1612 Winter(December)
“From this moment, I, Edward VII, King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Iberia declares that all schools, colleges, and universities are open for all men in my kingdom for free! And its fees will be paid by royal assets."
"Also, I'll have the Department of Education to look up into whether establishing a vocational school in every baron fief is possible in our budget. Finally, I'll set up a royal bookbindery in London, so that every man can buy or borrow a book - which he wants - at a cheap price."
"No, you mustn't, your majesty!"
"How can you allow those lowly serfs to read! If they can read, they'll soon turn into angry mobs! Please, reconsider, your majesty!"
Just as I expected. All councilmen, especially the representatives at the House of Commons - Gentries and Yeomans, to be exact - went bananas. But they've just activated my trap card! Ha!
"What the hell are you talking about! I didn't say that I'll hire serfs as government officials! I was just trying to give them a more job opportunity, like working in manufacturing or merchant guilds! Are you even trying to refuse that as well?"
"Also, what do you mean by 'If they can read, they'll soon turn into angry mobs!' ?! What did the 1st Congress in London - the Congress of Great Britain - have done so far? Were you all back-stabbers till now, to me and my people?"
"B...But your majesty!"
"Silence! Chancellor? Where's the Chancellor?"
"Yes, your majesty?"
1613 Winter(January-February)
I've ordered the Revenue & Customs - a non-ministerial department under the Treasury - to conduct a tax audit on all incumbent senators and representatives of the 1st Congress of the United Kingdom.
The result was just as I expected. The most integral councilmen were those who've 'only' received a few hundered￡ from West India or East India Company as a bribe. And most senators and representatives received thousands, ten thousands of ￡ worth of cash, real estates, bonds as a bribe from the City of London or the Bank of England.
Actually, I've already figured out how much tax they've evaded so far, with the help of the City of London and the Bank of England - I, the Royal of the United Kingdom to be more exact, is the largest stockholder of the City of London and the Bank of England and has the power to appoint, dismiss and audit the heads of those two. - so it was just a piece of cake.
「Tax evasion scandal at New Year's day! Shame on you, Congressmen!」
「Even Sodom and Gomorrah will be cleaner than the 1st Parliament of the United Kingdom!」
And those become the newspapers' headlines. Since this scandal came into light after the king criticized Congress's moral decay and proved it with a tax audit, it was more shocking to other European countries as well.
For one thing, the Divine Right of Kings was still the prevailing political ideology in Europe. And another thing, it was a too big scandal to the commoners and serfs, since they've long believed that corruptness was just a personal issue, and rulers - kings, aristocrats, bourgeoisie, etc. - were more strict and moral.
There was no exception, not only gentries and yeomen but also churches and aristocrats were inspected.
Forget the Treasury. The Revenue & Customs was not made up of high-handed personal administration who are either aristocrats or rich bourgeoisie. Its members were mostly low-rank bureaucrats who've passed the test and became government officials, and they were neither aristocrats nor rich gentries, yeomen.
Of course, they were not happy with supervisors who were appointments by orders from above. And their loyalty was only for the king, who gave them - commoners or run away serfs - the opportunity to study and apply for the test to become government official - even though it was low-rank.
So, the officials of the Revenue & Customs have searched every nook and cranny of the congressmen - both the Senators and the Representatives. And I've fervently helped them with the financial information network of the City of London and the Bank of England.
And the skeletons in the Congressmen's closet spread to entire Europe every day, thanks to the newspapers, which soon made the 1st Congress of the United Kingdom - the 1st Congress in London - a laughingstock in whole Europe.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
'Well, well, well. As they always say, the pot calls the kettle black, isn't it? I don't believe foreign aristocrats and bourgeoisie are cleaner than mine. But, at least their scandals are not revealed, yet.'
1613 Spring(March-May)
"P, please forgive us, your majesty..."
"You've won, Your majesty. Please allow the dissolution of parliament."
"You're late. I was cooling my heels, waiting for you to come to me."
In the end, the Parliament gave up. The representatives of the House of Lords of and the House of Commons came to me and asked me to endorse the dissolution of the parliament and the re-election.
'Better late than never.'
Since their integrity, and people's trust has felled to the ground, the current councilmen have no authority and power, even if they try to keep their seats. Also, if they didn't come to me, I myself would have ordered the dissolution of the parliament and the re-election.
The re-election date was set as this year's summer. Before the dissolution of the Parliament, I've submitted 4 bills to Congress. 1st one was the education reform, which became a fuse of all this fuss. The 2nd one was the introduction of universal education. 3rd one? Hiring high-rank bureaucrats as a test, just like low-rank bureaucrats, although the subjects for that test is much more difficult than the test to hire low-rank bureaucrats. Last but not least was granting suffrage to 'all' males, from the age of 20, regardless of their wealth - tax-paying amount, to be more exact.
And all congressmen chanted 'Aye' to those bills. In short, it was unconditional surrender to me.
"It's my last mercy and thanks to the congressmen who've passed all those 4 bills. Don't sentence penal servitude to the ex-councilmen who've been arrested for receiving bribes.
Instead, just have them pay huge fines and sentence house arrests."
"Yes, your majesty."
Meanwhile, East India Company reported me that the Later Jin Dynasty - which changes its name to the Qing Dynasty in 1636, after it occupied Beijing - was founded in Manchuria.
Since it's blocked by the Great Wall of China, its' merchants can't make it to the Liaodong Peninsula. Also, Primorsky Krai - the region which Vladivostok located - is currently, almost uninhabited land, with no Russians now.
So, if East India Company wishes to trade with Later Jin, it has to pass the Korean Peninsula - Joseon Dynasty in this era.
"...However, Joseon is not in good terms with later Jin, just like the Holy Roman Empire is with Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. So, we humbly ask your opinion, your majesty."
"Hmm...how's the population of that kingdom, Later Jin, you say?"
"It's estimated that it's not even 1 million, although the exact figure is unavailable since they're mostly nomads, your majesty."
"Speaking of Poland, can you conquer those heretics and convert them into Christianity?"
"Impossible, your majesty. It'll antagonize Joseon and Ming(*Chinese Dynasty at that time), which are our Kingdom's trading partners in the Far East. Both countries argue Manchuria as their De Jure ownership."
"Suppose we do only trade with those heretic nomads - Later Jin - then. What kind of goods can they offer us?"
"Furs and war horses, your majesty."
"Then what good would they do to our kingdom? Their population is less than a million, so their purchasing power is almost nothing! Also, we can neither colonize them nor carry their warhorses to Europe! Furs? We can buy loads of furs from Poland!"
"Suggest the King of Joseon purchase more firearms from us. If possible, suggest the same thing to Ming as well."
"However, your majesty, we can't meet their increasing demands even now, with only factories in the Tsushima Islands!"
"Then build more factories in the Philippines and New Wales(=Taiwan)! From now on, you don't need my permission to build new factories in Far East colonies."
"Thank you, your majesty. Your wish is our command."
I just gave a normal answer to the East India Company. 'If you don't know which side to choose, just sell goods-especially weapons-to your original partners and earn money.'
And the East India Company followed suit.
Bye-bye, Qianlong Emperor. You won't have the opportunity to force the Macartney Embassy to kowtow before you. Your ancestors will be crushed by Ming and Joseon's army, which are fully equipped with European firearms, and you won't be born.
1613 Summer(June-August)
Princess of Wales - My daughter-in-law, Emilia - gave birth to another princess. If she was a boy, he might have become a rival to Duke of Cambridge - my grandson, Henry - so it was just good news to a royal family.
At the same time, the Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire, Rudolf II, died at the age of 59.
Out of 7 Prince-Electors, 4 of them were Protestants. An electorate of Cologne - who was once an Archbishop of Cologne but converted into Calvinist after falling in love with a daughter of a Calvinist feudal lord -,Duke of Saxony, Count Palatine, Margrave of Brandenburg.
Those 4 held their own Imperial Election at Frankfurt, with the absence of 3 Catholic Prince-Electors - Archbishop of Mainz, Archbishop of Trier, King of Bohemia - and the Protestants won, and the new Kaiser was...
"We hereby declare that Johann, Duke of Saxony, is elected as a new Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire!"
"Yeah!" "Long live Kaiser!"
"God bless the Reich!" "God bless the Saxony!"
Of course, the Austrian Habsburg family - which includes Matthias, king of Bohemia and the younger brother of the late Rudolf II - and the 3 Catholic Prince-Electors, Republic of Venice and the Union of Aragon and Two Sicilies didn't agree.
"F**k off!"
"That election was a fraud, made in a smoke-filled room!"
"No legitimate Kaiser exists!"
So, to the German Protestants, Johann the Duke of Saxony was their new Kaiser. But to the German Catholics, they had no Kaiser. In short, if one can get a support of the 3 Catholic Prince-Electors and at least one more vote from the Protestant Prince-Electors, you can be a new, legitimate kaiser from both sides.
So, the Union and the Venice proclaimed that Matthias, king of Bohemia, was the true, legitimate Kaiser, taking the German Catholic's side.
And the conflict grew, with the German Protestants claiming
"Why those rebels!"
"The Catholic Prince-Electors have dissented to the imperial election results!"
"According to the Golden Bull of 1356, they must be kicked out of the electoral college!"
So, a German civil war, which was between Archduke Matthias and late Rudolf II, escalated into a religious civil war between Matthias - King of Bohemia who represent Catholics - and Johann - Duke of Saxony - who represents Protestants.
"Interesting. Now, whose side should I choose? Who should be the next Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire?"
And my answer was this.
"I, Edward Philip Albert Charles von Tudor Habsburg, king of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Netherlands and Portugal and Castille, proclaim myself as the one and only, rightful Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire!"
"As the eldest grandson of the Charles V - the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire - and also the king of the Netherlands - which was Charles V's homeland and De Jure territory of the Holy Roman Empire and as the eldest son of the Felipe II, I inherit the patrilineal blood of the House of Habsburg. I'm a more legitimate Kaiser than Matthias or Johann! What say?"
That's what I've announced at the 1st Congress of London, which is made up of mostly novice congressmen, who were elected for the first time - with most of their predecessors failed to be re-elected thanks to that corrupt scandal.
'Even it was not in my plan, I won't let this once-in-a-lifetime chance go away!'
If I do become the Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire, then, I can proclaim myself as the Emperor of the New West Roman Empire, with conquering at least half of the West Europe - Great Britain, Netherlands, Portugal, Spain, Italy, Holy Roman Empire(Germany)
Also, even if I fail to become a Kaiser, I'll at least conquer Aragon and Two Sicilies and kick out my incompetent half-brother, Felipe II from the throne of the Union, from this war.
"..."
"..."
There was a short silence. And then
"Long live Kaiser!" "Long live Kaiser!" "Long live Edward VII!"
"Death to Saxony!" "Death to Bohemia!" "Death to Aragon!"
To no surprise, the 1st Congress of the United Kingdom in London agreed unanimously. And a few days later, the 2nd Congress in Madrid followed suit.
The dice is cast.