-- James --
Wrong. Everything feels wrong. Strange, abnormal, nothing, it was just not right. The unusual atmosphere permeated through my entire being, and I basked in the peculiar sensation, not knowing anything else. There must have been some other type of existence, otherwise this would be normal. Something distant, far and away suffused through the strange, adding to it's oddities as I began to feel, and think. 'Where is my past? What happened to it?'
'Who am I?' Images flashed pulled to the forefront of my mind, a kaleidoscope of fractals scattered and broken. Every disparate thought performing a pantomime of my life, and not even in order.
Strong images came first, starting with the day of graduation, when we all integrated our seeds. The feelings I had long buried and come to terms with from that day became fresh once more. Betrayal hurts especially by those you love, it doesn't matter why they did it...maybe it does. I knew why, I even kind of agree that it was needed, but it maybe a long time before forgive. I had thought I had grown past this, but now I was wondering if I ever would.
Another memory surfaced, one from when I was a young child no more than 10, and watched as Aster was taken away for playing a joke on Rowan. Aster had pickpocketed Rowan's new wallet right in-front of us, then he immediately gave it back to Rowan. Aster had done it to prove he could when none of us believed him, it was quite impressive. It was later I learned that the police had taken Aster from his house for theft. Rowan had told his parents about Aster taking his wallet, thinking it was impressive, but his parents didn't take it that way. I didn't understand why the police took Aster away, since he gave the wallet back. My father had to sit me down to explain that it was for Aster's own good, and they were just going to scare him. Even then I thought it was excessive, but I could not argue with the results. My father was right, Aster never stole again not even in jest. 'Strange that he became a rogue.'
More and more memories played, showing who I was, everything I had done every triumph and failure. It all culminated on the night I joined my guild. That night I was beaten by a group of Shadow Cats, then left on the guild's doorstep naked. They had tried to steal away my future, attempting to turn the guild away from me before I even joined. I hated them for what they had tried to do, but was oddly thankful, since they brought me right to my guild.
Those weren't the last memories. My brain was protecting me reminding me of who I was, before showing me the nightmare. Always the same rooms, the same tasks, but every time the only thing that changed, was us. Every loop we learned and adapted making fewer mistakes. That was until we stopped adapting, reaching our bodies' limits. Then it became a true horror. A duplicate on repeat, never changing, leaving no room for revision.
I could no longer trust my mind, even that was robbed from us thanks to the final room. It was the only place that had any variations in the loop. Every time it would show another terror for us to overcome. In the end, even that became the same.
With all the fragments in place, my mind began to organize, I finally remembered myself. I am James Larch Pennyroyal, Luminary of the masked owl guild. My identity back, my eyes finally opened allowing me to see a world of pink surrounding me.
"Luminary, I see your darkness has lifted." A voice resonated from everywhere, when a large masked owl appeared in front of me, with its telltale brown outline around his face and beautiful brown plumage down its back. It sat there looking at me curiously.
-- Bay --
*Knock Knock* "No thank you". I sat in an empty room trying to think. Which I was frustratingly finding very hard to do. The problem was that I couldn't remember anything, and that made thinking quite hard. When you don't have any data to extrapolate from, reasoning becomes very difficult. Every thought passed in the exact present and then was swiftly forgotten. 'I don't like not knowing.'
*Knock Knock* The sound came again, this time gentler. "Hello?"
'Why would I ask that? Why am I in a room with just a door?'
"Hey, I can think again."
'What did I mean again?' I must have been trying to speculate.
'So that's why I feel frustrated. Now, what am I doing here?' I had no memory of this place except for the knowledge of having been here for a long time, just existing.
'This must be a place I escaped to protect myself. If that is the case then this is a room I constructed in my mind. Now the question is why did I do this?' While I was now able to reason, I still couldn't remember anything beyond this room. I was alone in a very plain room with wooden floors, empty wooden walls, and a single chair sitting behind a table. I was disappointed at the simplicity of the whole mess. I'd like to think if I had to create a safe place in my mind I could have made it more interesting.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
*Knock Knock* The sound was now barely audible. "Coming."
'Oh, I'm answering it, I guess if that knock fades completely I will be trapped forever. Do I want that?' I stopped to think on the matter before concluding. 'No, I think I would hate that.'
The door suddenly opened responding to my will, and I was engulfed in memory.
Visions of the past flooded into me, but it was the emotions that burned. All the passions I had bottled away flooded into me, anger, fear, haplessness, and raging joy. It was enough to make one cry as the mania consumed me. Soon the insanity would fade, but the anger would remain. 'How could I let go of what had happened to us?'
'As soon as I get out of here we're going to hold the mayor down and make him explain everything.' The desire to know why was overriding any thoughts on revenge. 'It just didn't make any sense.' That more than anything bothered me.
'Why would you put 4 people in an endless loop, for no other reason than a mission?' The more I thought the less I could wrap my head around the entire affair. 'If it was a test then they should have pulled us out telling us we failed, not let us go on forever.'
'Was it some sort of new experimental torture method? Then why send teenagers instead of criminals?' The lack of any context was getting to me. I needed a reason. The more I thought the more the memories of the loop began to grow distant and elusive. I was more focused on trying to figure out why, than anything else though.
*Pfhp* I chided myself 'That is so very me. Wanting to know why before even remembering who I am. If I didn't I guess I wouldn't be Bayberry Eyebright Azureist of the Ravens.' The world turned, everything gained dimensionality and color turning pink.
"Azureist was the room at least blue?" A loud cawing voice came from everywhere. A blur coalesced into the sleek black form of a Raven.
-- Rowan --
Fear was all I was. An embodiment of anxiety and horror, becoming a concept. It was not me holding the emotion, it was the fear gripping tight as the rest of me drifted off piece by piece. That was until I felt something different.
Warm. Comfortable. Safe. Those were the feelings that began to seep into me, mending the cracks, pulling everything back together. There was nothing else that mattered right now except healing. Everything was now blessedly quiet, after so long of...something. I just know this was what I needed, something had been wrong for a long time but now it wasn't.
After so long drifting in comfort, the fear finally loosened it's grip. I was free of the fear and was able to think. Now was the time to remember.
I took in a deep breath, finding no air or expansion in my lungs. 'I don't think I have a body anymore.' I didn't let that stop me from inhaling deep. Feeling much more centered I released the breath exhaling. Even without the physical act, it calmed me.
I still knew nothing of who or where I was, as I opened myself up to the world. I could feel all around, everything, warmth safety, hope. 'Strange, I feel I should know this place. It feels familiar, this must be a good place.'
I let myself drift secure and safe when I wondered. 'How long have I been here?'
Like that time began to move forward.
I had been so overwhelmed with emotion for so long that all I only felt numb, as memories played through my mind. I felt like a voyeur to my own life as waves upon waves of scenes played out in front of me, completing a puzzle of me. Each thought slowly fitted together in a collection of colors, remaking me piece by piece. Some recollections faded with time while others were bright and new. When everything was in place I found a patched-together version of myself staring back at me.
The mismatched model stood lifeless, waiting. It was I who need to take the next step. It was always up to me to accept this. I was scared. I didn't want to go back to whatever brought me here. I stared for what felt like an eternity, that one step felt precarious, standing over an abyss, but I had felt fear for far too long. I moved forward into the simulacrum, becoming Rowan Thistle Tamer of the Elks. My eyes finally saw the world around me.
A giant elk stared down at me, looking bored. "Tamer. It is time."
-- Violet --
"Why? Why? Come on wake up! Where are they?" I screamed into the nothing. The words fading from my mind as they are being said, only anger in their place.
That didn't stop me from demanding. "The blight is going on?"
"You can't do this! Whoever you are!" Yelling once more into the void.
"Where are they?" I was relentless. I knew whoever took me, also took them away from me. "They need me!" I couldn't remember who they were but I knew something was wrong with them, with all of us. If I wasn't there I couldn't help them and that wouldn't be acceptable.
Then something else occurred to me. "Who the blighted lands am I?" I asked softly.
"Why don't I know who I am? What have you done to me?" Whoever took us had taken everything from me. "You can't hold me like this!"
I wailed at the air, trying to raise my fists at nothing. My brain was telling me I was moving but I know I wasn't.
The fact I couldn't remember anything, and on top of that I couldn't move, was pissing me off. Not to mention whatever was going on in here.
"I will get out of whatever the fuck this is," I shouted pushing my will out into the world, making it shake. I smiled. 'That was something new.'
"LET ME OUT!" This time shouting with everything I had. The world vibrated, and cracked as something flowed into me, and I began to remember. 'Cervical vertebrae 7 bones. Thoracic vertebrae, 12 bones. Lumbar vertebrae, 5 bones'
'Guess I'm a doctor.' Whatever I was doing was working, but it wasn't enough. Now I knew they had hidden the rest of me away, right outside this bubble and I needed all of me.
"GIVE IT ALL BACK!" The ruptures grew deeper as more medical knowledge entered my mind, interspersed with memories of being a kid, roughhousing, and taking down James and Rowan.
"Ha, nearly forgot about that." But then I remembered the entire incident. I had knocked Rowan off the table breaking his arm. I tried everything my tiny little mind could think of back then, only to find I couldn't help. I was only causing more pain. When our parents came I was crying more than Rowan, he was comforting me as he held his own broken arm. Rowan was fine the next day, but I was more cautious after that. 'Still kicked their asses though.'
"I SAID GIVE ME EVERYTHING!!!" The world shattered and everything rushed back in a tangled ball of information. It took time for my mind to parse the information. Soon enough I remembered I was Violet Tea Thyme Mender of the Snakes. With that thought, light reached my eyes.
"Good sStrike, little Mender." A little green-scaled Aesculapian snake was curled in a ball staring up at me. I flipped him off.