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1580 Summer
When my father, Felipe II declared the establishment of the United Kingdom of Iberia after inheriting the throne of Portugal, I – Edward VII, the King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and the Netherlands – remarried after 3 years of widowerhood.
Although my fiancé was originally Archduchess Eleanor of Austria(Another Princess of Austria), who was 12 years old at that time – for the record, I was born in 1556 and since my birthday is July 7th, I’m now 24 – since she suddenly died, my engagement was canceled and so I had to choose my partner from the aristocrats inside my kingdom.
And my partner was Anna of Ulster, the 2nd daughter of the Earl of Ulster.
It was an arranged marriage whose purpose was to fully take control of Ireland. For the price of the wedding, her father (The Earl of Ulster) – which is now my father-in-law – was appointed as the chairman of the Self-Ruling Parliament of Ireland.
“Oh my God, now I have to face another motherfucker!”
“…Okay, I guess I’m one of that. But do tell me, who’s the other one?”
“Why, that’s my father, of course. He sold me to you to become a chairman of the Irish Parliament, a puppet of you English, to be more exact!”
That was the conversation she and I exchanged at the wedding which was held in London.
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Since she said those unacceptable words - as a Queen of this Kingdom and my wife - while frowning as hard as she can, I guess she intended to get at least a slap in the face and put her father in a tight spot.
But, unluckily for her, I didn’t care. On the contrary, I was delighted to wed a hoyden like her so that I could relieve myself a burden of remarriage, since I couldn’t forget the last moment of my late wife Maria.
And the next morning
“…I was mistaken yesterday. You are not a motherfucker, but a beast!
That was the word the 16-year-old Irish tomboy Anna – she was born in 1562 and it wasn’t her birthday yet - shouted at me after our first night.
And with a smile, I replied
“Since you’ll be living in London from now on, you’d better watch your language, my dear.”
1581 Fall
Great Britain’s Army reserve landed in Ireland. It was a military campaign targeted towards the Irish nobles who still not surrendered to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and the Netherlands.
Most of them threw in their towel at the mighty Royal Navy and the Army reserve – which was supported from the Religion Tax gathered from the Protestants and Jews of the Netherlands (*Actually, it’s not the just Netherlands, but also includes Belgium and Luxembourg according to 21C map in original history.) – of the United Kingdom, but still a few of them resisted till the very end.
What’s their problem? Did I cause them the Great Famine? Or, did I massacre them like Oliver Cromwell? I didn’t! On the contrary, I also established self-ruling parliament in Ireland, and allowed their autonomy, just like I did to the Netherlands, Scotland, and Wales!
Okay, never mind those persistent fools.
“I appoint you, Kilian - the Earl of Ulster - as the Marquis of Ulster of the Kingdom of Ireland.”
“Long live the King! Long live King Edward VII!”
After those idiots were subjugated by the United Kingdom & Pro-British Irish aristocrats’ armies, their ranks and lands were confiscated and redistributed to Pro-British Irish aristocrats who helped their subjugation.
And that’s why Kilian – my father-in-law and father of Anna – the Earl of Ulster was promoted to the Marquis of Ulster.
It was, of course, the old ‘Divide and Rule’ strategy. Since he was appointed as the Marquis of Ulster and became recognized to his rivals – other Irish feudal lords who didn’t fully obey to me by heart, although they promised submission on the surface – as fully Pro-British, he had to oppress the anti-British factions continuously to keep his rank and land.
In short, he shall be my royal agent - or middleman – in Ireland.
At this sight, my wife Anna who was still grumpy all the time just uttered two words sarcastically.
“Yeah, great.”