-- Aster --
I had done it. I had successfully made it to level 30. I was no longer in danger of just keeling over dead for simply insulting some old asshole for not kissing his ass. I was free, and I just didn't care. All my emotions were still in turmoil, even without them being amplified they were tearing through me.
I looked up to see the cat entity staring down at me.
I asked the first and hardest thing in my mind. "Are they even my friends?"
The cat looked down at me projecting sadness, when its voice came from everywhere. "I don't know."
"Would they even care if I left?" I could just walk away.
"I don't know."
"Why didn't anyone help me?" I was so alone, for so long.
"I don't know."
"Why did they leave me?" I think this was what hurt the most, they left me behind.
"..." The cat remained silent.
"Not going to announce you don't know, while I have an existential crisis?" I asked the entity sarcastically.
"It is not my place to tell you speculation or lies. I can only give truth."
"Then tell me a truth."
"You are hurting."
"No fuck!"
"You are hurt and have finally let yourself feel again. This is the first step to being able to truly heal."
My soul felt like it was broken, and fragile. Like it would shatter from the slightest touch. "How is this healing? I just want it to end." I gave voice to my dark thoughts.
"This is the first step in you being able to question and grow. To heal takes time, and you've been letting it fester for a long time." The cat said sagely.
"And the infections killing me."
"It doesn't have to."
"Just leave me alone." I mentally pushed the cat away, it just sat there staring.
"We have all the time in the world here."
"Maybe I'll use it all," I said childishly.
The cat projected sadness, but I just ignore him and retreated into myself. Feeling everything, and letting it all wash over me.
I was drifting and lost not knowing what to do anymore.
Why did I do all this? What was it all for? I just didn't know... I drifted letting my mind wander. I just didn't want to face the truth. I was scared. I was scrambling to do something before I was gone.
Not even I thought I would have actually pulled off this crazy scheme. I mean come on a vibrating ax and a battery. By all means, this should have killed me or done absolutely nothing.
This was too much, and I began to chuckle at the absurdity of it all. I don't know how long I laughed because time was strange here, no matter how long I crazily giggled I didn't feel tired fatigue, or hunger. It felt like an endless tied of madness.
When I looked over to the cat I could feel its concern for me radiating off of it, which only made me laugh harder.
I think I might have gone a little insane, as madness was giving way to tiredness. Somehow this episode made me feel more human again. I still hurt, but I didn't think that would go away any time soon. Somehow, I think I found myself again.
Seeing me come back to myself the cat spoke. "I'm sorry little moonflower, for whatever has happened to you. Are you ready now?"
Ready for what? I watched as the cat uncurled itself to stare at me. It took me a few minutes to figure out what the creature was talking about.
Oh yeah, I leveled. It must be talking about the final question. I could feel the mania start to bubble up again, but this time I pushed it back down. The entire time the cat stared unblinking, just waiting for me.
"I don't think I'm in the right state of mind to answer the question."
"It does not matter. The question will be asked and must be answered."
"HAHAHAHA" this time I didn't hold back the frustration and just let out a long tired laugh.
"Fine. Let's get this over with." I snapped.
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The cat stood and began to walk around me, but this time something was different. Every other step, the cat appeared to glitch out, as though it was a digital construct of pixels, scattering, and reforming constantly.
"Speak your Dream."
My dream? What does that even mean? What do I want? Why is this different from desire? No, dream is a concept of what could be, in the future. A dream is not a need, yet the most important one. It is what my desire drives me to, what everything compiled brings me to.
Where would all my words bring me? I don't know, but when my mind goes to a dream all I find are images of my friends. They were all there, happy, smiling and we were having fun. Then I was all alone, and no one understanding. The time when I was taken, and they left without me. Even I, as dense as I was, didn't think they saw me as a friend.
None of that mattered, when I learned they were in trouble. I ran to help. They will probably never remember I was even there, but that didn't matter as long as they were free.
My dream was small and sad, but it was my dream and I wanted to "Believe" in them.
"Truly a strange creature you are." The cat exploded into pixels passing through and into me, I felt a surge of power I never felt before. The surge faded as I watched the creature begin to reform.
When the cat's body began to reform its voice contained an excitement it didn't have before. "Congratulations you have reached the pinnacle of humanity. Level 30 is the limit of the human body, without damage. From here any excess energy you gather will slowly corrode damaging the cells within your body. We recommend expelling as much power as possible every year or so to stay in top form."
I watched confused as the creature started to give me a speech about reaching the pinnacle of humanity. So is this why the keepers were so old they were just hoarding power?
The cat continued, "by reaching the pinnacle you have also earned the right to the truth of the world."
"Truth what truth? Is this going to be another cryptic riddle and when I ask what it means you're just gonna say you'll find out?" I asked annoyed.
The cat laughed a little before answering. "No this. This is one of the great secrets of this world, and you have fought long and hard earning the right to learn."
"Fine what is this big secret?" I asked tiredly.
"Before that a warning."
"A warning for a secret? I get it if I tell anyone I'm dead."
"No."
That surprised me. "Then what?"
"Once you know the secret, you literally will not be able to tell people below the level of 30. The words will come out but they will be filtered before they ever reach their ears."
"...Wait." I thought back to a few times I had been just walking around and would hear a strange distorted noise that almost sounded like conversation. Then I remembered when Zin tried saying something to me, and it was filtered out. Even his lips were distorted when he spoke. How was something like that even possible? Was this some type of mass mind control? I looked horrified at the cat, stunned speechless at what this implied.
The cat gave a feline grin. "No this is not mind control it has to do with the protocols of magic here. The words are filtered as they reach your ears."
"So...mind control with extra steps."
"Information control." It said correcting me.
"I think that might be more horrifying."
The cat chuckled.
"Whatever. This world is still fucked up. What is the warning?" I asked.
"Once you learn the secret you will be given a choice."
"What choice?"
"To either remember or forget."
"That's mind control," I said raising my eyebrow.
"Yes, that is mind control, but you have to make the choice."
"If the secret is so horrible I would want to forget, then I don't know if I want to learn it in the first place," I said truthfully.
The cat shook its head. "It doesn't matter the secret must be learned and you will make a choice."
"That's not what you said, you said I earned the right to learn. Not that I had to." I said outraged.
"Yes. Earned the right, and you don't have to learn. You can choose to forget."
"That's...you know what at least you are telling me before doing it, instead of finding out later."
"Are you ready?"
"Sure."
The pink faded to darkness as a video screen appeared in the middle of the air.
A screen appeared as a lady who looked to be in her mid 40's sat. She was surrounded by a bunch of other people of various ages, and a diverse set of body types. Which was very strange. I had never seen such a diverse array of people. Not even in the keeper meeting. Sure a lot of the people in the meeting were older, but only one actually had a gut and even then he still looked physically fit. These people looked...soft and there was a palpable excitement radiating from the screen. "What is this?"
The woman was looking directly at the camera as she began to speak. "If you are watching this then congratulations! You are one of the next generations of humanity, to have embarked on this journey." She paused as the rest of the people in the room shouted their praise. The lady waited before continuing. "You are part of one of the first great endeavors by humanity, the colonization of the stars!"
What? What the fuck does this secret have to do with colonization?
"By now I'm sure you're wondering what I am talking about. You have been planet-bound for what might be decades or even centuries. But here's the thing." The woman leaned forward conspiratorially, "You are actually on a generational ship heading towards a new planet. Where you and all the people aboard will have the honor to be the first to colonize."
What the rot? Planet? Is the world a giant ship or something? How would that even be possible?
"Now before you wonder how the ship could be planet-size it's not."
??? I shook from how close the guess was from what I was thinking.
"The world you are currently in is a virtual world set up to keep the population's minds active. We ran into too many problems with cryo sleep for that to have been a practical option. You are currently in a semi-hibernation where your mind is kept active while your body uses minimum energy."
So none of this is real? Nothing we've done matters? Is this why all the secrecy? Is this why the choice? Live in ignorance or live knowing nothing means anything?
The video didn't care for my existential questions as it continued. "The world may not be real, but the people among it are. The relationships and adventures are real no matter the code. Hold to those bonds, learn, grow, enjoy and live."
"How?" I asked aloud, knowing I wouldn't get an answer.
"When you are a decade away from the habitable planet terraforming protocols will activate, and you all will learn how to survive, and thrive on this new planet." The lady paused as she pulled something up on the screen showing a small green planet, with was might be oceans and landmasses. This must be the place we are going.
"This entire journey should take about 500 years by our best estimate...give or take a century." The room laughed. "We believe in you and your people. And earth can't wait to hear back from our long-lost kin." The room grew more serious before she spoke one last time. "This is earth saying goodbye, and until we meet again."
The screen disappeared and the world went pink again.
"What the actual fuck?"
"It's a lot to take in." The cat commented.
"You think." I snapped
"I will leave you alone as you contemplate your choice." The feline began to fade leaving me alone to process everything I had just learned.