He had dark brown skin and wore a pair of sleek glasses that sat neatly on the tip of his nose. Looking over his shoulder, Alex gestured for his friends to continue.

“Hello! I am Neil!” He chimed after an awkward moment. He also did the same dramatic pose that Alex had done but with notably less gusto.

Neil was only slightly shorter than Timothy but the long coat he was wearing somehow made him appear smaller than he actually was. It was an ugly grey thing with holes and tatters, and it had to be at least two times too big for him. His hair was short, brown, and curly with the left side of his head being buzzed clean- it wasn’t a stylistic choice but rather one made after a rogue piece of gum had escaped his grip. Again, Alex looked over and made a frantic gesture.

“Sophia.” She said as she stood still and looked on- much to Alex’s dismay.

The most striking thing about Sophia was that she was wearing entirely green clothes. From her shoes to her comfy-looking sweater, she was covered in the same grass/leaf/fungus-like color- this time it was entirely out of stylistic choice. She had long red hair that curled around to her ears and was also wearing an expression of slight annoyance. “Are you sure this is the best way to say hello to someone?”

“Aw, come on!” Alex declared, breaking the pose. “We had it all planned!”

“It’s a bit silly, isn’t it?”

“I mean, yeah, but still… we had a plan!”

“Speaking of the plan, we’re not done!” Neil chimed in. “New guy still needs to introduce himself too!”

The three turned to Timothy and stared at him intently which made him very uncomfortable. Not sure what to do, he quickly tried to mimic the dramatic pose and ended up doing a pretty decent copy. “H-hello,” he said awkwardly. “My name is… Timothy.”

The three nodded awkwardly. “Nice to meet you, Timothy!” Alex responded, almost robotically.

“Hmm, we can’t be too sure, he took a while to respond there.” Neil said as he got in close with Timothy, his eyes looking him up and down like a drug dealer looking for a wire. “He could be some sort of spy or something!”

“Why would he be a spy, Neil?” Sophia asked pulling Neil back by the end of his big coat. “You’re being paranoid again.”

“I’m not paranoid, I’m just being skeptical!” Neil glanced back at Timothy and shrugged. “But you’re probably right, he isn’t a spy… probably.”

“Okay, everyone calm down!” Alex said putting out his hands in a soothing gesture that only seemed to work on himself. “Timothy, I know this is a lot to take it and it’s pretty overwhelming- trust me I’ve been there! Do you need anything, like maybe a glass of water or a Band-Aid? Oh god, you really do need a Band-Aid, don’t you? Actually, you probably need some actual bandages!”

“Oh wow!” Neil exclaimed, realizing the same thing as Alex. “You’d think we would’ve noticed that by now!”

“Noticed what?” Timothy asked, but he didn’t need to hear their response to get an answer.

His response was the warmth coming from the side of his head, followed by his knees giving out beneath him. Thankfully Sophia was quick enough on her feet to catch him in her arms before he toppled on his face again. Timothy was surprised that he had lost his balance, but now it was beginning to make more sense. He had assumed that the place he was in just happened to be blurrier than it was in the attic, and louder too. Quickly he pieced together that the pounding he was hearing wasn’t coming from his new location but rather from inside his own skull, which was a tad bit alarming.

“Let’s get him to the sick thing!” Sophia shouted as she began to pull Timothy by his arms out the door- his feet dragging along behind her.

“The sick bay?” Alex questioned.

“The whatever place has bandages room!”

Despite being barely conscious for the second time today, Timothy could make out through his drooping eyes that he was being pulled through a very long corridor. It looked like the halls of a hospital but instead of the nice and comforting plain white walls, it was what appeared to be black metal. Kinda like the triangle thing. Timothy thought to himself right before he passed out. Neat.

Sophia slammed the new guy on top of a table in what they all hoped was the medical bay. Quickly the three searched for bandages or anything else that might resemble something helpful. Neil got excited when he found a roll of something brown and paper-like and then preceded to deflate when he realized they were just paper towels.

“I found them!” Declared Alex holding his discovery aloft.

Sophia quickly snatched them away from him and began wrapping the bandages around the wound. The truth was that the poor girl had no idea what she was doing, though she did the best she could with the little knowledge she had. It didn’t look too bad when she finished, though Timothy’s head did vaguely resemble the beginnings of a bad Mummy cosplay. Her task complete, Sophia sat Timothy upright and hoped for the best.

“He’s probably gonna die,” Neil said from where he was sitting propped over a desk- despite there being a chair right next to him. “How did he even get that wound anyway?”

“Maybe in a fight or something.” Alex replied, helping himself to the free seat. “We know the Triangle comes randomly, maybe it caught him in the middle of something?”

“I doubt it.” Sophia claimed as she walked over to the paper towels and cleaned her hands. “I’m not a doctor or anything, but that injury doesn’t look like something you get in a fight.”

“Maybe something went wrong with the transfer? You always thought that something would go wrong with it, didn’t you Neil?”

Neil shrugged. “It could be that.”

“Maybe the Triangle hit him?” Sophia remarked with a smirk.

Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!

Alex laughed, “Wouldn’t that be funny! But I doubt it, it was probably something else.”

“Well, we can always just ask him when he wakes up.”

“If he wakes up.” Neil couldn’t help but add.

Timothy was unconscious, or at least he sure hoped he was, otherwise the complete and utter blackness surrounding him would mean that he had gone blind. He couldn’t feel his body, but he could tell that he was cold, he would shiver if he was physically able to. His first instinct was to try and wake up but that didn’t work so he resigned himself to thought. Oh gosh, I hope I’m not dead, that would be bad. Maybe I am dead… is this the afterlife? Oh… that’s a little disappointing if I’m being honest, I was hoping for some clouds and maybe a few golden sidewalks. But beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.

Normally when someone isn’t awake the only voice inside their head is their own, so it came to Timothy’s great surprise that he heard someone else’s. Helm… said a whisper in the dark.

Oh, hello, is someone there? Timothy asked inside his own head. Sorry, I didn’t realize that there was anyone else in here!

Helm…

Helm? No, no, my name’s Timothy!

Helm…

Oh, is that your name? Hello, Helm, nice to meet you!

Helmet…

Timothy was usually a very gracious person to all the new people he met, but something about this wispy voice in his head set off all the rusty alarm bells inside of him.

Who is this? How did you get inside my head?

Helmet. Said the voice, this time stronger and more demanding.

Now I don’t want to be rude but you’re making me uncomfortable, I’m going to ask you to please get out of my brain! I’m used to it being only me in here!

Helmet! The voice thundered!

Suddenly like someone had snapped their fingers Timothy woke up on the table. His head felt heavier, had he gained weight when he was out? No, he realized as he held a hand to his bandaged head, just a new hat. He looked around and realized he was in some sort of medical place; he knew that because there were a bunch of cabinets with a helpful red cross on them- not to mention the fact there was a sign over the door that read ‘med.’ He noticed that beside him sat the guy who had introduced himself as Neil.

Neil was slumped over in his chair breathing deeply as one tends to do when they’ve fallen asleep on the job. He had been put on guard duty, well he called it that, Sophia and Alex had told him to watch the new guy while they went to sleep but he felt it was close enough. The failure of a guard looked comically small sleeping in his large grey coat, but soon Timothy would become very envious of the raggedy thing.

He shivered now, finally able to move his body as he wanted. He wondered for a moment that he could see his own breath, but it wasn’t quite that cold. Timothy thought about waking up his new acquaintance but thought better of it when a sense of adventure came over him. Normally Timothy would follow the rules, sometimes even to his own detriment. One night Mr. Graham had told him to sit still until he called him, it wasn’t until the morning arrived that Timothy realized that he had been forgotten about. But right now, something urged him to do something mischievous and he found himself tiptoeing out the door.

The hallways were massive, they were like nothing he had ever seen before- to be fair he hadn’t really seen much to compare it to but still, it was pretty amazing. The corridor was massive, he reckoned a bus could fit sideways in here without any problems. The dark walls were lit softly by little lights on the floor, Timothy would’ve compared them to what it looked like at movie theaters but as mentioned before he’s never seen a movie.

He crept down the path feeling small in comparison to his surroundings. He passed a few rooms that had words in faded paint sprayed above the doorway, words like ‘Bed,’ ‘Store,’ and ‘Utilities.’ It was a little overwhelming, back at MGHUC there was barely even a kitchen or even a proper room for Timothy to stay in. I could fit a thousand attics in this place! Timothy reasoned using a unique unit of measurement.

But then he came to a set of two bulky-looking doors at the very end of the corridor. They looked tough and sturdy, like they were made to withstand a bomb or something. With the spirit of mischief still fresh in Timothy’s newly conscious system, he pushed through the doors to find something truly breathtaking.

He stood down on the precipice of a large glass dome, a room the size of a stadium. Around the edges of the bowl-shaped rooms were control panels with lights and wires glowing and sparking all over the place. Millions of buttons that did God knows what and enough levers to make a lever-enthusiast die instantly of happiness. But none of that caught Timothy’s eye, what he was looking at was what was outside the dome.

Endless dark nothing stared him in the face. It stretched out as far and as wide as he could see, it was haunting and yet it was beautiful. He didn’t even feel himself walking over to the glass or putting his face right up to it. “I’m…” He could barely breathe as he spoke to himself. “In space?”

But as soon as the words had left his lips, he got an unexpected surprise as a small fish passed by his view. It took him a second to compute it. “It’s a… space fish?” This sentence was followed by what clearly was a shark swooping in and eating the unfortunate fish in one giant bite. “Oh! I’m not in space, I’m… underwater?” He said with only the slightest disappointment about there not being a space-shark.

“Yep.” Said a voice from behind him.

Timothy spun around like a kid who had been caught with their hand in the candy jar. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I…” He stammered as Alex raised his hand to stop him.

“You apologize a lot.” He replied with a smile. “No need to, you didn’t break any rules or anything. Actually, there aren’t any rules now that I think about it, they didn’t leave any instructions- which you would think would be very helpful!”

Timothy nodded along as if he understood the words that Alex was saying when deep down, he was as lost as a deaf bat. “I’m going to be honest.” He said, politely. “I have no idea what’s happening, and the pamphlet left a lot of gaps.”

Alex shook his head and took Timothy by the hand. “I knew I shouldn’t have let Neil write that! I’m much better at explaining things! Now follow me real quick.” Timothy assumed that they were going someplace else, but his assumption was proved wrong when Alex abruptly stopped in the middle of the dome. “Here!”

Timothy followed Alex’s hand as he pointed to the ground. He hadn’t noticed it before but written across the floor in big bold letters were the words: LAVENDER 1.

“That’s how we know this is the Lavender 1.” Alex explained. “We’re guessing it’s alien because, well, look at it! It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, well at least in real life, I’ve seen better in a couple of movies.”

“Oh, I’ve heard that those are neat.” Timothy replied. “Can’t wait to see one!”

“What?”

“Anyway, I know your name, but who are you? Is this your ship?”

Alex waved him off dramatically. “Oh no, this definitely isn’t ours. We got here the same way as you did! The Triangle showed up, span around a bunch, we touched it, and wham! Now we’re here! Honestly what you know now is basically what we know, we’re just as confused as you are!”

“How long have you been here?”

“Oh, I’ve been here for half a year!” Alex said, trying to not let his anguish at that fact leek through to his expression.

Now Timothy wasn’t the best judge when it came to time, see the ‘sitting alone for an entire night’ story above for proof of that, but even he could tell that was a long time to be somewhere. “Wow! What about the others?”

“Sophia’s been here for eight months while Neil has been here an entire year!” Alex replied. “We give him flack for being paranoid, but I can’t imagine being the first one here and getting stuck alone for so long. That must have been brutal.”

“So, you guys are the only ones? There’s no one else here?”

“Yep, as far as we know.” Alex said with a shrug.

“So, this place is like a submarine? Can it move?”

“It hasn’t moved since any of us got here.” Alex responded with a frown. “I suppose it does kind of feel like a submarine too, now that you mention it.”

Timothy felt his eyes wander away from Alex and back towards the outside of the dome. “It’s… Amazing!” He declared happily. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful before, except maybe the stars, but this is definitely the runner-up!”

Alex was a little surprised at the new guy’s reaction. When he had touched the Triangle, the first thing that he did was panic as he tried to find the exit, much to his own embarrassment looking back. But this guy seemed almost happy that he was here like this was the best vacation spot in the world. Alex reasoned that maybe he had a concussion. “So, how did you get that nasty wound?”

“Oh, I’m not really sure! I think the Triangle thing hit me.”

Alex nodded as he turned around, hiding a giant grin on his face- the others were going to have a riot when they heard about this. “That’s… unlucky.” He said barely able to contain a laugh.

From behind the two, the big bulky doors slid open, and Sophia walked in. “I figured you too would be in here. Have you finished your exposition, Alex?”

Alex did a flourishing bow, “just about, I think.”

Sophia walked over and looked Timothy up and down. “How’s your head doing?”

Timothy naturally reached up and touched the bandages. “Oh, much better, thank you! I’m so sorry I caused such a fuss.”

“It’s fine.” Sophia said with a raised eyebrow. “You don’t have to apologize for having a head wound, how did you get that anyway?”

Timothy went to respond but Alex put a hand over his mouth. “I’ll tell you later.” He said with the widest of grins.

Again, the doors behind them opened and in came Neil with a chair raised defensively over his head. “Oh my god, is he here?” He shouted.

“Some guard you turned out to be!” Sophia commented. “Put that thing down, what are going to do? Chair him to death?”

“He could’ve been dangerous!” Neil defended himself as he placed the chair down with a clank. “And, if it came to it, I was planning to ‘show him to his seat.’”

Alex chuckled, Sophia didn’t.

“Sorry I didn’t wake you up.” Timothy said, realizing that he did indeed apologize a lot. “I wanted to have a look around.”

Neil wanted to reply with some clever and snarky comment, something to ease the embarrassment of having a concussed stranger get the better of him. But instead, he sighed and waved him off. “No worries, I get it. Just don’t do it again!” Neil walked over and joined the group. “Now, have you showed him the thingy?”

“The thingy?” Alex echoed like a parrot.

“Yeah, you know, the thingy!” Neil made a wild hand gesture that didn’t help identify what he was talking about in the slightest.

“Oh, the thingy!” Sophia said, her voice full of realization. She trotted over to one of the many machines lined around the room and her hands hovered above them as she searched for something. “Ah, here it is! Stand back!”

As Sophia pulled a lever, a section of the floor began to slide open- specifically the hole in the ‘e’ of Lavender. After the floor had slid away something started to shake and rise out. Timothy watched as what at first seemed like a giant pile of tangled wires showed itself to be a place to sit. It was some sort of chair that curled itself around into a strange scorpion-ish shape. Along the arms of the chair, much like the other machines, a multitude of buttons and levers sat arranged into impossible-to-figure-out positions and shapes. But most notably, at the top of the chair hanging over the rest of it, where the scorpion’s hypothetical stinger would be, hung a helmet.

For the first time since Timothy got here, he got a sinking feeling in his chest- which was ironic due to his current location. The helmet was different from the rest of the machines and things around it. It was silver, almost glowing in the dim light of the dome. It resembled more of a birdcage than it did a helmet, but its purpose was plainly clear.

“Isn’t that cool?” Said Neil, a jaunt in his step as he walked over to it. “It’s one of the only things we’ve managed to figure out how to do since we got here.”

“Yeah, I got lucky and pulled the right switch one day.” Alex added. “Still though, we can only make it come up and down, we have no idea how it works.”

Sophia walked over and sat in the chair, “Yeah, it doesn’t do anything, even if you hit all the buttons and stuff. The only thing we can do is make it beep.”

“Beep?” Timothy asked. “What do you mean?”

Sophia smiled as she reached up over her head and pulled the helmet down around her face. Her face looked exactly like it would look like if someone stuck their head inside a fancy birdcage, but unlike a regular birdcage, it started to beep. “Look!” She pointed to where a lightbulb sat on the side of the chair, it was glowing red. “See, doesn’t work.”

“It’s like a declined credit-card.” Said Neil.

“Hey, do you want to give it a go?” Alex beamed, only then realizing that his Timothy didn’t look so happy anymore.

Timothy was unsure of himself, he remembered what the voice in his head told him and he reasoned that this was probably what it was talking about. He looked around at his new friends and their excited faces, he didn’t want to disappoint them. “Sure.” He said warily.

Slowly he approached the chair and sat in it, it wasn’t comfortable at all. Someone clearly made the thing for another purpose that certainly wasn’t comfort. Timothy gingerly reached up and pulled the helmet over his head, the metal felt painfully cold to the touch.

Now if you have seen a movie or read a book at any point in your life, you have likely figured out what happens next. But since Timothy had barely read any books that weren’t school-based and hadn’t yet achieved his dream of watching a movie, he was very surprised when the light turned a vibrant green. With an alarming click, the helmet around Timothy’s face clamped down to the sides of his head and held him in place.

“What the hell?” Sophia declared reaching over and attempting to pry the helmet loose to no avail.

“Oh my god, Timothy are you alright?” Alex was startled but he knew he had to do something. He looked up and down at all the switches, searching desperately for a release switch of some sort. “Neil, help us!”

“Um… guys.” Neil said, his attentions turned not towards the action at the share but rather outside the dome. “We have a problem.”

All turned and followed Neil’s gaze. If you were a cardiologist, you would be very disturbed to hear that at that moment four hearts had dropped to the floor. Outside the dome, there was still an endless void of darkness and water, with the occasional fish floating by, but now those fish were getting closer and closer somehow.

The ship was moving and they had no idea how to stop it.