Novels2Search
IMPROBABLE NONSENSE
17. Ain't No Refunds, Pal!

17. Ain't No Refunds, Pal!

Timothy hadn’t been exposed much to the outside world and his knowledge of how it worked was a little lax, to say the least. He pictured it to be a busy place with lots of cars zipping down streets and businessmen in suits holding a phone to their ear with one hand and a suitcase in the other, well at least that’s what he saw in books. Whenever he was outside in the real-world things didn’t really fit that picture, everything moved a lot slower, and people tended to not actually rush to work- more a pessimistic saunter. However, that fast-paced world he had imagined would come to fruition- albeit with a lot fewer men in suits.

Neil covered his face as dust kicked up in front of them as the door to the bunker slid open. The dimness continued outward, with no nearby sun it would seem that this place relied only on lights and the colorful nebula to see where they were going. He took in his new surroundings, and more importantly, checked for any immediate dangers he could find. The boy in the tattered coat had seen his fair share of dirty streets, being homeless for a while does that to you, but this one really took the jagged, dirt-filled cake.

Right now, they were standing on the edge of a road, well he assumed that it was a road, there was so much dirt and grime caked on top of it he couldn’t be sure. It was large, the largest street he had ever known, and buildings and little shops lined each end for as far as he could see. The houses were all stacked beside each other so tightly that you could be forgiven to forget that behind them there was nothing but the empty void of space. Wires, cords, and other things that resemble snakes stretch up and above them connecting to other houses and places, or at least trying to. No wait, the buildings weren’t houses at all, judging by the number of signs on them all it would seem most of them were either bars or shops. All of them shared similar features, such as broken down, borderline crumbling, and trying to sell you something. Neil took it all in, which made him forget to cover his mouth and he started coughing on all the dust.

“Oh dear, allergies?” Asked Timothy, giving his friend a polite clap on the back.

“I hope so.” He replied. “Or else I’ve been poisoned by the air already.” His eyes shot wide, wait, is that possible? He thought.

“I didn’t say stand here and gab now did I?” Jenny McClain snorted, gesturing her gun as if to remind them ‘hey, I’ve got a gun, you should probably listen to me.’ “Move it!”

The pirate captain shoved Timothy forward indignantly and the group followed. Jenny made sure that they kept to the sides of the street, making sure to keep as low a profile as possible. She had run-ins on this street before and she certainly wasn’t in the mood for another show and dance.

As they walked down the Ring, they noticed that they weren’t alone- far from it. Loads of people passed them as they walked, they all kept their heads down and moved along. Alex noticed that a few of them popped their heads up when they saw Jenny, all of them had given her a very wide and generous berth.

Sophia noticed a sign up ahead, ‘H.P Loadouts’ it read in a scribble above a doorway. Below it she couldn’t help but overhear two aliens having a heated discussion, something about creds and barrels.

“Listen here, I bought this AutoBlazer off of ya just a week ago and already it’s broken down!”

“There ain’t no way!”

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

“Look you scraper, I ain’t gonna ask you nicely next time! I want my cred back for this heap of junk!”

“Ain’t no refunds, pal!”

“Do you see this thing? When I got it outta your shop it was lookin’ fine, but now there’s bolts and shit fallen off every which way! Look! Even the reticle popped off!”

“How do I know that you ain’t the one who broke it, huh? I’ve got your kind before, always tryin’ to scam me outta business!”

“Why the hell would I break my own gun, you scraper! I nearly got eaten by a Slorap on Vector-Alpha!”

“Well mate, I don’t believe ya! I sell top of the line products here!”

Sophia couldn’t help but notice the man slap the slide of his shop which caused his poorly hug sign to sway uneasily.

“Listen you scraper, I want my cred back and I ain’t leaving until I get it!”

“Well, I ain’t givin’ you nothin!’”

“You ain’t?” Sophia heard something charging, she couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder and see that the alien had placed his gun right up against the man’s face.

“You do that you scraper and you know what happens!”

“…Yeah.” The charging stopped. “I ain’t as dumb as I look, I know how this place works.”

“Good, now fuck off!”

“I ain’t done, I’m getting Mr. Ham.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you can’t hear, I’m getting Mr. Ham!”

“Hey!” Sophia felt another slap strike against the back of her head as Jenny demanded her attention. “Eyes forward, little dog!”

The group pushed forward down the grungy road, making sure to keep their eyes to themselves. After passing a few assorted shops with missing widows and a bar that’s door had recently been burned down, Alex built up the nerve to risk speaking. “Hey, Soph, are you okay?”

The girl side-eyed him, “stings like hell, but I’m fine.”

“Good.” He nodded, pursing his lips. He wanted to say something, but the problem was that he didn’t know what to say. It was like he was one of those actors he had seen on stage right before their big monologue rehearsing their lines, but right now he felt he had lost his script. So, the boy kept quiet, he would think of a way to talk to her later.

“We’re here.” Jenny McClain said plainly.

They stood in front of another building, this time there were no signs or a door for that matter- just a blank wall. The pirate reached out her arm and banged on the side of the structure twice, then waited for a pause before knocking again. From the other side of the wall, the same knocks echoed back before a loud click sang through the air.

“In!” The pirate captain demanded.

Everyone glanced at each other, “where?” Sophia asked, preparing to dodge another slap.

Jenny pointed at the wall, “in!”

No one had any idea what she was trying to get them to do. Neil reasoned that maybe his captor had the ability to walk through solid objects, Alex thought that maybe there was a secret passage he was failing to see, Sophia assumed that this was some sort of alien insult, while Timothy did the most reasonable thing he could think of and walked directly into the wall. To everyone’s surprise, he went through it and vanished.

“Well, that’s new.” Neil muttered.

Pushed on by Jenny’s gun, the rest followed their friend inside. Timothy smiled at them, “guys, did you see that! I went right through the wall!” He patted himself down. “Wait, does that mean I’m a ghost?”

“No, just alien technology I think.” Alex said, wanting to adjust his tie but realizing half of it was gone. “Though it was pretty neat.”

Inside the building was somehow even dimmer than the street outside, there were barely any lights to be seen. It gave the room an eerie feel, being unable to see the sides of the wall and what lurch therein something was that Neil did not appreciate. He gripped onto Sophia; she squeezed his hand to reassure him that she was there.

Suddenly they heard footsteps approaching them, they were slow and precise- like someone was tightrope walking through the dark. Alex took a step back, waiting to see what would come out of the shadows.

“Havile, I’ve got some people for ya.” Jenny pushed them forward as a shape formed itself before them.

From out of the corner a man stepped, and it would seem for a moment that the shadows had kept something back. For you see, while there was a head mounted upon a set of shoulders, the man simply did not have a face.